Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Congratulations!
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Nice to see everyone.
Karyn - What a tough time you went through there. It is so hard sometimes what life deals us.
None of us really knows what God has planned for us, so with that I just move forward. Kiley - I like this. This is nice. I am sorry to hear about your Dad. It's hard to lose a loved one.
Yes - financial issues are tough being single. A single income household is a challenge, that is for sure. Good to remember the above quote.
My Dad is in the hospital. He has had congestive heart failure for 3 years but something new has developed and they don't know what it is. He was having perceptual difficulties, now becoming delusional and paranoid. And mean and angry too (always was there under the surface). I am afraid to visit him tomorrow. He called me in the middle of the night last night to take him home. I refused of course. Called my sister for his car keys today. He's trying to escape. My sister said he is very angry with me. He is a mess. I don't know where this is going to go.
And so it goes.................
Again, glad to hear many of you doing well, and working at maintaining that positivity. I like knowing everyone is there.
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My Ob/Gyn just started me on Lexapro yesterday in preparation for starting a new AI. After hearing about everything that has been going on, I think he thought it was just a good idea.
Hope you all are good.
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mybee, how is your dad doing? And how are YOU doing handling it all? xo
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My Dad is supposed to be discharged to a skilled nursing facility tomorrow but he is refusing to go. He is in complete denial regarding the severity of his illness and limitations. My sister and I will have to help him, some. I am anxious but try to just set it aside. He is a grown man makng his own decisions and would not be declared incompetent at this point I am afraid. He is struggling and rather childlike at times, though. I get a little overwhelmed and anxious but try to maintain perspective. Stubborn, ornery man. Always has been. Since I have been spending more time conversing with him I can really see how much my old boyfriend was like him. Circular arguments that go no where except back to the point that they are right, you are wrong and there is only one valid viewpoint.
Thank you for asking lovemyfamily. It's nice to be thought of
You must be very busy with wedding planning, yes? It is a busy, frantic time......if they are letting you be involved! It is hard to be alone, mostly hard not to have someone to share intimate thoughts and memories with, but it is wonderful to have the freedom to be with your family and enjoy it all, as you wish. It should be a great day!0 -
Dad is now in a skilled nursing facility, supposedly for rehab. but my feeling is that he may never go home. He is extremely weak, can't sit up or anything. Seems pretty depressed. He is tearful at times; I was tearful in church.
On a diff. note, once again hid the profile on Match. Too much going on. Started on Lexapro, as I may have mentioned. I slept 10 hrs. last nite, was up for an hour, then slept 3-4 hrs. more. What a gift. Hoping for more of the same tonight.
lovemyfamily-how's the wedding planning?
I think of you all everyday and am hoping and praying for wonderful and lovely things.
Peace.
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Hi Molly .. How are you doing with all this? You mentioned crying in church .. Please take care of yourself. I know it is hard but you deserve it.
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Well, I am sad, very sad but I tend to try to push that aside a bit to take care of things because you have to. My son is sick today with a high fever. A couple of generations ago when women didn't work or didn't work much, at times that makes sense to me. Of course I wouldn't have had the freedom to leave my marriage or even break up with Tony if I hadn't had a career, but assuming a good, stable husband, it almost makes sense for women to take care of others. There is so much tending to and caretaking to be done. Women provide the social 'glue' and if we become too busy or stressed, I think it is just not good for everyone. I mean, we still have to do it all, or so much of it. For now I just kind of let the house go and take care of the important things. My fibromyalgia is in flare, I think from the AI and that is a concern. I may see a rheumatologist this week and see what my options are here, but I am hoping exercise will help; I am not really wanting more medications. I feel like I'm sliding down a slope, a bit.
What is happening with you Joanne? How was your start back to school? How are you feeling?
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I am doing pretty good .. Start was ok but discovering some things that I have to "clean up" from the person that was doing my job. I am still having problems with my arm/shoulder so back to Physio. I start Cardio Kick fit on Monday and tai chi on Thursday ... I need to do something to get some weight off and get back in shape.
Take care of yourself Molly ...0 -
mybee333,
I feel for you so much, for my dad is practically in the same situation as yours. Although we tend to get emotionnal when it comes to our parents, I totally agree with your decision to "let the house go", and save some caring for ourselves. I have the feeling you have been quite present for your dad in this difficult transition of his, inspite of your own personal challenges, and there's little else you could do , for him.
May Peace be with you.
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I hid my profile on Match. The guy I met is ok. He is good for now, but not for the long term. His divorce was final at the beginning of this year and with what I am going through, we are great to keep each other company. lol With me trying to finish school and treatment, keep my home from being foreclosed on in the near future and trying to find a new place to live and a job, are just a few things I have going on right now. I really do not have time for serious dating. So, he will do for now. He knows how I feel, so I don't feel too bad about it.
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I hid my profile on Match. The guy I met is ok. He is good for now, but not for the long term. His divorce was final at the beginning of this year and with what I am going through, we are great to keep each other company. lol With me trying to finish school and treatment, keep my home from being foreclosed on in the near future and trying to find a new place to live and a job, are just a few things I have going on right now. I really do not have time for serious dating. So, he will do for now. He knows how I feel, so I don't feel too bad about it.
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Thank you for your support everyone. I really appreciate it!
