You know youre a cancer patient when....
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I will never have a short hairdo again. I do not want to be reminded of my post-chemo hair either.0 -
my4ever,
Glad I'm not alone. So sorry we have to deal with this.0 -
YKYACP when the dentist is looking at you weird and you realize you are unbuttoning your top!!0 -
For my first dental appointment after chemo, I thought about what to wear that I could remove easily. Then I remembered that I kept my clothes on when I went to the dentist.0 -
LMFAO! It's just crazy how our perspective changes.
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YKYACP when you put on a shirt and you realize, as you flip your hair out from the under the collar, that you have that much hair again!0 -
Ykyacpw your children have been to so many appointments with you that they're shocked to get on the table at their well child appointments. My son was so excited for his turn.
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I'm not sure if that is funny or sad!0 -
YKYACPW you read the title of a thread and think, "hmm...I've been wondering about that, too," and only then notice that, yeah, its because you started the thread yourself less than a week ago. I'm trying to focus on the part where at least I didn't think, "what a stupid question," and not the part where I'm kind of losing my mind.0 -
when you type of FB that on Thanksgiving: Dinner is ready! The only thing I didn't cock was the turkey.0 -
And we'll all politely ignore that auto-spell/correct program that had you not cocking the turkey!! hahahahaha0 -
nope I actually typed Cock the turkey. ..that was chemo brain fart.0 -
LOL - hair - I live with my 85 year old mother who has dementia. My hair was always straight & came in curly after chemo. At least four times a day she says, "I'm always surprised when I see your hair and it's curly - how did you get it to do that?" Nothing like a constant reminder, mom.0 -
LOL. I get the hair comments, "Oh wow it grew back curly!" Ummm... I have had super curly hair since I was a baby... had these people never looked at me before chemo???
YKYACP when your kid cries about leaving the oncology office because he doesn't want to leave his "friends" (doctors/medical assistants/receptionists/etc.)! And when every single person knows not only your name but your kid's name, age, birthday, likes/dislikes, etc....0 -
This made my day! Thank you! I hope to contribute as I move through the process!0 -
Ha! I love all the comments as I 've been reading thru this and I am new here. Well you know your a cancer patient when you hear someone use the phrase "oh well stay positive" Well, excuse me, not really getting it at the moment, don't feel postive at all
Oceana
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This really isn't a YKYACP situation... but my sweet elderly mom was end-stage Parkinsons, with some occasional dementia. She had to be hospitalized several times. I was sitting by her bedside, holding her hand. She woke up with a bright smile on her face, looked at me, and said, "Oh, Honey - you're here! And you have a great big ol' moustache!"
Uh, thanks, Mom....0 -
Awww Blessings...out of the mouth of our demented parents!.....sigh.
I said something dumb myself years before I knew the breast cancer process. A quilter in my large guild went through chemo and her hair came back gloriously curly. I was in a small group with her when I met her and made the dumb comment "So that's what I have to do to get curly hair!", really mocking myself with my dead-straight droopy hair, but knowing now that it was a comment she had to swallow and move on with.0 -
Barbe - I think we have likely all "been there done that" - I know I have. A good reminder of how we don't really get it until we experience it.0 -
Totally agree with Barsco, Barbe, can't imagine any of us got to be this old without a tactless comment or two coming out of our mouths
It's a good reminder to be gentle with other tactless people, I guess.
So, did you at least get those nice curls when your hair grew back in?0 -
I feel kinda guilty that y'all are giving me a "free pass" on my comment! I have never forgotten that I said it, maybe it's time to forgive myself!! I didn't do chemo (masts instead and ER+) so I never did get the curls...sigh.0 -
barbe1958, there are many things I have said in life that when I think about it later bothers me. You can always "rectify it" by reaching out to the person you think you offended (and I say "think" because she might have seen the humor in your statement!)
A sense of humor is a wonderful thing, I could have pictured myself saying something like that because a)it IS true,I have stick straight hair and b) it would have taken the "pressure"off the conversation with a little levity.
I have always found it awkward to know the "right thing" to say to someone in a difficult time. Usually I try humor. I have learned from these boards , as well as life that my "sarcastic wit" is not always the way to go. Some of the people on the "shut the f up" board or one of the others "can you believe they said that?(something like that) take it to the extreme . I don't think I would EVER educate someone on why their comment could be construed as hurtful, dumb,or inconsiderate by describing the process we go through as a cancer patient. The only purpose that would serve is to degrade them. I am actually AFRAID to have a conversation with another cancer patient based on reading the boards I just mentioned. Seems there isn't anything That can be said that won't be taken out of context! Even "have a nice day" lol
Btw, I did chemo, did not loose all my hair but a good portion of it and my stick straight hair is still stick straight. I now get comments of "I love your short hair" along with looks and quietness because they don't know I had chemo so think I did a bad cut. I couldn't take the looks from one acquaintance and decided to say something about chemo, hair loss and growing in...she was shocked, sympathetic and supportive.
Lesson learned, we don't know what ANYONE in life is going through at any given time.
Pat0 -
YKYACP when you step into the shower still wearing your eyeglasses - darn chemobrain!
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Pattysmiles--it is always hard to find the "right thing" to say during a difficult time.I think we all understand that, and use this thread as place to say the things we think of saying back to people.We realize people mean to be supportive and helpful, and don't realize how what they say can be taken, and I would not want to upset or embarrass anyone, so I come here and vent and say the things that I sometimes wish I could say to people.Don't be afraid to have a conversation with another cancer patient.We're all human, and none perfect, but we mean well, too.0 -
Badger, been there done that, more than once, and that was BEFORE bc dx
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Thanks Pat, the lady has since passed. She was in extreme pain and walking with a cane and told her doctor about the pain and he crudely said "Of course you're in pain, you have stage IV cancer!" I have never forgotten hearing that, I feel as humans we have the right to be as pain-free as possible and fortunately I have a doctor who agrees. (Turns out she had a broken bone in her hip!!!)
YKYACPW you can remember things like I've just posted that are so sharp in your memory and yet not remember her name!! I'm so sad that the cancer defined her, rather than her name.....0 -
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CC you are so right! I never knew how grotty the little nose pieces could get until I washed my face with my glasses on one time (yep, chemobrain strikes again) and had to take water to them instead of the little squirt bottle and soft lens cloth they give you with new pair of specs. Guess it was time for another dousing LOL.
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NativeMainer,
I agree! I know everyone means well but I wish they would ask the question they have or tell me what they are thinking! I am still going to work, taking care of my family, going to church, and just trying to live my everyday life!
Thank you for letting me vent! Hope everyone has a great weekend!
-Nancy0 -
Badger,CC I think this must have happened because of this little laugh at ourselves here on this thread - I got up this morning, inserted my contact lenses, THEN on my way out the room ALSO put on my glasses - I don't think I have EVER done that before, (nope, double strength did not help my view of the world)
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