August 2010...anyone starting chemo besides me?!
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Oh, I forgot to tell you all, I DID make it to my symphony concert on Sunday, and just had the best time. I've really bee having a hard time with se's, but I just loaded myself up on meds, and said, "To hell with how my body feels, I'm going to go and have a good time!" It was a beautiful concert. A very "Chicago" event. Everybody had these little white flags that said "Welcome, Muti!" on them (Muti is the new maestro, and this was his debut performance with the CSO), and when he came to the stage, EVERYBODY stood up and clapped and cheered and waved their flags. Millennium Park was absolutely crammed, standing room only around the outside borders of the lawn, and there was such an intimate, shared feeling of excitement and pride. It really felt like an historic even, and it was. I am actually proud of myself that I made it. We've had to cancel so many things we had planned because I was too sick to go -- just last month we had to miss a Renee Fleming concert, the tickets for which I had paid dearly! And it really felt good that I was able to make it to this. I had been looking forward to it for a long time. I paid for it a little the next day, but it was totally worth it. I hope that my experience may motivate others to take some risks once in a while and make themselves do the things they really want to do -- so long as it's possible and safe -- because, even if you have to turn around and come home ten minutes after you get there, you'll still be glad you went.
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My LITTLE JOYSTARS!!!!! It is sooo good to hear from you! I am glad you are doing well and it is almost baby time
When you start chemo come back to this thread. I am on until late December, another threader is on until Jan and a lot of us have rads and/or split tx schedules so you are more than welcome, missy! I love your avatar! It is exactly what I would picture a woman with the name of Joystars to look like! I am so glad you stopped by. I will PM and please update with all that is going on with you right here on this thread. Keep in touch! Wherria: I LOVE the symphony! I just love it. NHSO benefits so much from existing in the shadows of Yale, it is amazing. I have not been since last year. I am so glad you went and had a nice night. It is good for the soul
I also like the opera. I try to get to the Met at least once per season. One of my favorite things in the universe are the holiday concerts. I live for that! As for hotflashes, there is upside there as well - that is how I found my Gatorade fridge packs in Walmart!!! I was in the midway, had to pause for a luscious hot flash and found my hand resting on Gatorade fridge packs! I would have walked right by if it weren't for the hot flash! Acne: you can add this to my list of humorous SE's!!!!!!! Yeah!
Off to bloodwork...I blew it off yesterday!!!!!
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Wherria: one more thing - my motto: you don't regret the things you DID DO but rather you regret the things you did not do. You are absolutely correct: everyone should get out and do the stuff they want to, as long as it is safe, even if they do have to leave prematurely, they still WENT. It is 1/2 art, 1/2 science: we need rest but we still need to be doing things also.
Rancho Fiesta mix: for those of you who live in the Northeast and have access to Stop and Shop grocery stores, there is a frozen mix with an assortment of beans, broccolli and some red pepper. For anyone with the refusal-to-be-regular (!) issue, you can pop this in the micro with a little garlic or onion salt and it is really tasty. It is also so completely chock full of fiber even 1/2 cup will be nutritionally jam-packed and it could not be easier. All things to consider
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Wherria and Lizzy You are both so right about just getting out and doing stuff. When I am sitting in my house feeling crummy, the idea of going anywhere seems overwhelming. But we just don't really know what we are capable of until we do it. I managed to make it in to work this afternoon and just had a nice chat with a co-worker that really helped lift my spirits. I think Lizzy said it perfectly "it is 1/2 art, 1/2 science: we need rest but we still need to be doing things also." I was not able to find that balance on Monday when I almost threw up in the trash can at work but today I seem to be managing better. Also I am not really caring about my bald head so much any more, I was wearing a hat when I came in but then of course I got hot so I took it off and I just sort of don't care who sees me with my patchy spiky hair. Mostly I just don't want to have to explain it so I'm hoping my boss has already told everyone. Anyway, wherria I'm glad that you were able to enjoy the concert and I hope your mouth sores go away soon!
