Physical aging appearance
Comments
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I use the coconut oil only at night. Anything I have left on my fingers after applying I run through my hair. I love it, but I also alternate it with other products and this week I have been using grape seed oil. I do like this as well, but not nearly as much as the coconut oil.
As for the Clarisonic - well... I finally broke down and bought one last Tuesday. I have been using it every evening since. I LOVE it. At first I wondered if it was going to do anything. The first thing I noticed is that suddenly I had some blackheads on my nose! What?! I figured it was just cleaning things out, so didn't panic too much. Now those are almost gone and I am finding a fresher, newer me coming out. My husband came home yesterday afternoon, looked at me and said, "What did you do? You look really nice today." I said, my teeth or my face? (Yes, I went on a shopping spree and bought the Sonicare toothbrush that they have on sale this month at Costco too.) He said, "Your face. You look really good." Yeehaw. Well, that did it for me. So, I am sold on the sonic products. You know, we use ultrasound a lot in physical therapy - it is extremely beneficial for different things - it is awesome to know it has some fountain of youth properties too. I don't expect it to work miracles, but so far it is giving me back a bit of the glow that young skin has... or at least skin that still receives estrogen.
I am happy with my shopping spree... and now trying to rework my budget... LOL 0 -
I feel like my a$$ has exploded in my pants, it seems so big. I don't know if it's because I'm losing weight so it shows more (like when I lost my breasts my belly looked huge) or if it's bigger. I normally go by how my clothes fit. One pair of pants I now have to wear a belt, but one skirt I pinch myself when I zip up. Doi!
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Oh Barb, I don't know why but when I read that like like my ass has exploded in my pants, I just burst out laughing. I doubt if it's bigger if you are losing weight...maybe just muscle tone? Who knows....I feel like every day is a new adventure, What's going to change on me today?
JBinOK.....I am sure we all would have aged even if we had not had BC, but what we are talking about here is not normal aging....I could literally see my skin changing from month to month and when I saw the dermatologist and the PA just this last week, both of them said Chemo when I showed them my skin....it just dries you up, that's all there is to it. It is not enough to make me hate living or anything, but at times I do find it a little difficult to love the person I now see in my mirror.
I have not ever had children so most definitely cannot blame it on that. I however do have many friends with children (one has five) and also grandchildren and do not think they look particularly old or really seemed to change that much after becoming mothers. I think what was being addressed here when the topic was originally started (although I did not see it then and did not comment on here until a week or so ago) was premature aging....even my onco told me that one time, Chemo causes premature aging, it is killing good cells along with bad ones and when I first complained to him that I was getting a gut which I had never had in my life (may have had thunder thighs, but always had a tiny waist and it was flat) he said estrogen holds your fat cells together among other things....so some of this change is definitely not just do to the fact another year on the calendar has gone by. Heck I have cataracts now and when I saw my ophthalmologist this past visit, which was only 6 months since my last one, he said I cannot believe how much your eyes have changed in 6 months...he thinks that mainly the steroids I get along with chemo did this. In spite of all this I am happy to be alive and I am sure all the women on here are, but it's also nice to be able to share out complaints and commiserate a little about our wrinkles and bulges.
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Does anyone know which is better for the scars from the MX - vitamin E oil or Aloe or cocoa butter? My PS said to use Vitamin E oil on the scars; when I went to the Body Shop, the salesperson said Aloe body butter is better. I'm also reading that a lot of people believe that cocoa butter is ideal for minimizing scars. So...I'm confused!
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I can deal with the wrinkles. What I hate are the droopy bags under my eyes. :-(
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Lena!!....Did you chat tonight? I went there and the room was empty. Try cucumber slices on the bags....somehow seems to tighten up the skin.
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Joan, IMHO, aloe is a "soother" like for burns, coconut oil would be for hydration, Vitamin E is for healing. Take your pick. I know what I would pick. The Body Shop doesn't sell Vit E.....
