Great saying about depression
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mac, here's a thought. Don't use heat on your sore back. Use ice. For only 15 minutes or it starts to hurt your skin. If inflamation is part of your pain (and steroids WOULD have helped that) then adding more heat is going to make it worse!!! Ice doesn't feel as good, but it may actually give you more relief!
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thanks barbe, I have started to use ice for short periods. I am doing better. I finally feel like I can take a deep breath and not cough. I was up to the city today getting a DEXA scan and stopped in to the oncology boutique. The woman (name of Kate) found a bra for me that is so much more comfortable than what I have been wearing. Then she told me to ask my dr for a script and my insurance will pay for it. Why didn't the MO tell me that last week? I got to have lunch with my DS on the way home for Valentine's Day. And that is all I'm doing about that.
Love to all the ladies here, tho!!!
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Hi Gals: I have missed you all a whole bunch!Long story short ( if I can) they have misdiagnosing then sternum pain Bloating that i've been complaining about since finishing chemo almost 4 years ago!
The result.. A massive Heart Attack last friday!Heart surgery, which i had waited awhile to call the ambulance for almost too long the 2nd tine ( i had just passed a stress test 2 days Prior) almost got me..
They discovered the branches of thenback of the main artery (they call it the "widow maker" were weak, and blood was passing less and less between them.
They almost lost me before stabilizing me for surgery, but I made it, and surgery went well. They say the pain will stop now,, thank you very much.
The bad part is, they HAD to inject IVP dye into the heart for surgery, and although they"premedicated" with steroids, benadryl is better, but i'm allergic to that, as well.
So, although my heart is good, it looks like i've sustained yet another small stroke. this one is affecting my speech, and choking has gotten much worse.
I'm still trying to cope alone in the day, we simply cannot afford a nurse to sit with me "in case": and my kids cannot/will not. so, at least when i CAN, i can type to you guys...
I have an old friend i'm going to ask to come and take me to lunch" my treat" a few days a week. I still am struggling to get the house straightened out after moving. it'll be along drawn out process now, i'm afraid...
So, the liability has worsened, but i'm determined to have the life i deserve. Its just going to be in the long haul, I guess.
I'm so glad to have you all here to reach out to, but it'll be "spotty" at best. Still in bed a lot......but still here, and kicking............3jays
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3jaysmom - you poor thing. I am so sorry to hear about your troubles - must have been so scary for you. Hope you got a cute medic!!! Hang in there, and enjoy your lunch with your friend. You deserve it! Ask your children to help you sort out the house. Hate to think of you struggling alone.
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I HATE when they mis-diagnose chest pain in women!! When will they start to look harder for our chest pain??? I'm glad you got fixed up 3jays. Can't believe you're home already after heart surgery!!!
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3jays!!! You poor thing. Its times like these I wish we all lived closer. I'd take care of you! Well sounds terrifying and I am happy you made it through. You rest up and just focus on healing!! Gentle hugs and lots of love coming your way...that goes for everyone. Miss you all. Will catch up after tax deadline when life slows down.
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3jays: I too, like Di, wish I were nearby to help you. Your children should be ashamed of themselves for not helping you unpack or stopping by to keep you company. YOU gave them life, the life they have. Sorry, but you deserve so much better.
Every time you write I learn from you just what the word tenacity means. You are a woman who just won't let anything stop you from getting on with your life.
mac: it's wonderful to hear you are feeling better - remember go easy and gently.
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3jays, so glad to hear from you even tho it was another trial for you. I am so glad you are alive!!!! I agree with the others I wish I lived next door and could help you out. I think you should leave the house sorting out to others and concentrate on getting your self better. Please try to stay in touch, I was worried about you.
I miss this thread it seems to have gone quiet lately.
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Debbie, we just crossed posts. It is so good to hear from you. I feel like it is two steps forward and then 1 back. A week ago I accidently tore the cornea in my right eye and now I have a cold or something. No voice at all. I am so sick of being sick. I just tried to talk to my DD on the phone and she wants me to go to the dr tomorrow. Sick of drs. But I guess my body is making sure I go slow and easy.
How are you?
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3Jays! I am so sorry, what a very scary experience but so glad you are home and recovering. I can't believe your children. Well I'm thinking my daughter wouldn't come to me but my one son would be there. I'll chime in too wishing we all lived closer and could help each other out.
Makes me wonder if there is some BC support program that visits and takes BC women to doctor apts or just checks in on them. hmmm seems like a nice idea.
