August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
Comments
-
Texas I am sorry to hear that your Dad is not doing well. It is so good that you are able to honor his wishes to be at home. I am glad you have been able to talk with him, that is important.
Hugs Ginger
0 -
Tex...sorry to hear about your Dad. Hugs, Rachel xo
0 -
Tex: we have been talking but, still and all, I do feel bad for your loss. You can never prepare. My father wanted to die at home but that thing he married wanted him to go to hospice. I was the last person he ever spoke to. I told him to stay at home. He was so scared, it was awful seeing my dad like that. I miss him so much. I miss my mom equally as much. A lot of loss. In any case, Tex, I am glad you got there to see him especially because he was asking for you. It is wonderful that you went to spend some time with him. Thankfully, for my dad, by the time the ambulance got there to take him to hospice he was already losing consciousness. He never regained any consciousness when he got to hospice and he passed within a few hours of arriving there. I think it is much nicer to pass in your own home. I hope your dad is comfortable tonight.
More loss this evening with the passing of the amazing, enormously talented Whitney Houston. I have been crying on and off for hours. I have her debut album on vinyl and she shaped the mentality of so many young women. Even the lyrics to "Greatest Love" gave inspiration to every teenager with 2 ears in the 80s. Geesh...it is such a big loss. These drugs are terrible and although it is not confirmed that her passing was due to drugs, as of now it seems like that might be the case. It is just so sad. I loved her music, I grew up on it. Sad times for us here in this country as we are losing artists who have shaped generations. Ugh...what a night.
0 -
(((Texas))), glad you got to go see him. My father got to die at home, for which I've always been grateful.
Lizzie: Good weather in the South? We are having a cold front. It went down into the teens last night and will again tonight. It hasn't been above freezing all day. That's run of the mill for ya'll, but we don't like that sXXt down here
0 -
PS Meant to tell ya'll, I went to church this morning without a hat. It's the first time I've been out "topless." My hair is about 1/2 inch long but it looks ok; finally have enough coverage that I don't look like I have mange, so I just decided I was ready. Since I've done 2 chemos, this is the first time I've been without a hat in a year and a half. Boy, it felt good!
0 -
That's cool Lady! Bet it looks cute!0
-
Tex: So glad to hear from you again. I, too, am sorry that about your dad. But I am so happy that you got the opportunity to say good-bye, that is very important for both of you.
Lady: Way to go! Topless..WOO HOO! I remember how great it was when I finally had enough hair to go topless, what freedom!
Omaz: My doctor's won't admit it, but I do think that chemo resets our bodies. There are things about me that are the opposite of what they were before. Just one example, I am always cold now...even in the summer time I was freezing most of the time. I used to always be the warm one, even in the dead of winter I never wore a coat. The doctors blame it on the weight loss but I have been this way since I started chemo and at that point I hadn't lost any weight. I think the doctors just don't want to admit how powerful that stuff really is, so they deflect all your concerns. As for the driver's license, my son wasn't very interested either. He was actually 17 before he got his permit, eventually though he wanted to drive.
For all you runners out there (Cal and Lizzy to name two) I decided a month or two ago to attempt a 5K just to prove that I could do it. Today, I ran 1-1/2 miles on the treadmill...I am halfway there! I think it will take me a while to get to 3 miles, but I am going to keep trying. Hopefully by late Spring I will be able to run a 5K. Wish me luck!
Well, have a great week everyone!
Debbi
0 -
Good evening, warriors!
Tex: Good luck tomorrow! Let me know what happens. I wish you the best. Nothing but good vibes, woman!
Sptmm: Deb thanks for the compliment but I don't run! I would love to run again and if I ever stop getting surgeries perhaps I can! Kel is a runner. Good for you on that 1.5 miles! That is a huge accomplishment and if you want to run the 5K, you are almost there! I am confident you will do it!
Lady: so sorry for your weather! There was a special on CT weather last week and they basically said we are off the charts and will remain this way, in this very odd weather pattern, for quite some time. I guess we have a Southern winter this year because it has rarely been below 40 during the day and hardly below 30 at night. Don't forget, though, last winter we had like 10 feet of snow. We only had 1 bad storm and that was in October. I think weather is changing for the entire country. Friends in LA were freezing a few months ago when it was 55 here! I don't think we have ever had a winter this warm. Hope you don't get snow!
