INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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Tang it's still understandable.
Teka I'm glad u watched the game---good for u.
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sad deb - "I actually had one person tell me, "time to buck up girl!". WTH?? I woulda said "buck this!" and gotten out my paintball gun. That was before meds though. Now I just go for the pb gun....(.pb= paintball NOT peanut butter)
I had a lot more anger than sadness in the beginning. Oh wait! I still do. Just kidding. Chevy sent me to anger management classes. The treatment was that I had to read cammi's posts EVERY DAY! There is no way to be angry or even sad when you read her posts. Sometimes they make me laugh and sometimes I just snort coffee out of my nose. I had to get a new monitor.
Another thing that cheered me up was talking to Sassy on the phone every day about constipation. That was a hoot! (no pun intended, owlettes) She's especially fun after a bottle of wine. For her, not me.
I love you ladies!
Phyllo-paean
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Tang, I feel like we travel in the same bc circles... I hate when I am jealous of ladies with great bodies (well I always felt that way lol) and have great boobs, while I'm wearing zip up jackets two sizes too big with a sock stuffed in my frankenboob side, just to not feel sooo self conscious. Now of course who knows what they are going thru, but yes I wish I had something to celebrate. I guess we could say we are alive and kicking cancer in the butt so that's something to celebrate, but somehow it's not the same.
I know as far as what people have said to me, I'm tired of the omg you have cancer pity face/voice. First of all I feel like I HAD cancer and now chemo is to stop it from coming back. Apparently not everyone thinks like that. Also, I'm tired of talking bc 24/7. I want to talk about the weather, stocks heck politics and religion at this point, really anything but bc. So I find myself retreating during the week and not talking with my friends. I also text more, seems like that is a limited conversation and I don't have to hear the pity voice.
As for dh, he is wonderful. Ok can you tell I am remarried only for 7 years now. First hubby would have been an a$&hole, and still is, but that's a whole other story. Anyway new and improved dh is fabulous with care, he talks to ps, sometimes like I'm not there, but really is on top of things, except me lol. On that subject to be fair I still have drains and he does not want to hurt me, I'm sure once that's gone and skin has healed a little more we will be back in action 😉. It's funny we work together and apparently he talks to everyone about all this, while like I said I talk to no one. One of the guys texted me the other day so I hear you bought a hat with hair attached to it. Gee is nothing sacred?
I also want to say not a day goes by without the water works turning in. Today was about the fact that my walk in closet was a mess and I should have cleaned it prior to surgery, my kids think I have lost it, I probably have. Hope to find it soon!
Port surgery cancelled for tomorrow due to snow and now set for Friday, which means chemo is pushed back a week. I guess I'll get my nails done prior to that, still unsure if I can get fills ( on my nails not te!) during chemo.
Well I was chatty, after catching up on everyone's post, I hope I captured some of the other ladies feelings.
Smaarty good luck tomorrow, hope all goes well and congrats on getting rid do those tes!
Blessings, my condolences to you and your family on your loss.
Dutch, happy birthday, I hope you feel better and it's not the flu!
Hope everyone has a great upcoming week!
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Teka, great for you getting a bit of an escape! You need more and longer escapes like that.
Did everyone leave after the Super Bowl?Let's see, if you all left, you can't answer that! What was I thinking? One beer and brain can't function.
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Njmom, It was similar with us. I talked to no one and DH told everyone. I was glad he was able to get support from friends because he was a great support for me. Not my business, but your DH might be right to wait a bit. At least till the drains are out. We had a pillow over my chest the first few times just to be careful.
Tang, I know what you mean. Everyone else is celebrating and we're standing watching. I believe we'll have our turn in the future, but right now it's not fun.
Smaarty, Congratulations on the sewing. In your pocket tomorrow. I know getting the squishies is a big event.
Teka, I watched the game too - kind of had to here. It's the second game I've watched in about 5 years. Everyone here is so excited and firecrackers are going off everywhere. My foster cat, Goldie, disapproves and looks scared. We're trying to reassure here, but she's still nervous.
