Great saying about depression
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mac: you would think with all the fancy equipment and test doctors have nowadays they would be able to figure out why you are coughing so they could treat you properly! Thinking of you.
Maddie: congrats on your last chemo. Been there, done that. Now it does get better.
Diane: CC? so sorry you are going to have to have another surgery but if the outcome makes you happy thats all that matters.
Stanzie: sounds like you are amist intellectuals and the movers and shakers. What a heady experience. Yes, would love to read your paper too!
3jays: any news on buying the place next door? The owner would be smart to carry the mortgage for you, as in the US right now, other forms of earning risk free good interest are at an all time low. Wishing you the best!
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Diane - Oh No! Not more surgery! It does sound as if the PS has your best interest at heart and a good plan for a good outcome. I hope it all goes well.
Stanzie - sounds like you are getting some good support for your DD. I am sure the professionals can help, but you would think that it would have dawned on the teachers and advisor that something was wrong and approached you instead of letting it slide until you had to approach them. Almost seems like the private school is only out for your money and not managing their students. I am sure you will wow everyone with your paper. Don't let everyone else's achievements put you down but rather rise above them.
Maddie - good to know you are through with chemo.
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Thanks All! Got an apt for the Monday after Thanksgiving but am on the cancellation list so hopefully we will get in quicker.
Maddie- Congratulations - Now you really get into recovery mode and will start to feel better.
Mac- I hope you can get answers soon.
Kate... how you are doing ok...
Last night I was so looking forward to a good night's sleep after staying up all night- well don't know what on earth Alfie ate but woke up to him throwing up all over the bed... That wasn't much fun. I took him down and let him out but when he came back in he didn't want to go back upstairs and I mean he totally refused. I think his tummy was really hurting so he slept right at the door and I tried to sleep on the sofa.... Wish I knew what he ate...
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Stanzie, I know you won't appreciate this, but it seems Alfie will eat any and every thing he comes across that catches his eye. Jaki used to bring me the run-overed dead toads along the driveway, and they are poisonous, but found out that by the time Jaki was getting them, no poison. Anyway, I then taught her she couldn't eat anything until I gave her the command that it was ok. Jerry thought I was being mean as I started doing this with her dinner, lengthening the time until I said 'ok' but now I can literally put her dish down and she sits and looks at it, I can leave the kitchen and come back and she is still waiting for the command. I don't know, but after that she seemed to stop bringing me dead things. And I was ever so lucky she didn't go through the puppy chewing everything stage. You should of named her 'Trouble'! hope you get a good night's sleep.......
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i've been missing, I know, but you ladies have been busy busy..hahaha
I'm first off: so happy that you got good news, Kate... now, no more worrying about mets yeah!!!we all worry, but when they're poking at us.arrgggh...
i can't even begin to address all you've been talking about, but Stanzie, im so glad you're getting your DD tested. had my own challenges, with one of the jays.. it was pschiatric, and took a long time, but he is doing well, now.. works for ATT and does well..drives an 18,00 car, almost all paid in cash, and is now looking for a honme to buy.. somehow, they manage.. but, we do have a hard time GETTING them to the pint they can figure out their own lives!!!
so, the house very well may work out.. we still have to talk to the lawyers, do a contract.. things have changed a bit in the finances.. it will be the same as renting here, but we'll OWN i never rented before, and don't want to again!!!
tommorrow, (today now) i'm going to 4 appts. checking heart, kidneys, lungs.. the new GP works with the elderly,, but accepted me, because of all my issues.. i usually " interview" my drs.. but this one YOU have to ualify for!!!
I wish you could see her, too, mac.. right away, she said the edema in my feet and hands isn't normal. the heart loses its elasticity with chemo, it shows up 3 to 5 yrslater.. (im 3) so, right away, aheart pet tommorrow. i hope its okay.. i was going to use the cardio i've had, but I find he's missed a lot of tests i should've had post chemo; so i'm going with hers.. fingers and toes crossed for that, and the 3 ! us's they're doing..
