Great saying about depression

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  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited May 2011

    Anyone hear from Kate since she has gotten home? Hope she is alright.

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited May 2011

    Stanzie- Aawww, thanks for worry about me.  Makes me feel so loved! :)

    Sorry I haven't been on.  Internet was out at my house for a few days.  I am back home and doing good.  It was definitely the hardest surgery I have ever gone through and the PS's office doesn't really do anything to make it easier.  Thank God I read up on what to expect on some threads on here or it would have been much worse.  So happy to be home now.  Already I'm seeing some improvement.  The skin over my breasts is warm to the touch and I can no longer feel the implants except right underneath the fold of the breast.  I have a more natural slope and the cleavage area isn't as bony.  And no more rippling.  It's hard to say if the pain issues have been resolved since I am so incredibly bruised right now and I'm still on pain meds.  I do have some concerns, though.  The backs of my arms are numb and I'm not sure if that's because he did the incisions in the armpits rather than under the fold of the breast like I had done before.  And I feel way too big.  I'm hoping that it's all swelling and when that goes away, and some of the fat gets reabsorbed, that I'll be closer to the size I told him I wanted to be.  I'm doing really good, though.  Even did a bunch of loads of laundry yesterday though my DH scolded me  and ordered me back to the couch today.  LOL!  The bruising from the FG has turned into a plethora of different colors.  Not a pretty sight!  Hopefully it will all be worth it.

    DiDel- Glad your surgery went well.  Hope you are feeling fantastic after all that.   Ten years is WAY too long for you to suffer with all those infections.  Hopefully, this will be something you never have to deal with again.  Happy breathing, my friend! :)

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited May 2011

    I am in such a funk today.  I know part of it is trying to flush all the anesthesia out of my body.  It always does a number on me and takes awhile to get rid of it.  I remember my doctor telling me that for every hour you're under it takes about a month to completely recover.  I hope it doesn't take that long!  I wish I could fast forward 6 months.  Even though I wanted to have this revision surgery it feels like a giant step backwards.  I look in the mirror and I'm bruised and swollen and so not looking good right now.  My brain feels fuzzy from the drugs.  And I'm just so tired and worn out.  This is probably the hardest surgery I've had yet I went into it the least prepared- physically that is.  I don't see any change in the swelling yet and so, of course, I panic and think, "What have I done?"  I am just so damn weary of all of this.  :(

  • hopefulhealing
    hopefulhealing Member Posts: 581
    edited May 2011

    Kate it is ok. You are weary, you have been through so much and with your hubby's dx now. You have so much to deal with.  Give it time. Easy to say hard to do. Remember how it was after your first exchange and how it changed some. It is ok to be weary. Rest and be careful.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited May 2011

    Kate I'm in a funk too with too much pain issues myself. Either my FM is out of control or my knees are shot or I'm about to collapse.....I don't know.

    I have heard ladies talking about the 'drop and fluff' of implants, so you have that yet to occur. Also, you retain a TON of water when you have surgery so some of the swelling WILL go down. I don't think on a revision of another surgeons' surgery that your new surgeon wouldn't listen to you! You have been very brave - you have to cut yourself some slack. A long surgery, out-of-town to boot! and your DH's diagnosis finally confirmed is enough to send to into an FM flare. At least you'll have something pretty at the end of your funk! I'll still just me me...only sadder....Cry

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited May 2011

    Thanks for the support you guys.  I'm feeling better now.  I know I'm being way too impatient and that it'll take time to see the final results.  Just have to stop second guessing myself.  

    barbe- I'm sorry you're sad.  You have had to endure so many overlapping challenges and you've done it with humor and grace.  Even with all of your issues going on you are always there to give someone else a kind word and support.  I think you are beautiful- inside and out!  (((hugs))) 

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited May 2011

    Barbe:  So sorry you are feeling down and I know sometimes it isn't easy to get up and get on with your day with so many difficulties but we are all here for you.  Hugs!