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lago-you crack me up...i have a flock that took up residence here as well:)
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puffy eyes...puffy eyes....these do bother me more than any damn thing on my face...i have tried every potion...waaaaaaaaaaaaaah.....this has been a dilemma for years to be honest....but I think I willblame BC because they are bigger now:)
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Marybe, I totally agree about the thickening of the middle. I also had a trim waist and now that is where all of my 15+ lb weight gain has landed. When I first had my recon, I was very pleased with the outcome, but that was before Tamoxifen and the weight gain. The added weight in my midsection makes my breasts appear smaller !
I've been using coconut oil for my scars, as well as whole body moisturizer, but I would like to try cocoa butter. Some of you said is smells like chocolate, so I think I would like it. I'm assuming I can find it at the health food store!
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I am afraid if I went around smelling like chocolate and coconut, I would be stopping at every drug store or carry out for Mounds bars or Almond Joy's.....I am very susceptible to the power of suggestion when it come to foods and I adore the combination.
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I admit, the only plastic surgery I've debated with any seriousness is the under-eye one. There is no question, it ages the appearance like nothing other, and it's a clock on the front of my face for how many hours I've slept. Water helps a ton, I actually look a lot better when I drink a lot of water with a low-sodium diet.
Of course, as I often say, there's only a few cool thousand standing between me and that fantasy. Treatment bankrupted me! Between the deductibles and thousands in what wasn't covered (everything from eyebrow pencil to medication co-pays), it'll be quite a while before I'm back on track financially. I'm grateful for the new simplified routine, as I don't waste money on creams and potions at $50 a pop anymore...
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I find it is my lids that are showing my age. Actually, I guess it's the under brow area that seems baggy. I've always had dark circles under my eyes with nice deep eyelids, but now my saggy upper lid/under brow hangs over my lids....sigh.
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barbe- my sister went to an opthamologist and got him to push it through insurance saying her vision was occluded because of the saggy skin....they did an amazing job and all she had to pay was deductible....if I can squeeze one more set of surgeries in before the year is up and while my deductible is already met...I may go see him...hahaha geez..
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Sometimes your vision really is occluded if they get bad enough....I used to have this patient who had eyes sort of like a turtle because of the lids covering most of them....she had the surgery done I guess because I saw her in a commercial for The Eye Institute and I called up my pal from the office I used to work in and said OMG, I just saw so and so in a commercial for cosmetic eye surgery and she said Yep, that was her and how the woman's ins paid for it. Sometimes mine sort of stick together when I close them and I am not sure if it the actual lids of my downward lashes that get tangled up. I have found those expensive eye creams and wonder lotions are not any better.....I have a neighbor who works for P&G and is in the cosmetic division and she swears that Oil of Olay is just as good as Elizabeth Arden or Clinique or any of them and I am telling you, I think this Eucerin cream is pretty good.
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Oh Ladies, just reading this thread starts my day! One thing I did forget to mention with the skin care regime, "bio-silk oil", this stuff does wonders for hair and face and a lil dab will do ya....good for hair, dry ends and fine lines everywhere. Pricey but worth every penny. The best time too to moisturize is when your pores are open, in the shower, tub, etc., and don't forget the cool rinse for hair, locks in the mositure. One thing I know for me that works is using conditioner first, cleanses the hair, shampoo then condition again, Tres Semme good stuff, inexpensive and a few of my stylists have recommended it for an over the counter item. Good Luck ladies and enjoy your week! ((((hugs)))) 0 -
Marybe,
No, I didn't make it to chat on Sunday night. By the time I looked at the time, it was almost 10 PM so I didn't go -- thought I'd missed everyone.
Cucumbers on my EYES is going to get rid of the bags? Uh-HUH.. Yeah right. :-P Eeesh. Thanks...but no thanks.