I have been packing, packing, and resting in between.. i'm in a Little hole, full of anxiety, but I won't hear the results till the 26th, so im trying to just ride it out. thanx Barbe, for the prayers.. i can use all I get these days..sorry your kids were so mean for thanksgiving.. i know how THAT is..
im off to bed.. back in a day or two, i hope....3jays
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Fingers, toes and eyes crossed it all works out home-wise 3jays!! Is the unit pretty much the same as yours? Same porch exposure for plants? Is is smaller, bigger, newer, brigher?????? 2 weeks is a long time to wait to hear good news....
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Hi all, my bp meds got switched up. I felt like I was slowly drying out. So hopefully this new med will work better. My PCP wants to figure out why my heart is under such a strain. So I did a bunch more blood work and am waiting for results. This feels never ending. Heart, lungs and now there're looking at my liver too. I have to wait through the weekend now.
3jays yeah I want to see your doc too! Hope all your tests go smoothly and you get good results.
Stanzie, happy that you got a response from your DDs teachers and that you have a meeting set up.
Maddie are you getting ready for your trip? So glad you made it through the last treatment!!! Whoop!! Whoop!! Rest up.
Debbie, you must have lots of patience to train your dog like that. I can make my dog sit to wait for her dinner, but I could never leave the room. I have to admit she is getting better, she will turn 2 next month.
So barbe any funny stories? I really need to laugh this weekend.0 -
mac - my Jaki has grown into being a big dog at 55 pounds and strong, so since I am only 110 pounds, I need her to obey me. And, truthfully I am a little short on patience with myself, better with others, but I am determined and very stubborn. Sure hope the change in your medications help you to feel a bit better. As a RN, sounds good to me that they are checking your liver, as it is the filter for our body, while our lungs inhale fresh oxygen and the hearts job is to pump the unoxygenated blood to your lungs and then repump the oxygenated blood throughout your system. If the pump and filter, one or both, are not working to a certain efficiency level, then the lungs won't work so well either. Each part of our internal organs is dependant on other parts, kind of all entwined together. Wishing you some improvement soon. If they did more blood tests, hopefully it will show a path to what is acting up in your body. Thinking of you.
barbe: your kids sound like they need a good old ass kicking. You are their mother. Is there not respect and grattitude for that? And I feel you have been a very loving and caring Mother, when given the chance. What, do they write you off as you don't have the physical stamina to babysit a 2 year old all day? I sure don't and I don't have the back pain you do (some with 3 discs slipped and sciatia nerve pinched), nor a piece of equipment in me for my heart, nor the constant level of pain you deal with. They really don't deserve someone as special as you....and didn't you design and decorate your DIL's bedroom a while ago?
I guess I lucked out with my Max. At 19, he still loves me and says so, even in front of other people if we are parting. He travels with me and takes control as with my 50% hearing loss, and the background noise, I am at a loss at hearing what the agent behind the ticket counter is saying or the security people or immigration or customs. I am actually afraid to fly without him unless I wore a tee shirt that said ' I'm not stupid, just deaf!'
I see many grown children nowadays only appreciate their parents if they can provide free childcare or money. Sad.
..hope this is okay, my spell check won't work.........
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Debbie, I forgot about your hearing loss! I, too, am deaf; I have a "cookie-bite syndrome" where I hear only the highs and the lows and miss all the in-between stuff. My kids say they love me to my face, but I'm confused often by their actions. I just emailed my DD to say I want to see her next week to give her her birthday present (from July!!). We'll see what she says...sigh. I was talking with another bco sister yesterday who is having similar trouble with her grown sons. It seems like the kids think they're running OUR lives and we must do their bidding. When did that change happen????
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Took me this long to think of a cute story!!! I was upstairs sewing my little heart out and came down to relate this one. I'm from Vancouver and my DD who was about 4.5-5 at the time and my son who would have been 7 or so were flying out to see Grandma. They'd been on planes before but not old enough to remember.
