Great saying about depression
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Oh Barb, that is soooooo sweet! I'm so happy for you! I know what you mean about trust. I'm like that with one of my sisters - as long as I remember to be very careful as to what I say or do and keep the conversation primarily about her it goes ok but boy if I forget she slams me.... so I last time I saw her I actually wrote notes to myself so I'd remember.... she can turn things around very quickly. But enjoy it while it lasts! Especially your Grandson!
Debbie- the roof???
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Barbe....what a beautiful picture....you are glowing ....I hope someday I will have a grandchild.....kind of hard to imagine at the moment as neither one of my boys has a serious girlfriend and they are 29 and 26......come on boys I want that same glow on my face......so happy for you Barbe.
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barbe, I love that picture of you!!! It really doesn't take a whole lot to make us happy, does it? Enjoy the afterglow as long as it lasts.
Claire, my hometown is your home town, I think. Orlando? I'll be there Nov 7th-11th.
Debbie, I have plants high above my kitchen window, too. So you can see out, but still have the feeling of plants. So I climb up to water them also. Hope your back is feeling less sore today.
I had another icky day. I went down into the shop to get the credit card machine b/c I have to cancel the lease on the darn thing. Well, there was water on the floor by the furnace. All my stuff is at least 2" off the floor (I have learned that lesson the hard way). So I have to call the heating guy. Then I come up and have to call the credit card machine guy, I was on hold for 30 minutes. So finally I can "buy" out my lease to stop the automatic payment being taken out of my bank account. Then the furnace guy tells me I have to replace some cast iron piping as soon as possible, but he won't be back until tomorrow. Then a customer calls to tell me he has found the perfect cobbler to replace me, he could just come over and work in my basement or maybe buy the business. Well, in my emotional state I wasn't thrilled to think about being replaced. All this time the PCP has not called and I know the test results are in! I took the dog for a run at the dog park (she runs, I walk slowly) I come home and call the Boston hospital to see if they will renew my prescription for my cough suppressant med(they are not sure I have to talk to doc) , then I say I want to cancel my appt the day before Thanksgiving, so get switched to another person, who says why do I want to switch appts and I'm like who wants to travel to a big city the day before Thanksgiving? He says next appt is Jan 2nd. I said I don't care anymore. So he puts me through to reception where I have to explain how I feel to the woman at the front desk and she ends with well I'll have the doc call you. I ended up taking an anti anxiety pill and going to bed.
Then my ring that I bought while my DD and I were in St John in May broke. It was not expensive, but I really liked it. So as we all know tomorrow is another day. And I have to admit I like these anti anxiety pills, cause I am feeling alot better than this afternoon. LOL
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Oh Mac!!! (((HUGS)))! I'm so sorry what a dreadful day all the way around. That is one of the days I just want to crawl in bed and cover my head and make it go away..... I'm so sorry, I just hate days like that! But wow that is so mean of that person to say they have the perfect replacement, did they actually hear what they said? Tomorrow has to be better!! Maybe someone you talked to you at the Doc's office got it that you were overwhelmed and upset and the Doc will make things right in the morning and you get some good news! Hang in there...
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barbe - great picture and I love the hats. It sounded so nice the time you spent reading with grandson - so special and glad the evening went well.
debbie - I too am concerned about you climbing and falling. After suffering 2 falls in a month and having had elbpw surgery for brokenelbow and rotator cuff repair as a result - so please be carefull
pt - how are you revovering from you fall?
hugs to everyone
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Delilahbear, thanks for asking. Still doing PT. Thumb is giving me heck. PT wants ortho to evaluate before it is stressed further but at least I can do a few things for which I am grateful.
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Delilahbear, thank you for your concern. When I slipped off the stool getting down from the counter-top, it was just being tired and doing it after dinner and not remembering to take off my slippers. My foot just slipped out of the slipper and smack on my back to the tile floor. My ass has a good size bruise, but no swelling (hard to tell, it's my ass), but no lump. Sitting too long is painful and makes me stiff. Walking and doing things makes me feel better.