    Kate:  I agree with Barbe, you have alot on your plate and you just want to be done but it does take time to heal.  I think you are going to look amazing and feel great after you are all healed.  I hope it relieves most of your pain so you can cope with your new circumstances.  Gentle hugs to you! 

  • LG300
    LG300 Member Posts: 512
    edited May 2011

    (((Hugs))) Barbe and Kate.

  • didel
    didel Member Posts: 733
    edited May 2011

    Aww Barb! Ditto what Kate says...You always have such a great sense of humor and kind encouraging words for anyone who needs it. Sorry you are feeling blue. I tried to upload a funny picture of my pup to cheer you up but I am technologically challenged. I will keep trying. The other day I YELLLLLLLLED at Charlie as he stole and chewed my new running shoes in the ten minutes I was in the shower. I swear I was like " I'm taking you back to the farm...no more treats.."" yelling at him for a good 45 minutes before dropping him off to doggie daycare. Then an hour later daycare called me and asked me what he ate because he was throwing up since I dropped him off. I told them my running shoe and that was about it..then about 3 hours later the vet called. When I saw her number my heart sank. I felt so guilty for yelling at him. The vet told me she did some xrays and all was ok she thought he had a virus. I just felt so bad still..when I picked him up from the vets (which he peed in the face of the vet as she xrayed him LOL) he was happy as can be. Absolutely no recollection of my morning rant..kissed my face all over...When I put him in the car he had like this GIANT smile on his face and I snapped the picture. It's really funny I will try to post. It will bring a smile to your faces too!

    Kate NO RIPPLES YEAAAAAHHH!! My PS said the swelling can take up to a year to totally go away but I bet not that long. Im glad you feel good...thats half the battle. I also heard that it takes a month for every hour under...I'm looking at March 2012 before it's out of my system.. I am still having some fatigue but I know it will be gone soon. I've had 6 surgeries in a year and I hope I never have surgery again for the rest of my very long life!! Although I do love me some propafol Wink

    The only reason it took so long for me to have the sinus surgery was because I was afraid but once I went through so many and this one was only 1 1/2 hrs long I thought it would be a breeze which it was. OH also Kate my PS give his patient Arnica Montana for bruising. I would start to take it two days pre-op then for a week post op. With everything I've had done..even the lipo not one bruise on my body. You should see if you can get some even if its post op it should help your bruising go away.

    Well I am happy the sun was out today on the east coast and that I got this giant glob of goo out of my nose a little while ago HA HA..

    Hope you all feel better soon, Hugs to all

    Diane

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited May 2011

    Diane, how happy we are to know you got a glob out of your nose!! Seriously!! Who would think we'd feel better for you, knowing that every time it happens, you get clearer breathing and the healing continues. A girlfriend just wouldn't understand the same way, I'm sure.....

    I'd LOVE to see the picture of the puppy!!!

    Kate, every day your body is healing in tiny bits and you are moving forward inch by inch. Arnica is good for bruising and I am AMAZED that Diane has none!! I've heard it's good....

    The sunshine has helped. We had 2 days of it, but now cloudy and spitting again. Oh well, I'm working anyway!!

  • didel
    didel Member Posts: 733
    edited May 2011

    Ok here ya go!! I forgot my Facebook password and havent learned how to synch photos from my new phone to my computer...told ya not an IT expert.

     

  • didel
    didel Member Posts: 733
    edited May 2011
    My sweet Charlie
  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited May 2011

    DiDel- Oh, what a sweet puppy!  Thanks for sharing your photos!  Glad Charlie is o.k.  The best thing about dogs is all the unconditional love they give us.  We can have a bad day and they never hold it against us.  Glad you are feeling better, too.

    I had totally forgotten about the arnica.  I am going to have to get some though the bruising is looking much better today.  The swelling seems to have gone down, too.  The most bothersome thing is I've had a sore throat ever since the surgery.  Not sure if it's just sore from the breathing tube or what.  I know I should probably go see my GP about it but haven't quite mustered the energy to do it yet.

    barbe- Glad to hear you are working!  Did I miss a post?  Is this a new job?  Old job?   

