Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Hm, I'm not too impressed. He sounds kind of silly to me with all the lame jokes. But I feel old and crabby today, so maybe that's why
I don't like when they mention that they don't want women over a certain age. If he is only 50 why doesn't he want anyone over 49?. Unless he was joking about that too.
I am 76 so I put on my profile that I would consider any age up to 90. You do have to be flexible.
I also didn't mention that I wanted someone fit and slender - why be so picky?
Bottom line: If they were as perfect as they want us to be they wouldn't be on a dating site.
I think he should have just written the last paragraph and left out the rest. But then I don't like obvious types of humor - I'm more the dry humor type--
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Teenagers are tough to get along with - luckily they do outgrow those attitudes of theirs---
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Mybee: My Dad was very reserved - I don't remember him ever giving me a hug. But that was a different age - men weren't as demonstrative 60,70 years ago
I adored him of course - probably because he wasn't available to me very much. He was gone a lot with his job too.
My mother was just the opposite; very needy and had severe mood swings. We kids never knew what to expect from her - it was like living with a time bomb.
Anyway, my parents divorced when I was 11 and I missed having a dad around very much. So my choices in men have been my dad's type: very good-looking, very reserved. But I often would mistake their reserve for brains (since my dad was very intelligent)
To his day I just can't stand a needy guy - someone who wants to be waited on and told he is wonderful (even if he isn't) I'm too honest for most men; probably that is why I'm alone---but I won't settle---better off alone--
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Stanzie - you didn't upset me at all. I know you would never post anything that you think would upset others. I've read a lot of profiles like that one (altho' not as humorous) and I kinda don't get them. They're a little over the top for me. But that's okay. Thank you for the compliments. You are very sweet to say so many nice things about me. Sweet and thoughtful as you always are
I am pretty certain it is my Aromasin that is making me so bleak. Not sure what to do about that.......Dogs - I think the guys profile was full of a number of contradictions and not being cocky was one of them. Your household growing up sounds very much like mine. My Dad was very reserved and critical. He kind of hugs us hello and good bye, or used to, but it was rigid. He had a certain way of greeting you and leaving you. It was I think, based in his German heritage. It was pretty stiff. Your description of your Mom could have been mine. They were a terrible mix together and divorced when I was 12. Yeah - a lot of guys turn me off if they seem too needy so I do end up with some reserved, emotionally unavailable types. I'm too honest for most men too. Can't seem to play the game. It was a problem with Tony and I; he wanted to be fawned over, I think. It's good I'm alone now, probably will be for quite a while. I can take care of my kids now (yes -living with two teens is hard) and myself. I am still regaining my strength from all these surgeries too.
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Mybee, I have been talking with a guy the past couple of days. He lives in the same town as I do. After a little more talking on the site, I figured out who he was. So we exchanged numbers today. He is a guy that lives in the neighborhood next to mine. Our kids go to the same school and we have a mutual friend. My best friend. lol She had told me about him before and tried to set us up, but I told her no. He seems nice. I did tell him about the cancer on the first phone call and he was ok with it. My bf says he is a great guy and he is totally my type. So we shall see.
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Sounds very cool.
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Mybee: I have that problem too - being disarmingly frank or brutally honest (depending on who you are talking to)
I think we are both doing the right thing - waiting until we feel we are ready to get serious about anyone. It is pretty difficult for me to trust anyone - don't want to be hurt again-
I re-married when my kids were 10 and 12 so had help until they were grown.
Hang in there - I am sure they love you a lot, but they are at an age when they are testing the waters (so to speak)
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Sounds promising ! Keep us posted----
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That disarmingly frank/brutally honest thing - not so great sometimes with female friendships either
I do know my kids will come around; It's just a question of time. We are a close family really, the 4 of us, all in all. It's just waiting out the rough weather. Thank you for the encouragement.
Maybe that not trusting is a good thing. I gave away my trust way too easily for too long. It's got to be earned now, over time and by learning a man's character. Words just are not going to do it anymore. And I think that is a good thing that has been a long time in coming; a good lesson finally learned. And really, what is the point if it's not going to work out in the long run anyway? Heart, time, soul and love - all should not be wasted. It is good to wait for what is right.
Good night my friends.
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Well after talking on the phone until after midnight last night and then talking for most of the day today, I went over to his house a few hours ago to meet him. Now let me say if we did not have a mutual friend and she had not already given her approval as to him being a good person I would NOT have gone over to his home. I would have met him in a nutral location. Lets just say I was VERY pleased and I am trying not to get to excited about where this might lead. He does not see the cancer as a negative but a positive as to my strength of character. I will say he CAN talk! lol I thought I was bad, but he can really talk. The only other negatives I see are that he is very into taking care of himself (generally not a bad thing but you can go over board with it) and his ex. I met her years ago (I doubt she remembers, because I didn't) and when she finds out he is dating someone, all hell is going to break loose! Not saying that he and I will start dating but she is just one of those exes.
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Maybe he is just saying that about his ex. Wants you to think She is still interested in him so that YOU will be more interested. Sounds kind of juvenile, but some men are like that.
I had one date with a guy who showed me how wrinkle-free his bare arms were (because he took such good care of his skin) and he also mentioned that his ex was insanely jealous of anyone he went out with. He seemed pleased about it.
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He didn't say that. I did and since we have a mutual friend, my bestfriend, I have been checking out everything he says with her. She has known him longer than she has known me. She was friends with his ex, but because of the way she changed and is now, she is no longer friends with her.
