Any 40-ish survivors?
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Hieee!!!
I was diagnosed at 34 stage one with 2 girls (7 and 11 at the time) and a wonderful husband (we even had sex when my drains were still in!) I understand how hard it is going to support groups and getting hard stares from other members like 'why is she here?'
Fast forward 10 years and I am now stage four and have two wonderful girls (17 and 21!) and still married to my wonderful high school sweetheart and still don't know where to fit in. Hoping to find it.
Love, Lisa
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Hi friends! Just popping on to say hello. I read the previous page too long ago. I think there was someone new...HI! And hi LIsa! I've got to go back and re-read. Sorry. Been a long day...hubby got the snip snip today so he's playing patient this time. Lisa, it's awesome to hear that you two are still hot for each other through all this. You GO!
My boy's little. Jack is just 5. (I didn't have a high school sweetheart, so I had to wait until I was 30 to meet my man! lol!) Anyway, there's an awesome group here. I hope you stick around.
I went to an in person support group for the first time last week. I don't know. Everyone was much older and it seemed like they were all past treatment, but annoyed by LE...for a minute I really thought I was at a lymphedema meeting. They were all very nice, but I'm not sure it's a good spot for me. I found myself wishing you girls were all there!
G'nite friends!
Cris
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And Lisa...I'm sorry about your Stage IV recurrence. We're here for you!
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Oh Lisa... fellow NJ gal... you fit in right here... I am sorry for your 10 year journey. It must be particularly difficult getting a stage I diagnosis and progress to stage IV. Have you been "in treatment" for 10 years, or did you have a hiatus and a reoccurrance? You were very young at diagnosis, and I have heard too many times that young women aren't taken seriously when they complain of a lump or have a problem. Of course as the parent of a 19 year old, it worries me how she will be treated if she asks for a mammogram at 30 or asks for a test. I woud like to think with a parent with BC she will get what she needs.
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Welcome blueyez and lisalock, this is a wonderful group. Wish we all did not have to be here, but thankful for the wonderful support and laughter. Hope everyone's new year is starting off good.
We have started family counseling. We knew my younger son (17) had issues since my dx over a year ago, but through last year he kept his grades up (which is suppose to be sign of problems), so we thought we were managing OK. Teachers and his friends' parents all said he seemed 'normal'. But things really started going downhill with him this last fall (grades down, no motivation, lying, pot, drinking, etc...) We know part of this is teenage stuff, but we really think it was a cry for help and were struggling on how to help him.
We probably made some mistakes in how to deal with things, but we did what we thought was best for all of us. He didn't want to go to counseling, so my DH and I went without him. Slowly things have improved, his grades came back up, and he is getting motivated again for the thought of college (although hoping his lower grades won't damage his prospects). Still having trust issues. The really good news is he has agreed to come with us to counseling. So we are praying that we are on the correct path with him.
Just wanted to share this because for those of us who are or have finished up with active treatments, it is not uncommon for our kids to show signs of the stress at this point in our journey, when we think we are 'moving on'.
Edited to fix some typos, although I am sure there are more.
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ProudMom_Wife - Thank you for sharing as I have kids around that age as well. Saying prayers for you son and your family.0
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Proud Mom_Wife, thanks for sharing that. My kids are younger (8 and almost 12), but I do worry about the almost 12 year old girl as she seems to be entering the teenage moody stage already and its hard to know what (if anything) is related to my two dx and what is just normal behavior. Sigh... As with you, we are watching her grades, which have always been very good and all her teachers know to watch for behavior changes, but since she just started middle school, they don't know her as well or see her as often...
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My son is just five, but after Christmas he said, "Mom, Christmas was the most awesome day ever." Yes, Jack, I thought so too. It was so much fun. "And Mom, if you weren't there on Christmas, it would be the worst day ever." Why wouldn't I be there, Jack? "Y'know, if you were sick or something." SIGH.
No matter how hard we try to keep the tough stuff from them, they hear, they know, they are experiencing this too. I hope that because he is so young this all becomes a blurry, distant memory, but I also think that my son will be a more loving, compassionate, and tender man because he helped and supported me and watched my husband help and support me through this tough time.
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Hi Everyone,
proudmom, I'm sorry to read about the struggle you are having right now with your son. I worry about my son all the time..he is just 14, but he is my only child and i have worried about all kinds of things with him. I think any of us here with children understand what you are feeling right now. I will be saying a little prayer too and I just know you will find your way through this.
Hi blueeyez and Lisa....I think you will enjoy the group here. Lisa...so sorry to read about your second go of this.....you were so young at DX. Makes me start that question thing in my head about checking us women AT 40??? It has been such a crazy year and a half....for so many of us getting our mamos and doing all the right things...I really hope a new way of testing or something will help catch this BC ...it seems to be so sneaky for some of us.
