OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid

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  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    I just had to write and tell you guys this story. I hope you find it as funny as I did. Got a phone call last night from my sister who lives in Charlotte. She called to tell me that a police detctive had called her on the phone. Twenty eight years ago my dad lost part of his thumb in a wood-working accident. It took him forever to find it and when he did it was to late to reattach it, so he put it in a jar of formaldahyde and put it on his workbench to remind himself not to drink and do wood-working. My dad died six years ago and my mom died this past feb. We have been cleaning out her house and somehow the jar with the thumb in it ended up outside. Well the dog that lives next door finds the jar with the thumb in it and takes it home. The woman who lives there is a very high maintanance kind of woman.

    she finds the jar with the thumb and flips out. Calls the police. They send police cars lights flashing thinking they're on their way to some big crime scene. In the meantime the womans husband comes home and tells his wife the story about my dads thumb-my dad had told him about it years ago. The police take my dads thumb into 'evidence'. They then call my sister and tell her that they are going to do dna testing on this thumb--I geuss maybe because of all the spare thumbs that are floating around? or is it just our government hard at work?

  • thefuzzylemon
    thefuzzylemon Member Posts: 631

    I know a few too many heartless people....maybe those are in the evidence rooms too!

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671

    Oh Mary...that is a hoot!  yeap, lots of missing thumbs and maybe bored police?

  • gmafoley
    gmafoley Member Posts: 5,978

    Mary awesome memory story.. It made me laugh!! 

  • SillyMama
    SillyMama Member Posts: 49

    OMGosh! I am laughing! Sooo... they are testing this thumb's DNA as a missing person? He ain't got "no body?"

  • Bluebird-DE
    Bluebird-DE Member Posts: 1,233

    Mary - I can just imagine that woman getting the thumb in jar from her dog!  LOL good one.

    Omeggo - yes it can be all about them  I went to dinner w DS and DB several mo ago when I really thought I was dying.  We ... more they... talked about everything like trees and cats and people at work, everything for three hours, ready to go and DB asks, so how are you?  You know, I guess I am still pissed.  Tomorrow I have breakie w them, their BDs were today and Monday, really. I set it up bcz it was their BDs, it could be our last one, or could be forty years more, they don't know.  But they need to realize it, would on;y make me happy if I am not taken for granted at this point, even if I am feeling better.  Good luck w your friend, I think a box of coat hangers would be a trip.

    LOVEEssa

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    I geuss they're searching their missing thumbs instead of missing persons files......

  • Omeggo
    Omeggo Member Posts: 42

    Funny thing about my friend, she had made a big point a couple of months ago about being 'real' friends, which I guess translated to that she wanted it to be more about me, too.  So she had a teeny, tiny bit of awareness at that brief moment.  But she's back to her old tricks.  It actually works out, in a way.  I find I'm now quite disinclined to share my health stuff with people like her.  I have a step sister who is similar.  It's a lot easier to just listen (or whatever it was I was doing - tuning out and fuming) than to try and really express myself.  We can get so habituated and patterned in our relationships.  The lesson for me is to find people who are more on my wavelength.  But these older relationships challenge my patience.

    Mary:  Funny story! Those ARE our tax dollars at work!  I can think of about 100 million other ways tax dollars could be used.  On the other hand, maybe your dad's thumb will be processed and used for the next small layer of AlloDerm for someone's reconstruction down the road, ha ha!

  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 3,737
    I am the expresso owl!!
  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 3,600

    Decaf owl looks like he is loaded with something a lot stronger than decaf!  Probably about 100 proof.

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433
    Expresso looks like I feel after my massive dose of dex on monday morningsLaughing.
  • Alyson
    Alyson Member Posts: 3,737
    This is what I want - a long black owl. We have a coffe here called a long black, a double espresso with a little water in it, now thats coffee. Why did I get started on coffee cause I found that North Americans can't make  really good coffee which really surprised me.
  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 3,600

    Alyson, that sounds like the way I make my coffee but I also enjoy straight espresso too.  I have my own machine and grind my beans just before brewing.  Needless to say I do not drink the coffee away from or at most espresso stands though there is one here in town that makes a good cup.  Well except for one of the bariestas!

  • Omeggo
    Omeggo Member Posts: 42

    Hi all.  Nice owl shots!  Although I like my espresso/coffee really strong, I do resemble the 'regular' owl up there. Just put glasses on her and that's me!

    Anyway, I was working here and all I could think of was that my comment about Mary's dad's thumb might qualify me as one of those tastelessly humored people or worse!  I'm just delusional enough to think that a)  I'm not ever one of those people or that b) everyone would want to know who contributed to the AlloDerm which now resides under or their implants as a permanent feature to their 'inner self', aka under their pectoral muscles, or 3) someone actually knows what the hell I'm talking about, on any level with regard to any post!

