INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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Dutchy, I think b/c they can issue an arrest warrant if their in arrears after x amount of time. That's how DBF found out that a child support case decree was issued. An Order of Income Deduction is issued after CSE requests it if someone is in arrears. He was stopped for a traffic violation. Arrested. Old boss paid the arrears to get him out. He paid b/c he was the money maker for the company.
From then on the boss would routinely take out and hold the money. He wouldn't send the money to the Disbursement agency. He was arrested one more time for same reason. Ex would say she wasn't getting the support check. Boss would swear he sent it. DBF would get arrested then boss would pay what he already had been holding. DBF was naive and thought boss was a nice guy.
I asked why he couldn't tell from his pay stub. The company didn't issue pay stubs. I looked at the law. Not all states require pay stubs. Only issuing of W2's.
DBF always thought it was the disbursement agency not sending the money. I read the law. The law said the money had to be recorded within 24 hours of receiving. Therefore, the boss wasn't sending the money. After that he confronted the boss. The boss started sending the money more regularly.
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All this money talk. Sounds like my sister with her children and grandchildren but this is sadder because one son bullied her out of most of what she had and now her grandchildren try to get money from her. She has her State and that's all. I know she is still paying off debts incurred by son while he and his children were living with her. It makes me so cross because she now lives here and has nowhere else to go. Basically DH and I are subsidising her no hoper family.
Oh well I can't throw her out - she is 12 years older than me.
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hole-ee-crap, Batman, I can't keep up with all of you.............
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Omg, sas, what a mess. How does wind up paying support for grown children?
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Sassy-I understand why you are doing it, but please stop beating yourself up. If he is okay with this...and I think that is what I read....then even more reason to stop. ((hugs))Blueberry-welcome! I'm in the Dallas area too...only we just barely missed all of this crazy stuff. I hope ya'll are okay, not sure exactly where you are. What about Luvmygoats...she's in the area too. Are you okay?
Does anyone know...can TAC cause hot flashes?
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Tang - chemo can stop your ovaries from working so you can basically be being pushed into menopause so it seems that could certainly cause hot flashes. It's common too to get hot flushes (mostly to the face/chest) during the infusions - but those are usually really short.
I hope you're feeling a little better.
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hope all my Dallas area friends got through the storms ok. We were fortunate in my area, no large hail.
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Sas have him think about being his own corporation. My DH was self employed for the past 30 years her. Our accountant incorporated him. It's a hassle at tax time, but if the business owns the work vehicle, I don't think DCF can get it. And put business only insurance on it. I never, ever drove his truck. Wasn't an employee. Ask DS, or a CPA.
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Bluberry buckle. Anybody have a recipe? It's u pick blueberry time here.
When DD was a baby I'd buy the Gerber blueberry buckle for ME
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Chevy - I forgot, but my dad used to get a horrible pain in his heel - it would be really bad for two or three days and then go away. If I remember right, it had something to do with a tendon sort of 'cramping'.
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All fine here, the storm didn't blow us away, yay.
I have to have surgery in the morning. It turns out, skin dies when there's not enough oxygen. Does anyone know what a debridement is? I just learned about the surgery this morning and my brain stopped, so I didn't ask any questions.
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But the registration person from the hospital called with lots of questions. She asked about surgeries, so she totally knew about the bmx, and her very next question was if I am lactating. I don't think she was paying very close attention.
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blueberry-haha...seriously?? wow, lactating sheesh.I had a debridement after my bmx. The skin around my left TE was opening up and they went in and cleaned it up and closed it up again. Mine was just a day surgery...yours?
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Blueberry, They just get rid of the dead stuff so the good stuff can heal.
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Aly, what about bankruptcy for sister?
Dutchy, b/c DBF was oblivious to find a solution.
He stated he tried to get answers over the years by going to CSE & Clerk of Courts. Department of Revenue(DOR) is only in the state capital--refers to everyone else. I didn't believe that all this could be happening. I went with him to the local places. I believe they have all taken classes or seminars in "How Not to resolve a customers problem by saying another agency was responsible" I was aghast at the ineptitude. I called DOR-received permission by DBF on phone that I could ask questions re:case ---Was referred to local agencies.
I did finally, one day in early Feb got a Clerk of courts gal say---"OH no problem all we have to do is this". She got it done. That's when it appeared within a short time that child support stopped and all he owed was arrearage after that 28.00 per week was the designated amount that he owed. If I had stopped doing anything after it appeared on the CSE record. It would have remained as such.
