Great saying about depression
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Kate, what we need is one big group hug!!! Imagine us all around you in one big embrace. . . And then we all start swaying. . . And hugging. . . And the next thing you know we all start singing "that's what friends are for. . . " please know you are so very much in my thought this weekend, and your tests next week give you the all clear! Try to keep busy this weekend--- try to dance--even if it's like what I do--put your headphones on and jam away. Shake out all those thunderclouds over your brain and totally zone out!! Of course I try to do it when everyone is out of the house or asleep because I'm sure I look quite frightening!
Gum-- love the ketchup story, but how do you hide vodka in a ketchup bottle? Hmmm ,just wondering!
Diane --glad you are up and running and I do feel your pain. My MIL gave me one on one computer training for my Mac for my birthday. Boy do I need it!0 -
Thanks for all the support everyone. I'm calling you my Wonder Women! Don't know what I would do without all of you!
I am feeling better today- not feaking out now. (OK, maybe a little.) I think I was getting ahead of myself yesterday. My BS is a surgical oncologist and I already had myself strapped down for chemo. Since she is 2 hours away I was thinking that was not going to work. I've decided to meet with her to at least find out what is going on. If it does turn out to be something I'm sure she can refer me to someone closer. I love her, though, and completely trust her. And the cancer center down in Tuscon is amazing. So now that I have a plan I am feeling much better. I will contact her on Tuesday to see what the next step is in the process.
barbe- Nope, not planning my funeral because I don't believe in them. Sorry, but I think they're icky. My equivalent would be a big party at my favorite local dive bar with my favorite band playing. Everyone would dance and toast their glasses and hopefully say, "Too bad Kate isn't here because, DAMN, she was a good dancer!"
macatac- The moon was gorgeous last night! Particularly beautiful over the mountains and saguaros to the east of us. Unfortunately, ours did not come with that hint of coolness. Darn!
Going to a dinner party tonight with 3 of our favorite couples. Should be a nice relaxing night. Hope everyone is having a good weekend.
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Claire, I think it was a red plastic bottle with a squeeze top. That's what I pictured. So it looked like ketchup and held vodka. BRILLIANT to switch it out!!! hehehehehehehe
Amazing how both weddings and funerals are changing over the years. I LIKE the changes!!
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Claire- I think we were posting at the same time. LOVE the visual so thank you for that! I picture you all in a circle around me. I was just telling my Mom on the phone about all you amazing women and the support here. She's so glad I have all of you.
Gum- Loved the ketchup story, too, but hope you didn't pour out the vodka but instead put it to good use. Then told her later, "Thanks for the vodka. It tasted like a watered down bloody mary but delicious none the less!"0 -
Kate, That's awful that you're in this state of mind on a long weekend. I like to think they are just being extra cautious, that's all. I really think that sometimes they don't think about how they word things. I had a few huge scares that turned out to be because of the standard terminology that the techs used.
Claire: Yes, Barb is right: it was the squeeze bottles. I couldn't figure out why the heck she'd need so much ketchup for a weekend trip.
Kate, I did pour it out. Not only did it come from my ex's house (so it was probably just shy of moonshine) I'm not sure how well she cleaned the bottles!
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Kate! watered down bloody mary- LOL that took me a minute.... Kate hope your dinner with friends was nice and you were able to give your mind a rest. Staying busy is so good for making time go by more quickly. Hope you have something fun planned for today and tomorrow- I keep thinking today is Labor Day-.... I'm a day off already.
Gum- my ex was growing an illegal plant, shall we say when he was in highschool. His mother found it one day while putting away his laundry and so when he got home from school the only thing she said about it was - I found that poor plant in your closet, it can't live in darkness so it is out on the front porch. Of course he was horrified someone would see it and they would all be in trouble so it quickly disappeared and nothing was ever said. Well till she told me the story one day. He said he was so ashamed and embarassed and scared. He knew she knew what kind of plant it was as his parents were scientists and his father a Botonist... So I agree sometimes subtly is a lot more fun and more effective.
