You know youre a cancer patient when....
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Ok, I know this might be TMI for some, but not for us.
YKYACP when, 3 days after the BMX with immediate reconstruction, everybody is very worried that you didn't go no. 2 yet, and you're too ashamed to confess that you dont' mind, because you discovered that you aren't sure if you can wipe yourself - the arm doesn't seem to stretch all the way there.
YKYACP when you keep toppling water glasses on the table in front of you because, having no feeling in your foobs, you have no idea when you touch them.
YKYACP when you don't realize and go to take the trash out in a winter day without a jacket on, only to discover that in the short amount of time you've been outside, your silicone implants decided to play popsickles on you, and now you feel like you have two frozen jelly-fish on your chest.
I got myself a pill organizer too - the problem was that I kept forgetting to fill it up. Or I'd take my pills from the bottles then not know exactly what day I was supposed to get the next.
Worst part when I was having chemo was when I kept paying utility bills over and over. It left us with a credit for a couple months afterwards, and was stressing my BF real bad because we couldn't figure out where were the money going so fast.
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Day - that is really funny about your bills! I love all the other comments too!
YKYACP when you're super glad you have a wig to wear during chemo because you didn't have the energy to do your hair anyway!
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Day - LMAO about the bills... I did the same thing!!
YKYACP when you are repeatedly reminded about conversations you have had over the past year, and you have absolutely no recollection!!
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Speaking of music have any of you heard the Sheryl Crow song about her radiation treatment.Its on her Detours album I think its called Make it go away. It is very weird but of course I like it.
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YKYACPW-you pray that your ECHO is good enough for you to start yet more treatment - for a year no less - with Herceptin. And you wonder, if you have to get a port - again - if "bedazzling" is an option. Lets face it, sparkles make everything better!
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Oooooh, LOVING the Bedazzling idea! Wouldn't that make WAY better tatoos for rads???
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Ha! Love it! Bedazzle radiation markers. THAT would be something to show off:)
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You folks are sooo funny!
Best I could come up with -
YKYABCP when pink is a four-letter word...
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TNBC-er - that's a good one. I've never been a "pink" girl, but since bc, you are right, pink is a four letter word. I'm going to use it (in my mind at least). Can you imagine, "oh pink off will you" to some annoying person.0
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you could give 'em the pinkie 0
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gilly, badger--love it. I'll think of that next time i find that it seems better to say a polite thank you for that "pink" ribbon or shirt or whatever .
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...................When you go to McDonald's and when you are about to pay, you give the cashier your hospital card instead of your ATM card. (happened to me today!)
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when you go to your rads treatment with a stick on tattoo of a shamrock on your good breasts. Just to make them laugh. And they did.
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when you go upstairs and think "why am I up here?" So you go downstairs and think "why am I down here?" LOL!!!
when you've become the crazy patient at the onco's office (but as my friend Melanie said... the squeaky wheel gets the grease!!!!
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when lose your fake nipple, only to find that it has migrated slowly from your newly reconstructed breast to your right wrist and is now stuck there for all to see!
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OMG bearcat too funny! Hopefully you saw it before anyone else did. Not that they'd tell you, right? Like when you have something in your teeth or on your nose, and you finally see it and wonder why didn't somebody say something!
chabba, it makes me smile to think of giving someone the finger, the pinky finger that is!
YKYACP when you went from zero to four weekly pill minders because you bought one for yourself but then your mom, MIL & SIL each sent you one as a C-Mas present.
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Bearcat, omg so funny. I am that person who would tell you that you have a nipple on your wrist...I hope you didn't have some random man trying to tweek your wrist.
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YKYACP when you open the back door to let the dog out in the morning, and you set off the alarm because you forgot to disarm it, and then you can't remember the code to disarm it and that sets off the really loud siren alarm, which wakes up your husband on the one day he can sleep late, and then you remember the code.
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bearcat, gilly and badger: you girls had me giggling to myself all afternoon after I read your posts today! Thanks for the laughs! Badger ~~ lunch, soon? I'll PM you to check your calendar. Gina0
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Hi Gina - love to! {{hugs}}
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YKACP when you go to the plastic surgeons office with 'fun' removable tattoos in appropriate locations on your foobs, and he nearly falls off the stool from laughing so hard. I told him I was tired of 'barbie boobs'.
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YKYACP when you are at work and your medications are causing a huge build-up of gas, so you leave your desk in a hurry, by-pass the ladies room because you would destroy it for everybody else, and head out the back door to the smoking area, and hope nobody is there; you look around and it is empty so you have a huge explosion a cow would be proud of, then you notice the guy smoking, leaning against the side of the building with an odd expression on his face.
YKYACP when you run out to the smoking area so many times a day somebody say, "Weesa, I didn't realize until recently you smoke."
YKYACP when you revise this routine and now you go out to your car in the parking lot.
YKYACP when you are the only car in the parking lot with all the windows rolled down in mid-winter.
YKYACP when you worry that putting so much methane into the driver's seat and then turning the seat warmer on high at the end of the day could result in an untimely explosion-- and also, is it okay to stop at the Shell station and fill 'er up?
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weesa... HAH! Thanks for the laugh. (c:
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LMAO
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Weese, if it's a "single hole" men's room USE it!!! Good trick. You come out and say "wow, sorry the womens was busy and I had to use THAT one!
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Barbe,LOL I've done that at one of our local fabric stores.
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Weesa, laughing so hard the tears are flooding. What an epic tail. ....typo intended!
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YKYACP when your car becomes your private sanctuary, your ultimate retreat, your highly personal space, where you eat, pray and if you're lucky-- love, where you turn up the radio to high and scream as loud as you can, rant and rave, sob, laugh hysterically, check in the rear view to see if any eye lashes are coming back, check your nose for boogers, check your pulse, check your legs to see if you need to shave yet, check your breath, check to see if your period's come back, check your voice mail, check your fingernails, and remind yourself to check your toenails when you get out for any loose ones. It is where you pass major gas without anybody commenting on your social error, it is where you belch, burp, occasionally throwup on chemo days, sometimes shart, but never ever do a really full grown poop if you can help it. It is where you do your lymphatic drainage massage,where you can count on being totally alone, blow your nose, adjust your prosthesis, check your other boob for lumps, have a couple of nose bleeds, and where you can control the temperature in sync with your hot flashes.It's where you sneak off to, to do a quick snooze. It's where you still see some long strands of your hair blowing around when you turn the fan on high.It's where you talk on your cell to your chemo buddies in private, and where you sometimes (ahem) text. It's where you store a couple of extra emends, ativan and several large bath towels It's where you ask yourself, "Why me?" and where you contemplate your place in the universe.It's where you go every day, where you know you won't be interrupted as long as you keep rolling, to be yourself when you are a cancer patient.
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weesa, well said. Hysterical and heartbreaking at the same time.
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Dear Weesa!!!! Wow, my car became my sanctuary during my treatment. My husband would take me for rides, and I would take a ride everyday by myself sometimes going to every fast food drive up window that was available to me.I prayed, laughed and cried while I was driving. It was the perfect therapy for me. Your post was simply beautiful. Thanks for sharing!!!! Kathy
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