I pointed out the sequence of things to the lawyer. Had it all copied with notations. If he had been up to snuff, he could have warned us that the amount could change. The judge could do what ever he wanted. The risk was the amount may be change as to arrearage payment.
A red flag went up when in hallway conversation that DBF could not get a passport. Lawyer asked why? A"Family Law" lawyer should have known this. It's in the Statuatory law. It's in the Regulatory law posted in the Clerk of Courts and CSE offices. So, why does a "Family law " lawyer ask why he can't get a passport?
Had DBF just not walked into the judges chambers. It would have been listed as a "no show" case cancelled. No change would have been made. But I had already hired the Lawyer in Dec. SO, much learned in 24 hours. All one day to late. Not even a day late. I realized the damage and why within minutes of the lawyer and DBF telling me the judges ruling.
4000.00 down the drain. Increase in payments. AND as DS pointed out last spring. Once the decree is made the law doesn't care what the circumstances were. Appeal---one chance. He received a letter that says he can have an Administrative Review of the total record, but the response had to be by April 4th. Tomorrow. I asked him to go to CSE today. He did, but they were packed. He had "work to do".
One of the notations, I had made on the CSE record was. "termination of last child support -reached 18 on 8/24/2013, arrearage now 28/per week". My note said---The key word was "Last". That meant there was another(s). I had the complete CSE record. The law requires a three year review. It wasn't done(forget how many times) BUT no review had been done since 2008. One of the policies of the review is that they validate the appropriateness of age and end of support.. There is no documentation of how many children were covered by the decree, or ages. But "Last" seemed to be a key to question that the reduction in support had a review identified that a covered child should now be terminated at "18 or graduation from Highschool". The law states this.
That's why I figured he should get some arrearages reduced by the application of the Florida Statute that defines how much money is allotted for each total number of children. If the judge took that into consideration, the applicable statutory law would have defined the amount. From the day forward of the sons 18th B-day(12 years ago), it should have been noted in the CSE record. Adjustments should have been made. I asked the lawyer to ask for an "Admistrative Review" by CSE. He didn't
Since I wasn't in the room to present this, and the lawyer was a schmuck. I think nothing got presented. DBF is a good guy, but doesn't present this stuff well or understand it. The lawyer was a worst choice ever. He was asking details in court hallway that were discussed several times, but he never remembered. He pulled out a legal pad that had no notes what so ever Plus, he came to court without the proving documents 1. divorces decree(provided@ first mtg) 2. child support decree (provided @ first mtg) 3.proof that DBF had ever been served re: child support (legal record of serving is maintained in the system).
I thought if things were presented in a logical sequence based on the notes I made b/c by that time I had figured out that the "Family Law" lawyer wasn't working in DBF fiduiciary interest. So, I did his work.
If the judge had payed attention to any details. or any agency had answered and acted on DBF's questions to stopping support for a child--son--reaching 18. He wouldn't have such great arrearges , b/c that support would have been stopped and applied to arrearages. Instead he has been paying for a child---adult for 12 years.
May be that further explains why I thought justice hadn't been done. It was wrong in the beginning b/c there was no record that he was served re:support issue as per law required. She wasn't recognized by law as the custodial parent, but since DBF didn't appear in court---no objection was made. and apparently the judge didn't read the document.. It wasn't managed by CSE according to Regulatory law that is established by Statuatory law.
I read all their laws Statuatory and Regulatory(defined in Statuatory law). I was so friggen sure that the law would follow the law. AW shucks, I was wrong.
I know to some that this outrageously long, but I'm getting into fighting mode. Cervantes, not servantes. But sitting here writing this causes me to think through the process that led me to believe the LAW would prevail.
What this allows me is effectively a place to work out my thoughts. BCO main frame forgets nothing and has access to everything(take note of what I just said--even PM's)
OH shucks and tomorrow is Friday---may be the guys can finish the bathroom out of commission since Jan. 7th- 2013- Not thier fault-------so many problems not worth a thought. Except Phylly and Spookie are going to visit.
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OMG I patched up a big problem about work today--no it wasn't my fault--but somehow my brain fixed it all up so everyone was happy. Then I come here to a bigger looney bin and don't know WTF anybody is talking about and I don't know what a debridement is I tought it had something to do with horses and now we have a blueberry in the house-BTW
Welcome Blueberry.Ziggy is telling us what Sas said and I don't understand Ziggy--confusion and Sas is spending a fortune on who know what--Once a court has been called it's pretty much decided the lawyer should have told u that but then u wouldn't have paid him. That I understood.The winds are blowing people all over the place, Chevy's DH doesn't know what he has on his foot and yet they gave him meds. And on top of that I had a can of lousy Cambell's chicken noodle soup (condensed) blah
And blueberry Buckle is Gerbers baby Food that even when my kids got older still like it. Mine was the simplest of all.