That is another thing with my daughter(still being horrid) when I went through her room looking for the missing clothes and shoes I found a black I-pod. She doesn't own a black i-pod.????? So most likely she found it at school and didn't turn it in but kept it. So I have removed it and am waiting to see how she will ask about it..... I'll have her turn it back into school of course but I know it is driving her nuts. She keeps talking about music and i-pods so .... it is bothering her....
Claire - I bet you look adorable dancing with headphones!
Diane- so impressed with you and your computer! Amazing and thank goodness for nephews- I keep waiting for my kids to get that electronic brilliance but still waiting.....
Ok,Kate!!! Hugs and Loving warm thoughts to you!
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I'm counting on my grands to deal with technology for me. My 18 month old George can open an Iphone!!! So cute to watch him 'swipe' his little finger across the bottom. He even knows which coloured symbol will give him the music!! Then when it starts he holds it up to his ear even though you can hear it easily. It's like he's talking to the band or something...heheehhehehehe
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Kate hope you had a great night last night!!
I stayed in and watched the Hunger Games which I swore I wouldnt watch but it actually was very good if anyone is looking for a good rental. I was supposed to go in the office today but my puppy is not feeling good today. Woke up to a deep bark in my face which means I GOTTA GO..he ran downstairs to the back door...thats been my morning so far. My poor baby.
Anyhow, hope everyone is having a peaceful Sunday.
Diane
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Diane, I hope your puppy got rid of what was upsetting his tummy!! We've had cats eat some of the dropped leaves from house plants and then puke them up in a great display in traffic paths!!!
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Oh Diane.... poor puppy! Mind ate the strap off another sandle which is one thing but I can't find the whole other shoe which has me a bit concerned - however Mr. Cast Iron Tummy is feeling wonderful!
I really liked the Hunger Games and thought they did a good job with sticking to the books.
Cute about your Grandson, Barb.
Kate- hope you are doing ok and taking a break from anything stressful. Thinking of you!!
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Must be the day for pups and tummy issues. My dog, Scout, was having issues, too. Seems to have made a full recovery now, though.
The dinner party last night was a bit of a let down last night. I shared what was going on but no one seemed that concerned. Not sure anyone gets it how scary this can be. Sure glad I have all of you who understand that even if it turns out to be nothing it can turn your world upside down for awhile. I want to thank all of you for the support. It means so much!
Today was a nice day having lunch and swimming at my Mom's. My sister was there, too, and my aunt and a cousin who was in from Las Vegas so lots of girl talk and laughing. My DH is grilling up a big, juicy steak as we speak and we're going to curl up with a movie later. Hope everyone is having a good night and all those pups are staying out of trouble!
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Kate Sorry you were let down by your friends last night. I am sure you just caught them off guard and yes they don't understand the gravity of what you are dealing with. Hopefully they will come around and give you an appropriate response and support. Sorry your puppy is not well either. OMG I literally spent half the day outside (in the muggy sweltering bug infested back yard) with Charlie...now I pray for a heavy rain to wash it all away as there is no picking those piles up
I feel so bad cause after about the 5th time outside he sorta messed himself ---long white haired backside.. and I tried to get him in the tub but he wasn't having it. I picked all 80lbs of him up into my claw tub and he waited till I lather his backside up before he made a run for it. OMG I thought I was gonna kill him. He made a huge mess out of my bathroom and would not get back in the tub. I had to rinse his ass (literally) with a sponge and towels to get the shampoo out. Then I was so pissed I had to crate him for a bit and walk awaaaaaaayyyy from the puppy. After about 20 minutes of his whimpering I let him out and apologized for yelling at him and he looked so embarrassed it just made me feel worse. Needless to say King Charlie has been pampered the rest of the evening. I think he is feeling better but tomorrow will be another white rice and boiled chicken diet day.
Getting nervous thinking about my US results. I am really hoping its something that will go away without surgery...if you know what i mean. I didn't even tell anyone other than my nurse friend and you ladies cause I feel like people are so sick of my health updates..didn't tell anyone about my onc visit either but you ladies. I think everyone has had their fill of me and my bc and aches and pains.