I appreciate all of your concern, and will keep in mind I am now 60, and not quite so flexible. I am feeling less stiff today and was easily able to be in the paddock when I received two more horses. One, Manny, he is so sweet, and doesn't know me, but immediately put his head on my shoulder and sighed and wasn't happy until I had my arms around his neck. He is over 16 hands, so he is a big guy. The other is a mare, also loving and gentle but looks like she may have some joint issues and I need to get a farrier out here fast as her hooves are split and turning up from not being trimmed. Sad, people want horses, but in these economic times they fall behind with the cost of a farrier, worming medication, annual vaccines and feeding. Luckily with the last rain, there is more grass in the paddocks, so right now the only horse requiring daily feeding is the old mare Zofty - she is 29. I run like a foster home for horses. I know, sounds crazy.
mac: I can truly understand the words on finding the perfect cobbler to replace you hurt, but people don't always think before they speak. Maybe consider seeing this person and having him/her buy your equipment and your client list. Then you can play with the money! Or keep as a nest egg.
ptdreamers: who would of thought one used a thumb so much. I wouldn't until you made me think about it! Does sound like it's improved a little with PT? yes? ...and PT results take time and many sessions.
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pt, I was thinking how important that opposable thumb is too!! Amazing what you don`t know you`ve got till it`s gone, eh???
mac, as I read, I realized that the old customer gave you a HUGE compliment! Obviously he`s been looking and looking for a cobbler to `replace`you and it took this long to find one and (s)he is PERFECT!!! Just like YOU were!!! Try that spin on, sister! Now, what appointment were you cancelling????? Don`t do that! You need answers sooner rather than later, sweetie!
Thanks for the feedback ladies, I now see the glow you`re talking about. That is my joy as a NaNa!!!
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Hey ladies! Hope everyone is well.
I have had a hectic weekend as my friend with the lung issues has been hospitalized. She has a very serious bacterial lung infection and has dropped down to 80 lbs. She is a terrible eater and patient. I am glad she is someplace that will take care of her and make her rest. They sent in a dietician to discuss how important nutrition is...you would think a 64 year old would get it by now but now...she loves sweets and chips and candy and never eats veggies or fruits. They gave her medical marijuana (in pill form) to increase her appetite and make her eat. She was told she needs to gain 10 lbs and waiting for her to respond better to anti-b's before they release her. The good news was with all the testing there was no cancer.
As I ge ready to head into another revision I am going to be taking a step back from the boards. I am trying to refocus myself into getting back into healthy shape and back to life with friends and not just secluding myself at home with my pets. I love everyone here and will continue to read and will check in here and there but I cant spend everyday on here while trying to move forward. Its just what I need to do for me for now.
Please PM me anytime...I love you all and will be back hopefully healthier than ever in every way.
Love to all...hugs to alll
Diane
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Diane- Wish you well on your revision!!! Glad your friend doesn't have cancer! Whew! Will PM you!
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Diane, I understand about your moving away from the boards! I've done it a couple of times and reduced my "favourites" list to almost nothing. There are only about 5 threads that I follow and are important to me and two of them aren't even about cancer!! So good luck with your revision and enjoy the feeling of freedom as you gently break the ties with bco. I look forward to hearing from you every once in a while...dog stories or breasts, keep 'em coming!!
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so with you Diane! The best with your surgery!
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Diane, will miss you but understand. I too wish you wellness and health.
Still waiting for one more test panel to come back. We are trying to get all docs together for a team meeting. It's scary and supportive at the same time.
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Diane, best of luck with your revision surgery. Come back here and visit once in awhile.
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where has everyone been? im just here to check in.. but noones been here for days and days.. just wanted to letcha know im okay, packing, and trying to get ready for 'the move" been pretty down lately, but the stress is killing me, nasty to everyone, and tired/too tired for sleep arrggghhh..
anyway, i hope you all are doing well.miss you guys, but i know everyone's busy these days.3jays
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3jays: I know you are tired and stressed due to the move, but at least it's a positive move to your very own home! Wish you could get your boys to help you.
I think I'm coming out of my depression funk and getting on with life. Catching up on lots of chores and work here on our property and inside/outside the house......plumber, electrician, termite inspector, termite barrier, and today, irrigation guy to service the pump which brings our dam water up to irrigate my garden areas..oh and I went to the dentist three times and only have two more visits - ugh.
Trying to take better care of myself and not be a raving bitch to my DH because of the Femara, or my back hurts or I'm tired.