OK my brain needs to rest now --to much in a few hrs.
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Blue berry,here's the link. It was someoneelse thread, but i did allot of advising on wound care stuff-----you may find something that applies---hope so, sassy
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Oh Cami-----love when you wake up---or post. God Bless you. You always either unscramble things, or scramble things. Either way it brings JOY to my heart L&H&P's sassy
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Blueberry , I worked allot on a thread re; wounds I'll link.
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Duplicate post
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OMG that incedibly long post that I may be able to use as an appeal. apparently I forgot to hit submit. OMG---
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O.K. Cami - I took the WHOLE Melatonin tablet last night - it must have helped - I slept til noon today. Only problem is, I went to bed at 11 pm Wednesday night.
So I took another 3 mg tablet at 9 tonight, hoping I can reset my internal clock.... that is, if I can keep off the iPad and actually turn off the light and go to sleep like I'm supposed to!
Good Night, all my little Owlettes!!!
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Such beautiful owls and imagery does anyone remember to repost at the same time to the warm and fuzzy thread-----------sounds redundant ---it's not just a storage place for us----but a places for out sisters that are declining. We can by our imagery and jokes of short words, make a place that all they have to do is look, or read short statements Allow them some fun. Please do this.
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Sas - your woundound thread was incredibly helpful, thank you. I'm not sure if I have an infection or not. PS put me on an antibiotic, but acted like this was no big deal. Maybe he was faking. I'm a little scared. I have a low grade temp, but having been fooling myself into thinking I might be coming down with something. Oh dear.
Tang and Wren - it is day surgery and your experiences are comforting.
Cami - if debridement has anything to do with horses, I'm going to be in for a big surprise tomorrow.
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Blueberry---good on wound care. and recognition
- It's amazing the feeling that words can help some one else. Almost to the bottom of another bottle of wine
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sass, you should go to bed and quit beating yourself up. It's done, and apparently can't be changed. dBF let this sit for way too long and you were only trying to help. If he's not that upset then you need to let it go. Don't imagine it's helping you deal with your health issues. Cami and Chevy- you tell her. Enough already. It's nice that you have helped him out in a lot of other ways.
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Blueberry----be pushy, and irrriatating , send in the word to the doc . You've read the thread ---you know how to evaluate changes----don't hesitate to demand a doc surgicial site review---PS's nurse have enough knowledge that if the doc is in sx that day. They can see you and convey there assessment to the doc.
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DAGNABIT Sassy -you went and started this new thread and now most of my favorite hoollies are posting here and not "there." You little fartface* you!!
* Fartface is a term of endearment in the shell shine lexicon.
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Oh Smarrrty- you are so right.. But I've worked so long in so many areas. I know when something isn't right. I described to someone the other nigh, that I have had the longest resident training of any doc. It's absolutely rare to have my experience background.
Not boasting, but it;s true. One thing led to another b/c i was a sponge for learning and growing. It happened. Plus, relocation changes due to DH. Seek a new job, except new responsibilities.
LOL I'm rare.... docs were in fear of my approach, b/c I came prepared. The well prepard docs weren't threatened. The unprepared were nervous. Either way I got a solution
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Shells I left STFU b/c every word I wrote was negated and trummeled. I loved you all, but decided in my own best interest it was time to leave. I didn't announce that I was leaving b/.c I felt that would be hurtful to the thread. We had gone through that once before.by another person that did an explosive exit.
Shane Oak who started the thread on the other hand posts very infrequently It was a joy to see her post.
MY absence was seen, differently. I only weeks later found out I caused what was described as a problem. I left without a word.
I was the focus of a leaving long after an attack--not deserved, not warranted, awful, and few or none came to my defense. Everyone was blown away at the attack.
So. On IT it is a safe haven protected by the MODS. If you look at the topic box I wrote Just that "This is a safe haven. No nastiness, bullying, or such allowed. I would like to keep the kind fabric of this thread intact."
Members post where they are happy , comfortable, loved-----they have a need, the need is met by the people on the threads they chose to post on. If a member chooses to post on a thread that is their choice.
Shells, I took no one away, their choice was/is their own. L&H&P's sassy
BTW I started the thread in April 2011 Which amazes me b/c I needed it 2 years earlier.
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