Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Thanks---------all------------I' am true and a bitch& say what I think ---------if you ask my opinion you will get a true response. -------My preception here is we people ask advice is that's what they want a true respnse
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Wait, our info is showing up on Facebook? How is that possible?
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Sweetbean------When OMGThey Found A cure for stupid was at it's funniest. someone was reposting it on FB. Again that's why I deleated my bio.
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Whose FB page?
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Oh, wow, reposting stuff on facebook is super uncool. i would never do that.
On the dating, MAN, do I want to get out there! But my hair looks ridiculous and my boobs are ROCK hard. I'm even self-conscious when I am hugging someone. *sigh* I figure if I wait for my exchange then I should have enough hair to have an actual hairstyle. Sure do miss my long hair, though.
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Hrf----On the facebook page don't know. Googled it after someone said it was there and a number of pages came up. I'm not really a fb user. I figuire the less we google, it the less hits it will get. But what do I know?
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BUMP
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I was diagnosed in late 2009 and finished treatment and plastic surgeries earlier this year. I had two guys who showed interest in me and then walked away once I told them I had BC. They weren't rude when I told them, in fact, they sounded more encouraging. However, no more frequent phone calls or dates afterwards. I told myself I wouldn't care for people who can't even handle this when I AM NOT sick anymore. Who knows how they'll behave if I get sick again, if we were together? But I can't say I don't feel hurt and angry. I even felt regret that I told them - they're not worth of me telling them? When should I tell guys about I once had BC during dating?
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C100 - I've had a good experience with telling guys about my BC. I prefer to tell them early on bc I don't want to get emotionally attached and have them not accept it. I've only had one guy out of 7 or so have a problem with it. Recently I met a kind, generous, handsome man online who is going to move in wth me. Good Luck.
Karyn
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C100, there is no right or wrong answer on when to tell a guy. You'll know when you feel ready, and depends on the guy and the situation. I don't feel it's necessary to tell them right away, maybe after a couple dates or so? I deleted my profiles on the dating sites and I've decided, I'm just done for now.
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Bump - Haven't heard much from anyone lately...
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I know, this thread kind of died off. I haven't been bothering looking or dating. Just staying busy with work, my daughter and life. We rented a cute little house about 10 minutes from my work and moved last weekend. So we're busy busy and no dating in my future that I can see, I just don't have the energy or interest in it right now. Have yet to run into loser boy now that I live within 2 miles of him, I see his company work trucks all the time but not him.
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Like Dragonfly, I haven't been looking at all either.
Karyn, is your new guy all settled in with you now?
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Dragonfly, I think that is neat, you moved two miles away from your old boyfriend. I think the fun is about to start. Let us know if he ever gets a glimpse of you and or connects. This entire site is not working for me either. When I post, it seems nobody wants to post thereafter. Kind of makes you feel really special. But what they are doing is just posting on other posts, they are toggling! Your house sounds cute, enjoy your holidays in it this year.
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Hope, sorry you are feeling isolated on this site. I think each thread has its own group of regulars and don't necessarily pay attention to others or some threads don't last very long.
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ha ha neat is not the word I'd used, I feel like a stalker although I had a great job and good reason to move to this town. I did pass up on some better houses that were within 1/2 mile of his place so that's good. I am praying I don't see him, that's just too much stress and anxiety for me to handle honestly. Thank you, the house is ok, it's smaller but it's a house and not an apartment so I'm excited about that!
I only really go on this thread and the NOLA reconstruction thread (rarely that one any more now that I'm done)
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Hopefloats41725: I have had the same experience at times - beginning to get a complex....
Have you seen the "Oklahoma girls (or guys) out there?" thread? I met Day this last weekend and had a really nice visit. This is the first time I have actually met someone in person from this site.
I have sort of lurked on this thread. I am decades older than most of you and in truth not sure if I would want to date or not. As I am FATT (Flat All The Time), I would have to find a serious leg man.
Barbara
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Update - recently I had a great vacation with my honey only to return and have him tell me he's not over his ex. She had sent him a "have anice time" email before we left and it brought back memories. I signed back up for match soon after and have had two dates so far. Learned from his ex wife that there was other stuff he kept from me regarding his past so I'm glad I made the right decision to end things. He also drank daily which concerned me.
