Great saying about depression

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  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited March 2011

    ((((Kate)))):  My one year anniversary for my MX is April 20th.  I have yet to have the "never had cancer" dream yet--most of mine are of a recurrence.  I still can't sleep on my stomach!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited March 2011

    MBJ, did you have recon? I can't remember....how long after Kate gets her switch out will she be able to lie on her stomach?

    So Kate, that's another thing the cancer took away, your comfortable sleeping position!

    {{{{{{{{{{{ Kate }}}}}}}}}}}

    {{{{{{{{{{{ MBJ }}}}}}}}}}

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited March 2011

    Barbe:  I had my exchange August 20th and I am not sure if I ever will be able to sleep on my stomach again.  I think that I would have this problem with or without recon because they had to cut into my pec muscle to get all of the cancer out and prevent recurrence.  It's still very tender at these sites--mostly at the outer edges where they stitched me back together again.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited March 2011

    That sounds horrid!!! Poor you!! And I mean that in the most sincere way. Bad enough the first cut (which is the deepest - or so the song says) but to mess around in your muscles too....it must have been a painful healing.

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited March 2011

    Barbe:  That ain't nothin! You should have seen the bruising--looked as if I had been run over by a truck a few times.  Took months to heal.

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited March 2011

    Ok this is embarrassing - what is today?? Yes I could get up and go look but it would disturb my child's music lesson so... Kate my surgery anniversary is March 5th... is that today? Oh dear.... I did remember we were close on anniversaries. Oh that must have been awful - I certainly grieve for my real ones! Replacements as much as I'm glad I have them still are not real.

     But I'm not in love with my fake boobs but I can sleep on my stomach no problem which I do like. All in all I think I have had it on the easier side than most with recon. I did just go to my PS on Thursday and he made me feel pretty good about everything. I do still have the "pillow under my arms and a tiny dent on one side which he said is cause the implants are circle and regular tissue fills it all in... made sense. Anyway he says he can lipo the pillows under my arms and inject them into the breasts to lose the dents and make them smoother looking. It is surgery but he didn't make it sound bad at all - 1 hour surgery - can do everything except lift gym weights the next day - wait 10 days before going to gym. He said he could do it with just a local but that I might be un-nerved by the tugging and sucking of lipo.... ewwww! But it does really bother me in sleeveless clothes and thinking ahead to bathing suits.... hmmm? 

     Anyway, all in all I am happy I did recon. I know and totally understand your feelings Barb as my sister's friend didn't have recon and is very happy not to have. But for me - I still wanted breasts for me. 

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited March 2011

    Stanzie- I didn't realize how close we are in our timeline!  I guess it's good you didn't remember that yesterday was the 5th and what it signified.  I take that as a good sign.  I'm not crazy about my foobs, either, but just not brave enough to go without.  I've been too brain washed by society, and all those VS catalogs that deluge my mailbox, to have even considered not doing recon.  But there are definitely cons to doing it, that's for sure.  Someday I want to have the implants removed and have that fat grafting that Dr. Khouri does in Miami.  That's why I'm sticking to my Ruffles and Milky Way bar diet so he's got lost of material to work with!  LOL!   I love how the surgeons describe removing the fat as "harvesting".  Pick your problem area and have it "harvested" and placed in your boobs.  (Um, doc, can I have the whole back 40 plowed, please?)  

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited March 2011

    Kate:  re: (Um, doc, can I have the whole back 40 plowed, please?) :  I keep asking my PS the same thing and was hoping he could shoot some of it into my face, too, but he just didn't take me seriously.  Sigh.

    Stanzie:  Go for it!  I am getting some more fat harvested from my belly (my fat center) and put again into my step offf along with my new nipple/areola on March 15th.  Here in Los Angeles there are more days of hot weather then cold, and I do want to be able to wear regular summer clothes without having to feel like I need to cover up.

    Barbe:  Although I do admire and support your choice, shallow as it sounds, I still wanted and needed breasts for me to feel whole.  Recon is not for everyone and there are complications but I am happy with my decision in spit of the long journey. 

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited March 2011

    MBJ- I'd like to have some fat grafting to cover some rippling issues I'm having.  Am having trouble finding a PS in the Phoenix area that does this.  (Sometimes I think PS's don't really want to be found since they make it so hard to figure out who does what and where they are.  It's like they're thinking "Damn, another one found me!  Now I'm going to have to do that breast recon instead of playing golf with my buddy, Joe!")  Don't know why it has to be so difficult.  Anyway, do you like yours?  I could always fly to L.A.  It's closer than Florida!

