Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Wow.... so not sure how familiar you are with facebeook or not but the guy i was dating is on my friends list. I know he can see how much of a fun summer i'm having and i posted about my new job, and then i posted today about how exciting it was because the company picnic is coming up and we get in free to the water park.... Anyway, he just instant messaged me on there and said congratulations on your new job!
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DF, are you going to respond? Well, all i can say about these sites is that maybe the economy sucks so bad right now, no guys have money to date.....so they figure why bother?
That's funny about your guy - you call him half a man and you get a congratulatory response, lol! I didn't say anything and never heard from mine again. They LOVE when you stand up for yourself (like you did)..
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Debated on responding last night, slept on it and decided to.... I kept it very simple and polite and just said "Thanks so much"
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When I got a big award last April, my former "friend" also sent an email saying "congratulations". I didn't respond as I didn't believe he meant anything by it - it was just being his version of polite. If he meant anymore, the message would have said more than just congratulations but that is just my situation. What will you do DF? Will you respond? If so, what would your goal be? There has to be a reason - conscious or unconscious
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I simply responded with thank you, nothing more! Who knows why he messaged me. My last text to him wasn't overly friendly. He must know he can't call me because he never is on Facebook, let alone messages me there.
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I think "when it rains it pours" and seem to go up and down on the sites regarding interested men. I had a few dates with one recently and am going to see where it goes. He's crazy about me and we have good chemistry. There is someone out there for all of us...
Karyn
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Karyn .. I think you are right .. there is someone for each of us.
I met my BF on a dating site .. American Singles about 6 1/2 years ago. I had to meet a lot of frogs before I found my prince, and many times, I just wanted to give up. I tried Match and EHarmony as well with no luck.
It just gets tiring having to meet so many different people and getting your hopes up.
I just wanted to be encouraging with my story.
hugs,
Bren
EDITED: But, I did have to start meeting men that were a little out of my comfort zone. I really needed to broaden my search a bit.
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I disagree. Men don't make contact to be polite (women do this, not men). There are residual feelings if they are attempting contact. It is when you never hear from them again that they are really over you. Unfortunately, I know this from much experience.
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So he contacted me cause he's a dumb ass and walked away from a good thing
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Well, that is true....hopefully you will stick to your guns if he asks to see you again (which he will at some point, otherwise he would not be in contact).
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He won't but no worries, he blew it!!
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I'm telling you that men don't just "check in" with women they have written off. In that scenerio, you just never hear from them again. He had no reason to contact you, it's not like you had contacted him. Nope, this boy still has you on his mind. Too bad he screwed up big time.
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Well he has me on his mind, but not enough to pull his head out!
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It doesn't matter, anyways - I would hope you would not go back to him after what he did. But I know it's hard when it seems like there are not other fish in the sea. But there are....
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All the good ones must be hiding in a cave somewhere without phone or email access
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I can't say 110% chance I wouldn't, as I don't feel like there are many other fish in the see. I can 90% chance sure I wouldn't take him back, so that's pretty good
Or we missed them in this life, or they're stuck in a failed marriage or ....0 -
No, still no love in this area. I am getting older (50) with cancer and that is a big turn off for most men. Went to see a shrink about it ( she deals with cancer patients) and agreed with me that it will be very difficult to find a man who wants someone older with cancer and mastectomies. *sigh* I guess some of us are meant to be alone.
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I figure most men I meet in the age bracket I want (50's) are going to have some kind of health issue. I mean, it's not like we are looking to date 20 year olds.
I think of my stage BC as like a chronic condition - like diabetes. Something that is monitered and treated, but for now appears to be okay.
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It's hard enough for a "mature" woman to find a guy even without BC because despite their age, they still want someone 30ish. I don't know why a 55 year old guy would think that a 30 year old would even be interested but that's what they want. Throw BC and mx into the mix, and I agree, most men aren't interested. I have accepted that I will stay single - not that I want to but it seems to be my fate like many of you
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There are plenty of men in their 50's who aren't looking for 30 year olds - I have dated them. I agree that it's going to be harder for us with BC, but not impossible. As I said, find me an older man who doesn't have health issues of his own . With age, come health issues. Granted, not as bad as cancer, but most older men are going to have something they are dealing with.
