You know youre a cancer patient when....
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Oh H#$7LL no, nobody better lock up my wine! I look forward to it tasting good again about every third week!
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AStorm, it sounds like your 17 year old has great taste in wine. Seriously though, I don't blame you for locking it up. DesignerMom, I am four weeks PFC, and everything tastes good again! Leanna9, I hear you on the chemo farts, that is one SE that is still with me, yuck.
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I'm 17 months PFC and I still fart way too easily. Will that bit of "lady like" ever come back?
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ok so sorry to repeat but I swear I read a similar to what i am posting now but would'nt you know it I can not find it so .....
When Chemo brain.................
When your own Primary Physician does not recognize you cause you have been seeing 'specialists' since your DX & initial visit.
When a tech give you a hug before you have been told anything (initial mammo/ultrasound).
When a (different) tech starts crying cause you are nervous getting your first post annual mammogram.
When you can rattle off your DX & treatments to a nurse/ Doc who has your file in front of them & they do not seem to know as much as you about it.
When a test gets misplaced & you are the only one who seems concerned.
When you use language that even your family does not understand.
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when you can rattle off the dates of your diagnosis and all the treatment/procedures you've been through since, but forget your kids' ages
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mnmom - I had a male tech cry when I told him I had just been diagnosed for a 2nd time. I was getting a chest x-ray after my 2nd surgery to get tissue and lymph nodes and developed a cough. My PCP was making sure I didn't have pneumonia!
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when you consider the idea that your water bill has gone up because you are peeing so often and the toilet flushes have seriously increased!!!
when you can go from blonde to brunette in a matter of seconds! My DH talked me into getting a brunette wig at the salon today as my backup wig! I love it!
when you arrive with your DH at your chemo appt with the brunette wig and the nurses don't recognize you at first. One of them thinks your DH is coming in with another woman!!! My response... "Oh yeah like having one woman with breast cancer isn't enough, he decided to get a mistress with cancer too!!" She laughed so hard it hurt (she just had dental work done)!!! LOL!
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kittycat- LOL!!!!
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When your DH sits in a chair in the corner as you flash your boobs to total strangers.
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StillVerticle,
I don't miss the hangovers, do you? I had enough wine to last a lifetime....I'll give it back to the younger set
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I miss my Gin and Tonics. Although the tonic water still tastes good!
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kitty- You are a trip! You make me laugh every day. Thank you!
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Good lord if I had the kind of hangovers I used to get, I think I would die!!....when your so freaking tired you find a way to wash dishes sitting in a chair! and chemo farts-my dogs would run from the room and I'd be after them if only I could run. And i am 8 months PC and still farting. XXOO, SV
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LOL - the dogs run from the room!!!
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For real, these were "nuclear farts".these were farts that have no name. i slept with the covers off and felt hat on so I would not suffocate in the middle of the night!...when you let a silent but deadly off and give a dirty look to the stranger in the grocery store so everythinks it was her. teehee SV
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SV,
ROFLMAO it hurts too good!!!!
AStorm... exactly all the school paper work/doc app, I had to keep asking them each what year they were born.
kittycat, always nice to know I'm not alone in my experiences, I had multiple surgeries also.
When you wonder if you ever will 'glow' after all the xrays,scans, rads.
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JFV - I can almost convince myself I'm drinking a real gin and tonic with just the tonic and lime. Now if they'd only come up with a decent non-alcoholic wine. My taste buds aren't fooled at all there.
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Why do all of my child's Dr.'s seem more concern about me than her. Just saw her Ped's Urioligist for her pre surgery appointment. He asked about me first. Then I felt guilty for my thoughts when he told me his wife was a cancer patient too.
LOL about the farts...only because I have the same problem.
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LMAO!!!! I love this thread.
.............when you choke so badly on grilled zucchini that your DH has to give you the heimlech (4 times) to disclodge the food - once you're able to breath you begin laughing hysterically because all you can think is the damn cancer didn't get me, it's going to be the healthy zucchini.
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jenn - don't laugh too hard you'll choke!
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When we were kids my brothers would always BLAME the dog for their farts. Poor thing, she used to actually look guilty when they scolded her. Sadly, there is no dog around here to blame!
Jenn3- OMG! I heard about choking on hotdogs, but zucchini! It does put things in the proper perspective. I bet BC isn't even going to be the thing that "gets" most of us!
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When no matter how cute your husband may be, you'd rather be dancing with Ned.
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When you accidentally drop a mirror and it breaks and you jump up and down with joy because you are now guaranteed 7 years.
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...when you keep scrubbing and scrubbing, trying to get your eye makeup off until you finally realize that it's actually tiny black dots of new lashes trying to sprout through.
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you know you are a cancer patient when............
your insurance carrier sends you notification that you qualify for a castastrophic illness coach to guide you through treatment.
hmmm, is he built well? does he do massage? will he stop and ask directions when I get my lame ass chemotarded self lost going to the grocery store? If all he does is yell, blow a whistle and tell me to work through the burn, I'll pass.
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chemotarded!
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I think I, too, am suffering from chemotardedness. I have 140 students. In a typical school year, I can learn all their first and last names by the end of the first week. I have now had them in class for 3 weeks and am still asking some of them --- "tell me what your name is again." I hate that!
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embrace the chemotardation. love it. use it.
"honey, can you make that great chicken dish tonight for supper?" NO!!! I'm chemotarded. I don't know you, and I want nothing to do with your chicken!
"Ms. Pruett, could you please type this accident report for me before noon?" WHO ARE YOU AND WHO IS MS PRUETT? Is she hurt???
"Mom, did you forget to make the 60 cupcakes for the bake sale?" Where is your Mother Cupcake????
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embrace the chemotardation. love it. use it.
"honey, can you make that great chicken dish tonight for supper?" NO!!! I'm chemotarded. I don't know you, and I want nothing to do with your chicken!
"Ms. Pruett, could you please type this accident report for me before noon?" WHO ARE YOU AND WHO IS MS PRUETT? Is she hurt???
"Mom, did you forget to make the 60 cupcakes for the bake sale?" Where is your Mother Cupcake????
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Oh Meggy-Now that is hysterical. I need to go find a mirror!! They all went bye bye when I went bald. chemotarded.....when you call everyone "hon" because you cannot remember their names and you've known them for a decade. SV
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