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Oh, I see. I just assumed he had told you about the ex. Sorry--
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He did mention her, but most of what I know my bf told me.
I will say he is VERY VERY PROUD of his body. While it does look very nice (very muscular) and he is cute, but he is not all that. lol I have dated better looking men. I can see this being a problem.0 -
Hm---maybe he is insecure for some reason. People who focus too much on their looks are, don't you think?
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I had one date with a guy who showed me how wrinkle-free his bare arms were (because he took such good care of his skin) and he also mentioned that his ex was insanely jealous of anyone he went out with. He seemed pleased about it.
That's funny
Who's proud of having wrinkle free arms...........lol0 -
Wrinkle free arms! lmao oh my goodness that is so funny!
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I know---and it was rude too because I DO have a lot of wrinkles from my years of sunbathing --
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Insensitivity rears it's ugly head once again.
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Actually he was the type who really doesn't consider anyone else's feelings. It was all about him. First he bragged about his sports car and tried to scare me by speeding all the way to a fancy restaurant in Malibu where we had drinks (only) no dinner, even though it was dinner time.
He acted like he owned the restaurant too---and he spent the whole time talking about himself and didn't even ask me anything.
It was an odd date. He was an ex of my mom's friend. She, the friend, said he wanted to meet me, but she warned me that there were reasons they were no longer married. But she didn't want to jinx the date beforehand by telling me--
PS Almost forgot, he told he had a face lift and told me how much he paid. I was speechless--
We never went out again (needless to say)
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Wow!! Dating can really give you some great stories, can't it?
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Wow!!! that really is some story! I would have really worried about you if you said you dated for a while - lol! Can't imagine him finding ANYONE ... ok, so maybe a very young naive shallow person would be perfect!
On match I have recently read a couple of profiles which say I am no longer on match but here is my email cryptically but not really they pretty much spell it out. Interesting. Then one of them goes to that much trouble to put on his email then says I don't really have any time or interest to date unless you like to hang out at high school basketball games as I'm a coach???? oooh doesn't that make you want to run and call him? He must think he is such a catch women will be lining the bleachers just to be near.... OH MY!
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Stanzi the moderators on the dating sites won't allow any e-mail addresses to be shown. I did find one guy because he mentioned he was a musician so I googled him---he never responded to me though. I don't think I would have liked hanging out in bars though, watching him, been there, done that---
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Hi Everyone
Just scanned your posts.
Stanzie thanks for being concerned about me.My computer wasnt working: This is a new one.
Been very busy with this guy. Things seem to be progressing.
Going for a plastic surgery consult next week: The radiation kind of made my breast different from the nonradiated one.
Hope all of you are doing well
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Stanzie - I've seen a number of those too. It's like "I'm too cheap to join so contact me this way". Or it may be a fishing for women's personal email addresses. Either way or for whatever reason, it is weird. Maybe your coach doesn't want to date. Maybe he is saying he is available..........but not for dating, just for sex. Quick hook ups.
i exchanged a couple of emails recently with a guy who seemed nice enough. He just posted some new pics. I saw them this morning. The look in his eyes in a couple of them is scary. He looks like a serial killer. Really. i saw Tony, my old BF's profile in the spring before we met, and never contacted him because I thought that in one pic he had really cold eyes. Then when HE contacted me in the fall, I thought well, he looks warm in the one picture. I should have gone with my gut impression!! In the 'colder' pic he had his shirt off (another red flag) and I later, MUCH later found out that he took it while he was married, to find a sex partner on Adult Friend Finders (AFF). At the point I found that out, he had already painted the poor me picture of being married to a cold unaffectionate woman, he was a desperate man, blah, blah, blah, etc. The red flags were there from the first instant I laid eyes on him. Again - I know now to trust my first impression!!
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Oh dogs- I wasn't going to post an email address I was just saying what he wrote on his profile - his email was criptically written - sorry if that was confusing.
Oh Mybee- yikes but hindsight is always better. Interesting though you noticed the cold eyes. I know what you mean there was one yesterday whose picture absolutly gave me cold chills he looked so evil and scary. Can't imagine anyone contacting him... It is scary out there.
Painted Lady! Oh thank goodness- I was worried! Very glad things are going well and that it was only a computer problem!
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Painted lady .. Glad to hear from you .. You had has all wondering where you where.
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I don't think I'll ever have sex again! I just had my Mx a month ago and did not get reconstruction cause I thought at 60 what for? and I'm single, well now I'm having second thoughts about the reconstruction cause I know I would never let anyone see my body like this! that scar looks plain ugly!!
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You are still so early in the recovery process - you can still get reconstruction if you decide you want to - you haven't missed that opportunity... just right now you are still dealing with so much emotionally.... hang in there it does get easier...
Just want to say, I checked the daily matches they send you and I burst out laughing. I'm not kidding everyone one of these goody old men had their sunglasses on their foreheads !!! Someone needs to tell them that is NOT a come hither look - it is a oh my gosh he is so old he doesn't know where he put his glasses!!!
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Emerald -- for the right guy, the scar won't be a deal-breaker. I didn't get reconstruction for the same reason (at 62) and then at 65 went on e-Harmony and matched with a guy who saw beyond the lack of one breast.
For those concerned about cheap guys who don't pay to be listed -- he contacted me during a "free weekend" and we went on to regular email and yes, he IS frugal ... or as we prefer to say, "financially sensible". But then, so am I.
So ... fast forward, we've been together 1-1/2 years, married 7 months. Sometimes good things DO happen.
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