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Mdn, Forgot to say I heartily recommend staying off Google. The info on here is reliable and up to date. You can't really research until you know your stage, grade, and hormone status. Once you have that from pathology, then you can research things that apply to you. You'll have a plan for what comes next, which feels so much better than limbo of waiting.
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Ohhhh..... brain fog!!! Can't catch up!
Random thoughts:
When I got "The Call" I asked DH how attached he was to my boobs. He said "Well, they're nice, but I'd rather have YOU." (Good answer.) After my BMX/recon, he was my rock. He'd been a volunteer firefighter/medic, and worked as an EMT on an ambulance for a while. He saw it all. Nothing in my surgery fazed him. He helped me change dressings, clean drains, everything. He got to know my TEs and my reconstructed breasts very well, as he was my primary photographer for the Picture Forum. I was so fortunate... but I can't fault those who do not handle medical stuff well. Not everyone can. When my mom had her MX, I stayed with her and did all the drain stuff, etc, so I guess I was prepared.
I think BC makes us all OCD. We've completely lost control of our health, and we grasp at things we MIGHT be able to control. We read and research, and research some more. Unfortunately, Dr. Google can be a liar and a fearmonger, just making things worse. There is a point at which we have to let go, and let the docs do their job.
BCO is an incredible place to learn the realities of BC, and how no matter what the dx, everyone is different.
After my BMX/ recon, I did go through a tough time of trying to figure out who I was. I'm still seeing an awesome therapist (a referral from my MO) who is working with me on that.
To those who expressed condolences, and inquired as to how I was doing, thank you!
I think it's time to hit the hay despite my three hour nap during the Super Bowl.
TTFN, Owlettes! I promise to be more specific tomorrow!!!
xoxoxoxo
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ok, up to date. Where to start?
Even reading stuff here onBCO scared me before I had the TEs put in, thinking I might be better off just forgetting the whole thing. I also felt it would be easier on the family to not do recon. That was in sept, then delayed to oct. I did stop going to BCO for awhile, I had to stop reading all the stuff that can go wrong. It does seem that those that are not having problems don't post. I know I feel that way at times because I think I've had it pretty easy (ask me about that tomorrow after I get home!).
but I came back, found this thread and a couple of others. Now I'm addicted! So happy birthday to ??, can't remember who said that, if I go back, I'll lose what I just wrote. Mine is next week so I'll have new perky boobs for my BD. I said that at the beginning of this journey. Speaking of pockets, I'm wearing my pjs tomorrow which does have pockets! So I'm ready for any or all of you. Looking forward to being done. Hopefully no problems after tomorrow . I've learned how to be a couch potato so can do it again.
I did read up a lot before I found out I was positive and with each surgery. At times I just get brained fried and had to force myself to stop! Not always easy. DH was been good with helping me and doing everything around the house. I haven't hidden anything from him but haven't gone out of my way to include him in everything. His hearing is a BIG issue with us and I just can't keep repeating myself when I'm upset and he can't hear me. So I have shut down a little with him. He is trying so I don't complain.
Deb-there are some humor threads here that are funny! When you need a laugh go look them up. I hope your results are what you're hoping for. Everybody here is very nice, funny and will help you through this mess. I'm glad I found this thread. In your pocket.
It's getting late so I'm going to finish another thread, then head to bed. Think I'll be ok sleeping tonight, not too nervous yet. That usually hits just before we leave.
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Well 2:25 am i just took a pain killer and a sleeping pill cuz i cant really do it on my own
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smart, I remember the nights before surgery, insisted it have my Xanax night before and morning of surgeries, procedures and fills. If they wanted me compliant, that was the deal.
Enerva, you always find the cutest owls!
