Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Hi Ladies
Rak your more of a spring chicken than me lol. Good that you heard from the animal control guy.
Joanne I am glad to learn that i am not the only one that goes into restaurants and wonders why some of these women have men and I don't.
Well I just heard (again) from this 50 year old guy on pof. He is a hunk but geez, he is only 50 years old. He is 13 years younger than me. I really don't think I can handle this idea.
One of my friends married a guy a year ago that is 21 years younger than her. She is 65.
She seems very happy with him. Personally, I could not deal with it. Could you imagine how peppy that age of a guy would be. Just thought of having to have sex makes me tired lol
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Hi paintedlady --- I am not too sure why a woman would want a man with that much age difference -- and why would a man want it --- I just don't get it --- I want someone within 5 years of me - up or down is fine.
I just got back from 2 weeks vacation and drove through your neck of the woods - I was in Port Charlotte - go there every year -- love it and it is a great escape from our winters here in Ontario, Canada ... although this year we hardly had one. One of the weeks I was away the temps here were in the 70s which is great for March.
Joanne
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Talking about age differences. . . My ( deceased ) husband was 15 years my senior and we married when he was 59. At that time he was healthy, vibrant and very active. When he turned about 65 and his health started deteriorating, I did LOTS of nurse duty. He was always very appreciative and loving, but sometimes I felt like a home health care worker, not a wife and grumbled to myself, "what the hell was I thinking marrying this old guy?". On the other hand, my neighbor married a guy 13 years her junior, (she's 51 and going thru menopause) and she says she's exhausted from the nightly bedroom gymnastics. So I agree, I only am interested in dating someone very close to my age!
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Hi Ladies! I haven't been on here in a while. The Italian guy Tony, who I thought kind of boring from our first date, seems to be working out. I don't know if I mentioned it, but unless they are a complete jerk, I give them a 2nd chance. The 2nd date was better and it continues to improve. We have been out like 10 or 11 times since that 1st date March 14th. He came to our family Easter dinner and we see each other almost every day.
He knows about the breast cancer but doesn't seem to be very concerned about it. Perhaps he doesn't understand that because I had one positive lymph node and turned down chemo & the Femara, that my longevity may be in question.
But anyhow we had not been intimate until yesterday. I was actually turned on which I didn't think could happen. Unfortunately I now have a very sore spot on my labia (is this TMI?). I was advised on the "Sex" thread to try cocoa butter. Since we are both Christians and don't believe in sex before marriage (it's okay to roll your eyes), we were both feeling a little guilty and told ourselves that this will not happen again.
Anyway he is talking marriage! I think it's the sex thing. He's 65 and in great shape and has a head of hair you just cannot believe! He has a beautiful condo, unfortunately I hate the way it's decorated) but I am trying to stay positive. The important things are there but I still have a lot to learn about him before I even consider marriage. Is he the type of man that will stay with me if the cancer comes back? Are we on the same intellectual level? He has 4 degrees and is highly intelligent AND has common sense which don't seem to go together very often. I have been to college, but didn't complete. He also speaks 5 languages fluently!
He asked me where I see myself next year, in 5 years, etc. I told him when I received the cancer diagnosis I quit planning my life past the next few days.
I guess time will tell. He told me to get a passport as half his family still live in Italy. So I guess I will just see what happens. I'm trying to learn some Italian but it's confusing to me because I know some Spanish and I keep getting them mixed up.
Nobody has any great love news to share??
D.
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Hello Denise
I was wondering what happened to you. I guessed that you were busy with your new beau.
Sounds like things are going very well. I know what you mean about the sex thing. When I tell guys my view, I usually don't hear from them again.
Don't worry about the "intellectual level": If it was an issue, he wouldn't keep seeing you, speak about marriage etc. I am sure you are a very intelligent person.
Glad it is all going positive.
I left you a pm a while ago.
Have fun and don't worry
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Hi Denise ! So very happy for you ! Sounds like an adventure in love happening....Good to hear ! Have fun with it. Best wishes !
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Denise, remember one thing --- education is important but just because you do not have it does not mean that he is any smarter then you --- you seem from what I have read to be a very intellient, caring and common sense kind of woman. Good luck to you with whatever decision you make.
Joanne
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So happy for you Denise! Take it as slowly as you need to. And enjoy!! xo
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Thank you ladies! I will keep you abreast (pun intended).
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So glad to hear things are going so well. I wouldn't worry about your education or lack of same. You sound very intelligent to me.