I wanted to share a funny story ( seems to make me feel better to make fun of myself ) ....remember the Zumba DVD's??? They arrived and this morning I was trying to watch first...you know ..to get the hang of it..well..had not had breakfast yet so..watched my Zumba fitness while eating an apple fritter from a wonderful bakery just down the road from us...I think this might be a long haul for me Lol... anyway I did put the RIPPED DVD in and it is so funny ...I am going one way and moving the wrong body part...I just had to laugh...I will not be doing a class in public any time soon!! Lol
I hope you all are having a good weekend
Kim
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LOL. I would excel at Zumba if it entailed just watching the videos while eating a pastry! LMAO.
Does your set have the dance party DVD - or something like that? That is the only one I have tried. I could not do it all the way through at first and so the first week or so I stopped after about 30-40 minutes. Although I still looked absurd, I felt like I was finally getting the hang of it and move on up to the full video. That is when they introduce this super skinny brazilian (I think) celebrity (I guess) who made me feel like a dumbass again. I swear to this day I cannot comprehend how she moved her hips like that. My God.
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Lisa....Thank you...you made me laugh so hard...yes,mine is just as you describe...maybe I will try that one. I do know what you mean my "booty" as they say just doesnt shake like that ( well not in a good way!!)
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Yeah, I like the idea of you watching a fitness dvd ( I still want to write video!) while stuffing in a nice fried snack, Kim! Zumba is very popular here too, but I haven't done any fitness classes, apart from yoga, since the 80s. Can't see me joining up at the mo. I'm sure you'd get the hang of it eventually.
My son has just turned 13 and I am nothing but an embarrassment to him in every way possible! Of course, I play this up and tease him constantly. In some ways, his autism stops him from worrying about things that other kids his age would think about - if everything is OK in his little world and he has the toys and things he wants, he often doesn't appear to be bothered by the wider significance of things. For ex, I have a CT scan tomorrow, but he hasn't asked about it, I just told him the Nanna will be at home when his school taxi comes home and that she will pop a pizza in the oven for him as we are out. I just want to keep normality for him, whatever happens, and I am very lucky to have a supportively family around. Sorry to go on...!
Welcome to Lisa - we do have some laughs on here! So sorry to hear about your recent Stage 4 dx - that is sickening after 10 years. I had a Stage3/4 recurrance after 2 years in 2010. I'll be 44 at the end of this month. Feel free to say what you want here - we are a great group !!
January is such a miserable month - anyone got any trips etc planned?
Love to all, Sarah x
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Sarah...Good to see you. Yes, I'm very good at stuffing pastry in my mouth,but struck me funny as I watched these girls shakin and well gyrating... really ..that they probably never eat pastry and that would just be a sad day for me!! Did you receive your bike yet? As for your son being embarrassed ...I think that comes with his age...I remember mine being so funny about me acting silly in public and so on. He would be truly mortified if I danced !! Are you having a yearly scan? Hope you are feeling ok?
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Hi to all!
Sarah, I will be thinking of you and your scan tomorrow. You are lucky to have supportive family around and they are so lucky to have YOU.
Kmur, I have not been brave enough to do a Zumba class. I know I would never do it by myself at home, I am not that motivated. I do think I could manage to watch and eat snacks though.
I have been eating junk all weekend (feel premenstral, but with hot flashes). I am going to try and cook a healthy dinner tonight.
Went to PS on friday. He thought everything looked good with nips, tats, etc. He did tell me he could fat graft again under my axillary area, when ever I am ready. I am almost thinking about adding a minitummy tuck while I am there, only concern would be wasting perfectly good fat and tissue that I might need if the implants every need to come out.
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Sarah, Christine said this just right...but you are very lucky to have support from family and they are lucky to have you. I always miss some part of what I would like to say.
Christine .. I have not been too bad ( well aside from the apple fritter thing) BTW...they are soooo good...they are like a fat light donut with little pieces of apple inside...they are evil because they sit in the kitchen in their little bag calling to me!! I'm so glad you are happy with your results. I may do more fat grafting down the road...I will see her in Feb.
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apples are good for you!! I am of the belief that if your are going to be bad, it should be so worth it. Sound like the apple fritters are worth it.
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See ....I believe this too...apples are very very good
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You gals are killing me. I started out this free 10 week program at the gym next to the hospital where I'm doing Herceptin. It's only 2xs a week, so I've only gone twice, and I have to miss Tuesday to go see my PS. AND...I gave up candy and alcohol as of Jan 1. I swear I've gained 10 lbs. I haven't checked my weight, but my tummy looks bigger. Could it be the Tamoxifin? Tell me I won't be like this for the next 5 years. I'm SO bad at dieting. I am just incapable of it. ugh
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Proof...I don't know about tamox...I am on Fareston and I have gained weight on it. I think it may be fluid in my tissues ...I really see it in my upper legs. ( well I tell myself it is fluid ) I really do think my ability to burn calories has changed.