So, my daughter wants a window sink, because, as she explained to the plane, she was "GOING TO LOOK FOR TINA'S HOUSE". I'd never had to explain to my kids about "inside voices" as they were really well behaved, but my daughter was pretty sure that everyone on the plane wanted to hear what she had to say. So as we rose, she started looking at all the rooftops. With dismay on her face she turned to me and said she didn't know what colour of roof Tina's house had..... As we rose above the clouds her mood rose with us. "NOW WE CAN LOOK FOR CARE BEARS!!!", she announced as the clouds lay below us. I told her that was a good idea and to let everyone know when she saw one. She was asleep in no time. The flight was pretty uneventful until we began to circle the airport in Vancouver. Her last words of wisdom to the plane? "WOW!!!!!! WE'RE GOING DOWN!!!!!"
She was much more sedate on the return flight and doesn't remember any of this to date - of course!
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Oh Barb! That is so sweet! I think you need to remind her of this story on FB sometime!Very sweet!
So today woke up to find yesterday there were 2 robberies on my street! one 3 doors down. Some of you might remember I was robbed last year, Sept 24th and walked in on them.... so I'm kind of freaked out. They used crowbars to break in and the alarms were disarmed in both cases.
Also found the cause of my hand/wrist pain- tendonitis - I think from writing and taking notes for the crazy paper! LOL! Didn't figure it out till I left the Doc's office, but he was asking if I could have hit my hand and I said oh course I bang myself all the time.. so he thinks about this a second and recounts some of my recent mishaps and say ok here is a presc. for pain meds and some samples. I'm to go back in 45 days for more bloodwork he says- hopefully won't see you before.... sigh...
Today we are celebrating my boy's birthday -16!!! And Alfie's he is 1! No interest in driving from my one son so kinda nice. Made a cake and planning a nice fancy dinner for one and popcorn shrimp for the other and then lots of chocolate! Going to the store... hopefully they still make Frosty Paws for Alfie!
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Alfie's getting popcorn shrimp???? Won't that give him diarhea???? So scary about the break-ins too. I guess they figure your house has been "done". Yikes on the disabled alarms!!! What's the point then???
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Maddie...forgot to mention YEAAAAHHHH on your last treatment!! I hope that your body recovers smoothly and quickly so you get to really enjoy that trip!!! Yaahhhoooo
3Jays I hope you get your neighbors unit...that sounds aweome.
Claire -- I hate doing my taxes thats why I procrastinate..I just was hoping to have time in the last month to do it but if I have an opportunity to make money I will take it. I will have it done tomorrow.
I am off today for a BC charity event...its one a friend of mine organizes in memory of her mom who died 15 years ago. Its a great event and every year it gets bigger and bigger. Under Armour is a big sponsor and holds the event at their plant in the City. Really looking forward to the day.
Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Diane
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ok barb, you made me LOL. we're going down. ha ha ha
I have severe ringing in my ears so can't hear a whole lot. While I was at biofeedback the other day I had to get the therapist to keep moving closer to me so i could hear the guided imaging she was telling me about being safe. We are still working hard at it, but I am just full of anxiety. But I am working on laughing more. I often have to say to clerks and cashiers please speak up, I don't hear well. The last time it was at a coffee shop, the owner's little girl was taking orders and I could not hear what she was asking me, and I could not see her mouth, I felt bad when her father had to come over to take my order. But she did get to count out the change.
Stanzie I hope your party (ies?) went well. scary about the break ins!
Diane, glad you got to go to a event. Hope you had a great time.