Meanwhile my friend who was recently diagnosed with ILC is having a difficult time getting through radiation. She has 24 more treatments to go and she has been sick with fever all week. She has a chronic bacterial lung infection (I cant remember the name) so the radiologist are trying to make sure they don't hit her lungs. Well I guess they did she has been coughing like crazy and is now on 3 antibiotics. She called me today and she has terrible diarrhea and a fever. I told her to call the doc but she said she would call her in the morning. My poor little friend..she is only 87lbs and 4 10. She is so fragile. We work together too so of course she is totally stressed about upcoming deadline. I didn't do radiation so I really don't know what to tell her to help her get through it. I told her about BCO but she is having computer problems at home so she hasn't been able to log on.
Ok I am rambling....laying in bed on my new computer! I forgot how great it is to have a computer that holds a charge and doesnt need to be plugged in.
Hugs to all...good night ladies!
Diane
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Diane- Oh, the joys of puppy parenthood! Poor baby! (And poor you!) My experience today wasn't nearly as bad!
When do you think you will have your test results? Did they give you a day? I hope they can get some answers but that it is an easy fix. I know it's so hard to wait and we have to force our brains to not cross over to the "dark side". It sounds like your new onc will be very proactive and thorough so you can be reassured that everything is ok. Take care of yourself in the meantime. We're all there waiting with you and we're in your pocket no matter what. Hope tomorrow you can find something fun to take your mind off the wait. Hopefully your sweet Charlie will wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed no worse for wear and you can have a great day together. (((hugs)))
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Hi Kate33,
Please let us know how you are getting along. I have been worried about you. I agree about the lax way the medical profession pass on results. The Dr's do not wait for their results - believe me. One Oncologist I knew had a lump in her breast. She made the pathology lab wait there whilst the lump was removed, take the specimen straight to the lab, and report back as soon as they had the result! Nice for some!!
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hehehehehhehee Diane, I have a naughty pic of you "laying in bed on your new computer"....just read funny to me.
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Oh barbe, you take my mind where it probably shouldn't be, but you make me laugh in spite of all that is going on!
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Barbe!! Nothing naughty just me Sadie and Charlie curled up in bed watching a movie while I was a late night BCO lurker.
3Jays I know you are good friends with Marybe and I just read what is going on with her...I am so saddened to hear she has taken a turn for the worse and was touched to know how many friendships she made here. She is a bright spirit and you were so lucky to have had that time together on her visit. Hugs to you ..I know your heart is breaking. We are here for you in this difficult time. Love you sweetie ..hang in there.
I am supposed to hear from the doctors tomorrow (remember how I wanted to wait to have testing done...well he didnt) so now tomorrow when I am super busy at work I am going to get a call to either go to his office or schedule more test. He said if the US was negative he was going to order a CAT scan of my abdomen thinking it was possibly diverticulitis or some other bowel/colon issue. I will keep you all posted.
Today is icky muggy rainy day and my poor puppy couldnt be more bored. He does feel better which is good news. I think its gonna be a frisby in the house kind of day.
Hope everyone is having a good Monday...this is actually the best Monday I have had in a while!!
Hugs to all
Diane
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Maddie- Thank you. I am kind of surprised by my doctor's nonchalant attitude towards the test results. She is a BC survivor herself so thought she would have been more sensitive. I almost think she must have been out of town and some other doctor in the office was taking over. Normally, she would have called me at home. How are you doing? I know the recon issues have gotten you down.
3jays- So sorry to hear about Marybe, too. For some reason we have never crossed paths on the threads on here but I have heard such wonderful things about her from others besides you. I know you must be going through such a hard time right now. I know how close you are to each other. Amazing the friendships we form here, isn't it? I know that she is very lucky to have you for her friend as we all are. I know you haven't been posting much because of your own challenges but know we are all here for you.
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Diane, you are such a good Mum to Charlie. If that had been jaki I would of just hosed her off outside and shampooed her up and rinsed her before even letting her in the tub. I am lucky she will step into the tub for me as with the LD flap on my right side I can't pick her up at 50 pounds. At least you shut the bathroom door so you didn't have a trail of water and shampoo throughout the house! Don't feel bad about crating her for a while. I would of needed a time-out after all of that for sure.
Stanzie - guess I was lucky Jaki was not a chewer except with her toys. Maybe she ate the whole other sandel?
3jays: my thoughts are with you in regard to your friend Marbe. I often wonder why life has to be so challenging at times and seemingly (to me) unfair.
