Great saying about depression
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Diane couldn't handle the dead and half dead things
Our dog hasn't ever done that. But lately he is going to be 13 in January he wakes me up at night because he sounds like a cat trying to cough up a hair ball! My grandson and I made Halloween cupcakes together. He is almost three this weekend. Then we put them on Halloween plates with candy corn and cupcakes on the plates and put them in his red wagon and brought them to his neighbors. He was so funny he kept eating the candy corn off the plates as he was bringing them up to the door. Walked with daughter, son-in-law, grandsons, and hero husband in a 3 mile walk in my daughter's town to honor my son-in-laws mom who died of bc in 2004. I think around 20,000 walkers and 100% of money stays in their community. Saw a dad holding his two daughter's hands and they were walking in memory of their mom. This disease is hideous! They were maybe 8 and 10! Brought tears as I think about all they lost.
Barbe I am sorry you are continuing to be hurt by the lack of response from your kids.
Kate hope you hear good news!
Mac did they do a scope and biopsy? This is beyond ridiculous for you to continue to be bounced around!!!
Delilahbear so sorry about the sling. It is a long process to heal from shoulder stuff. Not ranting just stating the facts of how hard this surgery is. It is ok.
Hope the Canadian thanksgiving celebrations turn out to be heartwarming even if not shared or looks like you had hoped. We do the same thing here about going around and saying what we are thankful for. And in spite of all that we are going through we are HERE, and we are loved. That is worth something!!!
I think we all need a good rock concert
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Hey everyone- Sorry I'm just posting. I had a late afternoon appointment with the onco. Everything is fine! She said she didn't see any uptake on the pet scan. WOO HOO! Still glad I got the 2nd opinion, though, for peace of mind. She said if I'm still having pain she recommends repeating the bone scan in January. I also met with the genetics counselor and did decide to do the testing so they took blood today. Should get the results in 2-3 weeks. We're going out to celebrate but wanted to share my news!
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Yay Kate, good news!!!! Hope the pain goes away. celebration time!!!
hopeful, no they have never done a scope or biopsy of lungs, b/c they can't see anything on the scans. I am going to try to have some long serious conversations with at least two docs tomorrow. Plus I am getting blood work again. I am beyond frustrated, I am so ready to just give up.
i was tested for pertussis (whooping cough) which was negative. My DS and I joke about it as I am coughing into my scarf out in public, about me being patient 0 on the east coast. Probably not that funny. People move away from me all the time in waiting rooms and on sidewalks. LOL
well, we know we won't hear from the Canadian ladies tonight. They are all snoozing off the turkey hangover.
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Kate - Great News for you. I am sure you are breathing a bit easier and can relax now that this part of the journey is behind you.
Macatacmv - Have they done any testing for Acid Reflux? I had a terrible (seemed like non stop) cough for 6 months. Seemed like was going to dr. every week and no one could find anything wrong. Chest x-rays were clear and they were frustrated. Finally went to pulmonologist and he spent a few weeks trying to figure things out and finally sent me to Gastroenterologist for upper endoscopy and they found severe acid reflux and a hiatal hernia. Later they added gastroparesis to the mess, but once on Prilosec everything cleared up and the cough went away. Now I am on Nexium and have been for years (I need to ask about the osteoporosis aspect of being on it for so long next visit, but it is the only thing that helps). This is just my 2 cents worth. Hope you find relief soon.
Hope Thanksgiving for the Canadian sisters was enjoyable despite the family situations.
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delilah, Thanks for asking. Yes, I just had an appt with an ENT doc and he stuck a tube down my nose to check out my throat. He found no vocal cord dysfunction, no nodules and no evidence of acid reflux. I have had acid reflux before and this doesn't feel the same. I can feel it in my lungs. When I first starting coughing the docs could hear wheezing in my lungs but since I have been on the prednisone for months that sound has gone away. Now the wheeze just comes out my mouth when I laugh or cough or cry. So we are treating the symptoms but don't know the cause. I hope your shoulder heals quickly and starts to be less painful.
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Great news Kate.
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just stopping by to say hello, and letcha know: we're in negotitions with my neighbor, to BUY his unit!!i'm soo happy, but cautiously.. im nervous something will go wrong.. he's doing us a huge favor by taking amtg .. so im nervous, till we close.keep me in your prayers.. thoughts..
Kate .. WHERE ARE YOU we're all here, waiting to hear some GOOD news!.night.3jays
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YaY YAY for Kate!!!! Now we can all relax for a bit- OK, nobody get any scary news or news to wait on ! Oh, and no falling either - we tend to do that also, don't we.... LOL - but not really.... Just thrilled Kate!