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited May 2011

    Kate:  So glad the bruising is looking better and the swelling is going down.  I had a sore throat for awhile after my MX from the darned breathing tube.  Hope that's all it is! 

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited May 2011

    Didel:  Cute dog!!!  What a great grin!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited May 2011

    Thanks for the doggy grin...hehehehehheehe

    Kate, I haven't stopped working - same old same old. I'm glad the swelling and bruising is going down; healing in little bits every day. The throat is annoying, but consider how long that tube was in there. You're doing GREAT!

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited May 2011

    Thanks barbe!  My DH made an appointment for me with our GP to have my throat checked just in case.  He needed to be seen for something else so he'll be driving me.  It'll actually be nice to get out of my p.j.'s and out of the house!  

    I'd been going through my usual post-op depression these past few days as most of my friends have gone into hiding.  The same thing happens with every surgery and I just will never understand it.  I don't know if they think this surgery was no big deal so no need to check in or what.  Or maybe they're just tired of talking about it though I do try to keep that to a minimum.  I've never wanted to be one of those people who go on and on about their physical ailments.  But would it kill them to call and see how I am or drop a card in the mail?  Just about the point where I get over it I've had another surgery and my feelings get hurt all over again.   

  • Stanzie
    Stanzie Member Posts: 1,611
    edited May 2011

    Oh Kate!!! I'm so sorry, that is wretched isn't it. Surgery is always a big deal I think! And recovery.... well shoot who wouldn't mind some extra attention and care, it isn't too much to ask. It always hurts my feelings as well. I mean just a quick call or card would be lovely.

    Well hope they rally forth now that you are back - hope the throat isn't anything big. Thinking of you and sending alots of (hugs) and TLC!!

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited May 2011

    Thanks Stanzie!  I am always amazed at how much support I get on here from my "cyber friends" yet so little in real life.  Wish I could swap them out and have all of you here in my neighborhood!  How great would that be?  

    Just curious is anyone is on Facebook?  If so, drop me a PM!  Would love to be FB friends as well! 

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited May 2011

    Kate:  Sorry to hear that!  I know that 3 friends showed up at the hospital when I had my MX but no one even called during my last two, so I just chalk it up to their busy work/family lives and try not to take it too personally.  It's no excuse but I have come to believe they just have absolutley no idea what we go through!  Gentle hugs and glad you are getting out of the house even if it's just to get your throat checked.  BTW:  I am on Facebook--what name are you under there?

  • hopefulhealing
    hopefulhealing Member Posts: 581
    edited May 2011

    Kate I know what you mean. I still am so sad about how a certain group of friends abandoned me. Because I did not want to share the surgyery type they just disappeared it seems. I told them I had BC, that I was in the hospital the third time in 3.5 weeks for my third surgery and suffering from horrible complications going home on IV antibiotics via a PICC line. Guess they needed the "what I had cut off " stuff. Sorry not sharing the dirt.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited May 2011

    Determined, in all fairness, hearing antibiotics would scare me away from visiting you! The other gals are just scared about how much surgery is involved with bc!!

  • didel
    didel Member Posts: 733
    edited May 2011

    Funny thing about friends...when I needed a ride to surgery no one even responded to my text..but when I need a glass of wine and dinner everyone is in! I just think its all overwhelming for our friends. They try to be there but its scary, time consuming and depressing. Some people just don't know what to say anymore..for those who are not comfortable but try I love them and their support has been amazing...some who think its contagious think I just got a boob job and make zero attempt to get it..I have no time for.

    I hope Charlie's smile made you smile! I have the dreaded JURY DUTY tomorrow in Baltimore City...let's see is it a murder case, drug case, stolen property, buglary or gang related charge....GUILTY if they didn't do it this time they probably have before...hahaha I think that's the attitude I need to be dismissed! I am not looking forward to sitting in that non-air conditioned building all day.

    Hope all is well, Kate Happy Healing!!