Happy trails to all and may one wonderful thing happen for each of you this week
0 -
Good day my lovely warriors!
PET scan update: unfortunately it showed uptake at the mastectomy site on the side where the bc was. I will keep you all posted. If my boob had not been wicked itchy, for weeks now, and under my arm, I would be less concerned...I think...no, I change my mind: I would be equally as concerned!
0 -
For those who have kindly inquired, yes I did finally reesign from the NGO I have volunteered for the last ten years. I did resing months ago but was persuaded to stay on for many reasons. I realize my heart is just not in it any longer. I still fully support the work of the mission.
Did you know that 13% of the children under 5 die before their 5th birthday? Usually from water born illness. we make bio sand water fi;lters, in HAiti usiing all Haitian workers We subsidize their sale and sell them for $5.00 they last something around twhenty years with no new materials needed. They work better the older the innards are. The organization is Clean Water For Haiti.org if you go to the web site many of the photos are ones I took. So while my heart isn't in board work my passion will remain with the Haitian people who have been dealt one horrible blow after another.
So now I need to see where I will fit into this life of mine in a new or different way.
Hugs GInger
0 -
Lizzy - please keep us posted.0
-
Lizzy: So sorry to hear! What is the next step? I can't believe you have to play that waiting game again, that sucked! I am sending prayers your way!
Ginger: I saw a piece on 60 Minutes about that. It really is a shame that children die from something that is so easily fixed. That is very valuable work they are doing there, and you should be so proud to be a part of it, in anyway! I am sure you will find a way to fit Haiti in to your life in some way, anyone can hear your passion and love for the people of Haiti in the way you talk about the cause.
Debbi
0 -
Debbi - You are so awesome with your running!!0
-
Lizzy, we must have cross posted I did not see your post. Please keep us up to date and tell us what you need from us. We love you.I love you.
Ginger
0 -
Thanks, guys. That area has an SUV of 4. Above 2.5 is not good news generally. I am not petrified, however. I will take it as it comes. In fact, I am pretty sure that is ALL I can do!!!!
What really pisses me off is that breast is FULL of rocks it seems. All this crappy tissue from that recon attempt and recently I felt a "ball" among the rocks but you can never tell. You know how scary it is to be walking around with a left breast pocket filled with masses that feel like rocks when you were a non-radiated Stage IIb? You almost feel like you are waiting for mets. What a mess!
0 -
Ginger: it is a world of human wreckage. That is an absolute travesty that dirty water is killing people. When I was a teenager I was watching CNN with my mother and I asked her why people were dying of no/dirty water when they were surrounded by it. Of course she talked to me about desalinisation and all the other associated components of this somewhat complex problem (she had an IQ of like 164!) and I just found it unfathomable that the ocean water could not be cleaned up and used. In any case, you were doing God's work and I am so happy they had you for the period of time that you were available to help. I think you gave it your all while you could. You have to be a bit more concerned with yourself now. It is a humongous tragedy, though. How could this be?0
-
Ginger: I missed my point, not like my mind is not on other things (!), but a woman my mother knew had a beach house and she had fought with the municipality about running municipal down there yearround. She got nowhere with them so what she did was put in a well, and she got the water cleaned up and lived down there all year. I mean she went to San Diego part of the year but that house had water year round and, if memory serves, it cost her less than $5k to do this. Why, pray tell, can this not be done everywhere? It is sad.0
-
Lizzie..Keep us posted on the PET scan. I haven't had a PET scan before...they don't use them very regularly in Canada..use more the CT/MRI scans.
We finally got snow here...strange in winter not to have snow...kids are all surprised. They are missing going sledding. We are hopefully heading away in early April for a big family trip somewhere warm. We will be going with my in-laws. As you guys may remember, my MIL is stage 4 colon cancer and the Doc said to us that this may be the last time she will be able to go on vacation. She doesn't really want to go--she is scared to stop the palliative chemo that she does every two weeks. She thinks that if she stops--the cancer will grow faster. Palliative chemo is starting to take a toll on her so hopefully, she will agree to the break and we will all head somewhere warm.
