Physical aging appearance
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Just joined this forum. Cancer free for almost 6 years. Triple positive, and one of the first to be on herceptin. Hated chemo - threw me into abrupt menopause at 48. Was on tamox for 5 years. Opted for bilat mastectomy - then waited another year to have tram flap. Looked all over the internet for a thread on early aging after chemo and found none.
Love my onc, but he sluffed off my concerns re early aging and feeling like I lost IQ points. He feels I would be aging anyway. But, like many of you, I looked 10-15 years younger than my age - now look my age (57). I eat pretty well, exercise alot. But even after 6 years, I have less energy, am less "on the ball", and look (and feel) haggard.
BTW, hair grew back wild and curly, then relaxed into gorgeous straight thickness (I never had hair so great), then returned to thin (even thinner than ever) hair, which I now "enhance" w/minoxodil (works pretty well, too).
I know I should be grateful to be alive, and I am, but damn this disease. And damn the "cure".
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Lago thanks, I'm trying it today-yum!
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Amazing how we all thought we looked 5-10 years younger....maybe we actually DID look our age! And those that looked older were the ones with physical aging!!!! Remember when our parents and aunts and uncles were SO old? Did they really think like us??
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lago.. thanks for the great recipe!! I love my silk coconut milk!!!0
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Barbe, I think you hit the nail on the head. I think it's tradition to tell a woman she looks "so much younger" than she actually does, and let's face it, it's not usually true. What I'd like to know is, what's wrong with looking our age? Women can be wonderful and amazing at any age, we need to fight this crazy teen-obsessed culture. Looking fresh and tired is one thing, but I've earned my place at the table, I am what I am!
Now, the effects of the drugs are another thing. And I've followed a poster, Member of the Club. I work out, eat better, and have lost a lot of stress. Everyone is commenting on how refreshed I look. IMO, nothing ages us like stress.
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I'm almost 53 and people treat me like I'm 35!!! I've even had to take my driver's license out. I, too, embrace every wrinkle and gray hair. I find in sales, people react better with assumed "maturity" when paying $30,000 for kitchen appliances! Age seems to bring credibility. I'm currently on the fence about going gray.... I want to, but then I meet someone I think is very old and they are younger than me!! It does depend on style doesn't it?!?!?
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I always think it's funny when women lie about their age and say they are younger than they are. Don't they realize that this would make them look worse!!!! If you are going to lie, better to round up... ie: "Wow, Linda is 60? She looks fantastic!" , when she is actually 50! Am I right?
Sherrill
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Being women, and especially being women who have been treated for BC, I think we are all in the same boat when it comes to this topic. I had not seen this thread before now (of if I did, I foget, heck, I may have even posted on it because my brain has changed a lot also...CRS), but if definitely hits home. One of you posted wondering if your parents or aunts felt like this when we looked at them and thought they were "so old"....Well, they most likely did. I remember my mother telling me one time what bothered her most was that she didn't feel like people noticed her any more....it used to be when she would walk into a room, people would look at her, but she said she felt like she had just sort of faded away. My mother was a very attractive woman, but I don't think she felt that way when she got older and I know it must have bothered her a lot to see herself getting old because I know it bothers me....A Lot. I should be thankful I am here and I am, but Geesh, I looked in the mirror this morning and saw a little old lady....and I don't mean little because I am skinny(I am not), I mean little because I swear I am getting shorter every day and starting to look dumpy. The gray hair I am keeping because I actually like it, but I am sure it doesn't do anything to make me look youthful, but I have seen women with old faces and hair that doesn't have any signs of graying and think all it does is make them look old, especially if it is all one color and very dark....it's just too harsh. I keep my short because I am afraid I disagree with some of you about being able to hide flaws with the longer hair....I just think it drags your face down which is already starting to go down with gravity and makes it look longer and older.....but maybe that is just me. I have always had a round face and now God forbid, have jowls....oh how I hate them. For awhile I was spending a fortune on face creams....Strivectin....people asked if it worked and I said I didn't know, but I was afraid to stop using it for fear it was....Well, finally I stopped and now just use whatever moisturizer I have on hand, but I do use it for sure....AM and PM and I really do not wear makeup on my face because I think that can age you also, gets in the wrinkles and emphasizes them.....but again maybe that is just me. My eyes are getting very drooping due to lose of muscle tone. When my eyelashes first grew back after chemo, I kept looking at them and showing people and saying "look at them, they grow down, not out. They are like a camel's"...then one day it dawned on me, they weren't growing down, my eyelids had lost their elasticity and were just so droopy, it repositioned the lashes. GROAN. What next. Exercise is great, but once your skin loses the elasticity, there isn't much you can do about it....actually I don't think plastic surgery or anything can do anything about that....and actually a little fat plumping it out helps. I think my arms upset me more than my face....stopped wearing sleeveless a long time ago, and got by with short sleeves, then 3/4 were even better, but I think this year it is going to long sleeves year round. The only way I can describe it is, chicken skin..it's like crepe paper and has all these crinkles in it....gives me the creeps. I honestly do not think my 73 yr old mother's skin had even gotten to this point when she passed away....and I am only 61. ONLY....see it is all relative. I used to think that was ancient....now don't think it is and feel I am not so old, just look ancient. And I don't think when people told you that you looked younger than you were, they were just doing it to be nice....many of us probably did.....in fact it used to make me mad when I was almost 30 and they would still card me (it wasn't just because it was a law like it is now when they always do it to sell you liquor or cigarettes.....oh and those years of smoking probably didn't do much to help my skin either, but I enjoyed smoking while I did it) ....We actually did look young. Ah, those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end....I miss them, but appreciate life so much more than I did then, wrinkles and grey hair and all. However, face it we are women and it's tough. Sorry, all I did was give my own complaints here and did not offer one word of advice, but that's because I don't have any. I do think the drinking water that someone mentioned helps and also having a humidifer in the room you sleep in. I would just like to punch these people I meet who say "Wow, you look great!" right in the face. I don't look great....I look old. But at least I look better than Joan Rivers!!!
