You know youre a cancer patient when....
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survivor - me too. Literal LOL sitting at my desk. The halloween costume choices threw me over the edge!
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That fentanyl patch would have been fantastic during neulasta. I thought natural childbirth was difficult. Neulasta was a very close second. I also tried tylenol alternating with ibuprofen. Not much help. Glad to know I wasn't alone.
Elizabeth
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I personally like "spider baby" from toy story.
Thinking I could totally ROCK that look this fall!
Google that name for the image & have a laugh.
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survivor11 - LMAO!!! I thought about Queen Nefertiti, could definitely carry off this look bald.
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Glad you guys got a laugh, that's what it's all about.
Love the box of q-tips idea, that would be fantastic and spider baby-my 5 yr old would love it.
Just had to tell you all this cause I cracked myself up today. Was doing preregistration at the hospital for my exchange on Mon. Little older lady was doing my paperwork and she actually said, and I quote "So your having TE's replaced with implants. Now where will you be having this done?" In my head I thought, well I'm sitting here at the hospital aren't I, but instead I heard come out of my mouth, "In the parking lot". We both just sat their astounded, then she just went right on asking questions. I definantly think my humor has got to get back under control before I get back to work, or I really will be without a job.
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YKYACPW you read survivor11's post about her fuel pump going out on the interstate, and you think that she is talking about some new kind of port. Then you realize that she is talking about an actual fuel pump
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YKYACPW you feel a little down this morning and you turn to this thread to put a brighter theme to your day - thank you all ladies for bringing humour into my life today!!!
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Happy Friday, Ladies.
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dutchgirl-Lol. Yup, as in car fuel pump. Going to cost $500. YKYACPW you don't even care,. guess the medical establishment will have to chase me a little longer for their money.
Monty-glad your day is brighter. By the way you share of name of my cat and oncologist-just saying. Yes, I named the cat after my oncologist. It's better than what my BF calls him. Dr. Kavorkian-been calling him this since first chemo when I almost died from neutropenic spesis. Keep telling him it's not a good idea to call my oncologist Dr Kavorkian, kinda goes against what were are trying to do here.
...when you find yourself early on in your journey,reading the obituaries in the paper, just so you'll know a few people-sick I know.
...when you realize that you've been hit on my alot of men recently and start to think, hey I must be hot stuff, then you realize that it's sympathy flirting because of the cancer-bummer.
...when your kids can pick you out in a 2000 seat arena right away-your the only q ball that's there.
...when you pick up some pumpkins for Halloween and your 5 year old picks up a rather oblong one and says, "Mom this one looks like you"-going to have to look into adopting that kid out.
...when you've finally learned to embrace the cancer patient inside of you- you know as in people let you pass them in line at the grocery,they give you the best seat at the restaurant, you get out of traffice tickets(yes this happened), you have a bulit in excuse for being bitchy with your BF, your kids get a pass for bad behavior at school, etc, etc.
...when random elderly people stop you everywhere to tell you their praying for you-very sweet but secretly I think their just making sureyou have some friends in heaven cause your both closer to the pearly gates than the average joe-sorry I got pardoned-I know, sick.
...when your power breakfast has gone from coffee and a donut to, Miralax and a fist full of pills, protein bar and fentanyl patch.
...when people say, "you've gained some weight" and you don't want to punch them out.
...when you realize being yound and thin is not always a good thing, atleast not with BC.
...when people you bearly remember or didn't really like at all send you random cards, e-mails,texts like your BFF's-um, sorry cancer didn't change my oppinion of you.
...when you are your kids subject for "what did you do this summer"-my 10 year old made me go to school and just stood there and pointed at me when it was his turn, he thought he was being quite-little bugger.
...when your new fav costume idea for Halloween is to go as a whilly worm-since my hair is so black, I can wear a brown sweater and pants and find sure black fuzzy slippers.
..when your obsessing about what to wear to accompidate drains to a school function two days after surgery and it never dawns on you that maybe you should be more concerned about the pain-our pain thresholds have crazy ladies.
Hope you got a little laugh. Have a great Friday ladies.
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survivor - I have to meet you. How great it is to laugh! The obit one I thought was hysterical, so I'm sick too! Oh and no one has flirted with me since the dx, so I'm pretty sure that you really are still hot and it's not a pity flirt.
I asked my husband if he thought I could get away with just wearing a winter hat to Kings Island this weekend or does it make me look bald. My husband is struggling to find the right words, so my 8 year old jumps in..."it makes you look bald". Gotta love the honesty!
YKYACPW - you resort to the magnifying side of the mirror to check out your hair in the mornings. BTW it's much longer when you use that side!
YKYACPW - your biggest fear of the roller coaster is no longer plunging to your death, but instead that your wig will fly off into the face of the person behind you.
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bcisnofun-heck yeah, let meet when we get done recovery-that would be fun and I'm not that far away. Love the rollercoaster one, great Halloween trick-person will think it's your head instead of just your hair. If it does happen you can just get off the coast, grab your wig and say "I meant to do that".
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Survivor - you really need to do stand up comedy!
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YKYACP when the Red Cross doesn't want your blood.
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Badger, so very, very true! I used to get irritated that United Blood Services would call and be RUDE about making an appointment to donate... They made the mistake of calling right after my diagnosis, so I informed them WHY I wouldn't be donating... They actually sent me a letter telling me I CAN'T donate! LOL!
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YKYACPW you have a reverse tan on your radiated breast
- with 19 rads down and 14 to go, I've been lucky enough to just have a tan on the radiated breast, while the "normal" breast is still untouched by sun. So weird.0 -
How about when you go to the pool and see the guy who's manboobs are larger than your boobs are and wonder why he can go topless and you can't!
