Great saying about depression
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Barb - isn't that somehow genius descrimination? Is that even possilbe? Can you talk to these people in person at all to reassure them you are smart but no Einstein off the wall smart at least at work? That is truely the strangest thing I have heard and does not make a bit of sense??? I think I'd have to know more. And the night before????
Kate whoops on my PM I somehow missed the interview were to be on Monday.
Well, come on no wonder our economy is so bad if employers can't actually figure out how not to waste such huge amouts of time and money on interviews that don't happen or thousands of interview that come to nothing and then interviews and encouragement given and then snatched away at the last minute for such peculiar reasons.... I don't get it and I'm so sorry both of you got punched in the stomch on both of these. that is so not right. (((HUGS))).
Too many people need jobs for them to be doing stuff like this - should be illegal to lead people on falsely. I'm so so sorry!!!
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Whoops on the typos and non-spell check - why does it work some times and other times not? But I'm sure you get the gist...
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barbe- That is the most asinine thing I have ever heard! To turn down what would have been an amazing employee (which you proved by the lengths and length of drive you were willing to go through) over some personality test? When the person you would be working for met you face to face and clicked? That's ridiculous! I'm so sorry! If it helps I can understand and relate to your frustration! I just read that most companies require everyone to submit their resumes online, then their computers look for "key" words in your resume and if they're not there you don't get called. WTH? Just so tired of jumping through everyone's hoops and I'm sure you are, too. (((hugs)))
MBJ- I've already hired a service to pump up my resume so that's covered. Not sure about a head hunter. I think I have to cry uncle and think about going back to school. Never finished and got my degree because I dropped out to put my first husband through. Then when he had "made it" in his career it was supposed to be my turn but that's when we got divorced. And now I've just been doing the stay at home mom thing except for the occasional part time job. Kicking myself now that I didn't go back to school when I had all that time at home. Oh well, hindsight, 20/20, blah, blah, blah.
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Barbe: You have got to be kidding me??!! Unbelieveable what these employers are putting people through. Sounds to me like they would rather not hire someone and continue over working this employee. That really sucks, but I do hope that it gave you the confidence to continue to look elsewhere. Don't give up now and I wish for you an even better job, closer to home comes your way. Just keep putting it out there! Hugs!!!
Kate: I am a high school dropout with a 2 year college degree in a field I briefly worked in and hated. This has never prevented me from getting a job except for a few very large corporations that only look at a degree as being qualified. I make really good money, too. Some of the world's richest people are high school drop outs and you are not that!!!
There are many employers who still hire for the right reasons and not entirely based on some stupid test or rule or some line of BS and I hope for both of you that you find somewhere to work that isn't full of BS. I have had some amazing employers in my lifetime and I know that it's possible. Keep and open mind and heart and focus on what it is you want. When I have a goal in mind, I try and right down everything that I want and I look at it everytime I have a chance so that I keep that goal in mind. Anything that I come across that doesn't fit my list, I cross it off as a deal breaker. I do this when looking for a place to live, I did this when I was still dating. Let me tell you something, my DH is everything that was on my list. It sounds crazy, but it works. When I was much younger, I got fired from a job that was no longer working for me. I walked into a temp agency and told them I wanted a part time job, making so much money and the woman looked at me as if I were crazy and told me jobs like this don't exsist. 5 minutes later, while I was filling out the paper work, she walked back in with this weird look on her face, and said a job just came in that matched what I was looking for. Best employer I ever had. He even offered me more money then what I was supposed to get. I believe anything is possible if you believe it is! Sorry for the long post but I love you guys and I want only the best in life for all of you! Hugs!!!
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About 8 years ago I had done another test, much more involved for another company. They did hire me, but sat me down and told me that they were concerned, yet again, that my numbers were off the charts (you know the questions....if a train leaves Chicago at 4:30 going 90 mph and another leaves Boston at....blah, blah) I happen to have a very high IQ and I eat these up and spit them out for breakfast! Also, the ones like...how many blocks would be in this pile - or the ones that say "what would be the next number in this sequence..... I KILL at those ones! When I got a job at Sears, again I was told I was off the charts....sigh. It doesn't do me any good!!! Because they figure if you're THAT smart, you must be antisocial or live in another world! It's bitten me in the ass many times. Some bosses see how smart I am and it scares them that I'll get their job. I DON'T WANT IT!!! I just want MY job!