I never could of gotten to this progressive point after BC without all of you. Now I'm dealing with some anxiety as so much is going on. Am imposing on myself rest periods during the day. One mid-morning for half an hour and same in afternoon, have a cool drink and read a book or magazine.
I am just so happy you and DH got the mortgage so you can have your own home again!
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Hello all, I slipped over the edge for a few days, but am back now. My DS is coming home for the weekend in a few hours. That will give me a boost. we have to do some getting ready for the big storm that is coming. So it is great timing on his part. I think he was a bit worried about me too.
My docs have teamed up and talked to each other and put me on an antidepressant while I try to cut down on all the steroids. I feel like I don't know who this person is anymore, she looks like me, but I don't know where me went. OH well, I am where I am and it is what it is.
justagirl, glad you feel like you are coming up out of the muck. I am learning to conserve my energy. Rest is good. I have a button the kids gave me last Christmas that says "I've gotten to the age where happy hour is nap time" It is very true.
My furnace got a crack in it last week. So just dealing with the normal life stuff can feel so overwhelming. It finally got replaced on Tuesday. A week of water leaking onto the basement floor.
3jays, good to hear from you. Are you being spared the wind from this storm? I think it is mainly on the east coast. Lots of boats being hauled these last few days, here.
A friend sent me this quote this week
Oh, the comfort- the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person.
Having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but just pouring them all right out, just as they are.
Chaff and grain together
Certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them
keep what is worth keeping and with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.
Dinah Craik (1859)
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GREAT quote mac!!! It's like what we are like here with each other. A safe venue to feel sorry for ourselves if needed....
3jays DID you get the mortgage? I thought you weren't finding out until the 27th?? If so, congrats to you!! Take this time to PURGE!!!! I threw out and gave away 1/2 of what I owned when I moved here two years ago. Some halfway houses were very happy with my furniture and books and clothing and kitchen suff donations. As well, Goodwill got a ton. Then we had a one-day JUNK truck come that took away all the rest. Kids didn't want anything, so tough!! Someone else will benefit! I think they thought if they took something they'd have to help! I got rid of 1/2 my clothes on the move and another half about a month ago. I feel bad when there is nothing wrong with something, and I remember what it cost, but I haven't worn if for 6 years so so....I FINALLY got up enough nerve to get rid of those kinds of clothes and just have what I wear on a daily basis. And only clothes that FIT. None of this...one day...thinking. It's so freeing!! And many, many people will be thrilled with my work clothes and all my pretty sweaters that are now too hot for me!
Debbie, I HAVE to lie down every 3-4 hours whether I want to or not as my back gets too painful to bear anymore weight. That's what's really stopping me from going back to work. Where can I lie down for a couple of hours to de-stress my back? It breaks up my work day at home so I don't do too much as well. BUT, on the other hand, it keeps me from doing something I enjoy as well! My son had us over on Saturday for a big get-together. He had us come at 4. Everyone else was coming a 6-6:30!! Well, by the time they came and the barbecue was ready I was in tears and had to leave!!! Left at 7:30 when the party was just starting. Was angry that he had us come over so early!!!! When I get into a real sewing rhythym I also need to break the fun and go lie down. If I don't, I'm just beyond pain and it's so not worth it.
Had FOUR biopsies on Wednesday, including the abdominal one. I made him show me everything that came out of me. EEEEEWWWWW!! The abdominal one was about 2-3" of yucky yellow blobby dripping things off his forceps!!! I have to wait until Nov 12th for the pathology as he is on call the following week and this Monday is too soon for results. I'll be nervous if he calls me in too soon!!
Keep us posted mac, you might feel a LOT better OFF those steroids!!
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I've been working on my paper so just a quick pop in.... 3-jays I agree with Debbie- wish your sons would help with the move. It is in the same complex, yes? If you can throw away things - great! Barb- I'm trying I'm just terrible as in I think but what if I need that sometime, don't want to have to re-buy it... I KNOW! very silly.... I think what did it I hired this "organizer" and she talked me into getting rid of some of my black flats.. Well it has been almost 10 years and I still can't find any black flats that fit me or are as comfortable as the ones I had so I keep thinking out how I so wish I hadn't given them away.....
Biopsies? Yipes Barb - and you were awake? Oh no no no......
