OMG They Found the Cure for Stupid
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for me and likely others, it was all about nerves~~~my area did not do too bad on the snow but have family who is without heat and junk
us east coast folks are tired of all this, can I come visit down under? assuming you are having better weather?
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Weather is great at present a bit humid but not too hot which is what our summers are like. Rain is needed as it's very dry and the farmers are complaining. We don't get snow in this part of the country, further south there was heavy snow during winter and long power cuts but it was summer when we had the big power cuts here which almost closed down the city. Hopefully those supply problems have been solved. As a child I lived in part the country that did not have a stable supply of electricity and at times we had regular power cuts which seemed to rule our lives. Its funny as I am sitting smiling and remembering the hurricane lamps we used however I have no desire to go back to that. It must be so difficult without power in the cold and for long periods of time.
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Alyson, yeap, you quickly learn how many blankets are needed to get through the night
family and friends seem to all have power back, only my sister has busted pipes and a huge tree down
I think the east coast is done with dumb weather or that is what I think and hope! Spring can not come fast enough
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I thought licorice root was BAD for ER+/PR+ breast cancer.....
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Phewww, I have just spent a week, starting from page 1 and read this entire thread...I think I may be banned from GE for buying up all thier Bounty and asparagus and mushrooms and tin foil and lemons and lighters and asparagusash trays... this thread was awesome as all of you that have contributed!!!! Just think only another 10 pages and another Hen House party for 200!!!! I hope that it keeps going.
Thanks for all the laughter!!! Euro
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I'll add a post to get us there.
Alyson, that is a lot of TP but the PT might be useful for cleaning up. On the green movement in US, some are starting to use flannel wipes and washing them in machine... yes, instead of toilet paper. I think bath tissue is the nose stuff here.
So, don't know if this is for the bonfire of goddesses or the stupid pile. Me and nurse at oncologist's office. Last appt she knew I was LE on right arm and did BP on left. I have high level of confusion and memory loss on any given day, early this week when I went for 2nd appt, she did bp. I was rolling up the sleeve on left and she ssaid her cuff was lg enough for the sweater, leave it down. Then before me and Hubby and without us correcting her, she did th BP on right LE arm. I know she pumped a lot and her hand was tired she said and I said, good bcz my arm hurts like blazes now, she quit. BP was high. Arm hurt like heck, still, but been more occupied w the UTI I am now better from. STILL, DARN... I did not even realize it was the LE arm until last evening and asked Hubby, and he said, yes, she did, he didn't even realize either. And he said to order that LE bracelet, which I am doing next.
edited to add, and oh wren, I will not look at sea cucumber the same again, eewww, not that I have ever seen one. lol
Essa
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Ok Mother Cluckers...we have requests to make this thread alive again. So, I am recruiting!! We need to get back in the front-back meetings, find that Cure Guy, create music, update the Recipe, puffand pass...I can't do this alone!!
who wants to be security?
Who's writing lyrics??
Emily...you got the Recipe?
Secretary?? Choir?? Interrogation squad? Anyone in the legal states willing to grow you-know-what for medicinal purposes of course...
Tin designers...Bacon Bra Builders? Office manager?? IT?? Pizza delivery? Geek Squad?
Puff puff pass....positions will be assigned after acceptance of the Mother Cluckers International rules and regulations...which we need a writer for!!
Its about clucking time to get the Cluckers in the HenHouse!!0 -
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Fuzzy so pleased to see you, this silly old clucker has been sitting out back of the front trying to hold things together in your absence, several silly chooks have appeared but never enough for a meeting.
Offer services as choir mistress and will find suitable music for next meeting in the hen house.
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Cluck, cluck bawgak, puff puff and pass on.
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Thought we culd learn this.
There ain't nobody here but us chickens, there ain't nobody here at all
So calm yourself, stop that fuss, ain't nobody here but us
We're chickens trying to sleep and you butt in
And hobble, hobble, hobble, hobble with your chin
There ain't nobody here but us chickens, there ain't nobody here at all
You're stompin' around, shakin' the ground, kickin' up an aweful dust
We're chickens trying to sleep and you butt in
And hobble, hobble, hobble, hobble, it's a sin0 -
Alyson!! The position is YOURS!! Nice work Mother Clucker!! This thread was designed for obnoxiousness and sillyness like no other thread on the boards...moving forward...we shall meet at 1:00 (like the time matters, right??) LOL You and I have agenda items to tend to ...
