Any 40-ish survivors?
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Only a few weeks since the BMX, I'm not feeling myself up, but I'm looking forward to it! LOL!! I think I'm getting my first fill since surgery on Weds. I love the hamburger buns description. That's what I feel like! Oh, and speaking of talking about nipples in public, I have often thought that my poor grandfather would have died just to hear me say "breast!" LOL!!!
My 5-year-old asked me if he could see my scars. Ummm...no. It's private. I don't want to scar him for life! But then, apparently he drew a gingerbread woman with scars on her chest at kindergarten. Sheesh.
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profbee - hysterical!
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Oh Proofbee..I thought of my little Grandmother...so many things are not mentioned to little Polish Texas grandmas....I might be able to get away with breast ,but not nipple for sure.
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Proofbee~ Could be worse, he could have been drawing a picture of a vasectomy? lol.
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Hi girls! Holy crap, I'm gone for a few days and I miss three pages of stuff. Shame on me. I'm in a total fog lately so forgive me if I don't do individual comments.
While I'm thinking about it, where in the world did Kymn go? I hope everything is ok.
For everyone with recent surgeries, I'm wishing for quick healing for each of you and pain free days. Treat yourself to something yummy!
Uh, let's see...arm and shoulder are getting worse so I got released from physical therapy, and he sent me back to the Onc. But I asked him for a copy of his report and I went to my family doc instead. I wanted to discuss only this problem with someone, instead of my Onc who I want to concentrate on cancer related stuff.
Had xrays of the shoulder, elbow and wrist-got the results today and it shows swelling in all 3. Also shows a "bone island" which is a benign cyst within a bone, but the medical assistant didn't say exactly where it was. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a sports/spine specialist to go over the xrays in more depth, and for potential nerve studies. I am seriously hoping for some answers soon-I've been taking Vicodin every day, which barely takes the edge off. That's just crazy.
I was doing some reading today that said a frozen shoulder is very common after a mastectomy. Not surprising. Wonder if that's also my problem. Honestly I would like to get an MRI-what's one more scan, right? I should be radioactive by now.
Well, gotta run-hugs to everyone :-)
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Good Morning Ladies....
Kim....I hope you can get some answers....That kind of pain is too difficult to ignore. I know on my BC side with all nodes gone...I get so tight in the cord area under my arm. I think it may aggravate the LE...I think it gets tight and the fluid just gets stuck. I know your situation is different,but I just really hope you feel better.
This am I am up at 4:30 am...between thinking about where to go to school,and going to see what I look like under my bandages....I just can't sleep. Wish you all were up and at it at 5:30 am Lol...
I am so thankful to each of you for the laughter...it is good to have that release....hope all of you are resting well and feeling good today..
Thinking of each of you ......
Kim
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Hi ladies, may I join? I just came across this thread and thought how perfect!
I'm 40, diagnosed after my very first mammogram in Feb. Had a biopsy in March, after not getting clear margins, it was recommended I get at least a uni-mx. I opted for the BMX with immediate recon (TEs). I had my surgery on June 21. Still going thru the recon process - fills every 2 to 3 weeks.
I have a wonderful DH, no children. We were trying to have children the last 2 years and then I got diagnosed - maybe it just isn't in the cards for us. But I've got two boxer dogs (Jack and Roxie) that are my cuddle buddies, so that's got to count for something
Looking forward to getting to know everyone - I've read a couple of pages and you guys had me laughing - and that's always good for the soul!
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Profbee - the gingerbread woman with scars on her chest made me sad!! This is exactly why we kept my diagnosis from my nephew. He is a worrier by nature and has a grandmother who died from BC (well actually, she died from pneumonia contracted during chemo). All he knows is that I had surgery on my arm and that there is a cool scar there now (lymphnode removal).
Lisa - welcome. I am a Lisa too. Also diagnosed at 40. Why are you giving up on kids already? I think it is possible to have kids after BC, isn't it? I know some women have hysterectomies or forced menopause, but not all do. Besides, dogs totally count.
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Hi Lisa! Thanks for the welcome. It is possible to have kids after BC but I guess my outlook on the having kids is the age factor. We had already been trying for 2 years, then this, I'm almost 41...by the time I'm done with reconstruction, I'll be close to 42. I just feel like maybe time is running out.
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Hi Everyone,
Hi Ok Lisa...Welcome and I thought I would toss in my two cents worth. I was also late having children....I thought I would be the oldest mom when my son began school..turns out I was one of the younger ones....I know several women who have had children much later and they do very well...I hope you don't mind me sharing that.