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I had a TON of freezing put in, which hurt a lot, but felt only pressure as he cut. A couple of times I did feel the scalpel and he just froze more. Because it's such a clean cut, there's not much pain until after. I didn't like feeling blood running down my sides and I didn't like hearing the cauterizer crackling, but it was cool to watch him stitch the four areas up. Because it was a scalpel and not the "staple gun" biopsy, there is ony mild pain. I can handle mild. But I do wonder how much I'd feel if I didn't have my morphine on board!
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Gee whiz barbe, you are brave! Fingers crossed for good outcomes on the biopsies.
Stanzie: yes, I don't like throwing out clothes that are comfortable. ballet slippers are really 'in' here now, all colours, textures and prices. I love them. I wear either them or rubber thongs. I know, no hope for my lack of style sense. I do give away things I don't like or never wore to the salvos. Also am now starting to go through the whole house and get rid of anything I can. I hope to start redoing the inside of the house March 1st, so want to make it easy for the painters, floor guys and carpet layers. Plus me. Those guys are not going to like lifting some of our furniture. Jerry has a free standing wardrobe made out of an endangered timber (it wasn't when this was made in the early 1900's) when we lived in New Zealand. It has carved wooden flowers on it and beautiful detail. Well, it has three parts, base with 2 drawers, the cupboard itself and it's crown. Well, when we moved here 16 years ago, the movers uttered nasty words on bringing the 3 pieces up 3 flights of stairs. Oh, and my antique oak dresser has a pink marble slab top and you would of thought they would of appreciated I unscrewed the mirror, and wrapped and crated the marble slab before moving.
I do totally dread the redoing but I have paint peeling off the walls of my dining room and cracks everywhere as the old wooden house shifts. It will be worth it, but will probably take 2 months of chaos. Have to replace screens, ceiling fans and all light and plug plates too, and new drapes throughout and am ripping out window seat and some of the bookcases in the kitchen. Ugh. Ok, I'm done.
I think we are all moving along. I am trying. I get real tired, but I think it's only because I'm trying to catch up around here with chores and having trades-men in: plumber, termite man, irrigation guy, etc.
Trying to stay positive and enjoy each day. I don't always achieve this goal but will keep trying. I will not let BC drag me down anymore.
wish I could take a shotgun and shoot the shi_ out of Breast Cancer. THAT would make me feel better.
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Hello Ladies..thanks for all the well wishes...now lets hope that hurricane isnt as bad as they are predicting in Baltimore as my surgery is Monday morning.
Barbe sorry you had so many biopsies and have to wait so long for the results...thats insane. I hope you get benign results.
Stay warm and dry for alll those in the path of this mammoth storm.
Hugs to all
Diane
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They're calling it "Frankenstorm" up here!!!
Debbie, I would LOVE to be down there helping you!!!! I am AMAZING at organzing and painting rooms! I can have a room done in 12 hours if one coat and 24 if two. That's right down to hanging pictures and furniture back in place. I get asked to paint other people's houses a lot...sigh. There's a method to the way to do it with the least amount of hassle and I just love the quick transformation!!
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Diane, will be sending positive thoughts your way for Monday and a smooth recovery.
Gee, barbe, if you were in the neighborhood, I would ask you over for a cup of coffee and chain you to a paint brush! What a kind offer. I'm pretty good too, and as due to my dear husband, have done quite a few moves and that's kind of what clearing a room for painting is kind of like. The big thing with this old house is the prep work before painting. Old paint has to be stripped from some walls as it's so thick with numerous coats it's peeling off and walls and ceilings have cracks, which need prepping. When the two men did my living room about 5 years ago, it took them one day to just do the prep, and in the 2nd day they did the primer coat, 2nd coat and two coats to ceiling and all the trim. As this is an older home, all the ceiling and floor moldings are those thick ones with carvings in them. A couple of my rooms also have rosettes in ceiling from which chandeliers hang. You are right though, there is a method to it, and you need to have a plan and that's what I am working on now. It starts with throwing out all the old stuff I don't want.....and I don't mean my DH! Unfortunately all of this is beyond him and it's best if he just stays out of my way until I need help lifting heavy stuff, or I get my DS. At least I have learned I can't do all the heavy lifting myself anymore.
