Great saying about depression

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Comments

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2011

    Thanks guys!  I have just been so down in the dumps lately.  It's so bad I can't even stand to be around me.  I hate when I'm depressed because I can't get anything accomplished.  And when I don't get anything accomplished I am even more depressed.  It is a vicious circle.  My DH is coming home tomorrow after flying for 5 days in a row and he has been working a lot of overtime lately.  I think part of the doldrums is I feel so lonely with him gone so much.  Too much time to sit around and feel sorry for myself.  Going to get this US done tomorrow and then I need to kick myself in the butt and get going on something!  Hope you all have a great week!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited April 2011

    Kate, this may be out there....but have you considered changing careers? What do you love to do? Read? Crafts? Purses? Shoes? Have you thought of working at a job that lets  you touch and feel something you love, but pays minimum wage?

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited April 2011

    Barb - I think that is an excellent idea - I'll chime in - I know Kate loves photography! Sounds fun to me! Even if it is till something else comes along at least you will feel like you are moving forward and contributing.

    Is it just me or do other women not really know what they like to do or want to do. I have so much trouble with that.....

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited April 2011

    I thinks it's just that we feel guilty doing something we like! I opened a quilt store for 5 1/2 years while I was enjoying quilting. I got to sew all day!!

    Kate, could you do childrens photos or house photos or take pictures for a real estate company for mls?

    I still think the airline was looking for minorities and that's why they didn't snap Kate up.

  • LG300
    LG300 Member Posts: 512
    edited April 2011

    Kate - Did your doctor figure out what all your symptoms are due to?  Could it be fibroids?   I think they cause a lot of those symptoms.  Sorry you're feeling so down in the dumps.  Regarding US Air, I think they wanted someone younger/cheaper.  Definitely their loss - and the passengers' loss!  I've been down in the dumps lately too.  I'm finding it very difficult and stressful to be back at work full time.  Half-way through the day, I can't wait for the day to be over.  I'm so exhausted by the end of the week that I barely get out of my pajamas all weekend, so I haven't been seeing my friends as much as I normally do.  I just feel like I'm never going to feel like my old self again.

    MBJ - I hope you saw your doctor about that lump and that it was just a fat lump (I think you might have posted that on Exchange City).

    Barbe - I think it's funny/sad that the company you interviewed with said you scored too high on the intelligence test.

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited April 2011

    LG300:  I don't know if it's possible, but can you eat at your desk and maybe nap on your lumch break?  I would also maybe bring some energy snacks to work to help keep up your energy levels.  I know it will still be exhausting, but just throwing out ideas to maybe help you get through this rough time.

    Kate:  Having completely changed jobs a few times, I agree:  What gets you excited?  I actually  went back to school and waited tables for a few years so I could do music at night.  I did it until I no longer could.  I think it's really important to do something you love, even if it means taking a cut in pay at first.  I tried to go back to something I used to do and then realized I hated the thought of doing it again.  What works for me is making a list of likes and dislikes to narrow it down.  I started out at $10 per hour doing something I loved (a huge cut in pay from waiting tables-hard to believe, huh?) and it was life changing. 

  • hopefulhealing
    hopefulhealing Member Posts: 581
    edited April 2011

    Kate good luck with the ultrasound. I had one with a biopsy as well due to spotting. But it was all negative. Sometimes we get some side effects that can be very scary. Keep us posted.

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited April 2011

    Kate:  So we will both be going in today to be checked:  my appointment is at 3pm.  I am hoping for both of us that it isn't anything to cause additional concern.  Sending you many good thoughts today!!!

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2011

    One thing I have struggled with is always trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up.  I love photography, but the old kind with darkrooms and chemicals, not the new digital age.  I think photography is a lost art because anyone can take a crummy photo and then just go into their computer and make it a great photo.  Some today's photographers are mostly just people with great computer skills which doesn't appeal to me.  One thing I do love is dogs and have been trying to figure out how to turn that into a job.  Had thought about veterinary tech but don't think I could handle the thought of sick dogs and am not much of a cat, hamster, snake person which you have to do, too.  I really did love being a flight attendant, though.  In a lot of ways it was the perfect job for me because it's very organized and structured but there's variety and sometimes adventure too.  It is the perfect combination for me.  Just kicking myself that I gave up my job in the first place and didn't just continue to fly part time when I had my son.  Oh well, hindsight, 20/20, blah, blah, blah.  Still wracking my brain trying to figure out what direction to go next.  I keep figuring out what I don't want to do but not what I do want to do!  Stanzie- I think you're right.  I think women do struggle with this.  I know every women in my family does.  (Is it genetic?)  My DH knew what he wanted to do when he was 12!  I envy people like that!