Diane and Kate: you both know if you were a Dr or a Dr's wife you would have your complete test results pronto. I always thought they should have a Dr while going through their residency be a patient for a couple of weeks in various scenarios - like waiting in the ER, in pain and throwing up, or with a sick child, or lying in a hospital bed, in agony, pressing the call button for the nurse for pain medication only to be told the Dr said only every 6 hours and it's only been 4, or to lie anxious and scared out of your wits before a surgical procedure to see how bad your BC is and not be given any pre-op anti-anxiety medication.
Thinking of all of you and how we try so hard to be positive and move forward with our lives, but sometime's it just isn't so easy.....or at least it isn't easy for me....
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3jays has been lucky enough to have spent some time with Marybe over the years. I was supposed to join Marybe in Shell Knob last year but just couldn't financially. Then this year, my DH and I were driving down to join her for Thanksgiving and to cook with her. She didn't know that we had Thanksgiving in Canada so we were going to share some of our traditions with her. I will never meet her and I wonder what pain is worse? Of course, there is no contest, but it does bring back when Konakat passed. I was to visit her in Ottawa "only" when she felt better (her words)...sigh. I think this has made me realize there is really NO right/good/better/perfect time to DO something. I will never know Marybe's hug but I pray she knows my love and respect.....3jays, I cannot imagine YOUR pain as you have felt her arms and heard her voice...
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3jays-I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, no words can ease your sorrow. Please know we are here for you and love you. I didn't know Marybe like you did, but I feel a loss from our community that can't be replaced. Really wish I could step thru these keys and give you a big hug, think we all need one right now.0
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thank you so much cmbear for the kind thoughts.. i've been working in the garden, trying to feel the sunshine, and crying, this was the place at my home Marybe loved. sat out on the patio everymorning... a sad, sad day..........3jays0
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Oh I had not heard about Marybe! Oh 3jays! I am so sorry I know how much you all mean to each other.... My heart aches for you.... I just don't know what to say. And with all you have going on.... I'm just so sorry, do take care of yourself which I know is even harder with difficult times....
Debbie- I so wish doctors could get a taste of their own bedside manner!
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3jays I too want to add I am sorry for your impending loss. It robs a little bit of us each time this disease takes one of our friends that have journeyed with us. It renews our spirits in the fight against this disease. To push for honest communication and medical care and to live it honestly so those that have not had to endure this do not take it lightly or minimize what we endure.
Kate and Diane I hope you hear and get some results soon!!!!
Must have been the week/weekend for dog issues. My beloved golden could hardly walk down the stairs his hips were so sore. Gave him meds and seems to be a bit better.
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3jays we love you and have missed your posts. I am so very sorry for the sadness and loss you are experiencing right now. Big hug from Baltimore to comfort you in your time of sorrow.
I love how everyone rallied to her and I am sure she felt all the love and support everyone gave her. What a special lady to have touched so many. Another great loss
Love to all
Diane
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3jays- I sent you a PM but wanted to tell you I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. These losses are felt so deeply because we have shared so much of ourselves with each other. It's just devastating when we lose those bonds. Marybe sounded like an amazing spirit and she made everyone around her feel special. I know it's hard to say goodbye to someone like that in your life.
Quick little update- I called the onco office and they requested my CT scan report and films so imaging place is faxing the first and mailing the second. I was told she would review the faxed report and get back to me. I haven't heard anything yet but will keep everyone posted.
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I sent a PM as well.... just so very sad.
Kate, I'm hoping you here soon.
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3jays: so sorry.
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Kate glad you heard something today... wish the docs would have given you a complete response though. My onc did not call me back today so I will bug him tomorrow.
I am having throbbing pain from that damn TV US. I have felt miserable since Friday. She poked the what not out of me! I dont even know what organs she hit but it hurt.
Ugh. no more complaining...well until I have something more concrete to complain about...
Diane
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DiDel - Was it your doctor or a tech that did your TV US? I walked out of a doctor's office recently because I thought the test was going to be done by the doctor but instead there was a tech with just two years training planning to conduct the test. I'd planned to change doctors but thought I'd get this year's ultrasound out-of-the-way first. Made a decision to get it done now.
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