Best wishes to all
Karyn
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Wow ladies, you'd think 1 of us would have a great story about a wonderful man. Kind of depressing thinking about all the wrong ones we've met and had relationships with.
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kward70 & Dragonfly19, hooray for smart women! No one needs an alcoholic and daily drinking of such is a hint of it.
I have a great story Dragonfly.....I sent Mr. Singer whom I was telling everyone about down the road. His landlady forwarned me that he was just looking for another place to live. I did date him at 14, though he had only been married three years total (two wives) in a lifespan of foury one years, I knew that was a hint also. He was too much into himself, though wanted a ma ma to take him on. I got tired of driving him around in my car and never getting out of town. He lived outside of town, though when he came in all the meetings were in my home town, eating and sitting at my house. Boring!!!! Anyway, off I sent him. Then my friend thought of another one that really did get away. Mr. W., he was another one I had dated fourty six years ago at fourteen. He was drafted to go into the service, so he joined the navy and I never seen him again. We only had two dates, but I had a little pocket money and gathered enough pop bottles to sell and collect enough moolah to buy him a going away present. I engraved his name on the outside of a gold chain bracelet and mine was inside the bracelet. I liked him, we just didn't have time (he was also my rebound whom was my boyfriend's friend). Off he went for fourty six years, he married 2x, I married 2x. Then after my divorce and cancer and sending you know who off, my friend thought of Thomas. She called, he jumped on it, HE CALLED IMMEDIATELY. Though we didn't have the same working nights off and he travels all over the eastern coast. So, he came in one night that he is normally scheduled....my car broke down and I couldn't get anyone to take me to work. SOOOO gosh, let's make it a meeting night. So he drove in from town within fourty minutes. We talked, drove and ate over four hours...it was a hit. The next two weeks, I did overtime at work, he called from any of his routes and we have a date this morning for breakfast. Our conversations were question to each other like the dating game. He answered perfectly and he said I was answering with flying colors. I think it's a HIT!
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Dragonfly, maybe it's just that this is a singles board, so women who met and married someone after BC might be less likely to be on this thread. At least that's my theory and I'm sticking to it, lol!
Hope, sounds good - but careful of men who aren't local. Maybe try to meet someone local.
Kward, sounds like he has been corresponding with her all along (hence the "have a nice time" email). Never a good sign. But you probably didn't know he was still in contact with her.
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Fearless, Thomas is locally, only fourty minutes away. He is still working at his age and in great health, he's a truck driver, whom should be retiring in one more year. We did our outting thing this morning (2nd date) and we went to the Cracker Barrel, walked the lower and upper level of the mall, then went to the Aquarium and finally to Rhema's Bible park. Again, talked for hours, kissed periodically. He is the most gentle man I have ever known. He carried my overcoat throughout the Aquarium, opened the doors for me...everytime, held my hand (a lot) kissing on it periodically and kissing my forehead....LOVED IT! He is 6'2" and stocky built...firm. I can even wear heels. He makes me feel so feminine, like a lady should. i'll let you know how things go, but believe it is up hill all the way. For social security reasons though, I can't marry for another year and a half, if I decide to do so. It was cloudy the day before and I thought to myself...."I got SUNSHINE on a cloudy day". Have a good weekend...I am going to catchup on much needed sleep. By the way I agree with you, the singles on this board probably marry and off they go.
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Dragonfly56, by the way a member named RebzAmy made it. She was single and married a man with two kids. She had the breast cancer and he didn't care....might read her story if she is posting. Put her name in the search keyword. She was emailing me privately throughout their relationship to marriage. God bless their family!0
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Hope, sounds very promising! 40 minutes is definitely not long distance! Just be careful, don't give your whole heart away too soon...but he sounds really nice!
Exactly - happily married BC survivors who met their spouses after BC probably would not be inclined to open a forum page titled "singles with BC"...
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Hey dragonfly, hope, fearless, and everyone else......