  • didel
    didel Member Posts: 733
    edited March 2011

    Ok now this is the third time I am trying to post my response...complete user errorTongue out

    anyhow, my anniversary was uneventful...I was focused on my 2nd and last revision surgery PLUS it was two days before christmas so no time to mourn or think about it really. It wasn't as hard a day for me as the anniversary of my diagnosis. My chemo anniversary is St Patricks Day I will have something better flowing through my veins this SPD that's for sure!

    Kate sorry you are still having rippling and are feeling blue. Did you get the gummies?? I had rippling with my TE but very very little with my implant. I do not have the gummies.

     OMG my puppy is driving me crazy right now...6 days of no doggie daycare and my backyard is like a swamp from all the snow melting and now its been raining all day...UGH..it'll be August by the time my yard dries out...remember this rant when I am complaing of how hot and dry it is this summer...LOL

    Di 

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 2,037
    edited March 2011

    So far March is a month of dreary days, they should do a study of SAD in women in the Northeast.  I've forgotten what the sun looks like.  According to the weather forecasters, we will have two sunny days this week, cannot wait.  We had a day of heavy rain yesterday and then 3-4 inches of snow today.  Not the kind of weather that is conducive to trainng a puppy Di, poor baby is having cabin fever.  Karen

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited March 2011

    Kate - that is true a good way to look at it or sad that I have no clue on earth what day or month we are in.... Love the Ruffles and Milky Way diet - my first thought when reading was your were wearing clothing with ruffles! LOL Maybe I just need to go back to bed.

    MJB - hope the harvest works beautifully! 

    Gosh you know wouldn't it be lovely if all or PS said ok I'll do whatever to get your chest looking like you want but while your under have any problems you would like fixed, no charge..... sigh aren't I in dreamland! 

    We are cold here but have had some beautiful weather and sunshine - sorry the North is still covered in clouds and snow....that does make it awfully dreary.

  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 1,821
    edited March 2011

    Best wishes on your job interviews and tests, barbe1958!  If you don't like to wear white, then how about all black?  I love your attitude!

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited March 2011

    Barb - your pretty pearls make a nice white accessory! Do you have to wear both Black and White together? And no other colors? hmmm? interesting.. I'll be you will find some nice white separates. One thing after my surgery I wore a lot was black pants and a black cammisole with a wrap around white sweater which was sort of sheer and tied higher than my waist so it was very flattering and had  some very subtle ruffle detail. I loved it as it made me feel very put together. Oh and there acually is a store called Black and White where that is all they sell! I'm sure you could get come good advice from the salespeople there as well.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited March 2011

    I made myself a deal with God yesterday at work. I left work and went to a mall to look for nice black and white tops. Remember, I am flat and only my waist up would show behind a jewelery counter...

    I tried store after store and they were SO expensive and too fitted or really boring! Then I went into Tanjay which carries Nygaard (a Canadian designer). I usually fit them very well. I found 6 tops!!! Three white, three black and I'll mix black and white camis in. I was so pumped!! I couldn't buy them, of course, but I have an income tax return coming. The point was, if I didn't find anything that I loved, I wouldn't accept the job and I'd just stay where I was. I went through a lot of jobs in my years and have been here for 4 years. It felt like giving up to move on, but I just have to!!

    So, it looks like I will! Even if I don't get manager, I would go in as sales. The potential is there, $18/hour + commission is good enough for me. Better than %100 commission where I am now! So I've pre-shopped so that I can accept either position with a lighter heart. God showed me the way.

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited March 2011

    Wow!!! Sounds like you even had fun too!! That is very exciting and I would imagine Jewelry would be fun. Never heard of the designer will have to look it up! So glad everything is fitting into place!

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited March 2011

    Just looked at the clothing line - great stuff and not horribly expensive - Thanks saw some really cute things!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited March 2011

    Tan Jay tends to be for older women, but I get a lot of basics really well priced. I'm not one to pick up trends as I need my clothing dollars to last year to year. Michael Hill is from Australia and gave away a diamond solitaire to "the perfect couple". It was a world wide contest. A couple from New Zealand won....it was a 22 carat diamond solitaire!!! TWENTY-TWO carats??? Did you hear me???