I went to a head hunter about 20 years ago. I did about 4 hours of testing in many, many areas. This man came out to greet me and introduced himself as the vice president and apologized that the president was away. He said I had gotten the highest scoring in the entire history of the company (a big one, but can't remember the name!). He was just so impressed that he had to come out to meet me. I was looking in the $30,000 and up at that point, and he was SURE I'd be placed. They didn't find me a single job!!! No one wants a smarty pants......sigh.
The kinds of questions this current company were asking about personal interactions, were things like...is it okay for someone to steal a pen from the store (NO, I said). I am very black and white when it comes to things like that, so I answered on a scale of 1-10 as 10 (no). Maybe I was supposed to be more in the middle? I give up!!!
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Barbe: I just hate those kind of questions!!! Argggh!!! I was on disability for a year when i was 30 and couldn't go back to a desk job (I herniated some disks in my lower back). The state had me take all of these tests and told me I too, had the highest scores they had ever seen and if I wanted to go back to school to be a doctor, they would pay for it. Ha!! I cannot imagine myself doing anything in the medical field except maybe research now that I am older, but how bored I would be. I like people and being around people is what makes me tick. Sounds as if it's the same for you. Most jobs look for "average" because they don't want someone who can actually use their brain. I remember having to dumb down when I was younger because I spoke over many people's heads. Now, since chemo, I guess I am just average, lol.
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I don't think you'll ever be average MBJ!!! I find a LOT of women on these boards, this thread in particular have a higher intelligence quotient than the average chick walking around. Those of us who seek help, have a firmer grip on reality than those that wait until they have to go in with a straight-jacket on!
I always wanted to be a forensic patholigist! Way back to Quincy Jones....sigh. Just couldn't afford it. I can't imagine being offered the schooling for free!!!
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My Dad did tell me often to be "humble". It used to blow him away when I could figure things out way ahead of everyone around me. He hated that I was so smart so I know what you mean about having to "dumb" yourself down. I did that for ONE job only, then I had to leave. We'd sit around at lunch and talk about SHOES!!??!?!?!?!
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barbe: hahahah! Yeah, it's not easy being smart in a dumb cluckin' world. I have always hated small talk--and just "hanging out" to pass the time has always bored me to tears. Unfortunately, the world is built for average when it should be the other way around. Makes me think of a particular presidential race the time before last where dumb won over smart. Un-cluckin'-believable.
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Small talk??? You mean like "How are you?" I don't even ANSWER that!!! What am I supposed to say???
My step-mother is amazing at small talk. She could have a conversation with a hammer and learn it's five year goal....
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Oh good now I know why I'm so wretched at small talk! Ok well perhaps not but I like the line. My sister is genius level so I know what you all talking about. I used to tease my mother saying you just gave her too much! I'm certainly not dumb but MS has taken more of my brain function than I really want to think about. I took a big neuropsych test for a borderline so if things got worse with MS I could judge how much worse it really was. I must say Barb - my hat's off to you. There was one set that had these patterns and you know how the example is very easy. Well I couldn't begin to understand the example. The man just looked at me and I blankly looked back and he said OK, well nevermind.... Whoops.
Those questions you can do in your sleep are the ones I look and start thinking about grocery lists and such as they just mean nothing to me... Anyway, why have them on the test if they don't want people to get them? The computer thing looking for key words I can understand more than not wanting someone cause they are smart. Don't they want their companies to do well? Isn't that the point? Wow, that is just so strange to ponder....
Anyway, I still can't do small talk - I think I just don't care. Talk to me about something real or let me learn something but the other stuff just never learned it and being a southerner I do believe that might be considered a sin down here in this here southern territory.....
Happy April Fool's Day !!! Too bad both the job interview no goes weren't a cruel joke. But I'm with MJB - Barb - let it give you confidence - not that I really think you actually need any..... LOL
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barbe- Conversation with a hammer! OMG, ILMAO!!! :-D
I used to think being a stay at home mom was dumbing me down as I suddenly couldn't remember anything. Then I read it's a symptom of a lot of auto-immune stuff so here's hoping the new thyro meds make me brilliant again! (Ok, I never was brilliant, but a girl can dream!)