First, we puff. Second, we pass. Third ... uh oh ... I'd like to go back to the First ... should I be running these meetings???
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Time to get our uniforms again...
Think this will work??
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Sorry, cant wear that as my one boob would seriously look out of place in that, But I must say, I know where to get mushrooms, AND rooster curtains!
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Forgot to add, for all of you who remember my dads thumb story, I do now have connections with law enforcement if we should ever need it.
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Mary, Got to have those rooster curtains so we don't need the real thing.
Alyson, Love the song. Wonder how long my brain will take to learn all the words.
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Thought maybe a good rooster story would kick start the reanimation of the chickens! From thebloggess.com
This morning I had a fight with Victor about towels. I can’t tell you the details because it wasn’t interesting enough to document at the time, but it was basically me telling Victor I needed to buy new bath towels, and Victor insisting that I NOT buy towels because I “just bought new towels“. Then I pointed out that the last towels I’d bought were hot pink beach towels, and he was all “EXACTLY” and then I hit my head against the wall for an hour.
Then Laura came to pick me up so we could go to the discount outlet together, and as Victor gave me a kiss goodbye he lovingly whispered, “You are not allowed to bring any more goddam towels in this house or I will strangle you“. And that was exactly what I was still echoing through my head an hour later, when Laura and I stopped our shopping carts and stared up in confused, silent awe at a display ofenormous metal chickens, made from rusted oil drums.
Laura: I think you need one of those.
me: You’re joking, but they’re kind of horrifically awesome.
Laura: I’m not joking. We need to buy you one.
me: The 5-foot tall one was $300, marked down to $100. That’s like, $200 worth of chicken for free.
Laura: You’d be crazy not to buy that. I mean, look at it. IT’S FULL OF WHIMSY.
me: Victor’d be pissed.
Laura: Yup.
me: But on the plus side? It’s not towels.
Laura: Yup.
me: We will name him Henry. Or Charlie. Or O’Shannesy.
Laura: Or Beyoncé.
me: Or Beyoncé. Yes. And when our friends are sad we can leave him at their front door to cheer them up.
Laura: Exactly. It’ll be like, “You thought *yesterday* was bad? Well, now you have a enormous metal chicken to deal with. Perspective. Now you have it.”
Then we flagged down a salesman, and we were all “What can you tell us about these chickens?”, as if we were in an art gallery, and not in a store that specializes in last years’ bathmats. He didn’t know anything about them, but he said that they’d only only sold one and it was to a really drunk lady, and then Laura and I were all “SOLD. All this chicken belongs to us now.”
So he loaded it onto a trolley, but Beyoncé was surprisingly unstable, and the giant 5 foot metal chicken crashed over onto the floor. And Laura and I were all “CHICKEN DOWN! CLEAN-UP IN AISLE 3″ but he didn’t laugh. Then the manager came to see what was causing all the commotion, and that’s when he found the very-conservative salesman unhappily struggling to right an enthusiastically pointy chicken which was almost as tall as he was. The salesman was having a hard time, and he told everyone to stand back “because this chicken will cut you“, and at first I thought he meant it as a threat, like “That chicken has a shiv”, but turns out he just meant that all the chickens’ ends were sharp and rusty. It was awesome, and Laura and I agreed that even if we got tetanus, this chicken had already paid for himself even before we got it in her truck.
Then we got to my house and quietly snuck the chicken up to my front door, rang the doorbell, and hid around the corner.
Victor opened the door and looked at the chicken in stunned silence for about 3 seconds. Then he sighed, closed the door and walked away.
Laura: What the fuck? That’s it? That’s the only reaction we get?
me: That’s it. He’s a hard man to rattle.
Victor was surprisingly pissed that I’d “wasted money” on an enormous chicken, because apparently he couldn’t appreciate the hysterical value of a 5 foot chicken ringing the doorbell. Then I said, “Well, at least it’s not towels” and apparently that was the wrong thing to say because that’s when Victor screamed and stormed off, but I knew he was locked in his office because I could hear him punching things in there. Then I yelled through his door, “It’s an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. 15 YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS.”