Also just wanted to share that when I am having trouble eating one thing that helps me get calories in is making smoothies with Carnation Instant Breakfast packets. Of course you can also make smoothies without those but the packet alone adds something like 130 calories and 10 grams of protein or something like that. Anyway, here are a couple of recipes I am enjoying: 1 vanilla packet, 3/4 cup milk, 3/4 cup yogurt, a few frozen strawberries, mix up in blender. Also 1 chocolate packet, 2 or 3 scoops vanilla ice cream, 3/4 cup milk, one spoonful peanut butter - in this one the peanut butter boosts the protein and calories and also makes it a yummy peanut butter & chocolate flavor.
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Totally agree on the 1/2 art 1/2 science thing- today I felt like crap. Yesterday I felt like crap. But yesterday I didn't do anything. I sat around and watched tv. Today I've built a mobile out of maple twigs and green felted leaves. It's nothing special. No one would look twice at it on Etsy.com but I made it and occupied my mind and my hands.
I've hung it in my "girl fort". Don't think I've explained this before. When I got cancer I took a very underused piece of my house, a small sun room attached off the front of our master bedroom and made it "mine". I put all my favourite books, knick knacks and artwork. Added a very comfortable reading chair, a small side table and a lamp and VOILA a special place for me to get better. Has anyone else done this? Taken a special place and made it their own? Whether knowingly or just by virtue of always ending up there. My husband coined the term "Girl Fort", but it's stuck. It's small, yellow, full of sun and windows and now has my new mobile in it. It has saved me today. I don't think I"ll be full of tears and pissed-offedness this evening.
Perhaps just my weird musings.....
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Sweeney - is there a little flowering plant in the fort?0
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The Girl Fort most decidedly has a flowering plant. A bright red geranium.
It also has a hooked rug on the wood floor, several carved little wooden birds from travels with work, there are paintings of japanese gardens (found at the coolest second hand store ever) and spring flowers on the wall and a banner from my daughter reading, "I love you Mom". If I could, I would never leave. Some days I never do.:)
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Lizzie---Justin Bieber as the best thing that Canada has created---eeekkk---Let's say: 1) Socialized medicine 2) Peacekeepers 3) Nice people ....... I could go on but it might make you jealous
I agree with you all--you just have to get out and do something--makes you feel better--you can always come home early.
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Best things ever created by Canadians- buttertarts.
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Sweeney and Rachel: 90% of my writing is totally in jest!!!! I would toss Bieber back and take you 2 any day!!!!!!!! I just tease you two whenever I get a chance and, no, I don't think Bieber is the greatest thing Canada produced!!!! I told my friend Greg you guys were taking me seriously and I think he peed his pants a little bit laughing!!!!!!!!!! I love to tease you Canucks and, you know, you think I would have learned from Sarah Palin to NOT to mess with hockey moms! More jokes!
JSW: first, I have got to give you a lot of credit for even GOING to work. It is very nice that your employer works with you as well. Don't put pressure on yourself about work now. Use the time you have to rest and recover. Also, GNC makes a protein mix that is very high in protein and calories. You might have to do a e GNC for a little while. How I use the protein powders is use strawberries or bananas in the blender with milk and the powder. It comes out really good. I hope you check them out. It is pretty expensive for the big jug but I think they have smaller ones. You might want to check online at GNC. JSW-I just had an epiphany: cute as you are, perhaps you can score an endorsement for yourself like "bc made me my stomach so upset I could not eat BUT NOW, thanks to HAGEN DAZS (insert co name!) and 6 SCOOPS OF per day of (heavenly flavor) taken every day with (secret powder!), I have been able to maintain my weight etc.." You could get an ICE CREAM endorsement!!!! Lucky for you guys my brain never stops!!!!!
Sweeney: A GIRL FORT!!!!!! I love it!!!!!! It sounds like a lovely place to read and relax. What a great idea. I love the mobile idea also. That just sounds beautiful. All you need is NPR and a good book! Speaking of making girl forts, my space GREED got worse today and now, thanks to HGTV, I am planning to make a spare room a CLOSET!!! Clearly not a "girl fort" but my kind of fort just the same!