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Annettek
May I please have the other half of the pumpkin pie
Too snowy here for ice cream! But pie, yum. 0 -
Aw MaryBe, I must agree. You look WAY better than Joan Rivers! I have noticed a significant improvement in my skin since I began using coconut oil. I still use almond oil on my face and emu oil cream once a week (it is restorative and my skin soaks it up). So far, I truly can see improvement although having a tan from my cruise may just make me look better so time will tell.
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MaryBe you can't look like Joan Rivers. Even Joan Rivers jokes that she doesn't look like Joan Rivers anymore with all that surgery.0
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Just put the Lavanilla perfume on my husband's "when you're wondering what to buy me for my birthday" list. Can't wait to try the passionfruit one!
This is a marvelous thread. I just discovered it this morning, and have been reading ever since!0 -
Marybe...Joan rivers.. NOT!!Where is she as I do not see her at all when I look at all she has done toherself!!! i agree with you and shorter hair as I too have a round face.Well I was trying to grow it longer and got it done shorter and it was dragging my face down.
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Marybe - I love it. You hit it right on the head. All of it. I feel the same way. I feel like your mom... I used to get a lot of "perks" based on my looks... not anymore... I feel I have "faded away"... But I will disagree on the hair - I really do think it depends where the cut line falls... if it is chin level and you are starting to get jowels - watch out! I always get so mad when a hairdresser cuts it to that level. I always want to ask, "Are you trying to make me look like the little dutch boy on the paint can?" and "Am I the only one that sees that you have just accentuated my jowels?" How can this be?! My hair is finally past my jaw/jowel line and it looks a million times better. But I do think I won't let it go too much past shoulder length.
On another note, have any of you tried that Suzanne Sommers face muscle strengthening tool? Or the Susan Lucci home microdermabrasion kit? (It almost looks like I have been watching to much of the home shopping network - but I promise I found these things searching the internet!) I am tempted to try them both... Oh, and I heard the Clarisonic device is wonderful for firming up the skin.
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I'll add my 2 cents here. Years ago I realized that although I played tennis, I still drastically needed something to strengthen my core muscles. Not that I was in any pain, however being 65 I had noticed a significant change in the fatty deposits of my body. I decided to try belly dancing...... very good for core muscle strength. I am now 70 and I began it as an interest and it ended up an obsession. American Tribal belly dancing is very demanding and intoxicating. It taught me to hold my back straight and tuck my hips into neutral and to hold my shoulders back. Not only does that give one the appearance of being more youthful but you actually feel more in tune with your body. Practicing is a delightful experience; just moving your body in time to music (any style music) is a joyous event. It gave me something that tennis did not........a way to enjoy life and movement at a moments notice.