Debbie--Congrats on the running. Pre-cancer, I was running about 3 times per week and joined a "learn to run" program and ran a couple of 5km. Never very fast but had a great sense of accomplishment in finishing. I am on the treadmill most nights trying to get my fitness level back up. Hopefully, I will join you at some point!
0 -
Lizzy I am so sorry!!!! I always forget to check pm's b/c I don't use them, so I just saw yours. I feel terrible that I missed it. That just makes no sense. Please send me another to let me know if you have made any headway. We've had alot going on with Aidan, and he's at bball practice with dh so I just checked in and am shocked. I can't believe that you have all of this going on.
Carolyn
0 -
Lizzy, just read up on a bunch of past posts and wanted to check in. You've got such a great attitude Lizzy and I'm not sure exactly what a PET scan covers. Do you have to do an MRI now, extra tests? Like Rachel said we don't really use PET scans up here. Whatever the case is you don't need this level of stress, sorry to hear you're going through it. And on a completely different note...I hear ya about Whitney Houston. She was constantly on my Walkman.:)0 -
Lizzy sorry to hear about your scan results... ANd you're right nothing we can do, i love your attitude. Countless times i have come to the boards and ound strength in what you wrote, only wishing i could do the same for you.
Hopefully if it is back its still localized and you can do Rads to put your mind at ease.
Went to the internist today he thinks its pleural effusion. I had xrays and blood work and will see him on Wed. Also antibiotics and steroid (hopefully i dont gain weight LOL)
Whitney Houston- my heart broke to hear that she had died. Waiting to exhale is my all time favorite movie!!! I grew up listening to her music it is so sad the way her life turned out. I might just be calloused because of dealing with people in my family having drug addictions. Honestly I feel that she had "died" when she couldnt shake her addiction. My youngest sister is a heroine addict and its hard for me to think of how sick she has become. She actually showed up at the hospital high and left early to score WHILE my dad was still cohearant. So anyhow one night (about 2 years ago) after calling every hotel, motel, hospital and jail in her area looking for her cuz i hadn't heard from her in months i realsied to me the sister i had know had died, whats left of her is no where near her old self. She did get clean for 2 months but relapsed this past october. So in my very humble and honest opinion the Whitney we all loved and knew was long gone before her passing.
It just makes me sick that all these people go onto national tv talking about how last week she looked messed up- Yet they didnt care enough to do anything about it then- only when its too late do they same a dang thing.
0 -
Hello Canada! Sweeny and Rachel: thank you both so much. Just to bring you up to speed, PET scans are done using radioactive sugar, really, because cancer loves sugar. What happens is every cell will only metabolize sugar at a certain rate, period. Cancer cells, however, metabolize sugar 200%+ faster than normal cells. Therefore, any signs of "uptake" on the radioactive sugar is normally indicative of recurrence/mets. Now this is not always the case. If your values are 2.5 or less, you can rest that it is probably something else. If, however, your uptake value is above that (mine is 4.0), the chances it is benign in a person who had a IIb bc to begin with wane. There is absolutely NO reason cells in that breast pocket should be uptaking glucose so voraciously. They said it is inside the breast which is even worse. If it was surface, again, I could rest a bit. Oh well...what is a girl to do?
Texas: a cousin was a really bad addict. They become 100% drug and 0% the person we used to know. That stuff literally rolls through their veins like blood and takes them over. You can't even trust them. He was forbidden to visit our house. It is so hard to deal with but eventually they are gone. They are just not long for this world. He died 13 years ago at the ripe old age of 29. You have a beautiful family and much to live for and for this reason, you really have to focus on yourself. My brother and I tried to "help" our cousin to absolutely no avail and to my father's horror. All he did was steal from us and he also used my brother's name when he was involved in some nefarious activity in NYC. Perhaps it would have been ok if my brother was not in the Navy and was dragged out by MPs. He had to hire a lawyer etc... to clear his name. In long, Tex, protect yourself. Everyone that is talking about how they knew Whitney was a mess are as helpless as you to get your sister on the right path and as I was with my cousin. It hurts but these drugs take them over. I understand everybody that says they could not help her. Did you see the interview on Nightline? She was really pissed that Diane Sawyer suggested she was using crack and started in about how she made so much money and crack is cheap, "crack is whack" etc... it was really sad. She wanted to let the world know her money bought her the best, most expensive drugs out there. A total travesty. I feel for her daughter. Can you imagine what it was like having her sing you bedtime songs?! I am still sad over it, though. It is just so sad.