Notes to self: send hate TWEETS to Kardashian to stay away from Biebers (he he he!!!) and be sure to spray paint circle-and-slash on TORONTO Blue Jays cap to wear to Yanks game tomorrow night!!!!! Even though Yanks are playing D Rays, it is always a good time to send a message to those silly little birds in Toronto!!!!
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A little off topic, I know, but is any one up to the part where they have inquired about the onc follow ups? How often, what tests and so on.......
Mine said I would come in 4 weeks after chemo, and then every 3 months there after. Tests would consist of a chest xray every 6 months unless some problem/symptom appeared. I thought he said something about bloodwork at the check up, but did not write that down, so not sure if he really said it.....
(But doctor, all my friends are getting *fill in blank*)
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Sternum and rib pain - anyone else? Owie! I had noticed it after the first chemo but now here I am 10 days out of chemo and it's still hurting. I notice it when I press anywhere on my rib cage especially in the middle. Is it from the neulasta shot? This many days later? Massage almost feels "good"-----but definitely sore. I laughed hard in the car today and it was MAJOR owie!! I'm so upset - now I can't even laugh?? ACK!
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Calamtykel - did you call the onc office about it?0
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I have been lurking in the corner reading how everyone is doing. Really havent felt up to responding, but have been thinking about everyone, and sending out prayers. My 2nd chemo was worse than the 1st, and I just dont want to go Friday for my 3rd. Im tired of feeling like I have been run over multiple times. Barely have the energy to drag myself to work everyday and home and then do school work. Everything I eat feels like it is just not being digested and floating around in my bloated stomach. I was so constipated this past week, that I had to give myself a enima. And wanted to scream everytime I went to the bathroom for days after. Yeah how fun is that. And yes I have stuff to help keep me regular, and have been eating foods to help, but they didnt work. Better now, but I am leary on eating anything. The heartburn and indigestion on top of it makes me want to be sick. And smells are killing me. And to top it all off, literally, I went and took a shower Friday (yes I take them regularly) and didnt pay any attention to the shower, just was enjoying the hot water. Got out, dried off, and low and behold, all the hair on the top of my head and I mean just the top of my head was gone. I had hair on the sides and back, but nothing on top. So I ended up having to shave what little bit of hair I had left off. Thanks for letting me rant.
JSW - have you asked the dr's about Aloxi... they gave it to me at my 2nd chemo and it helped with the nausea some, they also gave me Ativan. This was all on top of the decadron, zophran (think that was wha it was), and the Emend.
Lizzy - yes the constant tasting of food to find something that tastes anything like it is suppose to sucks. Oh yeah also, the nails growing... could it be that you are taking in more calcium than you had before. More milk, the protein powder, boost, etc? I know that makes my nails grow like crazy and also makes them stronger.
Wherria - I was very glad to hear that you went to your concert, I can just imagine all those people there with their white flags waving, sounded like a wonderful time.
Calamtykel - I have not had pain up that high with the Neulasta shots, mine has been mostly lower back, hip, and legs. Definitely call the dr.
Lisaattheshore - I have asked and was told not to worry too much right now, since I still have to see the rad onc dr, and go through a year of Herceptin. Alot of people get full body scans and all sorts of other things, I was told I prolly wouldnt get those. I was kinda worried about not cause of the lymph node involvement, but then again, I am trusting that they know what is best.
Texas - I agree with everyone's advice, get off Facebook or however it is that you are getting this information. You dont need the stress, anxiety, mental battle that you are being put through. You have more important things to do then give what energy you have to that situation. I am soo sorry that you are having to deal with it though.
Well I wish you all SE free days. I'll hop back on later and lurk. Hugs to all.
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Yikes, Kimmie, how many more to go?
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Calamtykel: I've had major rib pain too, and my onc nurese told me it was from the Neulasta shot, and yes it lasted a long time.