Honestly, short of plastic surgery and hair dye (which I don't "need" at this point even if I was planning on using it when I had "enough" grey hair), I don't believe there IS any way to eradicate the effects of old age on the appearance. I think all the creams and lotions for wrinkles, bags and sags are a load of horse hockey which a lot of companies are making shitloads of money on women who feel bad because they're not young and attractive anymore (and women who are young and attractive, but are brainwashed to believe that if they buy/use these products, they'll STAY that way as they get older) -- in a society that bluntly asserts that a woman's most valuable assets are her physical youth and beauty -- to the point where just about any woman who doesn't look like a supermodel has issues with her appearance, more or less, and even many of these young supermodels have appearance image issues too. I don't know what the "all natural" folks who make suggestions that such-and-such will make you look younger and prettier, and the such-and-such can even be grown by the user (cucumbers, for instance) are gaining by promoting THIS sort of thing, but, I won't get caught up with any of that.
Anyway, I was just venting how I hate my eye bags, not asking for a solution. I already know of an existing solution which would REALLY GET RID OF my eye bags, and you guessed it, I can't afford it -- PLASTIC SURGERY -- so I'm stuck with them. All I can do is vent when someone puts up a thread asking if we think our treatments have made us look older.
Oh well.
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My husband had a male client that his eyelids were bagging so much that it interfered with his vision. Medicare paid for him to get it fixed and he said when they did his lids they had to do the lower to make it all work. It was amazing. When I saw him I knew something was different and told he he was looking really good. He laughed and told me he had his eyes done and then told me the story. He said he did not realized how much his eye lids were really interfering until afterwards. He looked at least 10 years younger afterwards.
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Lena...... You are partly right. We get older anyway.
I do think though, that cosmetics and skincare make a huge difference in how we look. No one is forcing me to buy anything, but I think I look far better when I use the skin creams, and certainly with makeup. Eyeliner is a lot more important than it used to be.
Equally important is staying hydrated, exercise, and eating a reasonable diet. Also sleep and sunscreen.
I don't do cucumber slices, but I do use some cream with (I think) horse chestnut in it and concealer when I get bags. Major help.
Biggest help is a big smile, so I make sure I have fab lipsticks in colors that light up my face.
I am sticking to my story that one of the best things a woman can do for herself following active treatment, and once hair starts to come back in, is get to an experienced aesthetician for a consult. Major morale booster to look one's best. - Claire
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Right on, Lena. Which is why I posted at one point, "What's so bad about looking older??" Fact is, a woman's appearance is not only her first asset, it's public property. It would be nice to get as many props for my career as for my hair/skin/body/weight.
I can say what works for me: simplicity. Simplicity in what I put on, and in my routine. And drinking enough water and getting enough sleep. I look better at 40 than I did at 35, because I have less stress. Frankly, nothing seems particularly urgent after cancer, and I think I sleep better as a result. Mind still races at times, but not quite like before.
As for plastic surgery, if I had the money, I'd do it. I won't lie. But, every woman I know who has had it done looks like she's had it done. Even surgery can't hold back the effects of time in reality.
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JoanDavies I was first using Vitamin E oil then switched to coconut oil. I think the E is greasier but not sure if one is better than the other. I purchased bitamin E oil in Trader Joes
barbe1958 I think I'm getting droopy lid now too. Just like my mom. annettek is correct that insurance will pay for lid lift it it's obstructing a cerntain percetage of your eye/vision. My old boss had it done… but he had very small slitty eyes to begin with.
JFV I still don't wear foundation. I do brush with a little powerder bronzer though. To hide little dots you might check out a concealer. One that I like is made my lancome
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I'm letting my hair go all gray because I have silvery streaks which are sparkly. I figure I deserve the gray! I earned it. As for laugh lines and stuff I don't mind them. It's the age spots and baggier lids that make my face look like it's slipping off my head!
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Thanks Iago and Claire for the advice. Prior to breast cancer I used very little makeup and reluctantly dyed my hair . I decided au natural was fine. I figured I would just fade into middle age and not worry about my looks. Then I got cancer and every single person I met said " but you look great!" I know they are saying it to be kind. But, now I think alot more about the way I look and have decided to spend some money and some time on my looks.