Mac- wow, that is truly puzzeling. I cannot imagine when I saw what Delilah said I thought oh good,that must be it but guess not... How very strange. I'm so sorry, coughing can be so very painful and your throat must stay sore.... Gosh I hope you get some answers and an easy fix soon!
Hopeful- Wow. What an emotional walk.... I haven't done the BC walk but a long time ago when I was first diagnosed with MS I did that and it was very hard emotionally. I think for those who lost a loved one it maybe more cathartic than it would be for me having gone through it, if that makes any sense. For me it would just make me sad, depressed and more scared I think. But at the same time being out there with others like you all who understand this disease then yes I can see doing it.... I sometimes think I have never really gone there as if I really think about having had a DMX I'll totally lose it. So I have it put away and I don't really look at myself. I don't have a boy friend so no one sees me. However if I'm seeing a movie and it shows breasts or has a sexual scene and shows these lovely whole females it makes me so said I have to turn it off and away for myself as it almost makes me sick I get so upset so I just have to pretend I didn't see it ... I just honestly can't even go there...
So.... my daughter and I are now in truce mode. Last week she had her first real week of tests and she Did study. I asked her three times if I could help and she said no. Well, they all came back horrendous. So, we had a talk and it was OK. I basically told her she will stop fighting me and that I'm not the enemy and I want her to succeed so she has to let me help her or she needs to change schools. So she immediately sort of gave this huge sigh or relief. Interesting... So... now I'm adding 9th grade history, biology, and spanish to writing this crazy paper.... And last night she gave me the wrong assignment so spent a few hours on not a section they were doing.... whee, I'm not having fun yet.
Tomorrow will be the first Study Group paper of this year- mine is second! I do feel ill and I still don't have to real grip on what exactly I'm writing about - I mean in clear detail... need to get going rapidly as I'm hoping my sister who used to proof read for a publisher will at least correct my grammer and she is leaving for a trip towards the end of the month.... so will pop in and out...
Hang in there everyone! 3-jays - keeping my fingers crossed for you! That would be SO wonderful and such a huge relief! Take care all.
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Kate, thank God!! But, that still doesn't address the pain, so it's frustrating still, I know.
3jays, I won't say this outloud but praying for it all to work out!!!!!
Stanzie, you will get a better idea of what is expected from you once you see the first paper presented. Remember, that person is nervous, too! You will just have to imagine that you are telling all of US about what you are writing about. And hang on!! Your daughter gave you an ASSIGNMENT??? Isn't SHE supposed to do it?? The fact that she gave you the WRONG assignement (who figured that one out?) shows you that she just isn't focussed. Is something else going on? Need for glasses? Hearing checked? Dyslexia???
Mac, is your cough productive? I had bad lungs years ago and they even thought I was asthmatic but my lungs did the opposite on the tests!!! I was put in chambers and all sorts of things stuck in my mouth while riding a bike. The docs kept hitting the machines as they all seemed to be registering wrong. Yet no diagnosis was made!!! I could never run, had no stamina, couldn't build up any either, even with practice so it was all frustrating. It all just kind of fell to the side and I got used to the fact that every 10 years or so I'd get this weird coug that went on for ages. People used to move away from me, too! I either had a really wheezie cough or a VERY productive one like a smokers cough. Very frustrating to say the least.
For what it's worth, I did smile at your "patient 0" comment...hehehhehehehehe
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Okay I am clueless what is patient 0?
3jays hope it works out, that woud be so great.
Kate great news!
