Have any of you found love after your diagnosis and treatment?
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Maybe look for guys a little further away then you can move
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Yeah, I tried that....met two that were out-of-state. One got serious and I was going to move up there. Then he met someone local shortly before I was supposed to move.
I think I should move first, then I will be happier and that will make me more attractive to someone.
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Yes you must first be happy, can't count on anyone else to make you happy. I was talking to my friends Mom last night. I've known them for about 25 years. She was saying that she's been married twice, both to total jerks. Now she will be picky, now she's rather be alone than with someone not good enough for her. She said we deserve the best and to not settle for anything less! Things we've all been telling each other.
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Well...I told #2 goodbye last night. Just wasn't the chemistry going on, but such a nice man. My hair is just growing back--about 1/2 " long now--did any of you date wearing a wig? I have a nice looking one, but that means I'll need to explain (or I think I do) on first date about the BC. Opinions?
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I didn't date anyone new during or right after chemo. It was probably 1 1/2 years later? Wow that sounds like a long time ago.... I was seeing a guy during chemo though if that makes sense? So no wig when I started dating, if you plan on telling them right away then you could go without the wig or wear it at first. You don't tell before you meet them but you do on the first date? I always find it intriguing how and when others tell dates or potential boyfriends.
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Previously I've told them before we met, and wore my baseball cap. Just not sure when is the best time; guess when I feel comfortable with it.
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Exactly ... Most important is when YOU feel the right time is. I have only dated one person since the whole chemo/cancer speedbump.... I didn't tell him til we went out 3 times. I guess for me I want to see of there is any connection at all first.
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Update...going to meet someone new tonight. Over the phone he thought my new haircut was "dam.. cute". It's the one of me in my wig. I told him there was an interesting story behind it and I'd tell him tonight. Geez.
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Twoputter, I think you'll know when you feel comfortable enough to tell a man. If he's the right man it will not matter, don't fret abought it, just have fun with him! I admire th way you get out there! That is awesome! The man I'm seeing knew before we met. so I never had that hurdle to cross. What he did not know, and does know now is that my cancer has advanced. He may be pulling a way from me a little, or hopefully it is just my paranoid mind.lol not. My PC crashed on Saturday and he was here till 5 in th morning fixing it whew am I rummy today! When I first started posting i said Oregon was one of the worst state for dateing men. And I've seen, known that to be true. One of my friends told me "its a bring your own man state". The short time I was on match, most men who contacted me were from other states. But you are younger than I DF I think you will find a great guy! I think all of you will! Kiley
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Two putter - I dated a few weeks after finsihing chemo and my hair was about 1 inch long. No wig - he knew why from the beginning. He ended up "seeing" past BC and loved me for me... We dated 18 months and still remain great friends.
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I agree that if he's a really good man, it won't matter. I'll give him a chance to run, and see how it goes. Might as well find out right away. Anyway, my wig looks better than my wavy hair!
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Good luck
I had someone ask me to dinner, and I'm already thinking of bailing. Just not feeling like I want to put myself out there any more. 0 -
DF, if someone invited you to dinner you MUST go. It will be good for you just to get out and spend time with someone. It's only 1 evening - only 1 date -- no commitment and you don't need to tell him anything about your medical stuff. Just go out and enjoy.
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I agree with hrf, Dragonfly, you should go. If you're like me, even though you don't look forward to it, or may even dread it a bit, you'll probably have a little bit of fun or at least learn something. Could even be surprised!
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I agree with the others, DF. GO! Meh, at least you ladies are meeting people. I can't remember the last time I got asked out. Of course, it doesn't help that I never leave the house except to go to work.
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We'll see....
I hate meeting new people in general, but for dating purposes it's 10 times worse! I really have major anxiety over it. A few guys have asked me out here and there on the dating sites over the months and I NEVER go, I don't know what my deal is 
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You seem very outgoing, DF. I'm surprised to hear that. But I think most of us get nervous on a first date, even the most gregarious person.
I just feel so ugly right now with my scabby nipple. I thought by the Holidays there would be a new me - guess not.
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I know, I am super outgoing but I don't know what the deal is! I feel ugly, and fat and I guess that's why.
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DF, you are beautiful....I think you feel down because of all the angst you have had from The Boy.
If I looked like you, my face would be plastered on every dating site!
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You are young and pretty. Go out.
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Well, I'm not feeling great about myself either. Hate my double chin and need to lose at least 10 pounds. But I think we tend to focus on our worst features. DF, you're a beautiful young woman. Other people aren't seeing what you're seeing.
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I also hate how I look right now and prefer to hide. Forget 10 pounds. I need to lose 50 pounds. I get it. But DF, go out and text us in between courses at dinner. Tell the guy, you are checking in with your "cheerleaders".....
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I agree DF, do go out to dinner. Don't let That " loser" take the fun out of meeting new men! You just get back into it ! You are a beautiful woman! Twoputter you are also, go for it. Have Fun, and you just never know.............Kiley (ps: especially when your not evpecting it...)
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Man, we are all so hard on ourselves, aren't we? I'm sure others don't see us like we see ourselves!
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I hear ya on the 50 pounds I could stand to lose! We'll see how I feel the closer it gets
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two-putter - my wig looked like yours - we could be sisters...And if you ever make it to R, I'll take you to play golf with my other "sisters" - one 12 years our the other 11.
Can't wait to hear all the updates...
Karyn
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12 years out ! That is wonderful to hear.....yes, I look forward to updates. I will live vicariously through others until I get a life, lol! Just kidding.....
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Well my ex, loser boy has a new girlfriend, so i really should get my butt out there and date!!
Good thing he didn't want to be in a relationship.....I am going to have to force myself out on dates, so I can pull myself out of this funk! I can not keep letting him getting the best of me when it's been over for a while now. 0 -
I am new to this thread but this had been on my mind for a while. Right now
I am trying to get my blood sugar under control so I can attempt reconstruction again. First time failed and I am not trying again until my blood sugar is so tightly controlled it squeaks!Dragonfly .., think of it as a free meal with what might be charming company! As long as you're "networking" who knows who you will meet. You are beautiful and any man would be lucky to have you. I think we all need to feel that way - we are precious cargo deserving only the best. We shouldn't have to pass anyone's test - they should be passing ours!
Having said all that, I am scared to death to put myself out there!
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DF, that's what I mean - they waste NO time - that is one difference between men and women. You think they sit around like me and Kmccraw423 and you and say "I'm not ready to put myself out there"? Hell, no. They are out the door the minute they become single.
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