I had the follow up today and got to see the newly constructed nipples...wanted to let you all know...they really look real. I couldn't believe it. I do think I will need additional fat grafting at a later time. The PS did say she usually expects about 60% to take. I also still have some swelling so....my new boobs are in part swollen boobs that will be a bit smaller. Also nipples shrink ...did not know that,but is ok with me. I think it will be interesting to see if they go back to being cool to the touch?? I hope not....
Hope everyone is having a good day..
mom2one....hope you are healing well.
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Lisa, I was so upset by it. The gingerbread woman had scars on her chest and was crying. I have NEVER cried in front of Jack. I'm not the crying type. His pre-k teacher (who he's had for a year--going there for after kindergarten care since his k is only half day) said that it is GREAT that he feels he can express himself through art and he's sharing his feelings. ugh. I cried. I just want this to be be over for him. Oh, gotta run! WElcome, Lisa!
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profbee I know how hard that must have been but it also shows he understands your feelings! Kisses and hugs to you!
Lisa welcome.
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Thanks everyone for the welcome!
Kim - thanks for sharing that - it's exactly what I'm feeling -- that I'd be the oldest mom around. It's very true that it's more common for women to have kids later. Something for me to keep in mind after all this is recon is done.
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profbee - I know it is hard for you to see how this affects your son. It is wonderful that he can express himself through a safe avenue. Just keep giving him love and opportunities to find ways to express himself.
My 16 yr old son kept it all bottled up. When I was dx he could not look in my eyes. He could not visit me in the hospital when I had my BMX. We were so worried he was shutting down. Kept in communication with his teachers, friends' parents and coaches, anyone we could think of because we weren't sure what would happen with him keeping it bottled up. Talked about counseling.
Finally he started to come around on his own right after my last drain was removed and started to talk to his dad, his brother, and then finally me about my dx. Through it all though, he never stopped telling me he loved me and would kiss me good night every night, even if it was over the phone.
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Proudmom wi My daughter was always at my side but my son who is a freshman in college acted as your son did. I was devastated as we were always so close and talked daily. Even when he could get away for a weekend (plays college football and schedule is crazy) he would come in kiss me talk about two minutes and go to his dads. I was confused to say the least. I asked the pastor to speak with him and I finally asked him why and he said he couldn't cry in front of me so he had to stay away. He also said he was scared and frustrated because he could not fix the problem. So now he makes a point to call me every day even if its for 1 minute! I guess we all deal with issues differently!
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Profbee - OMG. It was crying too?! Now I am almost crying. That is so sad. It is surprising to me how much kids pick up on stuff that we do not realize. I am sure he is okay and it is good that he is expressing things. But really, you need to encourage less sad expressions.
When my grandmother died a few years ago, we did not really think my nephew understood it or was affected by it. He was only 3 and was not really close to her. She had emphesema (sp??) which caused a slow, gradual decline over a couple of years. She refused to go into hospice, so her last several bad months were at home with my granddad taking care of her. My nephew always loved going to their house because my granddad has a big tractor that he loved to ride. A few months after she died we were going to visit and I asked him if he was excited about going to greatpappaw's house. He said "I never want to go to that place again." I was shocked. I was not sure what the problem was but eventually figured out to ask him if it was because of greatgranny. It was. He thought my granddad hurt her which was why she was gone. I nearly lost it. He is fine now and loves hanging out with my granddad, but I was so shocked at the fact that he thought that. We all really did not think her death affected him at all.
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Welcome oki88, another Kim. Glad you found us. Do you need to have chemo? Hope the expansions are going well.
It is so sad that our children have to learn about cancer thru us. I am so glad it is me and not one of my children. Kids are alot smater than we think, even if we try to shield them from this.
Speaking of older moms, my SIL had her first baby this year at 47, and a friend had her first at 52!! You know those are some loved children.
Burley, so sorry to hear about your pain, keep going until you find an answer. We miss you when you are not checking in with us.
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I hate that Jack has to deal with this so young. He's just five. I hope he'll forget most of it and just remember that funny time when Mommy was bald. We've been honest with him, and for the most part it hasn't been too bad, but he knows he can't snuggle up on my chest and he can't twirl my hair like he used to. I often have to tell him not to pull me or to be careful of my boobies--still healing from surgery. A treat used to be letting him sleep with me, and now I can't risk it because he's a restless sleeper and could kick me in the chest. I just wish I could cave and let him snuggle me all night long.
The other day his friend up the block was coming into the house with him and he said, "Be careful of my mommy's boobies. She just had surgery." WHAT he thought his friend would be doing with my boobies I don't know! LOL!!