Tonight I'm putting on a t-shirt with bling and my dancing shoes! A group of us are going to this dive bar we discovered that has the most amazing band. I'm going to dance, drink and forget about job hunting for a few hours. Wish you all could come with me! How fun would that be?!?!
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Kate: I hope you had fun dancing the night away (and hopefully you aren't too hungover)! We went to sushi with our neighbors who got married last weekend. So wished I could have gone and also met you!
stanzie: Talking with a hammer--I know people like that, lol!
barbe: Funny thing is, we both work in sales!!! Very strange--I can talk just about anything, but there are some topics of conversation, I just go blank because I so have no interest in it. I have learned to make all of the "appropriate responses" when a conversation goes there with a client, but on my own time, I would just beg for someone to just shoot me now!
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Wow, you guys DO things!! I just work!!!
MBJ, I'm comfortable in sales, or speaking in front of 500 people (done it), but don't make me go into a cocktail party!!! I HATE it! I don't CARE what anyone says, it can't possibly be of interest!!!!
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MBJ- Nope, no hangover. I was the DD so gave myself a one drink limit. (I'm a light weight!) Had a great time though still kind of tired. Hope the thyroid meds start kicking in soon. BTW, just read a post by "wisconsinrandi" on the fat grafting thread. She did her procedure with Dr. Khouri 3 years ago and hasn't had any fat reabsorb. I think because he puts it in a drop at a time, in space that's been created by TE's, implants or BRAVA, his method tends to retain more fat. I guess I'll see what he has to say at my appointment this month. I'll let you know!
barbe- You're obviously going to the wrong cocktail parties! I always have a great time but have discovered I can't talk politics with my neighbors. Everything else is fair game, though. It's probably all those years of being a flight attendant- I've got the small talk thing down. And even though I used to make announcements in front of hundreds of passengers the public speaking thing (outside of the airplane) leaves me quaking in my shoes so I admire you for that!
I think we all have our strengths. Just have to figure out how to use them to our benefit. Hope everyone is having a lovely Saturday today! (((hugs all around)))
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Well, I'm at work. But a good day so far!
I've heard that the fat grafting takes a stupidly amazing amount of time, so that must be the trick. He's basically planting each cell. Wow!
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Barb - I think part of the reason cocktails work is the drinking - easier to talk to people about thinks when you have had a drink. But yes it depends on the crowd as well.
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Hi Ladies!
Haven't been by in awhile . . . just trying to get back to life, ever so slowly.
Hope everyone is doing well. I'm still working on the anti-depressant transition so tamoxifen actually works. First change was off prozac/on effexor. Well I didn't like effexor - made me too speedy and couldn't sleep. So now I'm going off effexor/on celexa and that seems to be going fine so far. I also take Wellbutrin, but I'm weaning off that altogether. Who knows, maybe I'll be just fine without the mood drugs.
Went back to work full-time this past Monday; ended up with a flu bug so didn't work Thurs/Fri, and now spending the weekend resting up so I can go back to work on Monday. Feeling a bit better today than yesterday, so I guess it's going in the right direction.
Have a good weekend ladies!
Kathy
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Hi Kathy! Sounds like things are going good for you. Well, except for the happy pill cocktail they haven't perfected. Oh, and the flu. But other than that you sound good!
Did just the Wellbutrin not work for you? That is what I am on now. It's about the only one I can take that doesn't cause side effects. How is it being back to work? I'm so worried when I start full time (if I can ever find a job, that is) I won't have the stamina for it. I guess we'll see. Hope you continue to recover this weekend! 0 -
Hi Kate - actually wellbutrin works fabulously, but there is some evidence of it messing up the effectiveness of tamoxifen so my onc suggested i get off of it. but that was only after i did some of my own research and told him about it! Here's just a tidbit of info from a PubMed abstract:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20141708: "Recent evidence suggested that some antidepressants inhibit the metabolism of tamoxifen to its more active metabolites by the cytochrome P450 2D6 (CYP2D6) enzyme, thereby decreasing the anticancer effect."