Sweeney: Your fort sounds nice. When my husband and I move into our house we each claimed a room for ourselves. There's the Whitney Room and the Brian Room. He hasn't finished with his yet, but I did. Put in new carpet, lots and lots of book shelves, a comfy sofa, a stereo, table, lots of pictures of family and friends, mementos and gifts given to me by the churches I've served, new curtains (my room also gets a lot of sun, and it looks out onto the stream that runs along our property and all the ducks and geese and other wildlife -- this year a family of groundhogs). I love it. I sit in there to read, meditate, nap, quilt, knit, draw, write... Brian's room is completely different. Mine is peaceful and beautiful, his is starkly colorful with his vinyl collection (big collector), and tons of props and keepsakes from movies, TV shows and commercials he's worked on (he's an art director). The closet door he's built to look like the door to a bank vault, and that's where he keeps his record collection (mostly Led Zeppelin -- he's been a fan since he was a teenager, and just recently art directed the new Robert Plant music video "Angel Dance"). Our rooms couldn't be more different, but we both love them. It's really cool to have your own space.
Lizzy: A spare room turned closet sounds great!
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Sweeney: What are buttertarts? Sounds yummy. Your girl fort made me think of Virginia Woolf's story, A Room of my Own, which as I remember it from college (a loooonngg time ago) has as it's premise that if women just had their own space, we would, basically, conquer the world.
Kimmie: Have you told your doc about your SEs? I had awful heartburn after my first treatment and they put me on Nexium, which has worked like a charm. There's usually no need to suffer, so long as you don't mind adding another pill to the mix.
Lisa: I haven't gotten that far with my doc yet. After driving myself nuts with research, worry and anxiety, I decided to try and chill and take this stuff one step at a time. Surgery, check. Chemo, check. Reconstruction next, then start worrying about follow up, etc. I just can't let myself get too far out into the future or I go a little nuts.
Glad some of you are getting out and doing some fun things. I've been tired and a little achey today, I imagine it's the neulasta. It hit me a week after last time. But it's not hurting like last time since I've stayed on the Zyrtec.
Speaking of our own space ... my DH just left to go to the movies with a couple of guys from work. I'm going to sit back, watch House Hunters, eat popcorn and enjoy my evening. Ahhhh....
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Lady - yeah I have told them, I have Prilosec for the heartburn, colace and something else to help with the constipation, and went out and bought benefiber chewy things also, lots of water. But still had the constipation. I was told one of the "more prominent" SE's was the constipation.
Taxol - someone was talking about starting this soon, I apologize for not remember who, but I had 16 wks of weekly Taxol and found it more manageable than this AC crap. The SE's I had on the taxol was some neuropathy in hands and feet (which is better now and I have been off of the Taxol since end of June), heartburn (which I am not sure was caused by the taxol or the steroids), and bone aches (mostly lower body).
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Lizzy Thanks for the tip on the GNC powder, I will have to look into that. There are some days where I just need to get calories however I can. Fortunately I think I turned the corner this afternoon, I made some hash browns and they were delicious! Then I had a hearty helping of chicken salad and a roll for dinner and I think I might make some more hash browns soon because they were just that yummy and I am finally enjoying food again! I love your idea about me being a spokesperson, who do I need to call about that? I am finding so far that getting back into the office helps me once I start feeling better but I have to wait and not push myself to go in before I am ready. After feeling so bad on Monday I stayed home all day yesterday and only went in for about 3 hours today and that was just right. I feel very lucky that my job is flexible and I am able to go in for a little while, do a little socializing, a little work, and then come back home. Oh and by the way I totally think a room sized closet counts as a girl fort.
kimmie Glad you came out of lurking to post but I'm sorry to hear things have been so rough for you! I too am dreading treatment #3, just thinking about it makes me nauseated again. I have 4 AC then 4 Abraxane and I am REALLY hoping that what they say is true about AC being the worst and Abraxane will be better. Anyway, from Lizzy's list at the top it looks like you are also on AC and it is rough but at least you are halfway through. Do you have a prescription for something for the heartburn/indegestion? I got a prescription after my first treatment (I forget the generic name but the brand is Protonex or something like that, the generic name is really long) and I still had some heartburn/indegestion this time but better than the first treatment.
Sweeney A girl fort sounds great! Your room sounds wonderful and I am glad you have been able to find such a great place for healing and recovery.