    LG300- Haven't figured out what the symptoms are about, yet.  I have my US today and have to do a CA125 blood test too.  Probably won't know anything until the end of the week. 

    MBJ- Good luck with your appointment today.  Hope everything is o.k.  Keep us posted!

    Well, I have to go swig 44 oz of water before my US.  (Yeah, right, like that's going to happen!  I would burst!  I love how it's 44 oz no matter how big you are.  I personally have a bladder the size of a 10 year old!  LOL!) 

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited April 2011

    Kate:  What about dog grooming?  Or dog walking?  I have two friends that do this part time and they love it!  It's good money, too.  You could even start a business and hire the people to walk the dogs if you get enough clients.  There is a huge demand for this in LA, not sure about Arizona.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited April 2011

    Dog grooming would be amazing! It's one of the skills that the unemployment pays for you to learn up here. It's in demand. And you wouldn't have to deal with cats at all. My store was beside groomers but it was sad. I'd go in and visit and there'd be this little dog in a sling with his tail between his legs and the girls would be talking to each other, totally ignoring the little guy. The dog was quaking, whether out of fear or embarrasment I don't know, but I told him he was beautiful and he started to wag his tail. They did overnight boarding but all they did was left the dogs in the store. The doggie day care was the same thing. A bunch of dogs all playing together in a store. Doi!

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2011

    Unfortunately, in the job hunt, my number one priority is trying to find a full time job that offers medical benefits as my DH will lose his if he goes out on full time disability.  So may have to take a job I don't particularly like in order not to have to pay $2,000.00 month for medical coverage for the whole family.  

    Well, had my US today.  My doctor had ordered a transabdominal US which the tech did.  After she was done she said she thought she should also do a transvaginal US.  I've never had them do more tests than the doctor ordered so now I'm wondering if she saw something during the first US.  (Which of course they won't tell you.)  Now I've got myself all freaked out.  Won't have the results until Friday at the earliest.  Aaagh! 

  • LG300
    LG300 Member Posts: 512
    edited April 2011

    Kate - Sorry you had to have the transvaginal ultrasound.  Try not to freak out.  If the tech saw something that looked bad, s/he will probably have the doctor look at the films right away.

    MBJ - Thanks for your suggestions.  How did your doctor's appointment go today?  Hope everything's OK.

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2011

    Just got a call from my doctor's office that the pap came back completely normal.  Was all reassured until I found out that paps are only good for checking for cervical cancer not any of the other kind.  Am I the only one that didn't know that?  Oh well, one test down with positive results, two to go!  I can hear it now.  "The good news is you don't have cancer.  The bad news is you're just old, decrepit, pathetically out of shape and a junk food addict and that's causing all your symptoms."  On that note, I'm going to go have a doughnut.....

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2011

    MBJ- Your appointment was hours ago!  Let us know how you're doing!  Hope it's all good.  (((hugs)))

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited April 2011

    Oh Kate, I'm so sorry you have to wait so long for the results. I know that is nerve wracking... Try and relax and thing good thoughts. I used to have those kind of Ultrasounds and I would imagine given your symptoms it makes sense for them to check both ways since you are already there and with the machine.

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited April 2011

    (((Kate)))):  I agree, if something was wrong the dr. would have been immediately advised!  The only time I have ever had a vaginal US was when I had fibroids.  Sorry you have to wait but I am glad you don't have cancer!!!

    Ladies:  Good news, after being at the dr's office from 2:30 until I just walked through the door now, I was given an all clear.  They did a mammogram on my right, all clear and an ultra sound on my MX side and it looks like it's just fat but I was told to return in 3 months to make sure.

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2011

    MBJ- WOO HOO!!!!!!  (Bet you never thought you'd be rejoicing over fat, huh?  LOL!)  Very happy to hear your news!

    Here's a quote from the book I'm reading, "Five Lessons I Didn't Learn From Breast Cancer".  She said she refused to be one of those women who said that having BC was this great life altering, spiritual awakening journey.  She said, "Breast cancer didn't transform me.  It didn't reform me.  It did sort of deform me, but only a little."  I love that! 

  • tcam3472
    tcam3472 Member Posts: 8
    edited April 2011

    HI all,

    I have been on taxoxifen since September and have been having horrible side effects..the typical ones..hot flashes, thinning hair, stomach ache, upset stomach...BUT also can't concentrate, feel like crying and anger when the frustration has peaked.  When I read up on tamoxifen it doesn't really describe the emotional part too much and  I am constantly second guessing whether I am just being "over" emotional.  The doctor took me off of the drug for 3 weeks..after 5 days or so I started feeling like myself...happy.  I'm back on the drug now for 3 1/2 weeks and I feel horrible again.  Is anyone else feeling like this?  I'm new to the chat...