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Yay for you Denise!! We're all here rooting for you and patiently await the next installment!
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Oh yeah, and we want DETAILS!! xo
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I'll get back with you, I promise.
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Hey ladies, just checking in...nothing new to report here at all! Happy to hear some of you are getting out there and dating, best of luck! XO
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My friend met a guy who was 49 (she is 72!) It was purely physical and didn't last more than a few times. Now she is with an 80 year old -sounds like a much better match. He's married though -but she has always dated the married ones. I just can't see doing that to the wife. We women have to stick together
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agreed dogs and jogs--
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Denise - I am very happy for you. Remember two things :1) True love waits. It takes a LONG time to get to know a mans true character and 2) Nothing is TMI with your sisters.
Peace.0 -
so things are heating up in the desert and not just the heat! Gonna meet a guy from OKCupid on Sat. and the animal control guy on Tues. Gonna have to drag out the old make-up bag. It's gotten dusty! Getting exhausted just thinking about it
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Woo Hoo rakulynda ! Have fun and good luck !
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rakulynda --- enjoy and have fun --- I know I am jealous --
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Good for you Raku. I have heard OKCupid is for younger folks? Or no?
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Not at all. You can set parameters like pof.
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Nice to know for future reference.
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I was diagnosed in January and have chosen to have a mastectomy (this month on the 25th.) For several reasons that perhaps I'll share over time, dating has always been a challenge for me. That said, I deeply and genuinely believe that my One will appear once I'm through treatment. Why? Because my cancer journey has pushed me to heal at every level including attending to the emotional baggage that has made me so scared of the intimacy that I seek. It's, like, after facing down cancer, I'm gonna be afraid of some dude? LOL! Seriously, I have no doubt that it'll be challenging at times, but there's a way that this experience is making me fearless. I know that part of beating cancer is resolving unfinished emotional business that existed prior to the diagnosis, and in many ways, that has been a scarier thing to do. I feel if I can do this, there's nothing I can't do; there has to be some man wise (and worthy) enough to want a woman like me. And I'm 42. And because of the major changes in lifestyle I've made since my diagnosis, I am in the best shape I've been in a long time and feel very optimistic about embracing, taking care of an enjoying my new body. I know it'll be a process, but I'm ready to take it on.
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CityFi - good for you!!!! I have not had any man I've dated since my DMX take off after I told them. There are decent men in this world, but like a diamond, which is not easy to find, when you find the one, it is a lovely thing.
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CitiFi - you have a great attitude and outlook.
Karyn
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CitiFi - with such a wonderful attitude as yours, you can't go wrong! Glad to see you on this thread and stay tuned for some good laughs, heartbreaks and great advice if wanted! Just knowing you're not alone out there makes the journey a little less terrifying.
So to everyone following my dating adventures - met with Arthur from OkCupid yesterday for coffee and the first thing he tells me is no, he's not 65 like his profile stated, he's 70!!!! His profile went on and on how he does't look like he's 65 and age is just a number blah blah blah. Well, he looked 70 and was kinda messy - a big drip on his shirt, crumbs in his beard, etc. He was a very nice man, though, has written a number of books and we had an interesting conversation. Period. Certainly not the man of my dreams but perhaps a friend to have dinner with ocassionally. Where o where are you Prince Charming? Maybe he'll be the guy I' m meetin Tuesday for coffee. . .not holding my breath, though!0 -
Hi Ladies
Welcome City
Rak you seem to be getting dates from OKCupid. I am signed up there and have gotten one contact! I must be too old for them.
Denise I am waiting to hear more about your dating adventure.
I didn't find any Prince Charming this weekend! Went to a singles dance last night: It was dead.
Have to go now
Have a marvelous day
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Hi All, Welcome City, just love your positive attitude !!! 0
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Citi ! sounds great and I'm sure you will find someone wonderful! Hey noticed your dog, what kind? Looks like a sheltie? That is what my puppy is so wondering....
Has anyone used e-harmony? I haven't joined but did fill out a profile and I think they had a teaser list of men cause since that first list they haven't been very interesting. Of course I'm saying this without actually joining and learning more so not really fair just don't want to join something and find it is a waste of time.
Have a friend who paid the big bucks for Let's do Lunch and that has turned out to be terrible. Only set her up twice - neither of which were anything like what she filled out and they haven't done a thing since... Way too much money for that to happen. When she had her one on one interview the woman didn't show the first time then kept changing the place and when they finally met didn't really ask her questions or help her much. Sounds like a scam to me... so be careful.
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