Miss you all. Life has been crazy here - not really sure why but it has been. I've been dealing with some extreme foot pain. Originated after my car wreck last year but MRI showed only some bulging disks so now they are thinking MS neuropathy but it is bad when I sit for long or when I lie down. However the horrendous pain lasts for 10-30 min at its worst then takes another 6-8 hours to subside... don't know what on earth it really is but not fun.
Anyway, thinking of you all. 3-jays hang in there!
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Stanzie, could it be Plantar Fascitis??
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No ... I wish in some ways it was. Nope it is my third toe and the pain radiates to the last two toes. When the pain happens it constricts my food so terribly that tears run down my face. This has happened when driving where I had to pull over, and at a restaurant, and just sitting at home or walking my dog. The worst of the pain lasts about 10-15 min but then the throbbing pain can last up to another 8 hours! So far I've had x-rays, MRI and gones through back doctors, and neurologists... no one knows .... yet! But thanks for trying! I appreciate it.
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I feel so bad for you as I certainly know what chronic pain can do to ones' quality of life! Have you tried a topical like Voltoran? (sp?)
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Margaret, it sure sounds like a nerve affliction in your foot to cause such sudden sharp and lasting pain. Maybe a nerve block would help? Can be done in the doctor's office. Crippling chronic pain is not easy to live with from day to day and function and try to enjoy life!
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Thanks Debbie! How are you? Are you back from vacation? Would a nerve blockhelp if it only happens every so often?
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Margaret - I'll write you. Yes, a nerve block would help. Had a friend just get one for a too frequent pain in the ear!
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Nice to see we are on a first name basis here! Margaret, I had nerve blocks in my spine and neck. They work great, but you certainly know when they stop! Anywhere from 24 hours to 6 months was my longest. BUT, if your foot just needs to heal (pardon the pun!) it may get that chance while the nerve block is still working. The needles are very long and skinny so there's not an annoying pain involved and the relief is almost instant! Let us know how it goes....
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barbe1958- do you have a scarcastic meaning to your first sentence of your last post? If so, it's over my head. If you meant nothing by it, then let my comment go as I'm a bit 'sensitive' right now.
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My comment wasn't sarcastic at all, justagirl, seriously!!! I am not that kind of person. I know a lot of people's first names and find it so hard to keep to the bco names that it was a relief to use Debbie instead of justagirl. BUT...it did make me look at your signature line to make sure you still say Debbie and now I'm horrified to see lung mets!!! How the heck did I miss that? What is going on sweetie?? I didn't see anything on Facebook. I am MAD for you, too!
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Debbie, I was thinking more about first names and have always felt that on this thread we reveal SO much of our selves that it sometimes seems silly to say "Stanzie" when responding. I was GLAD we were on a first name basis. I'm sorry you felt I could have been sarcastic. I'd never be like that; especially on such a sensitive thread. My heart goes out to you sweetie! Hugs.
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barbe - ok, I now understand where you are coming from
For any of you who are friends with me on facebook, please only 'private message' me if it's about my BC/mets. I just had to share with my friends here and by posting it makes me face the reality of it. Took me a while. I found out 21 January.
The only people in the world outside of BCO that know about my lung mets are my son, husband and two BFF's that have been in my life for years.
What happened? By coincidence, I had an abdominal CT and they took a picture of the bottom portion of my lungs and saw the mets so went back and had CT of lungs. Came back with numerous tiny multifocal BC mets, with only two measurable - 5mm and 7mm. The little suckers are throughout my lungs - everywhere. Oncologist switched me from Femara to Tamoxifen and just about 10 days ago I had another lung CT which showed no change (good, at least no growth as my original tumor was a grade 3) and my blood tumor count is almost down by half. So I repeat t he tests in three months. No chemo right now. Oncologist said catching it this early makes her optimistic to have some good years ahead of me. At some time I may need chemo, but for now, I'm steady. No shortness of breath or any breathing problems but my O2 reading is 95% instead of my normal 100%, so the tumors are affecting me.
Guess that's it for now.
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Debbie- you are Such an amazing women! I'm here for you! I'm glad they have caught it early and I'm hoping the meds work and suck the life out of those horried baby tumors... Thinking of you with huge big hugs!
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Stanzie, I am not amazing - just stubborn!
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Deb, I'm all for you being stubborn!!! I had noticed that in your signature line last week and thought to myself, has that always been there and I haven't noticed? I don't trust my brain at all. So I am glad that barb brought it up. Cause I think about you alot and wonder how you are doing. (look at me I even shorten your real name)
It took me a little bit to figure out who Margaret is. LOL
I went to my dermatologist today. I was going to ask him to change me to yearly check ups instead of every 6 months, but he found 2 spots to biopsy. One on my neck and the other on the back of my shoulder. So now I have to go back next week and get the stitches out and discuss tx options. At least there are options.