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited March 2011

    Oh my gosh - I'd be terrified to wear it!!!! Yikes! That is a bit much it must be awfully heavy!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited March 2011

    It looked like a knuckle duster, that's for sure!!! You can see it on their website.

  • didel
    didel Member Posts: 733
    edited March 2011

    Barb sounds like you had a good productive day! I love when you feel like things are falling into place.

    I gotta check out that diamond ring...sounds ridiculous.

    Hope everyone is well and happy!

    Diane

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited March 2011

    Oh, I looked up the ring.... well it is so out of proportion it isn't even pretty.... but then I guess you probably wouldn't wear it out so ....?? I don't get it. I'd rather have a ring or two that were beautifully designed and felt safe to wear without being mugged.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited March 2011

    ahhahahahaha   ALL diamond rings are pretty!! I LOVE diamonds, they are my first love. I really hope I get the job!!

  • walker2222
    walker2222 Member Posts: 442
    edited March 2011

    Barbe - so happy about your job you deserve it.

    Sorry I have been off the boards have been in a mellow mood and not wanting to deal with BC issues lately but I have mellowed out now.  Have been sleeping better and I am not having to take anything for sleep right now.

    Saw my Lymphadema PT yesterday and I am not stage 1 but I am in the pre stages so we are going to work on that.  I will see her for three weeks 1 x week which I can handle.  I do have cording issues that has been causing my aches in my arm and she is working out those.  Gave me exercises and massages to do and something the DH can help me with.  I am pretty pleased with the out come.  She works real close with my BS who referred me so I am confident I am getting the treatment I need.  See my RO on the 16th and OBGYN on the 24th.  The PT did say my skin looked real good for being three weeks out from rads.

    My anniversary date is March 30th when I was dx

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited March 2011

    mjb, I don't have the job yet.....but thanks!

    Glad to see you back posting. That all sounds very positive for your LE. Sounds like to caught it in time so that it won't progress to a worse level. Good for you to be on top of it!!!!!

    Are you going to celebrate or de-celebrate your anniversary date? The first year was very emotional for me and I emailed all my sibs that "a year ago today I heard the words" type of email. Only my older bro responded. My sis and little bro didn't even acknowledge the email!!! So I didn't bother with the secong year, just checked if off in my head. Congrats for you though! It's a BIG day.

  • walker2222
    walker2222 Member Posts: 442
    edited March 2011

    Barbe - you do deserve it!

    Not for sure about the celebrating, may just treat it as another day.  Have my big 20th Anniversary with DH on 4/20 that I will concentrate on.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited March 2011

    That's a good way to look at it; acknowledge it, but move on. Congrats on the 20th!!! Will you do something special?

  • walker2222
    walker2222 Member Posts: 442
    edited March 2011

    I don't right now. Going to a Women's retreat the prior weekend. We have time to decide what to do.

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited March 2011

    Kate:  Dr. Schooler at Norris Cancer Center is great!!!  I would even offer you a place to stay, except we only have a one bedroom and I could only give you a couch to sleep on.  PM me and I will give you his contact info.  If there is anything he can do to help you, I am sure he would be the dr to do it.  He is not only an artist, but he is incredibly compassionate, too.

    Barbe:  Just finding those tops for your new job means you are ready to move on.  I have always been loyal to a fault when it comes to work.  Money is money-I bet you would do really well at a new job and in a new environment.  That big diamond-you could have it cut into 10 other pieces!!!

    Stanzie:  When you said "harvest"  for just a second I thought you were talking about Kate's comment "plowing the back 40", lol!!!

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited March 2011

    It sounds like everyone is doing great.  barbe- Hope you hear about the job soon!  mjbmiller- So glad your sleep is better and that the PT is working out so well.  You've got lots of appointments on the horizon but it sounds like you're in a good place.  Happy (early) anniversary!  20 years!  That's a major accomplishment right there.

    I still feel as though I'm floundering a bit this week.  Yesterday was my 1 year mastectomy anniversary which I found much harder than the DX one.  I also got my "official" rejection letter from USAirways.   (It was basically a form letter because it said "we've decided to move forward with other candidates whose qualifications and experience fit more closely with the position".  So let's see.....12 years doing the EXACT same job.....for YOUR COMPANY somehow doesn't fit these parameters?  WTH?)  So guess I'm just feeling a bit out of sorts this week.  The upside is it's a beautiful day outside- 78* and I'm going to go open all the windows and try to get this funk out of my house.   Wish me luck!