When the painter did some work for us about 10 years ago, I traded making him a couple of stained glass lamps for his wife in exchange for some of his labor. Suited us both well.
Oh, almost forgot: my Dr decided and agreed with me Friday that she would try me on an anti-anxiety medication, and I have to say, I think it's helping. When I get anxious, I get depressed because then I don't want to do anything, go anywhere or see anyone but my dog. Also, and I think it's a lot to due with the Femara I take, I really am a bitch on wheels to my DH. I hope it works!
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barbe, ooohhhh! yellow blobby stuff? You amaze me!!!
Diane, I hope they postpone your surgery. I know you probably don't want to wait anymore, but this is a huge storm. Will be waiting for your report.
I do hope I feel better once I get off these meds. It is a slow process. I am doing a change over from anti anxiety to anti depressant, plus coming off the steroids one at a time. I am exhausted all the time. I can fall asleep at anytime and now I don't even care if I am not getting "anything" done.
Thank goodness my DS came home for the weekend to prepare the house for the storm. He put up the shutters and we've moved all the outdoor furniture either into the shed or tied it down. We are just going to get the hurricane strength winds not too much rain. So he is hoping the boat will still be running this evening when he is going back to the mainland. The boat will stop running some time tonight and not run again until Tuesday. I'm kind of hoping he gets stuck here, but I'm not too worried. We are very use to nor'easters.
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Funny one mac: last hurricane we had in 1992 while living on Kauai, Jerry tied the porch furniture to the porch railing. After the hurrican had hit, winds over 223 mph, all that was left of our house was theh porch railing with the furniture tied to it. The roof and walls were all gone. Guess I should of had Jerry tie the house down. BE SAFE!
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Debbie, do you have plaster walls? Why is the paint peeling? I've never seen newer paint peel. But on TV shows I notice that the paint in England is very gloppy and curdlike while ours here in Canada is like pouring milk. What is your paint like? I can see your dilemma with all that prep needed. You'll be eating dust for a while, eh?? Glad to know you're getting some chemical help, but remember, it takes weeks to balance out in your system so give it a fair shot!
Mac, stay tight and hang tough. You're tired because you're losing all your fake energy! It's going to be tough... Maybe you can howl back at the wind...hehehehehehe
Diane, are you under the knife right now????
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I would like to channel all the purge energy to my house. It needs it... BAD. just the thought is making me tired. Maybe l'll leave it all to the kids, HAHAHAHAHA . AS IF.
I like watching procedures too. Had abdominal surgery, to remove a fibroid, the size of a large egg from my pelvis. He took an ovary & fallopian tube too. Everything was benign. At the post op visit l asked so many questions he offered to let me watch the video! I understood a lot by watching that. Wish all doctors were as open. Nothing makes me as angry as a doc who treats me like a child, or dismisses what l say. And then l have to PAY them!!
Barbe - good luck on the biopsy results. Crossing fingers & toes for NED.0 -
Thanks Connie. Where did you watch the video?? Do they video all surgeries?? I would have loved to watch my masts....seriously! Medicine fascinates me and I love seeing what my body is made of. When I had an angiogram I got to watch it and saw my spine from inside my body...WAY cool!!!
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Hey gals, glad to see everyone back.. i've been "out" for a few days.. sleeping off my overdoing..
between drs appts, i sneaked a visit in to my grands.. odd night, but some of the decluttering, was, we found five dresses i'd "tucked" away for my Gd.. then, of course, my GS wanted some stuff, so a trip to wlamart got him a ninja suit for halloween. but, the whole trip wiped me out.. the next day was the bookstore.. i got $53.00 in credit, 3 books to the cost of one, so you can imagine how many books id been "saving" for when??
i must say, a series i saved for chrissy when she came, and couldn't take hone with her gained me some big $$, so all good. it means, i can shop a little at a time, get a few books at a time.. the lots gone, now..
I dread doing my closets, and are saving them for last.. nothings fitting, the swellings so bad, everywhere..
the tests I had done show a problem in my blood return in my lower extremities.. have to see a venous specia;ist.. amybe a surgery. will know later. but, its hard to stand and pack right now..
Mac, i haven't gotten the news yet: hope you're oj. glad your DS could help you.. i remember riding many noreasters out at my moms.. hope you all hold in there. i'll be back later...3jays
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