Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Fearless ... he's only 5 years younger than you for goodness sake. That's nothing. You couldn't even be classified as a "cougar!" You don't have to marry him - just go out and practice for the right one!
DF ... same for you - its only drinks with a friend.
I'll be the cheerleaders - everyone - go, go, GO!
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I second that ladies GO,GO,GO, Wishing you all a GREAT time!!!
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Ha ha ha thanks!!
I have that anxious feeling if we run out of stuff to talk about? I'll go, I have to do this for me!0 -
Oh DF. I'm so glad ! I know you will have a nice time. Woo Hoo !
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I am still liking my new guy and we are getting along great! xo
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I'm very happy for you lovemyfamilysomuch!!! hugs,Kiley
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I guess if most of you were in my shoes, you would understand more of what I am looking for - by "my shoes", I mean 46 and never married.
But with that being said, I do plan on going - who am I to turn down a cold beer on a Friday night??
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Awewsom Fearless ! I don't drink beer but i'll toss one back for you ! Here's to tossin one back for ya ! Kiley
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I probably shouldn't drink it, either - but I only have 1 or 2 a week these days.
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It's okay to party, when you feel up to it. I certainly have ! I do know what you are looking for Fearless, but you've got to get out there to find it ...... Never, Never Give Up !! Sometimes we all need down time, but I, Always, Get back up and TRY...... Cheers. Kiley
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I don't really "party" anymore, those days are gone....just a drink or two on the weekends. No, I won't give up, but I'll bet if he could see my black nipple, he would cancel plans!
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How about being 64 and not giving up! Of course I will need to win the lottery in order to have all the plastic surgery I need - I'm not just taking about breast reconstruction!
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Ok I really don't know if I can go tonight!!
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Kathleen, 64 is not old - I wouldn't be giving up, either! Granted, it's not as easy as when we were younger, but never give up....
DF, why are you backing out? Just jitters?
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Oh my gosh, I went ladies..... It was horrible!!! First of all he would NOT and I repeat NOT shut up, I couldn't get a word in edgewise. Then I tell him where I work, and he went on and on for 5-10 minutes about how horrible the owner of the company is, that he worked there as a temp for a period a couple years ago etc... I'm in a panic because I work there of course, for this person he's talking about, yes the man is an ass but seriously? The man owns half the town, and everyone here knows him and has worked for him or does work for him. I was so hoping no one else I knew was in the restaurant. He talked about his ex, and his girlfriend, and I swear he smelled like BO!! I could go on but you get the point!
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DF, please don't back out!!!!!
Kathleen, you are just a little bit older than I am. Since this second dx of bc at age 60, and being abandoned by the man I was involved in, I have given up. I don't think you should give up though
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DF...now that sounds like something that would happen to me. How lousey of him to talk about his ex-wife AND girlfriend! Really??? At least you won't be wasting any more time with him!
Fearless One, Are you on the east or west coast of FL? I'm on the west coast side. I find the dating pool over here to be less than desirable.
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DF, sorry it didn't work out. But this can be one more chapter in your book. Next to the "top heavy" chapter. I must have sent my previous message before I saw your post.
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Top heavy? Lmao....Sure helped my nerves!
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Good that you are laughing
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I was laughing too when I read about your night DF. Isn't dating a riot? I remember when I was online. What entertainment just meeting these people. I don't have the energy right now but at that time I was laughing all the time, let me tell you!! Oh my gosh - and they're always talking about their ex-wives (the bitch) and sometimes all night long. I went out with a guy - he told me the whole story of how his wife told him she wanted a divorce and then he started sobbing. Right in the restaurant! First date! I could understand her reasoning. OMG - then he keeps trying to kiss me in the car going home (@ every stop light!) I couldn't wait to get out of the car!! Another one talks about ' the bitch' the whole meal. Another, on the second date, takes me to a family party where his ex is with her lesbian lover, the one he found her in bed with and he tells me the whole story before we go to the party, where I meet his kids, mom, ex , etc. I ran from there. Another, real crazy rock n roll type, goes on and on about how his ex left him for a guy she met on MySpace. That was a story. On and on. Starts crying too!! First date! Oh the good times..............I think that's how I took up with the last guy for 4 years. He seemed so sane after all of that. And then.....he wasn't. He talked about the ex too in the first few months, raved about her beauty, despite her bitchiness and 'fridgidity', as in "sure she was beautiful, gorgeous, but if she doesn't know how to do anything with it". Finally I had to tell him to knock it off. Enough already. That only covers the few first 'good' months with him..............oh the stories I could tell
. Oh and I just had two, count 'em two, old boyfriends from over 30 years ago, contact me this week. Both married now, both short-term relationships. One completely f#^*#d me over and the other was engaged to someone out of state when we were dating! It was all a lark to me at the time. Never thought he would but he actually married her! That was after she supported him through dental school. Then he fooled around on her (surprise!) and they divorced. I think you can see why I'm a little off dating right now. But I'm still laughing!!