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Enerva, you don't have to do it all on your own. We understand and are here. Hugs
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welcome midnight deb - let the tears fall - trying to control them just makes you feel worse.... this site has helped keep me sane (as sane as i've ever been that is). i also did a lot of reading/web surfing/etc. my mother was a 30+ yr survivor, my daughter is a 14 yr survivor, and i'm coming up on 3 yrs since diagnosis. even knowing as much as i did, it was still a big blow & i was "in shock" for quite awhile. the toughest times were waiting for test results - i don't believe that ever changes. i am fortunate to have an understanding and helpful family but my on-line sisters are the ones i can spill everything to. i have about 6 different favorite topics that i read daily - i'm not much of a "talker" but i love keeping up with the posts.
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Good Morning Hooters--oops I mean owlettes or something similar.
I hope u all had a good nite sleep last nite that always helps for the day ahead. I did OK so I'm all set for my little phone job, which I am waiting to get fired from, it just hasn't happened yet. I have waited for a while so I know it's coming. But I sound real worried don't I.. Everyone should be up soon and I'll be taking my first nap. Need I say more.
Yes I need.. Phyloprisonguard, I'm so glad to hear u have moved up the ladder of u'r crime spree and am doing so much volunteer work, of course we know it mandatory so u can rid u'r self of the ankle bracelet, but u'r finally admitting u floozy lifestyle and stepping up to the plate. Don't forget we mentored u and made u the woman u are today, or we made u the woman u were before I don't know what we did to u actually. Probably nothing for u--I blame Chevy she started all this, not me.
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It's so fun to get up and find all my friends here, just talking and having a good old time!
Or some of you gals, just trying to get over all the stuff that GOT us here!
Yes Littlegoats... We DO have a lot of educated gals around here! And they really DO help us.... Like Cammi for instance! She knows more about telephones, furnaces and nightgowns with ruffles than anyone on here! I'm just sayin'.....
I used to Google everything also.... Sometimes it helps, but when you are new to this, sometimes it does scare the living crap out of you... We are better than Google... I think. So just ask us anything, about whatever is on your mind.....
The Super Bowl? Now if THAT wasn't embarrassing! It's as if the Bronco's couldn't find that ball with both hands! After awhile, I was rooting for Seattle! Denver did this once before.... got into the Super Bowl, barely.... Then just laid down and got tromped! Same as last night. But I thought for SURE this time, that they would pull it off... Oh well... I'm actually not a foot-ball fan anyway.... so there.
Nascar is just around the corner.... I like that and Hockey!
Morning Aly, hope you are feeling better this morning... And GG! Always love to see you here...
Deb, don't ever apologize for a long post... just hang out with us... when you write, it's like getting all those thoughts out of your head...
pretty soon, you will be "thoughtless'.... (snicker) ! I just made that up.
See, you WILL get through this, then you can offer expert advice like Me and Cammi do!
Pawprint.... Thank you... Sorry about Truffles... Yes... so easy to be going along, and something reminds me of her... and bam!
Bluebird! You have really been through a lot... someday, when things settle down, you will feel a little more normal, like you used to be...
ME? I can't even rely on THAT! Ha! I am never "normal".... Neither is Cammi....
Cammi! You have stars? and no boobs AND you make decisions? I'm hanging up. Just so you'll know. Oh you CAN'T be a drama queen! You don't have enough drama going on, to be a Queen at it! You can be a "Princess" ..... a little drama Princess!
Jazzy! Are you sleeping better? I like your little whatever it is! What IS that thing? He has ears like mine!
Morning 2ndTime! And Teka! Your first foot-ball game? That's not really how it's supposed to be, you know.... I don't know WHAT happened with Denver... It's like they just STARTed playing foot-ball! I mean even High-School guys give it more effort. Seattle just kicked their ever-livin' butts out there! And THEN some! The best team won.
Smarty! We are with you! Let us know.... And you said your Husband has a hearing issue???? We must be related. I HAVE HEARING ISSUES TOO, but I wear hearing aids... I'm just being a smarty-pants... Oh wait... that was funny!!!! I said your name!..... I TRY to hear my Husband and his deep low voice, but man, it is HARD... (his voice) and when I say "what" he just YELLS it! And I jump! It's like a comedy of errors around here!