And wherria your Whitney room sounds great too! You said you knit - what kind of things do you like to knit? I knit myself a bunch of soft cotton caps to wear over my bald head but my favorite things to knit are sweaters and cardigans.
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I stumbled across this poem today and it's just too good not to share
Be Cancer Fabulous, by Titi Sonuga
Be cancer fabulous
Be bruised, battered but never broken down fabulous, just be
Carve a space in this world big enough to love yourself in
Even as they carve through your chest, pump through your veins
Wrap you in gauze, wrap yourself in this
Cloak yourself in this, hold it up like a shield against your heart
Impossible means nothing to you
See, when the odds were 1 in 10, 1 in a 100, 1 in a 1000, you were that 1
The one who clung to life when it was easier not to
Dragged yourself off bathroom floors, wiped the tears from your eyes
Last nights food from your mouth and did the impossible
Refused to lie down and give up, surrender or retreat
This is what beautiful looks like
It is raw and uncovered, it is bald and stunning, it is twisted and tangled
It is a crooked line of scars criss-crossing towards a heart big enough to love a nation
This is what beautiful looks like
It is what exists when we are broken down past ego or understanding
When we are faced with a body that sends distress signals in the form of a painless lump
When we are forced then to cling to a spirit that refuses to give up
This is what beautiful looks like
So you bear your scars for us to look upon
So we can trace them like maps towards our own understanding
You remind us that there is no treatment for your smile
There is no prescription for laughter, there is no cure for love
You remind us what it means to be truly beautiful0 -
Ladyinbama--that's just what I did....check, check, check, and I am right there, with my last chemo Sept 30 and exchange surgery mid-October.
I found the exchange thread.....I can only quote someone who called it "war and peace", but don't see one just about follow up care, although that of course is a topic through out many, many threads.........I suppose there is no standard....
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CALAMTYKEL- (at least I think it was you!!) I've had continuous pain in my sternum and ribs with Neulasta and my oncologist even named the Sternum as the place where it might hit hardest. So hopefully that will put your mind at ease until you can talk to yours. But I'm pretty sure what you're experiencing is totally normal.
Will post again later on buttertarts and the importance of girl forts.....:)
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KATHERINEN - great poem. thanks.
Kimmie I have have tx #3 AC and yes it is a hard regime. my WBC's got too low the last two times and I had to go to the ER with a fever then home with cipro. This week I have a cold so my 4th and final AC is postponed until next week
I will be starting taxol for 12 weeks after AC. I have had upper body pain the last two tx and NP said it was newlasta SE.
I too have to lurk and skim through many posts but I hope everyone is getting the strength they need from this group to continue.
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Follow ups: the only one who talked to me so far was the BS and she said 4 months and then 1 year. Honestly, I like my docs but the sooner I don't have to see any of them anymore, the better!!!! I can't wait to put this behind me. I think, based on a friend who had c that I work with, it is all bloodwork post-chemo and if they find something, they call you. I do believe the flups with oncs are quarterly. I cannot wait until the only doc I see is my GP, who I love dearly, and who I miss but with all these other doc visits, I want to avoid going to yet another doc's office at all costs. He is the reason why my bc was ever found. He would not take no for an answer regarding my wanting to avoid a mammogram!
Kimmie: my heart breaks for you. This disease, if it does not kill you, it makes you stronger. It seems like everything can totally come undone and then come right back together all at once. You have so much to deal with teaching and homework..it is a lot. A real lot when you are dealing with chemo as well. I give you a lot of credit but more importantly I wish you some peace.
I had the heartburn business also. I never had heartburn in my life, btw, but did take Zegrid OTC and it worked perfect. Also, cold milk worked great. I hope you feel better soon.
Why is it I feel like us, the women on the boards who have bc, and the people that treat us are on another planet?! Today I was talking to one of the nurses about how long I can/should take Claritin after Neulasta to manage bone pain and she looked at me and said she never heard such a thing. I told her myself and all the girls who have bc swear by Zyrtec and Claritin etc.. to alleviate Neulasta bone pain and she said no. She said she heard of people taking it for sniffles and runny/watery eyes but never to alleviate bone pain?! Are we creating the equivalent of urban myths on these boards or is the medical community out-of-touch and/or unwilling to acknowledge our unorthodox practices? It is weird.