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YKYACPW your daughter asks if her friends can come over and you ask if that means you have to put your wig on.
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Kay1963: Love that one. I just had a holiday dinner for 14 and decided as they arrived to go au naturelle -- it was so much more comfortable for me and I think for them once they got used to my bald head. I often forget to put on a cap when delivery people come to the door. It's funny to see their faces.
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YKYACPW you're thinking that if you are ever going to be a "dancer", now is the time! I need no waxing. I could put on a sexy wig, and I still have my breasts. Surgery is a whole month away! My contract position ended and I still need the income. I am thinking I should embrace the opportunity! <sarcasm>
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Survivor: "the parking lot"---soooo cracked me up...in tears! Thanks.
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When you decide to save your hair as you shave it off because it will help to pull a great halloween prank on the older kids when your husband rips off your hair and you have tufts and fake blood underneath.
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..when your biggest concern the day before surgey is to decide what your going to write on your chest-do a good job, bite me, goodbye cruel world, think Dolly Parton, I want to work at Hooters, etc.
..when you get your pre-op instructions and are excited when it says you only have to do one enema (having ooph as well).
...when your pedicuries nearly cries tears of job when you show back up in his shop after 6 months.
...when it takes you a full hour to find your tweezers when your kid has a slinter-where the hell did I put those things.
..when you realize that your rubbing your own head whenever you get anxious, ala lovely blanket when you were a kid,
..when you actually find yourself contemplating saving the first boob hair you find on your newly reconstructed beast-I know that is sick as hell.
...when you think about buying yourself one of those baby books to document all your new firsts-aka boob hair, first time topless, last chemo,etc.
momoftwo526-So true
lwarstler-sick-love the idea.
..when your BF starts calling you by your screen name, since you identify with it more right now than you do to your "old" self.
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...when your x-mas list includes: hair (of course), squishy boobs, my two front nipples (thinking about replacing the words the the holiday song "all I want for x-mas are my two front teeth, my two front teeth...), to never ever ever have to dance with the "red devil" again (think I'm going to contact a priest about this one), to never again find my self on the sharp end of a portacath access needle, a trip to Mardi gra (to shot off new rack), to never have the word written about me, "Ms R is a pleasant 39 year old that present today with a recent diagnosis of IDC breast cancer..."
...when your considering taking a picture of your new squishy boobs in a red bra with the caption "ALL I WANT FOR X-MAS ARE MY TWO FRONT NIPPLES" and send them out as x-mas cards.
-when you've told your family to allot atleast 2 hours when it comes your turn at Thanksgiving to say all your grateful for this year.(can you say NED!)
...when you realize that when other woment hear about your diagnosis and say "Bless your heart", it sounds a whole like "Holy shit, I'm so glad it's you and not me".
..when you watch the movie "The Green Mile", and sooooooo wish there was a John Coffie in your neiborhood (if you don't get it, watch the movie, it's fab).
...when the smell of shaving cream makes you happy.
...when you can't wait to use a real hair brush instead of a buffer on your head.
...when you panic when you remember your BF/hubby is allergic to all nuts and you've been using almond oil to lube your head (yes, happened to me).
...when people tell you how brave and strong you are and your thinking, "I'm scared to death, it's the survival instinct taking over, if it were up to me I would have found the nearest rock to crawl under."
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...when you use to buy those packages of pink mushrooms, now I don't, i would rather give my $2.75, to BC.org, than make that 5% donation.
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YKYACAPW-------IGNORE THE BRAIN TUMOR DX'S SAME TIME AS BC B/C IT'S BEHAVING, THEN IT STARTS TO GROW AND YOU WONDER WAS THIS THE CHICKEN THAT STARTED IT ALL, OR IS THE EGG.
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SURVIVOR11--------you missed your calling or may be not b/c we are anonymous.-----Comedy based on irony
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Hey----------- May be we could put together the best of BCO and go on the road--------- Like THE VAGINA MONOLUGES.
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thanks SAS. I was thinking the same thing, that or a book.
...when you find yourself looking forward to doing the pre-op enema cause it means your alittle closer to surgery (yes had to do this tonight-what fun).
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Survivor 11 -----------God speed ---------good luck-------on the surgery. You won't likely see this before surgery. But If you are a prayerful person , you can ask the staff to pray with you before surgery. I was an old OR nurse. I always said a prayer(IF I forgot one time the lord will forgive me). Before surgery. Blessings sas
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Heck yeah Sas I'll see it, don't see much sleep in my near future.
I always prayed with my patients before surgery to, if they asked me to. My ministers usually show up for my surgeries, so thats a comfort.
A couple more for the road...
...when you realize how much easier it is to clean your bathroom floor without all the hair stuck to it.
...when your doing your mental pre-op check list for surgery 1)no stray hairs (on boob, face, nether region), 2)no smelly areas, 3)clean underwear and socks, 4)clean fingernails, 5) painted toenails, 6)no nasty cracked or scaly feet and most importantly 7)cute socks
...when after you've gotten ready in the bathroom and your make-ups all done you see little black hairs in the sink and freak (am I losing my eyelashes again) until you realize they are the little bristles from your blush brush.
...when your standing in your closet not trying to decide what outfit best shows off your figure, but what outfit best hides your bandages, drains, portacath, etc.
...when you've had so many surgeries recently that your friends and family have the rotation of dinners, car rides and housework schedule down like a military mission.
See ya soon ladies
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