Tang.... I just love seeing the little girls next door... They just make me laugh, with their antics... And soooooo sweet! They are even better than the chickens! Ha! Shut up Cammi...
Teka! You laughed! I love that.... You are coming around, girl!
Morning Spookie! and Ginger! And mostly, mostly Phyllidinkwiththeanklemonitor! So fun to SEE you! Yes... you still terrorizing your neighborhood with that paint-ball gun strapped to your waist?
So okay gals.... she sounds so innocent... but ask HER about Big BerthaintheBIGhouse! Those stories she told!!!! We love you TOO Phyllidink! Honest.
And where IS SASS? I'm tellin' you guys, just between you and me, SHE has this live-in, that keeps her SOOOOOOOOOO busy... And probably tied to the bed! So she takes vacations from us... more like retreats... or rehab.... one or the other...
NJmom! Every time I see your name I think of Ninja Mom...Ha! You just STARTED all this! Damn! We are with you.... and we don't have to talk about all that stuff, unless you want to... I'll come clean your closet... Soon as I do mine... Oh wait... you said "get my nails done!"
So I read where this "polish" called "OPI" NAIL ENVY Nail strengthener is very good for our damaged nails. I ordered 2 online, and it is really helping! I didn't have chemo, but so much other stuff going on, have really ganged-up on my nails! So it really helps! I think it was the "tips and tricks" thread... or somewhere...
So after we clear THAT up for you, we will work on your Husband stuff. No probs. He sounds like he really wants to help you! So you talk to "no-one" and your DH does it FOR you... Ha,ha! Maybe that's how HE gets support also. Don't worry, he will be back on top of things
when ever he thinks he can.... without you throwing him off the bed. Morning Wren! Hug Goldie for me.... Congratulations on the win, I said to her, as the Sea-Hawks just beat the crap out of DENVER!
Blessings..... We all want to borrow your Husband... Sounds like he can handle anything... You SLEPT during the Super Bowl? Ha! Well, you didn't miss a thing! Hope you are feeling better....
Okay.... We are with you Smarty! xoxoxoxo
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Cammi! Oh so you finally woke up? Only to go back to bed? You GO girl!
That was so funny, you talking to Phylliwiththemonitor! No, I didn't start this.... SHE did! SHE told us all about her prison-life, and her.... uh... "friends!" And how she cut off her ankle bracelet? And she posted pictures of her purple toe-nails? I love that actually.... I'm just envious.
So am I supposed to be spelling "you".... "U"..... ???? Well it IS much easier....
And WE mentored her? Are you KIDDING? She's a goner for sure.
No.... Don't get fired... is there some boss you can sleep with? I mean just like before? That assures you of a permanent position....
I mean within the company, so to speak.MostlyMom.... we just like to know you are here.... You can just read if you want, or if we don't hear from you for very long, we will come drag you out of bed...
Okay.... love you guys! xoxoxo
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Thinking of you Smaarty!
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OMG 5 pages since saturday
Welcome all newbies
MDN everything you are feeling I s normally abnormal. It sucks.Talk with doc asap and get connected with a counselor. I'll send some links. I'll go find them now so I don't forget
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didn't get to sleep in liked I hoped. Up at 5 to pee, then couldn't get back to sleep. So I did the check book and paid the bills. Finished the dress I made this weekend, fixed my moms taxes I already finished for her and now on my iPad. Only a little jittery right now. Did manage to poop, always worry that I'm not going to be able to soon enough before I go in. Did I tell you I'm wearing my pjs into the surgery center? Was told to be comfortable so I didn't have to change clothes when I get home. Don't have to clean house this morning, turned out the rest of the gang did it while I was at the retreat. Now I don't care if the house is dirty, though I still need to clean out the litter boxes before we leave.