Then he yelled that he wanted it gone, but I couldn’t move it myself, so instead I said okay and went to watch tv. Then when the UPS guy came I hid, but he was all “Dude. Nice chicken” and Victor yelled, “IT IS NOT A NICE CHICKEN”. Which was probably very confusing to the UPS guy, who was just trying to be polite, Victor. Victor seemed more disgruntled than usual, so I finally dragged the chicken into the backyard and wedged it into a clump of trees so that it could scare the snakes away. Then I came in and Victor angrily pulled me into his office so that I could see that I’d stationed Beyoncé directly in front of his only window. And I was all “Exactly. YOU’RE WELCOME.” I told him that he could move Beyoncé if he wanted to, but he totally hasn’t. Probably because of all of the giant rocks I piled on Beyonce’s feet to dissuade burglars. Or possibly because Beyoncé is growing on him. Still, I can’t help but think that we wouldn’t even be having this argument if Beyoncé was towels. Honestly, this whole chicken is really a lesson in picking your battles more carefully. Plus, he’s awesome and I can’t stop giggling every time I look at him. Beyoncé, that is.
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Great story! For our 50th anniversary we purchased a 2 foot rooster, made out of scrap metal. Actually we tried to purchase it, but a couple who found out it was our 50th had already bought it and had it delivered to our cabin. Last year DH bought a goat to keep it company.
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AND I must add that the many pages of ridiculously funny jokes in this section not only brought hours of healing laughter through tough times, but also prompted me to make my kitchen a shrine to chickens (and some roosters), including the rooster curtains, so everyday I remember the clucking group! Close to 87 chickens of all shapes and sizes (not counting the ones printed on the curtains).
My SIL came over when we first moved in. She had been to a garage sale, and was expounding on the lady who had tables of chickens for sale. (We had not entered the house yet.) She wanted to know what kind of crazy woman would have so many chicken things ... those were her last words before walking into my kitchen. The silence was deafening.
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Oh that story was a hoot. I have to tell you that my future dil is planning a very country wedding. She was showing me pictures of the center-pieces she wants to use. Now, she has no idea that I have such a distaste for roosters, Weve never really talked about it before. Guess whats in the middle of the flowers? Yup! Roosters. She said arent these just so cute? I just said well, they are different thats for sure. I didnt know what else to say, except lets add some fake mushrooms and asp. stalks!
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Don't forget to wear the correct shoes!
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How about these
and
This is for Fuzzy, now we just have to find a few others to join us at the back of the front hen house.0 -
PS. Where is the Cure recipe?
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Where do you all go to find such designer talent?!!!
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With apologies to the Five Little Chickens
Said the first little chicken,
With a funny reddish blush
"I wish I could find
Some fat asparagusSaid the second little chicken,
With its voice a bit flat,
"I wish I could find
A lovely tinfoil hat."Said the third little chicken,
With a great big sigh,
"I wish I could find
Some nice bacon pie."Said the fifth little chicken,
With a faint little moan,
"I wish I could find
A pretty mushroom."Said the fourth little chicken,
With a sigh of relief,
"I have found
A little green leaf.""Now see here," said the old mother clucker,
From the green asparagus patch,
"If you want any cure,
Just come here and PUFF!"(Last verse needs improving - suggestions might be considered.)
Choir Mistress and Chorus Director
Puff puff and pass.
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Saw so many bikes yesterday - almost a thousand Harleys and thought of Lowrider.
I wonder if one of these could be the cure guy.
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Not sure if one is the cure guy, but I bet both could furnish some herb if we told them why we wanted it.
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I bet THEY could come up with a good mushroom or two also!
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Those hallucinatory mushrooms grow wild here in people's yards. One day you look outside and there's 5 middle school kids crawling around on your lawn. I'm leery of strange mushrooms; too many are poisonous.
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I meant to add thatI think the five little chickens was awesome and it would go great with the tune of Partridge in a Pear Tree. Great Job!
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Yippee Fuzzy has called a party.
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