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Could be fluid. Or it could be your "sit and eat pastries" take on Zumba.
Sorry, could not resists. This all reminds me of story. Several years ago my sister and I were at a mexican restaurant. As she is shoving a chip full of cheese dip down her throat she says, in all seriousness, "So, I am starting nutrisystem tomorrow." We both paused and then busted out laughing.
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Lisa too funny...I am really really good at doing bowflex and then having this discussion with myself ..." today you exercised so it IS ok to have icecream..".and yes I also think it could be pastries or the many Christmas treats .... Your stories are so funny everytime you say OK ...Random story....or something like that..I always perk up knowing it will strike me funny
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PS....you saved me ....I was sitting here enjoying a cup of coffee and thought a little piece of pumpkin bread would be good ....I will not eat that pumpkin bread!! Lol I bet the Zumba girls don't eat pumpkin bread either...I don't like those Zumba girls very much
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Kim - eat that pumpkin bread!! I am not lecturing. Just laughing at the irony of the situation. I ate half a tub of ice cream today, so who am I to talk.
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I am only joking with you....I do have it sitting next to me though..but I thought your take was so very funny ( and kind of true too....Lol )
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You girls make me laugh.....I love the story of your sister Lisa, sounds like me the other day as when my foot Doctor told me that lack of exercise is not what is making me gain weight it is that i have to diet, so I go home and am literally pissed and I chow down some Ben and Jerrys.....where did that get me?
Kim sounds like something I would do as I love to watch the Biggest Loser and I always tell everyone that I am the biggest loser as who eats junk while watching something so motivating???? LOL
Profbee I am on Tamox and was afraid of the weight I might gain so I started walking and putting me first and lost 20lbs in about 6 months and kept it off as I love to walk but in the last 3-4 months I have suffered from Planter Fasciitis and my walking has gone downhill big time and the weight has been creeping back on and I wonder is it the Tamox or lack of exercise? I have always heard that the little white pill is a weight gainer.....so hoping that my foot will actually heal as I try to lose weight some other way without doing anything weight bearing.....too cold for bike riding here and I don't have the time to go to a gym and workout. So frustrating.
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Hello all- Iam 47 and was, dx in Nov/2011. I have 2 grown sons and a 12 yr old son at home. I am married to a wonderful man. I work full time, I'am a nurse, help take care of my elderly mother and had a very busy life befor BC through a wrench into the works. Its still busy but now it's crazy to. I have been looking for a place to belong and was hopping I could join you girls.
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Welcome, Janie. Sorry you have to be here. Damn, that does sound like you have a lot going on. Have you started chemo? Are you going to take a leave at all, or are you planning to work through? I'm sadly missing a wedding in Berea, Kentucky next weekend. Are you near there?
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June.. I know I have to be more aware now of the food I eat...well aside from the pastry now and then......In my case I have no more estrogen...I do not have cycles anymore and I think my body is changing in this way too...kind of like a little old lady I am ...even the back acting up again a little.
I am sorry to be hogging the page..I need to watch that. I am just sitting here having coffee-watching football with DH....but I did want to say
welcome to Janie,..the girls here are very funny just when you need a laugh and very supportive when you need an ear. I am 45. I have completed BMX,chemo,rads,switch out,fat grafting and nipple surgery so far...some girls here are ahead of this and some not quite done yet.
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Hi Ladies!!! I have been following this threat for months and you have made me feel in so many ways that I am not alone. I am 44 years old and you can see my journey with my signature. I have been depressed since I ended chemo... Right after my MO said, you have been doing everything that you can do to be healthy... See, I have been really proactive with me treatment, but suddenly I felt powerless. She said "you can keep worrying everyday or move on with your life". Well, for the last year my life has been to get healthy and positive every day... I know it sounds crazy, but eventhough I still have rads, reconstuction, etc. I aked myself "what life"... I can't explain exactly the feeling...I am having a low moment that has last 1 month
I have taken effexor for the las 6 months, but somehow is not working, so I will begin counseling this month. I am also looking for a support group, but it is hard to find one with people of our age... Kind of tired of every other doctor saying, "well, if you were 5 years older..." Well, I am not!!! Lisalock: Women like you are my inspiration to move on!0 -
June... I know I replied to your Plantar Fasciitis on the Tamoxifen page... And I totally understand your frustration with exercise and the foot problems... I have found biking helps as there is no pressure on the arch/heel, plus it stretches the arch, so its double duty... Plus you could swm if you have access to a pool. With all of my surgeries this year, walking was to be a big part of recovery and my PT totally got in the way. Today, (this week) is seems to be much better, and I attribute that to good shoes, orthodics, Physical Therapy and more regular exercise that does not stress the foot.
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