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Well plain and simple good guys, not many left, meaning good guys that will choose to be with us, then to add mx and bc to it... Yeah I feel destined to find no one. But it is what it is, I have a great life, great girl. friends and family. I do miss being with that loser boy the way it was in the beginning though. That other person to talk to every night, to have fun with to feel that special connection. The whole growing up thing, and life in general is just so crazy! I would never of dreamed my life would be where it is today.
Anyway, apparently I'm still tired so I'm in a rambling mood
Last night I thought I'd check out the plentyoffish site. I hadn't been on there for a week so. Before that a guy had messaged me a couple times, but we never really talked. Like he just didn't seem to want to really even get to know me. So I'd casually chat with him, no big deal. Last night I was browsing through the profiles and sent a guy a message. He had said something funny on his profile about laying in the back yard at night watching the stars. So I said something relating to that, in a kind of funny way. Wow.....he went off on me. Said he'd messaged me in the past but I ignored him, but now that he's added pictures or better pictures I want to talk to him? He was calling me a shallow HO, and telling me to get F-ed and that he makes more $ than me and blah blah blah... Funny stuff right? So I told him, ok sorry to have bothered you although I really don't remember him ever contacting me before. Then get this................I get a message 5 minutes late from the 1st guy that I said we'd chatted with, but didn't really seem like he wanted to get to know me. His message said "Let me guess, the guy you were just talking with, it didn't work out so well for you. Ha ha, good luck, bye" Then he blocked me so I couldn't respond. So here I am 34 years old, and I'm getting set up and played like I'm in high school. Crazy stuff huh!!! I hope this makes sense, I just crawled out of bed to get ready for work and wanted to share this! 0 -
I was on match four years ago. Decided to get back on and have to laugh at the same guys with the SAME pictures!! xo No love match for me yet.
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If a guy can't handle or won't date you bc of BC then you are better off. The guy I'm with now could be "the one". We have dated for a few weeks and I can't imagine my life without him in it. I told him about BC after the first date. BC doesn't define me,just something in my past and he is able to see that. There are good guys out there - although it is sometimes difficult to find them. It will happen for all of you.
My guy sent me a dozen roses two weeks after our first date.
Karyn
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Really let's be honest here, we don't know that there is someone out there for everyone.
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DF, it's important to remember that there will be an overabundance of head cases on-line. Some of these are men (and yes, women) that have struck out with other dating venues, so naturally, they will gravitate to the internet as a last resort. I'm not saying good folks aren't on-line - of course they are! Just that it's a haven for men who have struck out in the "real world" for whatever reason, so you are bound to meet many of them in your quest for the good ones.
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Oh I know, really it was more entertaining than anything! I thanked them both for the good laugh and making my night
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Dragon .. I truly believe there is someone out there for each of us. I had to go through a lot of frogs before I found my match. I tried on-line dating in Utah, Iowa and North Carolina (were I lived) before I finally met Tim in North Carolina. I was single and on my own in Utah for two years and only dated once. I thought I would never meet someone. I also dated a few in Iowa too on Eharmony, but I didn't like that site.
It just happened one day out of the blue.
Please don't give up hope.
hugs,
Bren
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I just think it's BS but that's my opinion only. I agree about eharmony I wasn't a fan of it.
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Okay, Dragon, I agree not EVERY woman will find love. But I would say statistically our chances are pretty good. You are a young, pretty, vibrant woman. Don't give up because you met a few losers lately. I meant to ask you, how old was that last guy you were seeing? I was just curious.
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I didn't say I'm giving up, just can't say that I agree with the statement there's someone out there for everyone. It's easy to say that when you're in a great relationship. He was 34
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