When I had to see the on call doc a couple of weeks ago, b/c my doc was on vacation. I had a bad cough, sore throat and could barely talk. He was reading my list of meds and he looks over and says "so, depressed and anxious?" What could I say? I just nodded my head.
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I like Stubborn!
Mac- I also like your doctor- I think we all are depressed and anxious and wonder when on earth we will ever be anything else... but we are here and we care about each other and that means the world!
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Debbie, my O2 levels are 95% or lower at any given time, so I don't know if that is reflective of your mets. I just have sucky blood oxygen levels. My Onc told my PCP to look into it 1 1/2 years ago and he just did more bloodwork but didn't push any futher testing. So I have no idea why my O2 is so low. It screws them up during surgeries and post-op until I tell them I'm always like that. We thought when I got my pacemaker the levels would improve but they haven't.
I can't believe you held all that anger inside from us for so long!!! I would be hissing and spitting it all out to you guys so fast, you'd hear about it before my family!!! It helps that you guys aren't near me, so I CAN tell you stuff I don't tell my own family. I agree about not telling everyone around you and my DH and I have already decided that's what we would do. I get it. I don't think I could stand the phone calls and pity-voices I'd hear. You KNOW you are NOT hearing pity from US, we know it could be any one of us at any time.
I am just so, so upset for you and your anger is certainly what you are running on right now. I'm glad I never took Tamoxifen as I know that will be my first line of defence if they find mets. I'm getting an abdominal CT on March 26 due to pressure under my right rib cage. I will think of you during the test and pray that I can be as gracious as you are at this time if I hear similar news. Hugs to you, sweetie!
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I do believe anxiety and depression come along with being diagnosed with BC. My new GP, whom herself had BC 20 years ago, and was the angel that agreed to start me on my anti-anxiety med, felt it would take two or three years from my last treatment or surgery to allow BC to fade into the background of my life. I had been on the med for a couple of months and then Bang, mets to my lungs. I was shattered but I do think the anti anxiety med is helping me get out of bed every day and I'm not hiding under the covers like I've done before.
Of course, then there is the timing. I find out about the mets just two weeks before my son and I are due for a three week vacation on Kauai, where I used to live. Oh how was I to be light-hearted and joyous with this now in my life. But I did it! Only my best friend that I always stay with already knew about the mets and while there I told another BFF, who just before we went for a long walk, I said to her in her kitchen - there's something I need to tell you. And she said 'where'. Like me, she is a nurse, and was worried along with me of mets appearing. It broke my heart to tell her, but we have been friends for 25 years, so how could I not? I destest upsetting people!
As far as my Os level goes Barb, it was 100% just before my last surgery, which was Nov, 2011, so for me, it's not my normal. All I can think to do is protect myself from coughing people and exercise so I do push and inflate my lungs to their max.
I didn't tell you here as I guess I just didn't want to believe it had happened. And I didn't want to upset any of you. Being a Stage lV is something I've always been afraid and anxious about, but now it is a reality.
Last week my GP gave me some good advice: for the next three months, live your life and forget as best you can about the mets. The week before you see the oncologist and have the CT - lungs and blood tumor markers you can worry. Then listen to the oncologist. Things may not be as good or things may be better but live for now.
Good idea............
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Debbie, I am so glad you got to go on your trip. I think that is a great atitude about living for the now! It is probably easier to say than to carry out everyday. So be sure to let us be "there" for you. Being a nurse I'm sure you feel like you "know" too much all ready. I went through my sister's journey with her, so I feel like I know too much, too. But she taught me to live life and tell everyone how much they mean to you everyday.
I have just booked a trip to Mexico for the end of April with my DD. Last year we went to St John but it was cool and rainy. So off to the hot weather and the beach. Not sure if I am going to mention that to my Dermatologist.
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justagirl- I am so glad you managed to go on your trip to Kauia with your son. Hope you had sea and sun!
macatacmv- enjoy the trip with your daughter. Just wear a hat and put on total block sun lotion. The weather is still miserable here - could do with a bit of sun!
3jya - how are you doing? Hope you are feeling a bit stronger.
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Debbie, I allow myself to worry/panic around the time of my appointments. Strangely I don't worry once I get my scans/tests as I figure it's "done and dusted". I get what your doc is saying. Knowing your O2 was 100% must be frustrating to see what you are now, but I should have known you'd be high as you were a runner, weren't you?
I'm SO glad you took your trip! I forgot when it was and you didn't say anything....thank God you had girlfriends to lessen your burden with. I know what you mean about making people anxious. I felt GUILTY when I got cancer as my Dad had just died of lung cancer years earlier!!
You are all in my prayers!
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