OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid
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OK, I can't remember which thread it was on, but there was a discussion of spiders and how much some really hate them. I kind of like them, except when they show up in my bathtub first thing in the morning.
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HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU MOTHER CLUCKERS AND OUR MOTHER ATTACK KITTIES BRAWKKKKKK
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"I love walking in the rain, because no one knows I'm crying."
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Oh Veggy, are you sad ?
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I was sad this weekend. I couldn't get motivated. All I wanted to do was sleep. I have constant pain in my breast that has the cancer. I switched surgeons and hospitals. I can't wait to have this behind me. I took my pain pill and anxiety meds last night and finally slept. Today I need to accomplish something.
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Holding your hand Veggy, you'll get through this moment in time, if you need sleep and rest, do so and don't give it a second thought
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Veggy I am in the chain too, love you babe.
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Its a long way but hands all round the world are supporting you. 0 -
Veggy, ((((hugs)))) and Namaste. Maybe it's the weather, the season.... hope we both feel better soon! Starting yoga again tomorrow - I think I can roll out the yoga mat by the fire - will bring an extra one for you!
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New Body Part Malfunction: musical ear syndrome--auditory hallucination. Risk factors hard of hearing, tinnitus, depressed, lives in quiet environment, can be induced by drugs(no list available). Tinnitus since 1998. Roaring at first then after progressively getting softer over a year(1999) settled into evening crickets. Some times softer than other times. Definitely prefer the crickets to roar.
Tinnitus changed after surgery. Figured it would settle down in time.
Today around 8 am. started hearing music while sitting on the deck. Thought it kind of rude to be playing music that early in the morning. Go inside musics still playing--Duh realize it's in my head. Throw key words musical tinnitus in the computer. I'm a classic case. So, I have crickets on the right, and swing jazz--big band era on the left. Why couldn't it be some beautiful classical piece. May be I can will a station change.
(A no sleep night-----oh yeah that's a risk factor)
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I can absolutely relate to musical tinnitus. I know those sounds all too well. I call mine "Morse code" and "phantom radio". My tinnitus is from hearing loss due to menieres disease. I get vertigo from it too. UGH!
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My pet scan results came back today. The cancer is only in my breast. It did not spread! I am doing the happy dance...
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Veggy, Happy dance indeed! So glad to hear it hasn't spread. (((((HUGS)))))
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veggy, so very happy for you.
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Hey Veggy, doing the happy dance with ya
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Veggy, so good to hear your results. What's next for you?
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I changed surgeons and hospitals. I meet my new team May 23.
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I just popped in after being absent for several weeks and saw Veggy's note and had to reply. Veggy...I am soooooooooo happy to know the cancer hasn't spread. Keep us posted! *happy dance too*
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Joining the happy dance Veggy. 
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Veggy happy clucking and pecking Brawgkkkkkkkkk
Emily =====so nice to see you
kingjr I will get the link I found on the "name " of what it is-----verly interesting. I just posted on Bonfires of the Goddesses some thoughts on tinnitus. your thoughts and description would be appreciated. Why Morse code? I get Phantom radio.
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veggy
So very happy for you.
Hope you like your new team.
Cheryl
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Veggy, that can't get much better! Happy for you!
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Wow thats awesome Veggy, I am so happy for you!!!!!!
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Veggy - so happy for you.
Skunk ate mouse - was reading about the cat ate hampster. When daughter was young and we just got Sequoia, she had a pet mouse she was supposed to rehome bcz she had not asked to get it. She built a mouse house on her tree fort and was just ready to take the mouse up there (her idea of rehoming, since it was between Hubby and daughter, I kept my mouth shut but she was really pushing this one). Anyway, unknown to me where the mouse was and that my skunk, Sequoia, woke up and took a stroll through the front porch.... where mouse was on floor in a box. Daughter found her mouse with its brains eaten out. She came hopping through the house with it in her hand and I grabbed her, hanging on for life. She was sobbing. I asked where Penny was, she said here and dropped the mouse in my hand. Oh lord. AUGH! I just kept hanging onto her and crying.
Bear and dog - long story short, a smart dog will not bark at a bear unless it needs to defend self or family. The bear was not after you YET, just the kitchen food. We had a bear in our yard in PA on mountain, with cub. It bent over the birdfeeder pole like a pencil so cub could eat. I kept the dogs quiet and hidden in house and learned not to feed birds when bears were waking up from their winter naps.
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I had a bear on the porch off of my kitchen. He tore open the garbage , found the ranch dressing and licked the bottle clean. Our dog was in the kitchen and didn't bark.