Stanzie as you know I am not a pollyanna pink ribbon person at all. The walk thing is never something I would do probably. I prefer to give my donation privately. But I do this for my son-in-law and daughter. He wore a shirt with his mom's picture on it and dates of birth and death. On the back it said, "This is for you mom" My hero hubby pulled me aside later that night and sat me on his lap and said "I know that must have been hard for you" You know for some reason this year it wasn't as hard as last year. I am not sure why. I am still healing not done with reconstruction and uncomfortable due to the compliations at times. But for some reason it was ok. I felt because 100% of the money stays in their community and doesn't go for pink mixers or some companies profit margin I was helping make a difference. I know it is important to my son in law. So not sure why but didn't get as emotional as last year. And I totally get it with the seeing women who are whole and pretty and soft. I have a hard time with it as well. It makes my stomach hurt when I think of how my intimate life has changed. And I am sorry but it will never be the same and even though you find your way it makes me sad. But I do have to say sometimes I think we short change the men/women who love us. And if you don't have someone now, in the future. We think that is so very important and it is but it isn't everything. It is society and our culture that puts that all in our face. The men/women who are our partners love us beyond it. But it is so very hard to believe this. It is complex and it changes us in a way that is deeply personal and unexplainable to a woman who is whole. I think it is so frustrating/hurtful that it is so easy for women who have their breasts to say "a breast doesn't make a woman, just find a new way to make love", or any of the other ridiculous platitudes. Oh well I ramble sorry. So we cotinue on the journey. With an underlying sense of loss and sadness as to what was ..... our whole bodies, our bodies that felt touch, our sense of femininity, our assumption that we would grow old. And we embrace the fact that we are here and we challenge ourselves to find joy and intent and to learn to live with the changes/losses in a way that we can look back and say "we lived fully" that is the biggest challenge to me. To LIVE and to find purpose. On the days we are angry and sad it is so hard but we keep trying and learning and accepting the God given emotions we have. And we grow and stretch and try again.
Again sorry I ramble.
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Barb -My daughter was adopted was Russia when she was 6 mos old. She was neglected as a baby and she has some learning issues aside from doing her best to fight me. So far in school she has had periods where she was in trouble but usually managed to pull out of it. Now I'm really wondering how she even did that?
She wanted to try and see how she did on her own - well she is on the verge of failing every single subject and she goes to a terribly expensive private school where there are very small classes and lots of individual attention. We were told early one she would need help in school. So the last two years she has been more and more rebelling against help. So I spent the morning working on notes for her History class. This afternoon I look to see how she is doing taking notes and find her notes are all stored in the notebook backwards. In all honesty I sat there trying to figure out how to even read them and couldn't! I tried to expain to her as we read left to right it is very confusing to our brains to keep notes in which to go forward you start at the back and on the back page... She got furious and told me it worked find for her. Really? I don't think I can help her and I can't pay for tutors in 6 subjects! Actually right now I'm wondering if she would even be able to make it through any school. One of the questions - this is 9th grade- _______ is the main crop grown by the Chinese.... She wrote Wheat. Hmmmm ? I asked her to think about going to a chinese restaurant, were there rolls on the table? No. What always come with chinese food? Ummm Rice. OK, anyone else think I'm crazy for freaking out that she didn't understand this? I just am at a loss right now as to how she is going to make it at all. I'm also really angry at the school for letting it get this bad. I honestly don't know what to think. Sorry to rant about this here but I'm really just stunned. She keeps telling me she isn't allowed to take any of her other tests or papers home to show me.
Of course it would never occur to her to thank me for spending about a total of 3 hours today taking notes for her. I'm just so confused. Everything I found that wasn't in her notes of course she says she knows this already... so no I don't think she will let me help her.... I honestly don't know what to do with her... Sorry again!
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I don't understand what you mean by you "taking notes". If you take notes (from a lecture?) how does she learn? Is she left-handed? Enough with the Russian 6-month baby shit. She is now 14 years older than that so it's not an acceptable excuse. Why were you told she would have trouble in school and learning? There is obviously something wrong here. For one thing, that question about rice is a grade 3 level!!! Shame on the school for not contacting you for guidance!! Please get her assessed before she drops out in frustration!!! Seriously. Posted with much love and care. Seriously.
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Barb- a lot of your questions are mine as well. We were told all through grammer school that something is going on with learning and she was tested and tested but nothing ever came of it. It is odd for a while she can be fine and then all of a sudden she doesn't have any short term memory - or some long term. She will not have a clue how to do something like addition. And she really doesn't know or understand then it will come back and she is fine. We have sort of called it a glitch. Sometimes she can write beautifully and then other times her sentences are not actual sentences. In recent years she seemed to have been doing better but perhaps it was the teachers either understanding her learning or what I'm more afraid of is just passing her along. Because her older brother is very smart and it comes very easy for him she has felt very embarrassed and self conscience about it. So when she had tutors she didn't want us to talk about it in front of her brother and such... Anyway, her dad! helped her study for this last test and well he wasn't the greatest student but he did fine. So I don't know... And for it to be every subject I truly do not know! In the past it was math. But now every subject? She has been to learning specialists since she was 6 and no one has been able to give us any clue.... but then it hasn't ever been this bad nor has she ever been this much of a pain either! My ex. is not very good at handling this as his responce is well if she fails she fails... great! Not really helpful. So I have written her advisor and the learning specialists but I just don't have a lot of hope .... I'm just wondering if she will be able to finish any school .... but I don't get why it is so bad all around. And yet when asked she was only really worried about history and science, so that is odd as well.... yes, will continue to ask and try for answers..... maybe a neurologist or neurodevelopmentalist..... oh as to being left or right handed. Interesting you ask. She writes with her write hand but in soccer she kicks with her left foot! And sometimes I notice she eats with her left hand.... so sort of like she never choose.... I know that confuses the brain. I remembered when she was little trying to get her to choose and it was hard as she would keep switching back and forth..... so yes might be something there... but no at least since she could write she has written with her right hand.