In any case, as for me I think biopsy is next. I will know more in the next few weeks. Cancer is an albatross!!!!!!
0 -
Lizzy- to clarify i meant the people that DO NOT personally know Whitney Houston but "saw her at an event" and how they thought there was something going on with her. Well in a lot of addicts cases intervention is the key- all these monday night quarterbacks discussing hat they dont know.
Oh yeah we have to keep my dad's morphine (liquid kind) under lock and key and also i kept my muscle relaxers in my purse and slept with it because i couldnt trust her....
Unfortunately due to her drug habit she is the only one that isnt working and can spend time with my mom at her home.
I remember that interview and its sad how they reason with their choices (like chosing coke over crack) my sister would say all the time before she got hooked onto heroin "well at least i am not sticking needles in my arm" as if smoking crystal meth is any better.... Its just their thought process.
0 -
Good morning warriors!
Tex: You know, it is funny, someone said just about that exact same thing on MSNBC. Her poor daughter. This is going to bother me for a while. When River Phoenix, much for the same reason, passed away it bothered me for a while also. Meanwhile, here we all are fighting for our lives.
Ckptry: How is Aidan? I hope all things are getting better for you. Sorry, I missed your post last night!
Good day, all...of to the post office for some more expensive shipping!
0 -
An anecdote on "act as if!"
Recently a group in Greenwich won like $250mil in one of these lottery drawings (I forget which one). Now, there was another huge winning ticket sold in Newport, RI. About 5 years ago a whole bunch of people I knew in Fairfield County were going bananas over "The Secret." Even though the author has now been vilified over the "sweat lodge" incident, I think he was on to something! Wicked wealthy people are winning (presumably in the case of RI as Newport is replete with mad wealth!) huge sums of money. My feeling is that perhaps Rhonda Byrne et al. were on to something with their espousing the laws of attraction!
How will this work for us?! Act "as if" we have good health and perhaps that will attract our good health!!!!!!!!! This is not very analogous because money-follows-money is the antithesis of health-follows-*us* but if we "act as if" we have good healthy already....well, it is better than not doing this!!!
0 -
Lizzy and friends I started a topic titled "I think my housekeepers are stealing". I would love your insights on reasonable and prudent actions. Frankly it scares me.
Ginger
0 -
Liz, I sent you a pm Carolyn
0 -
Ckptry: thank you so much. I just woke up as I fell asleep around 9:30 for the first time in a long, long time. Of course my body woke me for the evening series of hot flashes that will keep me up until 5! I am going to try to go back to sleep as I need the rest. My sleep has been awful due to these hot flashes for months now.0
-
Lizzy - did you ever try an old fashioned antihistamine like chlortrimeton (make you drowsy) and 3 mg of melatonin before bed.? That helped me to get into sleeping 2 hours in a row.0
-
Act as if- I think that might really work- especially in the good health area, just me for example i have never acted as if i were sick even though sometimes i surely felt it and i have had clear scans for what- 9 months now???? Power of positive thinking
I am going to act as if i am filthy rich now LOL
Ginger- Started reading that thread- hmmm i wouldnt put it past anyone. My father weas travleing and has meds taken from his checked luggage when it went through the bag check.
Omaz- is that over the counter? I have probs sleeping too. I actually fell asleep in my drs office exam room yesterday LOL
Oh yeah and UPDATE!!! So i went back to the dr and its not pleura effusion, but my pleura and bronchi do show signs of hardening. My doc says prob due to the radiation. He took me off the antibiotics, put me onto a steriod inhaler for a 2 month trial to see if that helps with my shortness of breath. SO here's hoping!!!! I told him THATS THE BEST NEWS I'VE HEARD ALL WEEK!
Sweeny- Nice to hear from ya!!! Walkman- so funny i always associate that with a cassette player type which i DID have and New kids on the block was what i played mostly (i actually still have that tape!) But recently i bought a sony mp3 player/recorder that they still call a walkman....
later ladies! Enjoy the day ahead!
0