    So my dear Mary, even though deep in my heart I really doubt you are offended, I am trying to raise my awareness a little bit.  After all, I'm pretty eager these days to give a tongue lashing to those I deem as insensitive to me...but maybe, just maybe, I could look in the mirror.

    My love to all today.  May it be a day FILLED with a lot of healthy fun poked at ourselves!  That would be a change for me!  Foot in mouth

  • jomama2
    jomama2 Member Posts: 12

    Hi all -- this is one of my favorite threads!  I'm addicted to it.  Thought I'd post a funny comment made to me Friday afternoon by a teacher at the high school where I work.  She was inquiring as to my follow-up treatment and wanted to know if "they were monitoring my PSA levels closely"!!!  WT???  I just shook my head in amazement.  Wanted to tell her probably the ONLY two medical conditions I'm not at risk for are erectile dysfunction and prostate cancer.

  • Omeggo
    Omeggo Member Posts: 42

    Jomama2:  What a GREAT contribution this morning!  I'm a little addicted to the boards myself but I'm so behind I try not to even log in! (But, here I am).  Thanks for the giggle.

  • gardengumby
    gardengumby Member Posts: 4,860

    back to coffee.  I really love good coffee, though I rarely drink it.  But, the best coffee I've ever had was at a Cuban restaurant in San Jose, CA.  I cannot remember the name of the restaurant, but their cuban coffee was to die for!!!

  • chabba
    chabba Member Posts: 3,600

    I also love turkish coffee. You drink it as you would an espresso.  It is thick and sweet, flavored with cardamon.  The coffee beans, sugar and spice are ground to a powder.  Water is brought to a boil in a special little brass pot, the powder added off the fire then the pot is brought back to a boil 3 or 4 times.

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,484

    Well, ya'll made me do it. Have 2 new google searches open to look for cuban and turkish coffee. I bought a can of Cafe Bustelo Espresso Coffee. Put it thru reg. Mr. Coffee; no espresso maker here. Kick ass coffee. They have recipes just noticed on can lid.  www.javacabana.com - Look good! How can anything with "cabana" in it go wrong?

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671

    Cafe Bustella!  great stuff!

  • Linda-n3
    Linda-n3 Member Posts: 1,713

    Kona is my all-time favorite ... Very smooth and rich. Hard to find locally, even hard to find Kona blend locally now.

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    Omeggo-not offended in the least-and thats all that matters. As a matter of fact my dad probably would have found it funny as hell too and it absolutely would of been a favorite of his to tell, so dont think another thing about it. and whats more this thread is a great place to laugh. In fact my husband was looking over my shoulder the other night and wanted to know what was so funny about coat hangers and blue balls?

  • SillyMama
    SillyMama Member Posts: 49

    OK, I've been pinked.

    DH brought home the groceries yesterday, including a box of water bottles with pink stuff on the wrapping. Ugh. Apparently, it's part of Kroger grocery store's "Sharing Courage" campaign... The website *did* mention that they will provide 3 million dollars for local support of research, mammograms, etc. And Yoplait yogurt has an ad on the Sharing Courage website, too: Asking you to text "Pink" to their number... I'm suspicious that they're using the cell phone addresses. Am I paranoid or just tired of pink?

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671

    not suspect at all, just tired of pink, someone offered to wear a t pink T at our meeting next week....I gently said I really like colors and any color other than pink would be preferable

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433
       i geuss Ill have to retire all my pink t-shirts-I wore one today ireally do like the color pink, but this t-shirt had nothing to do with breast cancer-it had a fish and ocean isle beach on it- some sweet old lady told me she was so proud of me for supporting the cause! If she hadnt been so sweet i would have asked her what saving the beaches or the fish!Yell
  • gmafoley
    gmafoley Member Posts: 5,978

    Oh I wish I was that little baby.. I could use snuggles like that... How about you?

    sloth 

  • Omeggo
    Omeggo Member Posts: 42

    I'll take one!!!!

  • GramE
    GramE Member Posts: 2,234
    I remembered this thread from a year ago or so and just had to post the new reason we all got BC  --- straight from the mouth of the taxi driver in Vegas --   because we wear bras and put fabric on our breasts.   Althought the ride was short, he managed to fill almost every minute with how the manufacturers of bras get their profits from us.     
  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 1,433

    Oh now thats the most enlightening thing Ive heard in a while.

  • proudtospin
    proudtospin Member Posts: 4,671

    well who can argue with a taxi driver