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JFV, I just want to scream when they say that I look great ,but I know I really don't look as horrible to them as I think I look at times....we are all our own worst critic you know...my mother told me that a long time ago. You are right they are trying to say something nice and be kind, but it's one of those lines that makes me want to shout, "Just think how good I would look if I hadn't had all my estrogen taken away and years of chemo!!" Face it. unless you have been through it also, people really don't know what to say.
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You're right, MB. We are our own worst critics! People have been raving about my hair now that it's growing back in. Sort of looks like Mia Farrow's in the late 60's. They say, "You should keep it that way. It really makes your eyes pop!". And I'm thinking, "No way am I going to purposely wear my hair like this!" Every time I hear you look great, I'm thinking, sure I do. It would be so nice if I could ease up on myself and think maybe I do look great.
I blame women's physical insecurities on those stupid women's magazines we've been spoon fed since we all started buying "17" magazine, then "Cosmopolitan", then "Redbook" and "LHJ". You read one of those and you feel so inferior - I can't make that, I can't wear that, etc.
I imagine if we lived in the 1800's, we would be known as the prettiest girl in town. Today's women have to compete against not only every beautiful woman in the world, but now we have to compete with airbrushing and Photoshop, too!
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I've been using the coconut oil every night. I do like how my skin has been looking since. It really does sink into the skin pretty quickly. Doesn't feel greasy at all after that. I only do it at night though.
I also use the Bare Minerals...I had already used some of the products but switched to all after cancer DX. I researched brands and went to Sephora and bought a bunch of stuff....trial and error I think I have it all down now.
Took some stuff back but all in all am happy with what I use now. I have not, however, been able to find a concealor that I like as well as what I was using (that contains parabens,ugh) And hair color....ha, no grays for me! Well, I have quite a few but no one sees them.
I color and highlight and will continue to do so. If I have pretty silvery grays at some point I may let it be but not sure I'll ever find out since that would mean letting it grow out without color!LOL 0 -
If that is you in the pic, I don't blame you one bit for coloring your hair. I am 61 yrs old and me liking my gray hair is not the same way I would feel about it if I was in my 40's, or even early 50's. I am comfortable with the hair color and actually like it.....now the wrinkles and sagging skin, those are another story. Heart&soul.....my friend, Lee, whom I have menioned before on the older thead who had lobular BC....she always wanted her hair cut like Mia Farrow's(wanted it like she had it in Rosemary's Baby) , but her husband would have had a fit, even her son once said don't get your hair too short, Mom, you already have sort of a deep voice.( it isn't deep at all) Anyway, she was excited when it started growing back and was thinking finally she would have her Mia do, but it's really wavy and driving her nuts. It think it looks good on her myself, but she is not happy with it at all....nor the gray color, but she is only 48. And let me tell you it is very difficult to grow out to your natural color...chemo did me a favor in that respect, but I had actually quit coloring it before then....had gray, but not all over as I do now. I am still liking the Eucerin, but may try coconut oil some weekend.
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Once I'm all gray, I want to do low-lights, and have a black, or blue or fushia put in. I've had some fun over the years doing highlights, now time for something different!!!! That's my carrot...
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I have been letting my natural gray shine through for a couple of years but it is finally getting to overwhelming so Thursday I am getting foiled. I am still going to let some of it be gray just not so much. I actually like the gray color as it is silvery and looks like highlights but I am 48 and just not ready for quite this much gray. My DH is 61 and I have more gray than he does.
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I don't know if I posted here yet. Yes, ive noticed more wrinkles this year with cancer. I use SKII (expensive) and Japanes massage techniques to help me out. It works some but I am considering fillers for the wrinkles. There is new news out about wrinkles and health. The more wrinkles you get the harder the lifestyle you have.
agada
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