If you google "tamoxifen antidepressant interaction" you'll get all kinds of info.
So I am a little concerned about going off wellbutrin, as there's really not a similar drug to replace it. It works on the dopamine effect in the brain, while others work on serotonin and/or norepinephrine. If I find after a few months off of it that I'm just too down or moody, then I'll have to reconsider.
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Forgot to answer the work question . . .
The BEST thing I did was to start out part-time while I was still getting radiation treatments. Managing the residual fatigue was do-able because I could go home and take naps in the afternoon. And then, since I was having my ovaries out, my gyno-onc surgeon put me out of work for two weeks to recover, and it made sense to go back full-time after that. I can say that I did feel tired in the early evenings after work, but that's fine as it gets me to go to bed rather than staying up watching TV with DH, knowing I have to get up at 0600. I definitely haven't made any plans for evening activities until I know I can handle it. Well, I am going to a play on the 13th, so I guess that'll be my first evening event.
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Mrs. Nice - Interesting about Well butrin - it made me as jumpy as a cat on a hot tin roof. I couldn't handle it at all. I had heard so many good things about it but I would never have slept again if I stayed on it. Was wondering if being on it and can tolerate it would help with fatigue? Hmmm?
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Kate: I am so glad you had a faulous time. I am hoping the thyroid meds help with your fatigue so that when you do go back to work it will no longer be an issue. I am also glad that you are keeping your appointment, as I just wanted to make sure the results were lasting. This was only one PS's opinion and it doesn't mean he is up on the latest techniques! Yay for you--Just wanted you to ask questions as I knew you don't want to go thru several surgeries every couple of years-who does?
Kathy: I hope they have a similar anti-depressant that will work for you as good as the Welbutrin.
Stanzie: I tried Wellbutrin years ago and it was awful! Everyone reacts differently to the meds, that's for sure.
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MBJ- I definitely want to read as much info as I can from both sides of the fat grafting fence. I will be asking a lot of questions of Dr. K when I see him. A member on the other thread said she met a woman at a conference who had Dr. K's procedure 5 years ago and none of the fat has been reabsorbed. So that's encouraging. My DH said, though, even if I had to go through a round of FG every 3-5 years it would be worth the money if it made me happier every day with how I felt. Hoping I don't have to do that, of course. I'm still sitting on the fence, though. Mom and sister tried to talk me out of doing another procedure. (Though in their defense, I had a bad experience after exchange where they OD'd me in the recovery room.) I do think a lot of my depression and unhappiness stems from how I feel and I hope the FG will improve things. I told my sister that there is a chance I'll go through all that and won't feel any better. But if I do nothing than I know for sure I won't feel any better.
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Kate - I think you are going into this with your eyes open and you are looking at if from all angles so I think you will be fine with whatever you decide. It sounds wonderful if it works the way they describe and seems like it would. I do know you have been so unhappy with everything I agree with your husband (how sweet is he! Wow, you are lucky) that being so unhappy isn't good for anyone.
Hope you get your questions answered. When do you go?
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Kate, like I posted above, he seems to do it differently, slowly and more exacting so that's probably why he doesn't have that issue of it disappearing.
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Kate: I am so hapy you have a wonderful and suportive DH! I should have known you would go in with lots of questions. I am hoping when the thyroid meds kick in, you will also have less depression!
Barbe: I read about this procedure a year ago while undergoing chemo. They were doing clinical trials in Japan on women who had lumpectomies. That was the last time I had read up on it and you are right, this sounds a bit different then regular fat grafting. I will be asking my PS about this when I go in on Wednesday! More fat is gooooood!
