You know youre a cancer patient when....
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I went to talk to a lady at Target as my kids are totally pestering me about getting a phone so wanted to see what all that was going to involve. Well, I did know I was due for an upgrade but I usually just go for the simple no frills actual telephone. So this lady was so good I left with a free (except those monthly charges! AcK) blackberry. I did read the pamplet and I did listen to the lady but this morning when the phone rang .... well I couldn't figure out how to answer it ! And to top it off it was locked and who remembers passwords when you are just waking up? I have three days to return the thing and if I can't get it unlocked obviously it is going away. Between that and my non-existand cable I'm paying for I so hate electronics. Can't they give non-working brain people a break on this stuff?
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Stanzie - they do have a phone for kids with 4 giant buttons. You don't even have to dial!
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Leanna - LMAO........yes, please leave the bald lady alone to pick out poop meds. There are some things we just want to do alone.
YKYACPW - you're driving to the store and the only reason you are headed in the direction you are going in is to go to that store for 1 item that you need. You get to a stop light about 1/2 mile from where you're going and completely forget why you're going that way. Thank goodness DH was in the car - I turned to him and said "where are we going"........
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When you make out the cheque for the school pizza to your 7 yr old instead of the school.They call you at home, and make it sound like it happens to everyone and just to give a new cheque at your convenience. He did get pizza today nevertheless
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YKYACPW at 46 years old you buy condoms for the very first time in your life because you can no longer take birth control pills. I told my DH that after surviving breast cancer I wanted to start trying new things....this was his first suggestion!
Oh, and as soon as I got them and rounded the corner I ran in to someone I knew!!
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Dawney - Priceless!! I, too, had to buy them for the first time... I have a copper IUD... but they have some really cool, kinky condoms out now!!
YKYACP when everyone tells you that you look tired, and you can't figure out why... then you realize it's because you have no eyelashes!
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YKYACP when the brown pinstripe blouse you've been wearing for the past 3 months is actually gray. How could I not see the color. I've been wearing it with brown. This morning it was gray.
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YKYACP when you go to WalMart late at night on purpose, to avoid running into people you know while shopping for things like condoms and personal lubricants, and to make sure the checker isn't your neighbor's teenaged daughter, who would be totally grossed out and possibly traumatized to think you're still having sex at your age (51).
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YKYACP when, several times a month, you pick up one kid from school and then happily head home, completely forgetting to drive to the other one's school. Alternately, you're at home blissfully going about your day when you look up at the clock and think "Oh sh*t!!" because it's 10 minutes past the time you're supposed to pick up either of them! Thank goodness they're teenagers!! Heck, they should just start walking home anway... :P0
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You know you are both cancer patients when
you exchange PM's about BM's & it seems normal
(just in case...BM's is poop)
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You guys continue to crack me up.Keep them comming. LOL
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When you get excited about putting on a bra for the first time after radiation even if you can only stand to wear it for three hours.
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YKYACP when instead of having wardrobes for different seasons you have wardrobes for different stages... post-op (sweats and PJ's!), drains (special clothes to hide the drains!) and reconstruction for some ladies (I don't know what you guys have to go thru, but I'm sure it's not fun), during chemo (easy access to the port shirts, whatever I can drag my butt into), mid radiation (ouch! new, no-underwire bras!), and on Tamoxifen (new jeans, since you can't fit the old ones
!!)YKYACP when one night you're blissfully ignorant, watching a movie in bed and you accidentally find a lump, changing your life forever.
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YKYACP when you stop at the salon for a trim around the ears and get a shave and a haircut (two bits - NOT). My downy beard is gone!
YKYACP when your hairdresser doesn't want any money for cutting your hair.
YKYACP when you get to tell your hairdresser she's been right all these years about cutting your hair, you really DO look better with short hair (just not THIS short).
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OMG, I am hysterical over the buying of 'sensual items' at our advanced age. It is like thinking of your parents having sex.
........when you find out you look younger with really short hair because all people see is your eyes!
......when you are on the beach and all of the lesbians come over to meet you bec your hair is so short, well, you just have to be a dyke (no offense to anyone and yes I have lesbian friends!!!!!). Just never hit on like I was today!
......you're really grateful that SOMEBODY thinks you are cute!
Sweet dreams, SV
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you are thinking about moving to Iceland, the name sounds good, because you feel so hot all the time!!!! Where's my fan??? Thanks to Arimidex and its many wonderful SEs!
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When you use the extendable faucet to fill the coffee pot.... then forget about it, and instead wander into another room to watch your teenage son playing some video game on the computer... only to come back to the kitchen... now flooded.
Ooooops!!!
And when you yell "OHhhhh!!! Emergency in the KITCHEN!" No one *rushes* to see what the problem is because hey.. the fire alarm is not going off this time! How bad can it be?
Oh My. What can you do but laugh???
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This has been a really great giggle thread (in a bitter sweet sort of way).
YKYACP when you can't remember why YKYACP.
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YKYACP when you want to mark 10/10/10 with your BCO sisters
(and maybe push this thread to page 50 - AWESOME) {{hugs}}
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okay lets make that page 50
when your hubbys ask for the tv remote and you handed it to him....he gets this look and you suddenly realize it didn't feel right in your hand and look down to see that you gave him the remote to the AC window unit.
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YKYACP when you finally try some of the other lotions that you got in your Look Good, Feel Good bag and then you're wondering "why does this smell funny & familiar?" You realize that it smells just like the old ladies that would give you hugs and kisses when you were a kid! OMG - have I made it to the old-lady-stinky-lotion stage???
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How about when you get disgusted because the TV remote does NOT work right, no matter how hard you are pushing buttons,,,then realize it is the damn phone you are pointing at the TV??? Oh, how I HATE that.Judie0
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YNYACPW- EVERY lotion smells stinky. Come to think of it, my sense of smell is "heightened" to say the least! I'm gagging when perfumed ladies (and men) walk by me on the street!
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Oh yeah, the phone instead of the remote. I do it all the time!
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I know I must look pretty stupid when I pick up the remote and hold it to my ear to see if there's a dial tone or not.
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YKYACP when you don't use your DVD player anymore, because you need three remotes to watch a DVD - one for the TV, one for the cable converter box, one for the actual DVD player - too complicated!! (edit to add - page 50 - we rock!! keep 'em coming!!)
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... when you can't be bothered to type in all that YK etc.
..when it dawns on you (after quite a while) why badger uses badger for her avatar name.
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YKYACP when you go to a local football game wearing your scarf. And before you even get to the stands you are talking hair with another BC survivor you never met before. And she lets you "pet" her head to get an idea what your hair might feel like in a few months. No one else you meet dares to mention your scarf even though you are the only person there wearing one.
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hahaha Gill - it's because Wisconsin is the Badger State
named for early lead miners who dug holes and lived underground like badgers
for me it's also because badgers have the temperament of wolverines, their larger relative
and I needed ferocity to get thru tx (like the chihuahua, I had delusions of grandeur LOL!!)
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YKYACP when it's with relief you see this thread has reached page 50.
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