The game was on when I got home, normally he doesn't watch, but I think it was mostly for the commercials. I wanted to see the new Budweiser with the puppy.
Everybody take care. Things will sort themselves out. AND this too shall pass!
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MNDDEB--sent you this by PM in case you didn't come back.
I'm from insomnia thread. I've been off 2 days and there's 5 pages.
Some links for tips stuff, Put them in your favs cuz it will take awhile to get through them.
http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/5/topic/785763?page=1#idx_1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=69&id=706846&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=69&id=721889&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=8&id=792169&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=67&id=755825&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=67&id=755825&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=62&id=735716&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=6&id=781867&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=79&id=798514&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=8&id=770023&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=64&id=811841&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=78&id=770796&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=64&id=764403&page=1
http://community.breastcancer.org/topic_post?forum_id=44&id=754935&page=1
these are all links that I keep in my Favs, b/c they are related to stuff that happens to us. Some I've worked on. Others I haven't , but I keep them in case someones got a question. Some are my threads.Seriously, just put them in your favs and read later. you can always delete them if you find no value. Don't let this list overwhelm you.
Click on them, look at the name, click on Favs. The one you should start with is Just Diagnosed Get Prepared. Sassy
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Smaarty I like that idea of wearing what u want so u don't have to change when u get home--U should wear a teddy there, believe u me u will get a reaction, then bring what u'll really wear another color teddy--they said comfort-make sure it has faux fur on it.
OK Sas is back after a 2 day hiatus, which we all know who oops what she's doing, then they have to rest.So anyone new Sas will have al kinds of ideas and things for u to help.
Now I know Chevy doesn't remember what to say to anyone, her brain is the size of a flea, we all know that, that's how she knew so much about the fleas on our brilliant discussion on the life of the flea. Which we all know is so cancer related NOT, but it was her subject---so I figure she can do double screen, which I do admire if that's what she's doing. Or she's writing things down-maybe. Anyway whatever she's doing I hve to admit it's good, cuz I can't remember anything. But I do remember some things.BTW Chevy my "admittance" of how I kept my jobs has expired, it's called my booby trap, but it is no longer.For obvious reasons.
And yes I do take plenty of naps during the day, cuz I can,
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Oh Cami now we're Hooters. Lol.
Smaarty - the night before my lumpectomy I did work paperwork all night - I had worked that day and made home visits. No sleep at all. I just barely got in the 2nd shower and off we went. It was probably for the best anyway looking back. I dozed off/on in bed waiting for surgery. Sounds like a productive early morning and what a treat to come home to a clean house. Know you're prob. on your way shortly if not already gone. In your pocket.
Phyllo - volunteering sounds great. I need to get back into something but I've become such a hermit this winter. Days of just not going anywhere. You'd think my house was perfectly clean - not.
Cami - I made up for the heated throw. I was covered up last night watching the end of the game/news with a quilt, DH's coat over my feet/knees and my coat over my front. Toasty warm like that but unable to move HaHa, even hard to use TV remote.
Chevy - Find one thing you do extremely well - Uhhh Does sleeping and eating count???
Morning Sassypants.
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Oh luv I bumped right into u, hope no harm was done--wel u sounded warm to me.
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I did this along time ago I call it my storage thread. I store lots of links. The list I made for Smarrty came in handy for Midngtdeb b/c it's a list for newbies. Thought perhaps someone else might want to try the same thing.
Dec 19, 2012 09:36am, edited a few seconds ago by sas-schatzi
You(anyone) can create a place to post notes, keep links etc . Can be used to track anything you want.
"How to use:
Make your own by cutting and pasting instructions here, Move cursor from bottom to top or top to bottom, till the section turns blue. then hit cntlC, then click on new topic--title topic "My personal To Do and Remember List". ctrl-v to paste instructions in box , submit, and it's done. Then>>>>>
1. Click on FAVORITES: places this on your favorites list. When you click on it on your favorites list, it will bring you to the page that you have essentially reserved for yourself by your first (only)post.
