You know youre a cancer patient when....
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Oh Meggy-Now that is hysterical. I need to go find a mirror!! They all went bye bye when I went bald. chemotarded.....when you call everyone "hon" because you cannot remember their names and you've known them for a decade. SV
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OMG! I'm dying here.
PamelaJo, your chemotarded scenarios are hysterical.
7 years of any kind of luck sounds good!!!!!
Madonna, don't scrub those lashes off
You know you're a cancer patient when you call a new employee "New Girl" for weeks coz you can't remember her name. Yes, I call her that to her face. They all know I have no mind.
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You know you are a cancer patient when...your teenage children give you a group hug, tell you they love you...and then make you pinky swear you will never leave the house without a hat, scarf, or wig! And then they add that maybe you should avoid walking in front of the bay window when you are walking around bald, unless the shades are down...the less the neighbors see the better!
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When you have approached the half way done mark for radiation you exclaim to the rad onc dr I can't take anymore I am melting. And then you ask for the intercom to blast Lady Gaga during the remaining treatments.
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Firni - LMAO at "new girl."
You know you are a cancer patient when Harris Teeter runs a special that for every (yes, every) prescription filled, you get a $20 credit with your VIC card!! We are now over $100 into groceries at that store, and I have paid about $10. Just keep getting them $20 at a time, and dropped off 2 more prescriptions today, and am going to ask my onc for everything at my appointment Tuesday, because this special runs until Oct 12th!! HOOT!! Free groceries!!!
You know you are a cancer patient when your 4 year old (3 at the time) comments on your newly shaved head.. "Mommy, I like your head!!" (aww).... and you put on your wig to wear out for the first time today, and he cries and says "Mommy, I don't like your hair!!". For the record, I ended up taking the wig off before we got home and putting my bandana on.. and he said "Mommy, I like your colors!!"
SPT - my 8 year old would be mortified if I left the house with nothing on my head!!
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OMG, embrace my chemotardness!! Excellent idea.....what were we writing about? ....when your next door neighbor finally paints his awful looking royal blue beach house and colors it a gorgeous tan and Ya' don't even notice until he points it out (happened while I was out defying death with my chainsaw today) and he, aware of impending doom, comes over to 'help me out.' "Lady drop the chainsaw and step away from the tree you just killed" Praise the Lord! Sweet dreams, SV
....when everytime you look up, you fall over.
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I honestly had a really good one and by the time I scrolled down and started typing...
NOTHING!!! ARGH!!!
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...When you have a funny post to add but by the time you go to type it in :::POOF::: it's completely gone from your head!
And the really funny thing is, I actually typed POOP the first time...LOL!!!
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When your son ( at 5 )says you do not have to wear a hat /scarf anymore for his birthday cause you do not look like a chia pet anymore.
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Someone on the boards came up with another word that I love: After you are dx'd and that few weeks before tx is all set: you become "stressstupid". I can fully relate! Kept telling dh that I had become just another statistic and I'd treat it like a gallbladder operation (I had a gallbladder back then) and keep on going. Little did I know.
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OMG.....I tried rubbing off my lashes when they started growing too....funny! And.....the mirror, wish I had thought of that line and may borrow that one! I feel like I live in chemotard land.... these are all so funny.
.....when your sister is trying to show you her thinning hair, then you make a bald joke and your Mom chimes in with "you can relate - been there done that". All I could do was laugh and give her a high five for thinking of it so fast.
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jenn, isn't it funny how they look like leftover makeup? Ha! Can't wait to have real lashes again!!
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This is an awesome thread!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hey Lauren, how are you and baby boy?? I just happened to see your name under this thread and wanted to say hi. Awsome thread!!
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Kitty - I think we need to see a picture of brunette Kittycat!
Kate, why were you flashing strangers? Did I miss something?
I so can not begin to think properly so having fights with my SO and I can't even do battle cause I lose the thread of the fight. Then I mix ups so many words he has no idea why I'm trying to say and by then I've forgotten as well.
Was hoping the nipple procedure would somehow make me feel "normal" I guess that isn't going to happen.
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Melanie - YAY... LASHES!!!! I am losing mine (and the brows) one hair at a time!!! I have a complete chunk of brows now missing on one side! Cancer fun!!!
You know you're a cancer patient when you wave to your neighbor across the street, who looks to be hanging out on his porch with his family. Then he walks up to you and you realize it's your husband (who was visiting the neighbors)! LOL!!! Super chemotardness!!!
When you deposit money in the bank and then realize you need to get cash out from the ATM because you need to pay the housekeeper the next day! DUH - chemotardness!!!
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You know your a cancer patient when you start buying cheap pads because you pee so much that sometimes you don't get there fast enough and the glue isn't as good on the cheap ones and after putting on a new one the phone rings and you jerk your panties up and the pad starts rolling up and you look down and there is more hair stuck to the glue on the pad than on you.
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when your university tells you that you cannot go on to complete your degree with your friends,but once your health problems improve they will look at putting you back on your course,with a bunch of strangers.....my cancer is terminal.....letter was from my proffessor,i dont hold out much hope for my fellow students with a tutor that stupid!
Sorry gutted about my course two years hard work down the drain all because of stupid cancer!
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Bluegems- LOL why didn't I think of lime. The other thing I miss is real coffee. I used to drink a huge cup of extra bold extra dark every morning!
Pamelajo- can I have your coach when your done with him?
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Hi Hip!!! We are doing well thanks! Baby boy just turned 3!!!! Where is the time going??? How have you been?
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Getting nipples makes your boobies more normal. Not your mind.
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when you pay your bills, send them off, then realize you wrote them from the wrong check book and they are gonna bounce. chemotardness. this has happened more than once. damn i hate cancer
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i hate cancer too but i love the word chemotardness. it is now an active part of my vocabulary, thank you!
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Why, I just used the term chemotard this morning when 5 minutes after I started the coffee, I couldn't remember if I did. Then I remembered that I put the water and coffee in but couldn't remember if I pushed the button. DH said I was a little absent minded this morning. I said No, I have chemotardation.
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When you have absolutely no mind left at the end of a day at work, you're in a chemo fog, you don't know what to do.... so you log onto BCO and read this thread!!!
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When you are about to watch a movie with your DH and he says "maybe i will see some nipples" (you know how guys are). Then he looks at you and apologizes because you only have one nipple and he thinks he made you feel bad. I just laughed.
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......When the very first time you can actually take a chance and put mascara on your new and lovely eye lashes, only to have them fall out again the minute you wash your face!!
......when you forget that the hair in the lower forty has grown back and you go to the beach to sit in the calm surf, only to realize that the region between your legs has become a sand trap.....ouch!! i am sitting here typing and feel like my ass has become an emory board!!
Lots of love to all my sista's, SV
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But SV, it will be sooooo smooth once all the sand is gone! hehehehehehe
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When you think you're going to watch "Stand Up For Cancer" tonight, but only make it until the song, wake me up when September ends, until you start crying uncontrollably because it scares the crap out of you and brings up all those fears again. You use to be totally strong, now you can be fine one minute, and a total mess the next.
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Susie - I couldn't watch either... tried... and cried...
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