Are there any other eye-talians (!)/folks that like a good red sauce out there?! they told me I could not eat sauce or that I should avoid it. Well, I promise you, there is one thing I make very well and do like to make is sauce. I make chicken cacciatore, manicotti, stuffed shells, lasagna, veg lasagna, ravioli etc.. and I did not want to give it up. Tonight I decided, as this is day 9 including the day of tx, I would try some sauce. I am wondering if you all have eaten sauce and, if so, if you had any SEs. I know we are all different etc.. but was just wondering.
JSW: call Ben and Jerry's and tell them you have bc, are on chemo and the only thing you can eat is their ice cream! You might an opp to do a commercial OR a case in the mail!?! Who knows?! Everyone wants to give to/sponsor bc in some way. You might get your own flavor!
KatherineNaomi: that was a great poem, thank you. BTW, and sadly, the odds on bc are now 1 in 8. Scary.
Calamtykel: they warned me of the potential for sternum pain. I have not had it but they did tell me ribs, sternum, hips and long bones of legs and arms. They repeated that sternum thing, however. I am sorry you are having so much pain. Claritin does not help you? I took the 24 hour dose and I have not had any pain at all.
Sweeney: that is the important stuff: butter tarts and girl forts! I am looking forward your later posts
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Did A/C # 3 today. Had some problem with my vein blowing (I don't even know what that means except the nurse had to find another one). So now my hand is a bit bruised and I have the exhaustion/chemo fog settling in. But my onc said I was the poster child for getting through this (still working, taking care of my son and going to the gym most days). Of course I'm doing all of this at a really slow speed and don't feel particularly effective at any of it. But it does keep me from feeling sorry for myself which I would if I were home all the time. So the onc thinks based on this that I will breeze through the Taxol. I hope so.
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Kimmie: the nail drama with me goes way back! Nailtiques, regular manis, painting, special files, and I even went to the equivalent of a nail whisperer (don't ask!) once in NYC! I lifted weights seriously for many years so I am not new to protein powders, calcium and supplements and these nails have always been the weakest, gross mess ever. Ever. NOW I feel like I am growing Henkel knives out of my fingertips. The only thing that is new is bc and now chemo.
Personally I think they can learn something from my case. I think my hormones were blocked up somewhere and with the chemo, they have been set free and now my body is flowing again. I am serious when I tell you I think the only reason I have bc is because there was a block in my system somewhere and chemo has annihilated it. Of course, I don't have 10 degrees and 6 consonants after my name so what do I know!!!!
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On Buttertarts (Rachel can back me up on this...)- are the world's richest, gooiest food. It's a tart, filled with brown sugar, butter, raisins, vanilla and sometimes walnuts/pecans, all of this is baked to oozy perfection. Canada's addition to the culinary world. That and beavertails. But don't ask me how to make a beavertail.
On Canadian humour- (Rachel can probably back me up on this one too...)- there is almost no sort of humour a Canadian won't get. Don't forget we're the creators of Jim Carrey, Dan Aykroyd, Lorne Michaels, Stephen Colbert, Mike Myers, Eugene Levy, Will Arnett, Catherine O'Hara, Seth Rogan etc, etc. Humour is in our DNA!:) It has to be to live in this climate.
On Virginia Wolff- Thanks LadyinBama I'll have to look that story up. I really feel like my Girl Fort has been a big part of my recovery. There is something about a space that is one's own. Will download it onto my Kindle tonight.
On next steps with the Onco- I tried to ask this question at my last appointment but she basically laughed at me. I think she thinks I'm too Type A to begin with. I wanted to know and to map out my next 6-9 months and she was like, "let's just take it one step at a time...". So all I know is Rads next, then tamoxifen and then there was some discussion about losing my ovaries b/c of the estrogen receptors in my makeup.