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Stanzie I am left handed but use the mouse with my right hand and have always done anything with sports with my right hand so I am not sure if that tells you anything or not? I am wishing you could get some answers. Maybe an entire neuro work up?
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Stanzie, again, don't know if this will help you but my 29 yr old son writes with his right
but does everything else with his left...including sports.....baseball, golf, and kicks with his left foot when playing soccer.0 -
Stanzie, I asked about left hand due to the fact of how she laid out her notes. To her it was logical. She could still be Dyslexic, it's very hard to nail down. Math will only get harder as she progresses through high school. Girls do easy in grade school and boys badly and then they switch. Perhaps the very expensive private school isn't hard enough on her? Like you say, it's easier to just pass her on. Does she have a trade she likes doing? Like cooking? If so, would it be possible to get her to focus on something like that and let the grades fall as they may? Not everyone passes high school, but they can be absolutely BRILLIANT in another area that you have no idea of!! She should be exposed to art, sports, music, cooking, wood working, etc to see where her passion lies and then let her go nuts. For all you know, she could have the cure to cancer inside her head and just doesn't know how to get it out!
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Stanzie,
I agree with Barb - your daughter being neglected until you adopted her at age 6 months could of had some early impairment on her learning processes but it might be more to do with her birth mother while in the womb. Whatever, you have a lovely daughter in front of you that you care about and want to help.
Barb gave you ideas that I agree with. YOU need to make an appointment and go to her school. For all their fancy talk and how much your children like the school, obviously they are ignoring your daughter's basic needs as far as learning goes. And yes, if she isn't dyslexic, then maybe a neurologist should be consulted.
The left and right brain do have very different main thinking paths but in cases of accidents, one part of the brain has been known to take over and do another parts job. Left and right handed. I do most things with my right hand, but needlepoint with my left. I don't think that is the issue.
What is interesting to me is her taking notes from the back of the book. When she finishes, the last she will of written will be on the top page to her, not to the last back page as to us. Doesn't matter either if it works for her.
The stuff about not being allowed to bring graded work home, well they did that at Max's high school and in english, which he struggled with writing, but is an eloquent speaker, well, I had to finally get the principal involved as even the head of the English department refused to email me copies of his graded papers and tests. How could I tutor him (I minored in English) in content and style if I didn't know what he was doing wrong.
Your daughter needs concentrated training to learn the basics of how to learn. If she wants to not feel inferior to her brother, then she needs to take her concentration and work with you to help herself. You should not being doing her assignments but checking them over and guiding her to find correct answers.
You said she is worried about a few subjects but doing badly in all. Truly now she only needs reading, writing and basic maths. Seriously. History can go with reading and writing and biology can go a bit with maths and reading and writing. Get rid of the Spanish. Not required to clutter her brain.
I now don't mean to hurt your feelings or hers but here in Australia I have known of too many kids who have been passed from year to year in private schooling environments, and graduate, yet they are found afterward to have dyslexia, or can't read or do basic sums. In our public schools they seem to really see a students abilities as well as their limitations and try to guide them to study subjects they will enjoy and do well in. Failure never feels good. It is not character building. If they work a cash register, it better add up the purchases, leaving them to enter the amount received so they can push a button to see what change to give back, as they have no idea. At our local produce market, due to lack of electricity from storms, one of the young girls there was in trouble one day as she was trying to add up the purchases on a hand calculator - couldn't do it. I owed her $18.50. Gave her $20 and she said I gave her too much. I said so give me change. She looked at me and said I don't know how much/ sad commentary.
If your daughter can master the basics, then after finishing high school she may find working or doing something in the arts area more to her liking and thinking and creativity. Unless she is going to become a botanist or marine biologist, she doesn't need biology. No need for algebra or geometry. Spanish - no no no. A time waster unless she plans on moving abroad.
With Max's English paper they would give a printout on what things they should cover in their paper and I would just use it like a check list to make sure he had them in the paper. Then I taught him about introduction, body of information and conclusion. Spell check will not help if it's the wrong word, like red vs read. English can be confusing for even those with whom it is their first and only language. We don't speak like all words are spelt.