Joanne - I'm looking forward to you doing those classes. Hopefully you have the energy and no pain. They could jump start you nicely. Good for you!
serenity - it is tough this stuff with our parents. I feel so badly for Dad. Sometimes we have not been close but he is still my Dad and his independence has been so important to him. Had a restful day myself, caring for my son, whose fever has finally broken, so it was not too bad today. I am sorry you are going through something similar with your own father.
2miracles - sometimes support is support. it is hard to go through life's ups and downs and stressors without it, that's for sure. I always says that my 'men' have been important to me through the years because they are my family. We are not a particularly close family and we are a small family, so the boyfriends and my husband, meant everything to me at the time. With all that you are going through it sounds like a rocky road without someone.
Blessing and best wishes. Good night ladies, across the miles.
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Any Advice - two guys... One lots of fun but bc of child support he is barely above water. I am pretty well set financially but have always had the opinion that people I date need to be finacially independent (have the ability to take care of their own bills, etc...). I also do not know how to handle him having an ex. Other guy has a good job, no kids or ex wife. He is very sweet and generous but we don't have as much in common. He was the one I met right after finishing chemo (when my hair was short) and he loved me for me and could see past the exterior.
Any thoughts on how to decide? Both have pros and cons.
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What do you have in common with the first guy?
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Mybee - he likes to golf, and do stuff outside - Both guys enjoy traveling and I've been on trips with each and enjoyed myself. Second guy has a boat (which I enjoy).
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It sounds like a very tough choice. Over the long haul I think you need shared values, beliefs, goals and kindness. A good track record is always nice. Say if there is a failed marriage, some insight into their part and some work on changing that aspect.
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mybee - thanks fo the advice.... I'm not making any decisions right now.
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Sounds good. You know I have worked as a marriage counselor. Surprising I know, given my own trouble with men. I have loved working with couples.
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kward -- jumping in on this ..... knowing nothing about you but going to speak about me .... the first guy is nice and the second is the fun guy, the bad guy .... the fun guy will move on and leave you behind but the nice guy will always be there ..... that is my opinion.
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I guess it depends on what you want from the guy. Do you want marriage, or just dating? If you just want to date, keep dating both. You'll soon find out which one you like better.
If you were really in love you wouldn't be having a problem deciding though. That's what I was told once when I was dating two.
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I believe that is true.
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Joanne - You are so right and so wise. I was rereading her original post. That is part of my problem too. Usually going for the fun guy, the one who only wants the good times, avoids you or walks out when responsibility or troubles come knocking.
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Hi Ladies
Just broke up with my boyfriend a couple of hours ago. I lived with him for 3 months so I really got to see what he is like. Remember I told him that I did not want to hear about the looks of other women: that is what caused the first break up. He said he would do it any more. Well tonight he denied remembering the first breakup. He asked me to tell him why I became so quiet. When I did he turned the problem onto me. He lost his temper; so I got my things and told him it is over. There is no way that I am going to tolerate this.
He also has a tendency to be sarcastic and contrary. I don't need this nonsense.
Just feeling stunned and down, but relieved at the same time
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I am so sorry paintedlady ... It is painful even if you know it is right. One needs to always go with their gutt (heart) ,,, they are usually right. Take care,of yourself and hugs.
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Joanne thanks for posting back. I really appreciate it. Did not sleep very good. My stomach feels like it is in a knot. I feel shocked. Don't know why I should feel this way. Honestly, really what I feel is devasted.
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It is so hard to break up with someone in the early stages of romance. It is very brave, really and takes some insight. I know you know this but he will only turn every problem back onto you in time. It's funny I was just thinking of you this morning before I saw these posts and wondering how it was going. I am sorry this has worked out like this for you. I think the devastation comes from the hopes, dreams and potential - unrealized because it is not based on the reality of the man but nevertheless so sad; we become so attached and bonded, esp. with a relationship so intimate. (((hugs)))
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My bee is so right ... Hopes, dreams and potential ... We become bonded and attached and even though we know what is right it is still painful. Hugs to all ... It is hard.
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My Heart aches for you Painted Lady....I am so sorry this has happened to you ! Try to take a deep breath and move forward....I'm praying for you, as I know it takes a long time to get over these things. Hugs, Kiley
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Well, Dad discharged himself AMA from the nursing home/rehab. ctr. and is back in his own house, where he wants to be. He is refusing all meds and home care because he feels he knows better than the medical team what it is he needs. He has always been hugely into holistic medicine and what he takes, expensive as it is -well, maybe it works for him. He is 80, after all. My sister and I will now have to act as his home care/medical team.
I am listening to a taped series 'How to Create Your Own Happiness' and participating in 6 group webinars. So far it seems to take some time to create your own happiness, ie, to indulge your creativity, etc. and maybe a couple of $$. I was hoping she could tell me how to stop being an a**h*** magnet but so far that hasn't happened. Maybe I need to take a webinar class entitled 'How To Stop Being an A**h*** Magnet' and attack the problem head on. I think I could spot one and fend them off pretty well now, am no longer afraid of being alone, but it would be nice to attract a diff. type at some point. It's supposed to be that once you are a happier and healthier person, you attract same. I have my doubts as I think all the yearrrrrsssssss of woundedness is hard to heal and easy to spot and that is unfortunately, what attracts the insecure/predator type/users or just those who are too empty to truly have a give and take relationship.
I am off my AI (temporarily?) and have found I have a sense of humor again.
) Hard to tell from this post, I know )0