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I saw the PA today instead of my onco when I went for my treatment today. I really like this particular PA because she listens to me. She asks how I have been and I said Oh fine, but I want to ask you something. Now I know this is petty and I should just be happy I am alive, which I am, but look at this. I shoved my sleeve up and showed her what is happening to my skin and said Look at this. My mother's didn't look this bad when she was 73 years old and this is not sun damage because this area on the inside of my arm was never exposed to sun and look when I crinkle up my eyes....until last year I never even had crows feet around my eyes and now look, just look, I am starting to look like a Shapai(sp?) and she looked sort of sad when she was telling me, yes, it's from chemo and also this time of year doesn't help any because the air is so dry. I then had her feel my back and these areas that are rough and sort of have little bumps....I said these little bumps were not here two months ago and I said I can see this happening, I know I am aging, but I am seeing changes in a matter or weeks and months and do not think this is just a natural part of aging. She said Oh your back is so dry, it's just really really dry and yes, it's from chemo. She also did not offer any hope of it going away when I stop this particular one...said it was not just the gemzar, but ones I have already done, that this is cumulative. Joy. Oh well, you know what as crazy as this sounds, I am happy she told me it's not just old age and that there really is a reason for it and I am not nuts and really am seeing this happening. I feel like she understood where I was coming from and my male onco just sort of looks at me when I voice a compliant like this and I am sure wonders why I am focusing on the little things. And I get so mad when I will tell someone who does not have cancer and is about my age, and they will just sort of pooh pooh what I am complaining about and say, Oh, it's just age, look at this, look at the age spots I have.....DON"T try to minimize my SEs, this is NOT normal.....but I never say that, but I do think it. She told me to use Eucerin and to drink lots of water and to use the humidifier.....in other words hydrate....it won't get rid of the problem, but might help. I am going to slather myself up like a greased pig when I go to bed tonight. Oh, and I got my steroids reduced so maybe I will sleep well tonight. They said if I feel OK after today's treatment maybe next time I won't have to get any steroid at all. So it was a good visit to the onco's today.
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Glad you got to talk to someone who would take your concerns seriously and answer them honestly. It's almost a relief, isn't it?
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Good work marybe. You got listened to!!!
Don't know if it was this thread that I mentioned a poster I saw years ago:
<picture of grape> With water
<picture of raisin> Without water
VERY dramatic! Also, I learned from a doc that our bodies confuse thirst and hunger. If you think you're hungry, have a glass of water. You just might have been thirsty!
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I must be totally parched from the looks of me!! LOL!
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You must be!! Eat watermelon, juicy fruits, ice creams, Jello's .... anything with high water content. It's more fun than just water!
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Marybe, I'm sure you've seen the numerous mentions of using coconut oil as a moisturizer. If you haven't already, give it a try. I laughed when you said "greased pig" because that is exactly what I am each night before bed. I'm obsessed!0
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Barbe I totally agree with what that doctor says about hunger and thirst.
Also watermelon, although loaded with sugar, it is excellent food unless you are a diabetic. Good for heart health, cancer prevention, macular degeneration prevention and has lots of antioxidants (lycopene, vitamin B6,B1,C,A, thiamin, water, potassium and magnesium.
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Plus watermelon has some compound that is a natural stress reducer!
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Plus watermelon is low on the glycemic index!! The perfect food. AND I LOVE IT!!!!! It's just so bloody expensive!
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Hi, everyone. I'm new on this thread, but I love it. because I've been image-conscious forever (and with a handsome boyfriend 11 years my junior, I gotta look as good as I can). I'm a big proponent of botox. I have this aggravating wrinkle between my eyebrows and about twice a year I zap that sucker out, and BAM, I don't look angry anymore.
I've done a few other cosmetic treatments over the years, pricey, but totally worth it because that's my indulgence. (Haven't had any surgical procedures yet, other than the BMX, and I'm not really counting that one since it was totally involuntary). I'm interested in what you all have been saying about the lotions and potions. I slather tons of stuff on (good stuff, at least I think), so now I'm going back through them to make sure I'm not creating more problems than I'm solving. Thanks for sharing your experiences!0 -
Marybe I agree with toughthanithought about coconut oil. rads made my skin so dry along with this awful cold weather and the coconut oil has been amazing for me. Some grocery stores care it or health food stores. My sure it says unrefined or cold pressed. It smells like coconut but the smell does fade.
JoanDavis I have wondered about botox. Have not tried it but starting to not like my wrinkles on my forhead.
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I figure the only place I have deepish wrinkles is between my eyes. That's my frown, not the horizontally lined forhead. If I got rid of those two parenthesis lines, how would I ever prove how old I really am?????
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Caerus - Hope the hot towel worked, I just did again the other night, oh, soothing and hair soft as silk...since I make my own bath products, etc, epson salts in a tub help smooth out everything, just a glorious feeling afterwards and rinsing your hair as well. Also, if you blow dry daily ,let your hair naturally dry at least 3 days a week. Since I swim, the chlorine has been taking a beating on my locks...especially the tail ends (I wear it up in a ponytail) but I still get drenched, regardless, I have fun wild kids to teach...trying to massage in some oil at the ends only helps too! 0
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JoanDavies - GOD, I have that "I'm always angry" line and NEED to get rid of it....was thinking of asking PS this next surgery to poke me with some btx to fill it out....and the complications are? I noticed I pull my forehead out and wham that line is gone and WOW, what huge difference.....how long does it last? Thanks...love sharing our "glamour" ideas here...Fun Fun Fun!!!
PS For those of you that use Bio-Silk Oil on your hair, it's also excellent on your skin and nails and elbows and such...after pumicing feet, a dab will do ya....massage in and enjoy the benefits!!
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Try Brambleberry.com, this site is for making soaps, candles, fizz bath balls, etc. You can also find some great buys on bulk soaps.... 0