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mac, I've been "deaf" for so long that I don't even care now. I get to block a whole bunch of crap out of my head! I wore hearing aids for about 5 years but HATED hearing everything!!! I won't answer a clerk that doesn't look up at me when they ask "next" or "what did you want?". I wait until they are looking at me and then I answer. Sometimes they blush because they know they were being rude but usually they don't get it. But if I can't see their mouths, then I don't get it!! I HATE the phone and don't talk to anyone on it. Don't even know why I have one...oh, yah, doctors' appointments!!!!! I'm not too bad at a doctor as it is one-on-one usually. Bad in a clinic situation, though. I think it's why I did so good in school and sales as I REALLY had to concentrate to hear the person talking!! One time when my Dad was beating me he got me around the head a bit too much and I think he did some damage. I also remember horrid earaches as a child. I remember being told by my siblings that the earwig bug would crawl into my ear and make it hurt!! I wanted to rip my ear off my head!!!!0
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When I was thinking about a cute story yesterday afternoon I was recalling when our dog ate the top of our wedding cake. (Still don't remember how he got it....
as it was supposed to be in the freezer). We were supposed to take it out for the christening of our children. Anyway I was on a gameshow here in Canada called "Definitions" and they wanted a "cute story" to tell as they introduced me to the audience and they chose the dog eating the cake incident. When they asked me what we did for the christening then, I told them that we invited the dog, of course!It seemed funnier at the time....sigh.
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You know Barbe.....I was just thinking about what you said about your father and beating
You in the head/ear....I'm 65 and was raised in Scotland. This was kind of the method
of "punishment" for kids .....you got a "clipping around the ear"....I wonder how many parents have left their children now with ear damage and/or deafness. I have tinnitus....
have had it for more than twenty years. I should, according to the professionals have some deafness. They can't figure out why my hearing is so good. I do have to live with
The ringing in the ears 24/7 however, makes me crazy😁0 -
Oh, the ringing in the ears.... It use to be just a crickets chripping sound, but since I've been on so many meds it is more of a constant high pitched ringing. When I was at the ENT doc last, he started looking around for his tuning fork to test my ears, but never did find it so that never got addressed. Oh well, seems to be low on the list of priorities at this point. For me it's subtitles and close captioning.
barbe, you were on a game show?! Come on more stories.
I was a wild child. Never thought things out, actually now that I think about I don't think I was thinking at all. I never had a wedding cake and I was married twice. We did serve Oreo cookies at one of the after parties. I was not into the planning a big wedding. It was usually a last minute, oh my gosh the marriage licence is running out tomorrow. I would do it differently now. LOL
So does anyone know of the CRP (high sensitivity) test? I had that done last week and it came back high 7.7. Does that have to do with the heart or the liver? I had another test come back positive about the liver, but needed to have more tests to confirm and get a true dx. so I am waiting for those results and not happy about any of it.
It's a gray, drizzly day here. I get to go out to lunch with my perfect brother and his perfect wife today. (can you see a touch of resentment?) My life just seems so messy when compared to theirs. Oh well, you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family. I once made the comment that maybe I was a little nuts to have a second child to my sister in law, and she said that she had planned each of her children and her life was just fine. (refer to earlier line about me not planning much of anything in advance)
I love my life and I love my children and wouldn't change any of it!
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Mac....interesting my tinnitus started out sounding like "crickets" also but, like you now,
it's a constant high pitched sound. As you say though, it's low on my list of priorities these days.
Mac....there are many of us who don't have family around....I have only one brother
who lives in San Jose and I'm in Toronto. He's not perfect, but I do love him dearly
and would give my eye teeth to be able to have lunch with him today.......go easy on your brother and sister-in-law.....you're right, we can pick many things but not family....lol0 -
scottie, you are right about having family around. My family has really shrunk in the last few years and he is my only living sibling. Since our father died a year and half ago we only seem to talk about business and real estate matters. I know it is alot about my insecurities and how I feel about my life, not actually how they feel, since I can't read their minds. My brother was always the jester. So hopefully we will keep this lunch light on the emotional side.
After my mother died, 3 years ago, I had to fight my SIL for my mother's jewelry and the right to have her service in a church. It was very hard for me emotionally. My mother had been sick for 5 years and I had been the one that was the main caretaker along with my father. So the weekend after she died, my SIL and brother wanted to go through all the jewelry and parcel it out. I was the only daughter left and I have a daughter. They have 3 boys. It just really hurt and it felt like they had just been waiting for her to die. I wear my emotions on my sleeve so everyone can see them, she seems to have no emotions at all.
