OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid
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stupid is as stupid does! I'll figure that damn picture posting thing eventually...did everything everyone has suggested, maybe it's just the website that the pic is on....
everything else I attribute to chemo brain!
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Well...If you have a FB account you can copy the picture right from there and paste it here.
It works for me all the time.
If you want post google images I can help you.
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It's hysterical...maybe someone else can figure out how to post it...it's on freakingnews.com and it's a possibly the CureGuy dressed up as, you know...ASPARAGUS, and he is standing there with a huge pack of cigs, but they aren't cigs, it's asparagus and it's for smokin'! I thought maybe that is what we could use for backup if we run out of the social joint
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Thanks for the info seyla, I'll try that tomorrow...too frustrated tonight anymore!
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Couldn't find the pic on that website but it is an interesting wesite!0
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I was visiting the site too.
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Love the Charlie Sheen stuff. He could be our spokes person for STUPID!
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Ok, had to chime in here!
I have some organically grown asparagus that will be coming up in my garden soon!, Its extra potent as when it was planted years ago we used lots of organic horsey plops for fertilizer!
All I need is a recipe for the wine! LOL
Might come up with that cure yet
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I'm on my way to pick some!! Can't get any in the stores since the Cure guy is hording it all!!
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Posting for thegood5...is this it?
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OK, I'm going to blame it on Photobucket...me not being able to add pictures in my posts that is... >:-P GRRRRR. Thank you all who tried to help anyway!
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Love the pic Emily!!! Asparagus cigs, they're good for you!
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Just when I thought smoking asparagus was an original idea! It's already been done...
I'm beginning to think we have cracked the Cure Guy's "cure"...
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Update...sure hope I got everything...
Cure for Cancer ( NEWER and More IMPROVED)
Have on hand:
73 rolls of Bounty ( due to recent shortage may need to be substituted)
2 joints of "medicinal" marijuana ( may use alternative of 2 asparagus spears. Note: must be dipped in kerosene or won't stay lit)
2 enema bags ( pink, if you can find them)
1 handful of dried sage
1 crackpot ..er crockpot
1 CB radio antenna
1 roll duct tape
1 pair rubber boots
1 roll Tin foil
1 blender
1 huge vat of "special" Mud ( reserve one cup for oral consumption)
1 bacon bra ( may be special ordered from Meece's Cure-ture)
1 pkg.Starbutts coffee enema grounds ( fine grind)Snacks aka Cleansing Diet: breadless sandwich, sugarless doritos, sugarless brownies, sugarless pepsi, sugarless alcohol
Note: A recent Scientific Study..see page 6 of this thread..has warned that consumption of bread triggers latent criminal tendencies.Before starting, please plan to add ingredients below to the pot during a FULL moon. DO NOT use teflon or plastic implements or containers.
Recipe
3 cups pureed asparagus ( hand picked by Franciscan Monks is preferred)
1 cup juice of one organic alkaline lemon
63 cloves of garlic
1 cup alkaline oxygenated water ( blend water until oxygenated and then add 1 tablet alka seltzer to achieve alkaline pH)
Bones of an ANCIENT organic chicken
1 spritz of fungacide
1 road apple ( seasonal variations are acceptable)
1 walnut
1 tsp. olive oil
Eye of Newt
Pinch of sea salt
1 bottle of windex
1 container cottage cheese
1 handful of flax seeds
1 strip of bacon
Note: If you suffer from erectile dysfunction add 1 banana
Simmer the above for 9 days in crockpot until the consistency of paste. Stir 3 times for luck.Set aside:
1 cup of concoction for enema
2 cups for topical application
1 cup for oral administraction
1 cup for remaining body orifices ( to cover all the bases)Serve warm.
Instructions:
1.Don your bacon bra DURING A HOTFLASH to optimize crispiness.
2. Roll in vat of special MUD until well coated.
3.Fashion tin foil hat.
4.Don rubber boots and duct tape CB antenna to forehead.
5. WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE ( because we all know our cancer was caused by bitterness) administer asparagus enema while standing on left foot. Hold and repeat " I am cured" 6 times. Expel and then follow with Starbutts Coffee Enema. (Hold the cream and sugar) Do NOT expel.
6.Apply topical mixture while pointing north by northwest. Prepare the oral portion and drink from an old chipped cup previously used by a scientologist. Follow with a chaser of MUD. Light sage and insert remaining mixture into remaining body orifices with a shovel.
After 6 days, expel the enema and then shower ( with the Cure Guy fron NM if possible). Towel off with Bounty substitute and then insert 3 rolls in your pants.After you have cleaned up, look for your local " Puff for the Cure" event and join in with your asparagus or medicinal pot joints.
Congratulations, you are now cured.
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This is one of the funniest posts I've ever read. Love it!!!!
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63 cloves of garlic or us Bawstonian would say gahhhhhhlick??? Damn, I used 62! I'm screwed!
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Bwahahaha! I've been gone for a couple days, and look what happened! 18 pages!
This is hilarious, thanks for the laugh!
*puff* pass
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Thanks, Emily! Luv it!!!! 'Cure-ture'
ROFL!
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Hysterical! Got to drink the mud.... very special mud with a bacon/asparagus chaser.
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new shot!
juice of asparagus and lemon
1 ounce of captain morgan
mix together, and while standing on left foot, facing northwest, with the tin hat on, and mud covering your naked body, and bacon bra in place, drink the shot!
continue and continue, and continue........lol!
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RE: Bacon
Truth: Son gave dh a Christmas gift of microwave bacon rinds---they're pretty good. A lot better than the bacon chewing gum---ewwww.
You folks have a handle on the humor! Keep beating the cancer guy with the skillet and pass that joint!
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just tuned in from the feb chemo girls recommendation and read all 18 pages you guys are hysterical!
We keep a DUH file at work for all the stupid e-mails we get.
one of my personal favorites was what city is the Los Angeles Times located in!
Too bad I did not have a stupid sign.
I only send those angel and candles e-mail back to the person that sent them to me- figured they deserve to get is back....now I know why the good luck has not flowed my way. Don't think I've been pinked or deleted before I knew I was.
I was given some oil to cure my cancer, I know the person went to a lot of trouble to get it and really believes in it and means well but not quite sure what to do with it.
Guess I'll just have to eat more asparagus and lemons.
Thanks Emily for keeping the recipe up to date, keeps us newbies up to date.
Thanks for all the laughs and the great pictures.
I use photo bucket to post pics but paste the html link...maybe that will work. Cannot do on iPad needs to be on a "real computer" or was it visa versa.....chemo brain hits again!
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Wait, hold the cream? Why do we have to do that?
My sides hurt, does anyone have a cure?
Going to bed now, that should fix it.
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Breaking News from Somewhere in the world.......
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Emily ROFLMAO
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Emily - I think you should alert the media with that : ) You could have your photo in the paper wearing a tin foil hat.
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Hehe..Esti...I can only take a small part of the credit for the recipe...it was a collaborative effort..so we'd ALL have to appear in the news story..
Can you picture all of us..( some of us with no hair ) posing for the front page of the news modelling our bacon outfits, foil hats and lit asparagus hanging out of our mouths?
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Where can I order 37 bottles of the Asparagus Love potion? I think we could dump some of that into the "cure" pot....
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pfffffttttttttt!!!! oh my gosh, you guys are so hilarious!!! What do you make of this poor baby? Should it be smoked or consumed???
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Looks like this youngun' is being taught to smoke asparagus at a very young age...he doesn't look too impressed though...
Personally I think the minimum age for asparagus smoking should be 18...
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