It may be easier now just to do her work, but it won't help her. And again, I agree with Barbe, growing rice in China is something taught in primary school.
I know what I say about the papers works, as now Max is away from home and he still will email me a paper here and there to proofread and to make comment on content but he has to tell me what he is supposed to convey in the paper and then when he even reads it over himself, he sees errors or omissions he has made. Spelling is way better and so is sentence structure. He also finds with writing papers, to read it out loud to himself helps him.
Let us know how she does. And this will take time, but now is the time.
If your ex can't handle this, then jump in. You are a strong powerful woman.
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Thanks both Barb and Debbie- NO I haven't done any of her work. Her note taking was very difficult to follow and interpret so I was trying to do some so she could see how to do the notes. I also wanted to see if she read my notes after doing her reading if when she went to class today if she was able to get a better grasp of what was going on in class. Then this afternoon, she was to take her own notes after seeing how I was making an outline and notes. She just had such difficulity. Such as there were words highlighted with the definition. She didn't include these in her notes. I asked her if she already knew this and she said it didn't occur to her to notice those??? Another example is there was a side picture and paragraph which she did think of reading?? I honestly don't get it.
She has been tested for dsylexia at least twice but I guess it can be missed? I have written to her advisor and requested a meeting and when you do this the learning specialists will be there as well.
To graduate here is Ga you do have to have a certain number of foreign language credits. But you all are right she may Not be someone able to graduate. She has excelled in many sports but she says she hates them all and refuses to do them. She was asked in 7th grade to practice with the High School team and had been asked if she wanted to swim Varsity this year- she won't do it. Same thing with soccer they have asked her to be on Varsity in the spring, she has already told them she isn't interested. She was doing fabulous with piano, two older kids at her last recital went up to her afterwards asking about the piece she played and how great it was - she now won't play piano. She was interesting in break dancing which Debbie you know about, well she has already given that up.... It is like she has a fear of success! yes been trying to get her to a counselor... basically she blames everything on me. Thanks all! will go and talk to the school tomorrow oh and also just found out that when they are at their Dad's they watch TV all the time, helpful. Anyway, I don't mean to take up this thread about this.... so I apologise, I was just so totally shocked and upset .... so thank you all!
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Stanzie, it is YOUR turn on this thread right now so don't even think about apologizing. As for the TV, big deal. Let it go. Kids need to let their brains rest too. I think you're right about her fear of success!! She is sabotaging her own success in school as well. Please let us know what they say at the meeting as you know we care. She may see you as the "dictator" of school and her Dad as the fun one. Home life with you can't always be school work either. Maybe a regular school would be better for her. Have you asked her about the pressure in her school? What makes it special? Is it just "rich kids", or advanced kids, or what????? Give the school hell about that question on rice, too. If that's what they teach in grade nine get her the heck out of there and you can say I told you so!!!!!
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3jays - fingers crossed for your purchase of a new place to live. Hope it works out
Stanzie - I don't have any children so probably shouldn't jump in here, but in a way I can relate to your daughter. I was very difficult at that age (according to my Mother) and had difficulty in school. No one ever thought I would graduate high school and went on to barely make it through college and then went on to get and MBA and 5 years ago graduated with 4.0, perfect attendance and graduate of distinction with and associate of science in Crime Scene Technology. I decided several things along the way. In high school and college I really did not take notes well at all. I wish they had those programs where they help you learn to take notes and study. This may be part of her situation, the other is that with an adoption, sometimes the genetics are part that no one knows and can affect a person years later. My niece was adopted at birth from Germany and I swear that if I didn't know better you were talking about her. She is now 21 and still having difficulty though she did very well in cosmetology school. I think getting your daughter to a counselor and perhaps a neurologist of some type (can her pediatrician or GP be of any help with referrals?) might be the way to go. I hope things get better as I can hear the frustration coming through in your written words.
I wish I were closer to you and I'd help you with your own paper. I really sounds interesting. If you need someone to proof read or anything, you could email to me and I would be available to help and I am sure my DH would also help as he excells in proofreading. He did it for me in my CST classes and proofs all of my articles I write for our British Car Club's national newsletter as I am secretary of our local club.