It's been a long time since I have been on this board...but not cause I got married!! heheeee
The Adrian thing finally got STOPPED!!! I had to get a stalker report done on him. He jus wouldn't leave me alone, and it got bad!!! So off to court I went. He was watching my every move and scaring the crap out of me! Finally I started dating again. Met a guy who I thought was so nice and thought it would work out great with......well, that went south!! He had a wife that had passed away I found out just a few months before we got together......he wanted to "replace" her.......wanted me to even wear her cologne........no thanks!!!
So I spent a few months by myself and now am dating a guy who I don't know if it will work out or not.......and dating another guy who is nice but we shall see. Not being sexually involved with either one of them......just happened to meet them right about the same time and decided to date more than one......and they both know it. We shall see.............
Other wise, one other reason is my blood work came out too high 9 weeks ago and was even higher 3 weeks agol. I didn't find out until Friday and now I feel I have to tell them both. I am going to be going thru a bunch of tests in the next two weeks. Oncologist has set me up with colonoscopy, EGD, CT scan of my chest and MRI of both breasts.......So kinda scared maybe the cancer has returned and IF it has......I won't be dating at all..............kinda sucks to be starting on something good and then get a slammer...........
One I am deifnately wanting to see more than the other........ but guess that is life........ 0 -
Ok ok I guess that statement I made got taken way to literal as if I was only talking about this thread. I meant in general in life there are just not enough happy endings.
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Sunangel, if you are referring to tumor markers, try to remember that they are notoriously unreliable. In fact, many oncs these days don't even do them. They tend to be more reliable in women who already have metastatic disease and are being monitored. So get your tests done, but hopefully all will be okay.
Dragonfly, I understand. I agree with your statement. But there are happy endings out there, and happy couples. But it's hard out there, no doubt.
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New to this thread. I was diagnosed in march and just had my exchange surgery a few weeks ago. I have been divorced for almost 9 yrs and had one serious long term relationship which ended about 3 yrs ago since then its been hit or miss-they like me I don't like the or vice verca. Add BC into the mix and now what. As someone else said I don't need a man but having one sure would be nice. Relatively recently, I started seeing a fabulous guy. We are similar in a lot of ways and share the same the interests. The negatives are 1) hes going through a divorce with school age children 2) we live 4 hours apart 3) my dad just passed away and i will now be raising my 16 yr old nephew(another long story). I year ago I probably would have written this all off and found all the reasons not to get involved, but there is just something about him I couldn't resist. We have been talking and txting like crazy and been able to see each other quite a bit considering the distance. Everything has been great until this week. In my head I know he has his divorce to deal and I have my issues. I think things with us started going faster than either of us realized. He knows about my BC and has no issues with it. When it came to seeing/feeling my foobs he said he wanted to but only when and if I was ready. Anyway this week we discussed that both really like each other, neither one of us are seeing anyone else or are looking too- yet because hes coming out of a long term not so great marriage, and we have our own issues to deal with we aren't labeling our relationship as 'exclusive" part of me thinks it makes sense, part of me thinks it sucks and is bummed and wish we didnt discuss it. My BF pointed out at least he is honest most guys probably wouldn't have said anything. Its kind of like we were going full force and now are putting the brakes on a bit. I really like him and want this to work out-its not often you find a great guy- but I may go crazy in the meantime while everything gets sorted out. Also I don't fall for guys easily but when I do its a hard fall which makes it that much harder. Anyone have any advise, thoughts, am I overanalyizing or should I cut out now????
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Again I didn't say there are NO happy endings, I said there aren't enough. I look at myself, a lot of the women on this thread and a huge chunk of my friends that are single and or really struggling in the dating world. I don't get it at all. There is no rhyme or reason as to who finds their true love, who gets cheated on, who gets dumped after 25 years of marriage etc... Just interesting to me, and really hard to find motivation to keep putting yourself out there.
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CML - go with your gut and don't over think stuff. I know from experience. Enjoy the warmth you feel when you get a msg from him. I dated a great guy right after my DIV and he thought he was a rebound guy. We dated 18 months and he was one of the nicest people I've known. I ended it bc although he was nice, there weren't enough sparks.
Good luck...
Karyn
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