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Around me they are dropping like flies, chewed up with the bitter relish of telling people what you think they need to understand.
I am speaking of the stupid people who are messing with my state of calm. It is fleeting, this calm. I try to have a nice morning, a nice meal, a nice whatever and along comes a stupid.
Here is the OMG you just made my day converstation at the GP office, between me and the intake nurse.
"How are you doing? Any concerns, symptoms?"
"I feel nausea, my appetite is off but I make myself eat. I am always tired and cold. There are growths in my breast. I break down easily for little provocation. And I am very irritable."
"But this is good," she said, "you lost 17 pounds."
"That is not good. I have cancer. There is nothing good about losing weight like that when you have cancer. I am doing nothing different with my food, just don't want it but I am eating as much as before."
"Maybe you are getting more exercise."
"You are insinuating I was not doing anything before this? And when I am so tired, I am not getting more exercise. Though I did manage to pack an entire house so it could be moved."
"Well there you go, you are moving around more. You must feel better, having lost weight."
"You need to stop. Just because I am fat, you propose that since I lost weight it is better for me, cancer or not. And that all I do is sit around."
"That is not what I intended to mean."
"But it is definitely what I am hearing, not once but three times now."
BTW, my BP was UP!!!!!! and now she gets out the cuff after taking my pulse which was 75, usually 60. I said, "No, you are not taking my blood pressure now, I am upset, you can take it before I leave."
"But I have to."
"No."
"But I have to take it. It's going to be all right."
I got up and moved to the chair at wall. "No. Did I mention I am irritable."
"You did."
"Well, now you get it. Make sure it is in the notes. I want you to know that before the cancer it took me months literally months to lose five pounds because of the hypothyroid. And now, I am down 17 pounds without even trying, while being too tired to take a long hike, sometimes not even a walk. Do you realize the cancer cells are using my energy and calories? That fat women waste away to nothing from treatments, cancer and food challenges during the illness and often all fat women hear from people is how good they look now that they are thinner. While some of them are literally dying. But now they are not fat so they are looking so much better, must be feeling so much better too, being less fat and all. But you are right, with these 17 pounds off, I move more freely. But the cost could be my life. While you are insinuating I did nothing in my life to exercise when I am an avid gardener, swimming laps each day, hiking, caring for our property and animals, and I was not a binge eater at all. (My GP) said she knew no one who wanted to be thin more than I do, who tried as much as I do."
We had some calmer exchanges, she left, I cried. Hubby kept his mouth shut. Good man.
My GP came in in a few, found me at the wall instead of the exam chair.
"I am really touchy today," I said. And started to cry again.
GP said, "I heard, but you have a lot on your plate now. My nurse is crying too."
"I didn't mean to make her cry," I said. So I sent her a hug through the GP.
I told my GP, "How ironic.... I never thought I would be crying because I lost weight." We both laughed.
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Essa--you are absolutely right in your assessment of weight loss in the presence of cancer. That nurse or medical assistant should have known better. Weight loss for unknown reasons has it's own ICDM-9 code because it can be an indicator for NUMEROUS diseases---cancer , thyroid, depression, mal-absorption syndrome , response to medication----on and on and on. Always should be evaluated for origin of cause.
I lost 23 lbs. with my Bc and then 30lbs. with Dh's cancer. I had to deal with the same stupids that said I looked so good. Yet I'd just come through hell. Cluck'em.
At least the nurse/ma got it, that their questions were inappropriate b/c she was crying. Perhaps in the future that person will try to learn more of the significance of what the question means i.e that it's clinically significant and assume nothing about the person. I have a word for such stupid comments "blather". You said what needed to be said---you were right.
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veggy - happy happy, joy joy
Sas - the morse code because mine sounds just like one of those morse code machines and there are long rings/dashs and short ones. Too bad I don't know morse code because maybe I'm receiving subliminal messages from beyond.
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Kingir. I so understand now. Yes you are right. You Must read those links. Your morse code will make so much more sense. Sinse i first posted about the music , my tinnitus has kept changing. I'm in another period of silence. Why , no clue---loving it.
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hugs Essa. My MO's PA is a woman who sounds like the person you had to deal with. I keep hoping she will just GO AWAY!! About the weight loss, I'm so sorry to hear. I hope things end up being OK for you.
On the same note, my DIL kept talking about how proud she was of her mom as she had lost so much weight - until they found out that she had lung cancer, that was. She died a few months after I was diagnosed. So sad that people can be so "proud" of someone losing weight, as if having weight is such a bad thing. I'd much rather be plump and healthy than thin with cancer, and I'm certain that's the choice most sane people would make.
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