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Lizzy, I am pretty sure that the onc visits go on forever. Just a question of how often. And what else they might chose to do while they have you in their clutches. The breast surgeon--I will see each 6 months. I understand that to be permanant as well. I am a uni, maybe if you did a double you wouldn't see the breast surgeon any more? My understanding is that they still can and should check the skin, chest wall, nipple if you kept some, etc.
And the food instructions you got--and others too it sounds like (!) -- I got no discussion like that at all. They seemed more concerned that I might stop eating or something (!?) (not likely!) I even asked, and the response was 'just make sure you eat and drink', and 'have what you can tolerate'. There is one nurse who phrases her question "Did you eat every day". This might make sense for peope who were losing a lot of weight, or were sick, etc. I have not lost or gained anything. Why on earth would it not be ok to have tomato sauce? Could it be upsetting to the stomach? Like heartburn or something? I don't eat tomatoes, so have not had sauce, but also havent ad the bad SEs that so many have had either. Please share if you find out! I am fascinated by this!
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No, I haven't called the onc's office - I figured the pain was from the shot since I think some of you were saying something similar. I just hadn't really noticed it since I have been sore from the stupid port so I attributed it to that, but then I realized it was all my ribs everywhere and in the center. Yes, I'll mention it when I go for my chemo. Just looking forward to all of this being done. Between that and beating down the migraine's this week for some reason, I'm just hoping for a good rest-of the non-chemo week. Then Monday is AC #4. Yikes!
Lizzy - I sort of know what you mean. Not saying that chemo doesn't have horrendous side effects to the body, but today, 9 days after chemo, I don't know where my energy is coming from. I was up half the night - just not tired. Then today I've been running like crazy doing one thing and another - I'm not even tired and it's nearly 10 pm. I took a long walk this morning and worked up a great detox sweat and ran a bunch of errands, went on a trek to Trader Joe's an hour away and shopped with all four kids, came home, did dinner, worked on some doll repair orders I have here for two customers and vacuumed the house and cleaned my bedroom which was a gigantic mess. And now I'm sitting here wondering how and if I'm going to be able to sleep tonight.
It's very strange. I have more energy and feel better today then before chemo started. We'll see how tomorrow goes. I'm finding that I'm trying to catch up on everything that I CANNOT do on the chemo weeks.
I had a talk with my nutritionist yesterday - poured my heart out that I was terrified that I'm doing long term damage to my body and organs with chemo. I know he is very anti-chemo-- but he told me to stop thinking like that right now - that the body can repair itself and it can rebuild itself. I do believe him - I had horrendous symptoms with lyme disease three years ago; spots in my vision, dizziness, nausea, constant aches and pains, night sweats and heart palpitations and skips. When he handled the lyme using a variety of herbal supplements and diet, I got healthy again. I think if I can recover from systemic lyme, I can rebuild after chemo too! I'm just trying to hold onto that when I get scared about the entire thing.
Meanwhile, his advice to me is always "tons of raw veggies". I just can't do it - I get to the point to where if I look at one more salad I'm ready to puke. However, he suggested the blender - tonight I threw baby spinach and wild blueberries in the blender with some water. Honestly it was NOT bad - it was actually pretty good! And since I'm sick of drinking water, this was a nice alternative. He pushes kale for cancer - even in the blender if necessary, so that will be the next thing. I figure lots of greens are awesome too for rebuilding all those red blood cells too! He suggested apples as a detoxifying fruit - he said he didn't care if I ate four or five a day - they have powerful detoxifying properties (the hard sour ones like the Granny Smith).
Well, I'm hoping for some sleep tonight. I'm debating taking something to help, but since I don't know where the migraines that keep reappearing are coming from, I'm trying to stay off of meds as much as possible on the non chemo weeks!
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Lisaattheshore: I think maybe it is the hopsital? Maybe they are just thorough? I though lycopene helps us?! I ate sauce tonight and I think I am still ok?! Who knows.
Sweeney: as I rewrite "Canadian Bacon" for this bc thread you and Rachel's new code names are: buttertart and beaver tail!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just talk amongst yaselves about who gets what!!!!
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