I have not even talked to her since I was dx last year at this time. I feel like she thinks I am contagious (another episode of me putting thoughts in her head).
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Mac....I hope you got your mother's jewelry, of course you should have it!!!!, yeah families.....Mac....just be the better person, go there, and as you say, keep it light, try to forget all the hurtful things for a couple of hours. Enjoy that lunch and think about the rest of us who would love to be in your place.....perfect or not......enjoy, please.
PS....my brother became a Buddhist many years ago and I think some of his Buddhist
philosophy is starting to rub off on me, either that or BC now where I seem to have
developed much more sympathy, empathy, understanding and maybe, just maybe
Forgiveness for family and friends who behave like idiots from time to time.0 -
oh scottie, I will try. I had to fight for every peice of jewelry that I got, and some of it was my sister's that had died some years before that. Oh well, as my mother would say it is water under the bridge now. And it is just stuff.
I am just not in a great strong emotional space right now. I am going to take a shower and try for an atitude adjustment. It will be fine. I will pretend everything is fine and they will be blissfully unaware.
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mac, great advice is "fake it till you make it". If you pretend to be happy, you will become happy!
I feel badly for those of you with tinnitus!! It must drive you out of your mind!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes when I wear my earplugs at night (have to as DH snores) I get a ringing, but then I just take out the plug and re-insert and it's better. To live with that all the time is just mind-boggling. Another "hidden" disease that people don't understand, I bet!!Scottie, I bet you're right about the clip around the ear causing hearing damage!! My Dad was a cop for a very short time and told us all sorts of tricks. He told me he could breack every bone in my body and not leave a bruise. But I always had the bruises to prove the beating...sigh. I was the only kid (3rd of 4) who got beaten. Probably because I cried. We used to have a wide flat board that was titled "Board of Education" and used for beatings!! But my Dad either used his hands and feet on me or his belt. I'd take the belt any day!!! I found a pic on Google...good old Google!
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oh my gosh, what a change in atitude about child rearing and education. eh?
I got the paddle from the rubber ball bouncing toy with the ball and elastic torn off. What a way to turn a fun toy into an instrument of torture. It was always kept on top of the refrigerator.
I survived lunch with my brother and wife. They are getting back on the boat this afternoon. I just faked it and made it through. They asked how I was and I said okay and that was that. On to the next subject.
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Barbe sorry to hear about your beatings. I never did, but my dad always threatened me with the leather belt and I was so terrified of that thing that I more or less behaved .
I think that's how a lot of kids were raised in our time, through fear.....worked for me. Never got into trouble or got pregnant. Did ok in school...that's all they cared about. I think....whether you were happy or not was immaterial.0 -
Scottie, my crime was usually laughing too much at the dinner table!! The tension was SO great I just couldn't stand it! We were taught "children are to be seen and not heard." It was so hard to be quiet until asked. So I giggled out of nervousness. We had to call our Dad, "Sir".
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Barbe your dad sounds more like an army officer than a police officer. I also was raised
with the idea that children should be seen but never heard. How things have changed today.....I think now it' s parents should be seen but never heard....lol0 -
Barb- how horrible, I'm so sorry! I'm actually not feeling well at all today - feel like I have the flu but have heard it is a 48 hour thing going around... anyway, had to pop in the popcorn shrimp was for my son with Ds as they are his favorite- Not Alfie- LOL! I did buy him one of those dreadful pig's ears for his birthday and he was soooooo happy! He didn't even mind the vacuume cleaner... he also got a bit of vanilla icecream. Sorry about everyone' ear issues!