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Stanzie - My son (he's grown now, a college graduate, has a job with insurance!) sounds a lot like your daughter. We had him tested a number of times with great variation in his scores but no identified diagnosis. His senior year in high school, he asked for more testing as he couldn't concentrate like the other kids in his AP Physics class. His lab partner was at the top of their graduating class and she scored a 1600 on her SAT exams. We took him to a private doctor that specialized in learning disabilities and he was formally diagnosed with ADD "Innattentive Type" with more extensive testing than he had received through the school district. He qualified for services at the University including a notetaker, test taking in a special center, etc. He was on and off medication and now manages mostly with exercise (and caffeine!). Getting the accurate diagonsis made all the difference. This magazine has had good tips for him too (and me too!) - http://www.additudemag.com/. You clearly are your daughter's best supporter, don't be discouraged.
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Thank you all!!! How totally wonderful you all are! I don't even know what to say!
First it is actually an amazing school that believe it or not specializes in teaching kids how to learn - hmmmm.... It is a prep school but it is very language orientated - not she strenght. Thanks again and I will let you all know what she says. I need to remember one friend recently found a tester who helped diagnoses a kid that had escaped and fallen through the cracks so as soon as I can remember which friend!!! Arg! Surely it will come to me or I'll just start sending out mass emails. She doesn't have any of the "typical" signs but I also know that doesn't mean anything. My son with DS was diagnosed with ADHD for many many years till finally they figured out it wasn't that at all but tourette's - he had very mild tics but being on the correct meds made an amazing difference so I am very open to all of these things....
Golden- thanks so much for writing!
Delilah- wow, aren't you really wonderful.... oh gosh I might actually take you up on that... tomorrow I'll hear the first of the speeches then I'll either feel good about my research so far or ..... well hopefully I'll feel ok... then get to writing once I get things at least starting with my daughter.
You all are just the best!! I can't tell you how much better I feel!
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Stanzie, never doubt that whatever you are dealing with in your life, which is causing your concern, grief, pain - I feel this is the place to go. I finally got it that this discussion is not just about depression but how to deal with life after being diagnosed with BC.....and carrying the worry of mets, or if you have mets, will they shrink and go away with medication and treatment or what? It's the 'what if' that gets me.
It was even good for me, relating to my Max, to hear from Golden and Delilah. It's all learning and growing, even for an old person like me.
I have a brilliant idea. As your daughter was born in Russia, and their first language is Russian, wouldn't/couldn't the school consider her learning English as a foreign language? You know, schools can do anything they want. I got Max's high school to reverse out the D's on his report card so he would have enough semester credits to graduate with his classmates. I told the school it was their responsibility to let me know his grades had dropped from A's and B's to D's & F's and I wasn't aware until I saw the report card. Like you Stanzie, Max was not allowed to bring home any tests or graded papers so I never saw them. I am aware of my responsibility in Max's situation for knowing at home he was spending far too much time watching tv or internet or lying on his bed to be getting acceptable grades but when I asked him he kept saying everything was fine. The school has to own this - not you. Your daughter may think it's all your fault, and why not, as at her age, accepting responsibility for their actions is not a strong suite for many teens.
The fact that all your children do when with their Dad is watch tv, does seem to make you the mean parent, and him the nice parent. If their Dad feels bad about his daughter's failure to thrive in school, then maybe he would like to participate more in their education. I agree all of us need time off, but if your daughter was to spend an hour on Saturday morning and an hour in the early afternoon with her schoolwork, it would go a long way. Then she could have all of Sunday free.
Golden seems to of found the right solution to guide her son. Maybe you might check further with her for guidance. School in the US graduate students that can not read or write. So I get the Georgia requirements, but you can't tell me your daughter is the only one in her school with learning impairments. A private school, usually, in my opinion, here and in Hawaii, boast about how good they are at teaching children with learning disadvantages as well as those students who are accelerated.Her school should be providing tutoring on all the areas you are bring up - such as how to read all the material, how to note take, write a paper, even do a test. For some children it happens easily. Others not.
Most importantly, realize, this is placing a large amount of stress on you, so delve in now, rather than mentally worry about what you are going to do. Action, for me, is easier than contemplation of something I just wish wasn't happening.
Unfortunately, for me, I feel having and steal dealing with BC issues, and being on the hormone inhibitor, Femara, makes me more fragile - interpretation: short tempered, frustrated easily turning to anger, anxious and unhappy.
Go Stanzie, wade in and I will be here for you, as we all will.
3jays: my fingers and toes are crossed you can buy the place next door! You are well past due for something good!