Thanks for listening.
Molly
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OMG ! .........Kiley
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DF, I'm so sorry - hopefully the next guy you go out with will be a good experience.
FLWarrior, I'm in Miami. It's very pretentious - not many down-to-earth guys here. All they care about is their abs and tan. And the women here are stunning latino women, so competition would be fierce, if there was anyone I even wanted to date.
Funny what you said about the West coast - I go over to Bonita and Ft Myers a lot of weekends just to get away, and I like the guys over there.
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DF...what a loser! Proud of you, though, for getting out there.
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Did I mention he even talked with his mouth full, he burped at the table, and I think needed a shower after eating. It was entertaining to say the least, so crazy for sure
Good shrimp Alfredo though for free 
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Warrior - I found Miami pretentious too. And you are right about the women. Just letting it all hang out.
I guess DF - you have to date some losers to find a winner.Glad you got a good dinner out of it.
I was just talking to my friend on the phone (I'm off work because I just had my exchange), We were talking about trust. I was telling her that part of our problem (she's single too) is that we trust first, get to know the guy second. As in - everyone can be trusted until proven otherwise. But if you think of investments - would you invest with a brokerage firm that you knew nothing about, that you didn't investigate and that didn't have a proven history of returns? Would you give that firm all your money and trust it was going to be well handled and grow? Would you put all your money into an investment based on your feelings? No. Then why make an emotional investment like that? I think it has to be that men earn our trust, over time. There has got to be a better outcome that way. My friend said "but I don't want to be like that!" I said "Think of yourself as a commodity". And we laughed. But we've both been hurt too much.
In our case ladies, we are already so vulnerable with our BC, I know for me, I will be very careful with this scarred body.
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Hang in there - it can happen. I had met a wonderful guy about two months before I was diagnosed. I was really enjoying spending time with hima nd we really clicked right from the start. I have a 20 year old son who said to me, "Mom, you have got to give that man a 'Get out of Jail Free" card. I thought about it and saw the wisdom in my child's statement. The next time we went out, I told him that I knew we had just met and I was getting ready to have surgery that would change me physically and emotionally and I felt like I had a few very rough months ahead of me and I would completely understand if he wanted to let things go. I will never forget him looking at me and saying, "We clicked and I want to be yoru rock. If things get more serious they get more serious. If not, you will know that you have one hell of a friend who stood by you. I really like you and want to be that friend." And he WAS. He went with me for all my surgeries, held my hair back with I was sick, picked me up when I was down - he really was my rock. Along the way, we did fall in love and I figure if he fell in love with me when I was sick, when I was depressed and crying, and my chest looked like railroad tracks - then that was true love!!!
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The key to your story is that he was honest in that he said he could fall in love or be your friend. At that point he was honest. That was a good test of his integrity.And he could've turned out to be a friend and that would've been okay too. He didn't make promises he couldn't keep and showed it through actions.
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Df, next time you go out, give us your cell number and we will call to check up on you and can fake and "emergency" and you can tell the bore that you need to leave right away. Proud of you for getting out there girl! It ain't easy. Slow and steady with my guy, but he is still moving to NC boo hoo.
xo
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Well that sounds like a great idea
We can be each others support system!! 0