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Mrs Nice,
new research came out at last Dec's Bc conference in San Antonio-
http://www.dslrf.org/breastcancer/content.asp?L2=1&L3=4&SID=130&CID=2081&PID=4&CATID=0
it suggests that the interference of antidepressants isn't an issue as they thought. I went off Wellbutrin and tried Pristiq instead (similar to Effexor). I took tamoxifen for 6 months and did okay on it- having started it during chemopause, I didn't notice the sexual side effects as much. My period came back while I was on it, 6 months after my last chemo. I went off it temporarily for other reasons last summer (taking Pristiq all the while)- and lo and behold- Sex was enjoyable again! So I didn't go back on it and a few months later went back on Wellbutrin- and whoa- I felt like myself again. I've been on Wellbutrin for about 10 years and it gives me an energy boost- I have started to think my chronic depression is more of a dysthmia, premenstrual mood disorder, lack of energy etc nature.
so after that research came out I thought I'd try tamoxifen again- taking with the Wellbutrin. I still hated its sexual side effects and it also made me very weepy, so now I'm just on Wellbutrin.
I've been on Dr Lam's website MBJ mentioned- I know that something is out of whack- I've had thyroid testing done- came back normal. I have low body temp, I gain weight easily, lots of the other symptoms. Both my parents are hypothyroid. I tried armour Thyroid for awhile it didn't seem to do anything. How much does the phone consult with Dr. Lam cost MBJ?
I just went back to work a couple months ago- I'm still in limbo with them somewhat- waiting for them to give me benefits- my COBRA runs out at the end of May. I'm doing field data collection for 911 systems- away from home for weeks, working 70 hr weeks, but then have time off. I pretty much set my own schedule- if I want to sleep in a couple days and start late, I can. its pretty awesome actually, but going from not working for a year to working 70 hrs a week a few weeks at a time, its been kinda overwhelming, but its great to have some income again.
I feel like the Wellbutrin allows me to function, but the core underlying imbalance is still there. My hormones are out of whack- my cycles been all over the place the last few months.
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Wheeew! That just took me an hour and a half to catch up. I've been super busy with taxes taxes taxes/
Barb and Kate so sorry for what you've endured on your job hunt. I can not believe a stupid test that someone is reading without regard to who you are is a deciding factor in whether you got the job or not. I know it's discouraging but I am a big believer in everything happens for a reason so maybe Kate and Barb you are destined for BIGGER and BETTER things. I never finished college either..I've worked since I was 13 years old and in public accounting since I was 18. Years ago because i didn't have my BS in acctg I was asked to take a test. I scored very high and got the job but felt humiliated that i had to go through that(it was such a stupid basic accounting test). When I was younger I didn't have the money to pay for school and then when I finally made the money I didn't have the time or desire to go to school at night or weekends. I worked hard and I've sorta made a name for myself in town and now I work for myself and contract myself out. This tax season I ended up being swamped working every day including Sundays for the last 5 weeks. I refuse to take any test and I do the interviewing. You ladies have so much personality and smarts!! Turn the tables around, interview the prospective employers. Any company would be lucky to have either one of you!!!! Maybe you should make a list like MBJ said of what you want out of a job, maybe it would take you down a different path.
We've all been through so much and I know this seems hard but you've made it through worse..you WILL FIND A JOB YOU WILL FIND A JOB
Kate you should do the revision surgery if you are not happy with your results. I had three revisions and the third time was a charm!! I can't even tell you how much it has lifted my spririts. I finally felt like my old self again. Sure I've had some meltdown days but before my final revision I could barely get myself out of bed. I was miserable and never thought I would be happy with how I looked.
On a final note...I went to the ENT last week and have a SEVERELY deviated septum and collapsed nasal valve (i think that's what he said) and another sinus infection which is why I am sooooooo tired by 3pm every day. So I am getting a ct scan next week and YUP heading back into surgery!! I ahve decided my personal goal is to be done with surgery, back in fighting shape and have Charlie socialized with other dogs by my 45th bday in September!! Anyone have sinus surgery, i am getting mixed reviews on the procedure and nto sure if I should do it...although I would love to breath through my nose.
I hope everyone has a great week...I can't believe it's April...summer will be here soon.
Diane
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Diane- Thanks for the encouraging words! You really lifted my spirit. I've been weighing my options this week trying to decide what my plan of attack is now. I think I am leaning towards the revision but am worried about putting the job hunt on hold. But I could still be searching 3 months from now and then I'll be kicking myself that I didn't do it. Sorry about your deviated septum. (Always wished I had one of those so insurance would pay for the nose job I always wanted! LOL!) Sorry you have to go through the whole surgery thing again. No fair, no fun!
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