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oh stanzie, where is the joy of motherhood at this moment for you? Try to find small times that you can just enjoy your children. Laugh out loud!!! My kids are older now, but I remember how hard it was through those high school years. Both my kids were on IEPs because of learning disabilities. My DS has dyslexia and mild ADD. My DD missed a lot of school b/c of physical difficulties. Both are finding their way in the world. And when they were dx and being taken out of the regular classroom to have special services (which most of the time they hated). I realized that I had had my own learning disabilities and had never been dx but had learned to cope in my own way. My DS's adviser was not encouraging for him to further his schooling, but he took some time after high school to work (landscaping and carpentry) then enlisted in the Marines. It was all so scary for me, but so necessary for him to get to where he is today. He is in his senior semester at Bridgewater State University majoring in History and minoring in Military History (which requires so much reading). It has taken him longer than others but he is doing it. He will be the first in his immediate family to graduate from college. I couldn't help him much b/c I dropped out after two years of art school and found my way in the world using my hands. Anyway all that to try to encourage you!!!!! This moment in time seems so much more important than other moments in time, but the really important thing is to be present for your kids and pay attention to what they need from you. And that is really hard because it changes every moment. So we are behind you stanzie, you are not alone!!!!!!
3jays, dances of joy and prayers for continued good progress in the change over of living arrangements!!!!
hopeful, the patient 0 crack was just a joke. When I was being tested for whooping cough in the spring, there was an outbreak in the NW US, so the joke was I was patient 0 on the east coast. Not that funny really, esp all these months later.
both my kids have bad colds right now. They have both called me complaining of feeling so bad and coughing so much. And I make little sympathy noises. And they go on about feeling like they might be coughing up a lung and then I get quiet and finally they go oh, you feel like this every day? LOL
barbe, my cough is not productive, just very wheezy and very painful sounding. I always wear scarves so I can cover my mouth. But I am going to take my own advice and just live in this moment and make it as joyful as I can.
Today I will laugh out loud!!!!
join me please.
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Hi Ladies - have been away, and there is so much to catch up on so please excuse me if I don't comment on everyone. had my last Taxotere on Monday, and am over the moon about that, but feel TOTALLY wiped out today.
Stanzie - your daughter is so lucky to have such a caring Mom - she'll be grateful later even if she resents you now. Just a thought - I am sure they have tested for this, but petit mal epilepsy has the symptoms you mention. Sometimes they are fine, and other times they don't have a clue what is going on.
Diane - thanks so much for your advice on the TE. I felt like I was the only one having TE side effects from chemo. I have asked everyone - even the chemotherapy sisters, and they say they have never heard of it. I can't let out anymore fluid, as it is not very full now. Hopefully it will improve now the taxotere is finished.
Kate - terrific news about the scan!! Hope the genetic testing goes well.
Barbe - I am so sorry your kids let you down over the holidays. It is so hurtful. May be you should tell them how you feel. Sometimes they just don't think.
The pink October thing has totally passed me by this year. Haven't seen anything or read anything although my Mom says it on TV all the time. Oh forgot to tell you- my luminous pink bathing cap for Rhodes is only pink because it was the only one left!! It was lovely to read all your comments on the Greek Isles. Scottee - I have just watched " My big, fat Greek wedding" again, and laughed out loud. I do hope your wedding on Rhodes was as full of joy and exuberance.
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Morning Ladies...well guess who is heading back into surgery. I saw my PS yesterday and the cc has gotten worse on the right side. Literally my cleavage is flat and my implant is in my armpit. my PS said it was almost a level 3 cc and will only get worse if not fixed now plus its uncomfortable and my boobs are uneven.
I told my PS am having to work stuff around to get them to look even in my clothes and he said I should not have to do that. I love him...surgery is scheduled for the 29th!! He is gonna widen the pocket clean out all the scar tissue and a little FG so hopefully this doesnt happen anymore. Kate so happy you finally got good news. nice to know nothing is lurking in your body. YEAH!!!
Stanzie sounds like there is definitely more going on with your daughter. When I was 15 I had terrible hearing loss which I really didnt realize I just thought cause I was sitting in the back of the room that I couldnt hear. Then I asked the teacher if I could move and that still didnt help. After failing two classes on of my other teachers (home Ec remember those classes ladies...sewing and cooking LOL how times have changed) realized I wasnt hearing and passed it along to my mother. I had lost 60% of my hearing and required an operation to fix it but it was a very frustrating time. I didnt understand why I couldnt hear in class, felt stupid, just shut down and let the failing grades happen. Your daughter sounds frustrated so either she is not comprehending and has given up or something emotional is causing her to shut down. Either way you will get to root of the problem. Thankfully you are attentive and on top of it. I hope things resolve for her soon.
OK the rest of the week I actually have my tax return to do.