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Barb - So sorry to hear about you childhood rearing. LOL about the "board of education", I remember it well
Mac - First, the paddle from the bouncing ball..my 2nd grade teacher had one of them she called "her little red helper" as I am of the era when teachers could use a paddle, I was on the receiving end of it a few times and it always involved "boys" I never got in trouble with the girls, only the boys! I also got sent to the princilple's office in first grade for "kissing" on the school bus with a 2nd grade boy. Second - CRP stands for C-Reactive Protien. It is an indicator of inflammation and was on the verge of becoming a useless test until some new research found that it is a good indicator for inflammation in some heart disease. I am a medical technologist and have worked in the laboratory for many years. I mostly am in blood banking but worked part time in a hospital chemistry lab and it was a test we sent out all the time. Don't know if this is helpful and certainly don't want to scare you. It used to be a test for general inflammation and still can indicate that.
Still in my sling from the rotator cuff surgery. See ortho this week to discuss starting physical therapy. Of course there will be the wait for worker's comp. to approve it all. I am so ready for this to be over. Am hopimg the PT might help some of the tightness issues I still have fron reconstruction. The shoulder still hurts and since I have to work, i know I have overdone some.
Hope everyone has a good week.
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Well, didn't we have a bunch of parents who loved us so much and wanted to do right in raising us that they smacked us in the head with their hands, took boards to us and ping pong paddles. Gee, and I thought I was the only kid raised with full hand slaps across the face, wooden coat hangers broken over my back and butt, and then there was the 'ever ready' man's leather belt strap' kept handy on the kitchen towel rack. Ugh.....no wonder I have never raised a hand to my son or any of my dogs.
As to families, no, we can't choose them, but if they cause us pain and suffering, other than what our own children bestow upon us, let it and them go from your world. My Mom died when I was 10 - her wedding ring, fur coat and jewelry box went to my Mom's brother (my only Uncle) and his wife. Uncle's wife died 6 months later and when he remarried shortly afterward, I saw MY mother's diamond wedding ring on her finger. Balls. Burning Anger. My Mom's Mom, my Nanna, had diamond stud earrings, and she always told me when she died they would be mine as first girl grand-child (there is one younger girl grand-child).....well, shocker or shocker, who showed up wearing the earrings, but my Aunt! So then and there I resolved one day I would have my own diamond ring and earrings and they would be mine as I would buy them.......and I did - I didn't even let Jerry buy my wedding ring.
Then, and this is funny, after my Mom died when I was 10 (not the funny part) and I was sent to live with my step-Mom, well she had this beautiful set of china that was only used at Christmas and Thanksgiving and kept in the dining room on display. She liked me and felt bad as she knew I got zip from when my Mom died as a keepsake so she always told me I could have the china when she died. When I was 24 she died within 3 months of liver cancer. I visited every weekend, flying from Los Angeles to San Francisco - expensive but it's what I did. She died and they pulled out her will. Before they opened it, her family talked of who would take what from her house and her belongings - wedding ring, ruby ring, furniture. I said she had wanted me to have the china and that would be my wish. Her family said I wasn't family, I was a step-daughter and wasn't included in this. Well, they had locked her house up and I had no key. The night after her funeral, I stacked firewood I found under her bedroom window, pried the window open with the bar I found in the trunk of my rental car and literally stole the 12 piece place setting of china, of course with the serving pieces. When the will was finally read, she had made her nephew executor (and he couldn't even read), me the major benefactor. I got 1/3rd and her 11 nieces and nephews the other 2/3's. She said this was as before my Dad slipped into his alcoholism, he had helped pay for the house, their only asset and I deserved part of it - it was the right thing to do. Well, in 1975 it was $11,000 and a lot of money to me, but nothing was as sweet as having the china, which to this day I use every day! And, not one person ever said anything to me about the 'missing' china. I truly savoured the china more than the money.
Families should of learned to play nice but some just can't seem to understand that. Sad.
When I was a week before having my double mastectomy, I emailed my girl cousin about her son's accomplishments I saw on FB with his education. She wrote back and asked how we were. I wrote back and said I had BC, and was heading next week for a DM. No response. Two weeks later I get a lovely 'get well' card in the mail. No note. Never heard from her until a few months ago, wanting to know if we still had a condo on Kauai as they wanted to go there for vacation (a freebie). I wrote back 'NO'. And she is a RN?
Ah, family.
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