    Diane

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited May 2011

    My tests were all okay simply by the fact they couldn't find any ovaries!! So, I have to consider that no news is good news! I just saw the doc yesterday for results and he gave me a bladder relaxer in case it is my bladder in spasms. I go back in 6 weeks.

  • MBJ
    MBJ Member Posts: 3,671
    edited May 2011

    Barbe:  Yay for the good news!!! 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited May 2011

    Thanks! I do feel like I dodged another bullet, but would still like to know what the pain is from!

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited May 2011

    barbe- I can so relate to your post.  Every time I would get tests results back that were negative it was almost a let down because I thought if it were positive I would finally have a definitive DX and a treatment plan.  And that meant there was a possibility that they could fix the pain.  It's not like we want to be sick.  We just want to not be in pain any more!

    DiDel- Ugh, jury duty!  So far I've managed to dodge that bullet!  (Of course now that I said that guess what's going to be in my mailbox today?)  Can't you use the big "C" to get out of it.  It's got to be good for something!

    I'm feeling so much better today!  Even managed to get out last night.  My DH, DS and I went to an art exhibit that my DS's school put on.  He had several pieces on display so I'm really glad I was able to go.  I'm even going to try to get my butt on the treadmill today since it's already too hot here to walk outside.  Hope everyone is having a great day! 

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 7,605
    edited May 2011

    Kate! You're healing in BIG steps now!!! Good for you. The trip home must have set you back some, so to be out and about now is wonderful! You said it right about not getting a diagnosis. Makes me feel like a hypochondriac!!

  • Kate33
    Kate33 Member Posts: 1,936
    edited May 2011

    barbe- It makes me feel that way a lot, too.  It's so hard having any kind of auto-immune disease because the symptoms are all over the map and seem to come and go.  It does make you feel like a hypochondriac and it is so frustrating!  What's really hard is when even your own doctor doesn't get it.  All I can think about is with all the money I've spent on medical tests trying to figure WTH is going on with my body I could probably own a vacation home in the Caribbean by now!  

  • didel
    didel Member Posts: 733
    edited May 2011

    OMG I just cried so hard watching Oprahs final show. She really is a beautiful person and sometimes I watch and feel like she is talking to me. I can't tell you how many times I watched when I was sick and it just made me feel so much better. I will miss her words of wisdom.. I know it may sound corny but I love her!

    Barb so glad to hear all is well...i know that was a hard procedure for you and was waiting patiently for your report. So happy for you hopefully they will figure out your pain issue and resolve it soon. Maybe you have to poop! That's what my GYN and GP say every time I tell them I am having pains in my ovaries. I think it's their go to answer for anything below the belly button

    So here's kind of a long story I think I shared some of....in February I went to my Oncologist office and they EXPANDED the office so much so the patients waiting area is virtually ...no it is IN THE LOBBY of the hospital...so everyone walks in from the parking garage towards the elevator gawks at all the pooor sick cancer patients! So I have complained to everyone I could even writing a letter to the hospital administrator about how appauld I was at the lack of privacy they extend to their cancer patients and that obviously he's never sat in those seats. Well Monday I had my 3 month visit with my Onc who happens to be Head of the Department. He apologized for everything and said that they will be making changes to the waiting area over the summer. Until then I will be waiting for them to call me in the Cancer Library. Although I am not thrilled about the set up and slow moving changes I am happy to have really been heard. Oh and they refunded me my copay since at my last appt my onc went home sick and afer waiting an hour and paying my co pay they told me the NP was going to see me and they lost my bloodwork so the visit was a huge waste of time...but i love me a refund!

    Lastly I got selected to sit on a jury of a civl trial that will last until NEXT WEDNESDAY!! UGH...it's the dumbest case too! And I swear I continue to be amazed at how grown people can not follow simple instructions. I do not know how they ever find jurors. UGH...it's gonna be a lonnnnng week. No phone ..no computer...must stay awake AND pay attention the entire time. This will be a true test of my strength and patience LOL

    Have a great week everyone!

    Diane