This is the only moment in my life I wish I was not self employed. I am my own worst client with a big messy box of receipts. UGH. Diving in today. Hang in there everyone..hope today is a good one
Diane
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Oh, Stanzie, you have quite a handful don't you? Everyone has given you such good advice and I believe you are doing the utmost to be a great mom. Sometimes, teenagers are just teenagers. Add that to a possible learning issue,and your daughter is probably very frustrated(AS YOU, TOO!) If she had a study strategy that worked for her, it might take away some of her angst. With teenagers its all or nothing--"I can't get my studies,I'm such a failure, so I must be a failure at EVERYTHiNG else!!" Teens are never rational thats for sure. She sounds like she has talents which should help her thru the academic failures--but until she thinks she can succeed at something(her studies) she probably won't use those talents. Maybe she is afraid of disappointing you, and like a teen, takes that to extremes. (ok pulling a little too much from someone I know all too well) All I know is that my two DSs confuse the heck out of me, so I really shouldn't be the one giving any advice!!
Diane--don't you know the rule "put your oxygen mask on first before helping others"? I know you don't make $$ doing your own, but still, this doesn't cost you any in late fees does it?? And I am glad for you that your PS is fixing you up. You will feel soooo much better. And just in time to wear something slinky and sexy for the holidays!
Maddie--WOOOO-HOOOOO!!!Last TX, you deserve to put your feet up so I'll dance for you. . .
Only wish I was that skinny!!!hehehehehe
Well must go outside and do something with the plants and grass I just bought at Lowes. Not sure what I was thinking, guess the mini cool wave that came thru last night got me energized. Its only 85 today!
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Hi cmbear - thanks so much for the lovely dancing figure. It really made me laugh and cheered me up no end!!! You are such lovely ladies. Wish I was that skinny too. These steroids have made me put on a bit of weight.
Diane - I am so sorry to hear about your capsular contraction. These surgeries never seem to end do they. I do hope he manages to sort you out. When I went to the hospital to see the volunteers about headwear whilst having chemo the volunteer told me the reconstruction with TE only lasts about 10 years, and then it will get CC. No one had ever told me that when I was deciding which reconstruction to have.
macatamac - have they tested your lungs for fungal infections? I know it is a difficult thing to cure if it is, but have you tried steaming with tea tree oil. It has anti bacterial and antifungal properties. Worth a try?
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Aww, Diane - I'm sorry but so glad he can fix it and quickly- you DO sound like you have a fabulous surgeon and a caring one!
So my update- you all are SO wonderful.... anyway, didn't sleep last night just too worried and upset so I wrote a long email detailing what I was seeing and some of past observations and sent them to her History Teacher and English and advisor. Got a note back from advisor who went back and read her records... he said he sees the issues and seems like they are getting worse - wether it is teenage growing and hormones or whether it is just being overwhelmed with high school. He does see it. He also acknowledged how she sometimes can get it and then it is just gone.... so he had the "learning specialists" call me. However they didn't leave a message and I was in a meeting so didn't talk to them.
However the meeting was the study group and today's speaker was Amazing! And the intro, well she graduated Harvard law.... and that was just her first of many many accoplishments... However, met one of the other women and wow, she started one of the special learning schools here!!! so talked to her and she recommended a psychiestrist who specializes in brain issues specific to adolescents and children who don't fit the "normal" issues. So feel pretty good about that. Also put in another call to a parent who is also a psychiestrist to see what she thinks about this first doc to make sure she agrees he is a good choice. They can do all the regular testing plus neurological testing... So certainly feel better!!
Now about that paper..... how we ususally talk at someone home well... it is confirmed I get to give my paper at Andrew Young's church! and she said about 4 other civil right leaders! but I sort of blanked out after hearing "Andy Young's" name but maybe Julian Bond and John Lewis... Oh No!!! Once I can feel like my daughter is being seen to I'm going into hibernation I think.... hopefully my brain will join me. Thanks again!!!!!
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Stanzie sounds like great relief in knowing of these resources for your daughter. It is all about networking! How wonderful to be surrounded by people who are so talented! What a great honor for you to present with all of those folks. I would love to read your paper when you are done. You will do a fantastic job!!
Diane sorry for the upcoming surgery but how wonderful to have such a great PS! I am sure the cupcakes help
Maddie yeah on finishing the chemo!!! I hope you pamper yourself and do something special just for you.
matatacmy my daughter and son-in-law are just getting over that nasty upper respiratory thing. Just a virus not strep and hangs on. Wish you could get to the Mayo clinic.
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