2. First post: post whatever it is you want to remember. Using whatever abbreviations you want. Only you need to know to decipher post. Click on "Submit".
3. To continue to post notes: click on "EDIT". Re-enter your post-- add date(not necessary) & note and hit submit. Continue using same post for all entries.
4. Cleaning up post: periodically delete old entries. Some entries, you may want to leave for historical retrieval i.e birthdays, cancerversaries of BCO friends etc. It's your post use it how you want.
5. No rules: --I save lot's of things I want to retrieve for later. "
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Good morning! I'm very excited that I'm awake! I fell asleep about 3 a.m. and slept until 9 a.m. IT'S A MIRACLE! It's almost normal, kinda sorta.
Chevy - it was Big Alice and her tattoo team. Oh guess what! Now that I'm on an antidepressant, sometimes I FORGET the paintball gun. WTH?!?! I obviously need a new morning routine where I won't forget it. It's hard to police this town without it.
Sassy - regarding the antidepressant. It's interesting that I hardly care if my stupid feet hurt all the time. Is that progress or drunken drug addiction?
mostlymom - I love your avatar!
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GOOD MORNING OWLETTES; whew we've been busy. I have so many pages to catch up on, But wanted to Check in with MNDEB first---then it seemed reasonable that someone else would like to make there own storage area.
I have a new & very unusual problem. I have an allergy to polyurethane IV catheters. I have had six IV's since April last year. Last one was last wed. 5 of 6 looked like they were becoming infected. Cratering , red, and itchy. The 5 took forever to heal. Mentioned this to the nurse that did wed. IV. She mentioned the hospital got new IV units a year ago. At superbowl party there was a friend that I worked with told her my problem b/c surgery is in a few weeks. I told her the only one that didn't get nasty was the one started in the surgical & special procedures area, which she's now a supervisor in.
This area didn't switch to the new IV units. The catheters they use are teflon. They switched back to the teflon b/c too many IV's were blowing in OR & special procedures.
Today or tomorrow I will go back to the nurse who started last weeks IV. She will have to make a report to the FDA as an ADVERSE EVENT for a device. Nurse just called, it's going to get complicated now b/c she wants to bring in Risk Management.
So, off to see if there's any FDA reports.
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sassypants - hahahaha! you're SUCH a little troublemaker! Except that you always catch the right stuff. I can't imagine that you're the only one with that sensitivity so good for you for reporting it and sticking with it through the whole stupid process. OCD and patience are virtues! You're the best.
Love ya - P
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I just found the funniest and BEST video ever. It came in my daily e-mail from Upworthy.com. I don't always watch these but this one is hilarious plus it's concise. Be warned - it's about sex but informative instead of lurid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=yBfYtEy1Ovo
p (still laughing)
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Philly it's always something. Lots of stuff on the internet. But on the internet found this link to one on BCO from 2010. The thread went into oblivion, but I'll add my post and ressurrect it and see what happens. This is going to take quite a bit of detective work, b/c the catherters have a coating. So It could be the coating, it could be a component in the catheter called iso--something.
BUT WHATS immediately interesting is Pamcakes connection with the bra she bought post op breast surgery.
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Oh so Philly! YOU said SASS was a troublemaker? What's THIS? The pot calling the kettle...I mean the pot and the tea-pot... or the black skillet..... never mind....
Big Alice.... that's right! How's she doin? I know you were scared to death of her.... You have Tatoo's TOO? So do you watch "Bad Ink?" on TV? Actually I don't have any, but my one Daughter makes up for all of us.... she was a little rebel.... when she was little.... She smoked weed..... well, so did both or our Daughter's, but we have ALL outgrown that now. Now we ALL smoke weed! Ha, ha! (Just kidding.... but we could if we wanted to I guess... You know how loose Colorado is now!)
Guess I had better get busy doing something....
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