     I just don't know what to do because its effecting my work....I keep missing work..  The doctor told me that I might have to be taken off of it but it scares me..but If I can't work I will loose everything I own...

    BTW I had to see my family physican to get a note for a week off of work (my oncologist is on vacation).  My family physican was VERY judgemental asking me why I needed a week off since I have been working all along.  He didn't listen at all.  I feel like I'm being kicked.  I love my job..I'm not trying to avoid work!  I can't concentrate or focus...I work for a bank and deal with everything from peoples mortgages, loans..etc.  I have to be focused otherwise I can cause client impact

    FRUSTRATED

  • hopefulhealing
    hopefulhealing Member Posts: 581
    edited April 2011

    Kate thank you for the quote. That is the truth of it all and all the women that give you this crap about "a breast doesn't make a woman" etc have theirs! Sorry angry today.

    Kate waiting is so hard. We will pray it is nothing but everything is negative when you hear.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited April 2011

    Great news Kate and MBJ (loooooooooooong day or what!!!) Count me as another one that didn't know a PAP smear couldn't find metastasied bc!

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2011

    Determined- My DH came home last night after being gone for 5 days and, being the forever optimist, reassured me that it was all going to turn out o.k.  So now I'm not freaking out as much.  Now I'm trying to stop myself from googling and reading scary stuff about ovarian cancer.  I need one of those parental blocks so anytime I enter ovarian in the search engine it keeps me from seeing any sites.  LOL!

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited April 2011

    Kate:  Great new avatar-is that you??!!

  • hopefulhealing
    hopefulhealing Member Posts: 581
    edited April 2011

    kate that is a great idea, wish we could put a block on our brains to keep out the negative thoughts, anger and not feeling like a woman.

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited April 2011

    GOOD NEWS!  Doctor called today and said it's just benign fibroids on my uterus.  CA125 was negative!  She said they can remove them laparoscopically if they continue to be an issue.  I think for now I'll just wait and see.  Feel like I'm overdosing on medical procedures right now.  Anyway, DH is cooking me a fabulous steak dinner to celebrate!  I'm a lucky girl!

    MBJ- Yep, the avatar is me when I was about 8 or 9 holding my first dog, Coquette.  I was feeling nostalgic yesterday longing for the innocent days of youth before all this BC crap!  LOL! 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited April 2011

    THAT'S WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I  waited too long with fibroids and had to have a hysterectomy, so don't wait toooooooo long. But do enjoy the relief! Your DH was right, everything IS okay!!

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 2,037
    edited April 2011

    Kate, so wonderful to have good news isn't it.  I've been away, so had to catch up on all the posts.  This is my month for BS and mammo and US< so scanxiety will be creeping up. I'm nostalgic for the good old days too, when an ache is just an ache.  Karen

  • hopefulhealing
    hopefulhealing Member Posts: 581
    edited April 2011

    Kate great news!!!!  Yes the days when joy was right there we didn't have to work so hard to find it. Maybe in time ..........  the grieving process is complex isn't it.

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited April 2011

    Kate:  YAHOOO FOR YOUR GOOD NEWS!!!  Getting BC is alot like losing the innocence of youth, isn't it?  Kate, you are such an eloquent writer and very observant.  Is there anything you could do for work that requires this skill?

    I have been plagued by fibroids since I was 28 when I had my first laparoscopy.  Diet is the only thing that will get rid of them without surgery!  For me it was diet or a hysterectomy.  After a myomectomy in 1999, where I almost bled to death, a friend gave me a book called Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and in it there was an outline of foods to avoid to get rid of fibroids.  The info used to be free on the internet but now the author charges to go to her site.  Anyway, what works is no white foods:  No dairy, no potatoes, no white rice, no bread.  Mine went from the size of grapefruits to the size of a walnut.  Now I occassionally have cheese or dairy, but only yogurt, goat cheese, parmesan and feta.  I try to avoid other cheeses that are harder for the body to digest.  My new diet has me off of potatoes, white rice and all wheat flour so that works for me. 

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited April 2011

    Oh Kate!!!!!! YAY!!!! I am sooooo happy for you!!! You so needed good news and this is the best!!!

    Wow, didn't have any idea they could be controlled with diet my sister had to have a hysterectomy for grapefruit size fibroids, no one ever told her anything about diet! Wow, really good info!