OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid
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Girlfriday. I would love to sit next to you! LOL!! If you don't have anything nice to say..........
Maybe listening to my mother and the nuns say that to me my whole life, I would not have gotten breast cancer.
I'm going to blend me up some aspargus now.
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In the reoccurring photo of asparagus guy, it looks like a Bavarian sign behind him....could he have been a flight risk and gone overseas?
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Thank you Girlfriday, you have opened my eyes! I guess all those nasty thoughts about my MIL backfired. It took 26 years before my thoughts piled up and poisoned me. I am such an evil, wretched person. She was right. If only I had known then what I know now. I would have been a more positive person, giving in to her. I must go and ask, no beg, for her forgiveness.
YEAH RIGHT!
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People are going to think I'm strange when I burst out laughing in the produce section at the grocery store....lol. They'll probably think I'm even more strange since I'm bald.
It's hard to laugh at an inside joke when no one else around you knows it...haha. But I do find myself smiling at random points throughout the day when I hear anything related to asparagus, coffee, lemon juice, bacon, etc, etc.
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Help
I want to post a photo and I don't know how. Please let me in on the secret>
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There are so many of THEM - the asparagus people!!! I think we need to notify Homeland Security.
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I know! And didn't I see some women in there? I thought it was the Cure GUY, now we have to look for a potential cure GAL?! This is wearing me out!!
Order me one of those bras!
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And all this time I thought Windex was the answer.
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OH MY!! They are asparagus Pod people- taking over intelligent humans and making then stupid. Ladies, get out your blenders and puree them into oblivion!! They are no longer a threat when pureed.
I don't think I will ever be able to say Starbucks again!
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Janet...don't you mean "Farmland Security"?
Melanie...I just got back from the store and cracked up at the aspargus...but they know me there and probably just thought I was being my usual self. I'll just hear "starbutts" in my head and lose it. And those pics...they had me wetting myself!
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And when I think "starbutts" I picture the common result of drinking too many vente' latte's.
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"Invasion of the Asparagus People"
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You guys are awesome!! I think I will dress up as asparagus, with lemon accessories, for the 3-Day this year!!(I don't walk, just cheer) And, and, I can pass out warm plastic bottles of tea!!! yeah!!!
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STARBUTTS!!!! That's good humor even when you're not half baked!!! LOL
Puffing....puffing....pass0 -
i can't believe my beloved hello kitty has succumbed to the asparagus ways.....
oh well... at least i can eat my bra for breakfast!!! lol!!
i got the facebook message too. this morning as a matter of fact.,,, do i just have chemo brain..... or... i didn't quite get it. a fruit for your relationship status.... and this helps breast cancer HOW? i think this one is stupidity in the raw.... just like asparagus
i used to have a bumper sticker that read "STUPIDITY SHOULD BE PAINFUL"
it should, it really really should!
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OMG, this is too funny so glad I was told to come to this thread!!! All along I've had the power to cure myself with my container of cottage cheese, just needed the asparagus..silly me.
thanks everyone for your humor, had my first radiation today and was feeling like I wish it was the last, but I've been sitting here laughing so much, just what was needed!!!
Angel, you are too funny!!
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oh lordy be.. oh lordy be... i'm going out to dinner with a friend tonight..
red wine? white wine? which one will cure me? or kill me? ooohh.. sake.. that's what i want
chinese food? msg? soy? hmmm,,,, just another notch in the old belt of cancer
think i may have to order general cure guy chicken, but it must have asparagus, lemons, organic chicken, garlic, and bacon..
now that i wrote that, it sounds really good!! lol!!
but i am definitely going out and having a drink, or two, and enjoying my damn dinner! lol!
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HD, you should be fine. Eat, drink and be merry. Just make sure you take an asparagus shower when you get home, preferably with the Cure Guy. Have fun!
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And keep a positive attitude as you are drinking your wine. That shouldn't be too hard.
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More and more children are being lured by asparagus.
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Finding a cure for stupid? Hmmm.....Isn't that like saying something is idiot proof? NOT! Idiots can be very creative, and can break almost anything. I know I married 2 of them, (at seperate times), oh wait, that may be the cure for stupid, Marry an idiot or 2.
Puff, puff, pass..........where are those doritos and pepsi? Oh wait is it naptime? ZZZZZZZZZZ
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Meece I thought it was the HOT FLASHES which cooked your bacon bra!
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lena, you hit it right on the head!!!!! it is the hot flashes cooking the bacon bra!!
i can't wait to tell my friend over dinner and drinks about this thread!!! it will make for some great laughs and conversation!
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Pod people, Mr Bill, Hello Kitty... too funny.
Many thanks for the laughs!
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OMG, I just dropped a dorito on the floor and the dog ate it. Now she's going to get cancer
Meece, I want to change my asparagus bra order to two bacon bras. I LOVE bacon and my hotflashes should cook it nicely.
Do you think coke zero does the same thing as pepsi?
Puff, Puff, Puff, Pass
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Okay girls, it's gonna take me awhile to type it up on the computer so I'll post it later this evening or tomorrow, BUT ---
There IS a screening test for stupidity!!!!! *I* actually wrote it myself in the 1980s -- before I had a computer but also waaaaaay pre-chemo/while I still had my brain (at least after noontime and/or three or more cups of coffee), and this thread made me remember it! I just dug it up from my "ancient treasures" folder and re-read it.
The test itself is to determine one's Oatmeal Quotient (OQ). The higher a person's OQ, the more oatmeal they have for brains. At that time, I was a musician/composer/recording artist/audio engineer, so I had to have a way to find out if I or anyone else was mentally competent enough to be doing all this technical stuff (especially with all that pot smoking me, my friends and colleagues did hoping we wouldn't get cancer). IOW, necessity is the mother of invention, so I had to do this. Nice to see it'll still be useful after all these years.
Oh and speaking of STUPID: does that stupid picture inserting tree really and truly expect me to hunt down the effin' DIMENSIONS of the pictures I want to post in order to post them? GRRRRRRRR!
(my OQ used to only range from 0-15; these days it's probably in the thousands somewhere...)
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Just finished cooking up a pot of the 'brew for the cure' for the weekend. Has a few more hours to simmer. My nosy neighbor came over and knocked on the door asking what was that awful smell. I answered the door with my asparagus hat on and said "What smell?" Didn't invite her in - afraid she'd turn me in for witchcraft. Can't be too careful. Then again, if we all start acting crazy, maybe they'd find a cure faster. puff puff....pass
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I see I'm going to be busy this evening updating the "cure". And who KNEW there were SO many "Asparagus People" ? I had no idea.
I'm almost afraid to go grocery shopping myself after being involved with this thread. But maybe the other shoppers will give me a wide berth when they see me laughing hysterically as I load my cart with asparagus.
Was an answer given to the lady who wanted to know how to insert pics? Copy the picture from the internet and paste in this text box. This didn't work for me in Firefox so I used Explorer.
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I tried to put a picture on like Emily mentioned but it didn't work?!
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PHOTO POSTING TIPS:
1. the photo has to be online somewhere with a URL
2. Copy/Paste the URL into BC.org using the "tree" icon above. (You do not need to specify image dimensions, just place the URL into the top line)
3. Click the "Insert" button
Photo should appear in your post. This site had some issues with Photobucket, and I'm not sure it will accept URLs from that site. I believe I tried posting from there once and had trouble so, keep that in mind--- may have to use Snapfish, or some other online photo host etc.
Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming....
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