Most of his pictures are happy and he's such a sweet, happy boy. We brought home a Wii when we came home from surgery (it was the first time we were ever both away from him overnight...and it was 2 nights). So, he's had lots of fun lately too. Peach picking was a great day too! And, he's very proud that he's now a kindergartner and a 2-wheeler (no more training wheels!). But yes, in the middle of it all, I hate to know that his mind goes to my illness...especially heading into A/C. Throwing up in front of him was the WORST part of my last chemo. My hubby teaches at night, and I once was in the middle of getting sick and yelling out the bathroom that I wasn't throwing up...that I was okay...that I'd be right out...and he was so upset and crying. It stinks to see Mommy get sick like that. I realized how violent throwing up looks to a little kid. ugh. Hoping I can control the nausea with A/C!!!
Oki--I'm sorry. Those are tough issues to think of. I had Jack at nearly 35 after 2 miscarriages. We called our back-up plan the "Not a f-in nickel plan" where we would just spend every dime we ever made on ourselves and travel, etc. It made for some hilarious conversations with the hubby. As others have said, there are other options, but it is a lot to have to think about on top of just damned cancer. I'm sorry.
Irr--I've gone on here too long tonight, but I wanted to share that I had to bring Jack to my grandmother's funeral when he was like 3. Oy. I never thought he'd GET it all--kept him away from the wake, just brought him to the church. Oh man...he CRIED! I had to take him outside. He asked if she was hot or cold inside that box. My heart broke. He's so empathetic, which is wonderful. He only met her a couple of times--she was very old. (I was surprised when he met her that he wanted to be up in her room with her even though at that stage she was unresponsive--I thought she would have scared him.) LOTS of questions about the graveyard after that. And don't get me started on Disney movies. Every damned one of them kills off the mommy!
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Whoa, look at me! Two days in a row!
Welcome Lisa! Glad you found us :-)
Saw the sports/spine doc today...he ordered an MRI of my shoulder. He said he wants to start with one part of my arm at a time. If there is something wrong, I will most likely get steroid injections into my shoulder. Yayyy-that sounds just awesome! MRI on Tuesday, then follow up appointment with him next Friday. Asked for some pain meds, but he doesn't believe they work for long term pain. Dammit. He did give me a script for an anti-inflammatory med though.
Also went to the Gyn this morning for the "fluid in my pelvis" found on the PET scan. She wasn't worried about it at all. Ordered an ultrasound of my uterus just to check it out. What's another scan, right? Said there was thinning of the vaginal walls so gave me a low dose Estrogen cream. She said it is fine to use even though I had BC. ?? I'm going to call my Onc and make sure it's ok with him-bet it isn't. So then I'll have to call her back and see if there's anything else I can use. We seriously have sex about once every 3 weeks because it's so painful. Ugh. How in the world do old ladies do it? Wait, mental picture...ewww
I don't have any groceries in the house and I'm seriously craving french fries, so fast food for dinner it is! I haven't had any in months. Yum.
Have a terrific evening ladies!
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THERE'S our Burley! ALWAYS bringing the funny! Hi!!!
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burley: I asked my onc about the estrogen cream think it was called estrace he said absolutely no way. Anything with estrogen is off limits. Saying that I do know people who use it with er+pr+ so who knows really??? Oh and thanks now Im dying for a burger and fries lol!!!
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profbee... sweet stories... he seems like a darling boy.. Mine are 16 and 19, and I miss those young innocent days.
Burley... My CT scan showed fluid also.. My gyn is doing a D&C on me on saturday... won't be fun, but should resolve the problem since I don't get my period anymore due to chemo... Or at least I hope so.
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burley - glad doctors are working with you on your arm and pelvic area. I think you are right to double check with your Onc on the cream too. Oh, I hope I end up being one of those ladies doing it in my 90's.
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ProudMom-Wife--When we get to 90 years, we can let the old men in the nursing home massage our implants.
Betsy, sorry to hear about your upcoming procedure, seems like you just can't get a break. Are you back to work yet?
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Christine... back to work Sept 26... taking it easythat week, and then will go regular hours the following week...
My husband's dad died today... been a bad few weeks.
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I'm so sorry, Betsy. You truly deserve a break. Thinking of you and your family.
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Oh Betsy, I am so sorry to hear about your father in law, a bad few weeks is an understatement. I am glad you still have some time off, you need to recover in many ways. Be good to yourself. Be patient with yourself too. Things will get better, sending peaceful thoughts to you and your family.
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Hi ladies,
Bdavis, so sorry to hear about your father in law. I hope his memory is a blessing for you!
I'm sooooooooooooooooo sore, you know what? I can't type!
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Eema,
Take some ibuprofen, a warm shower and get to bed. Come back tomorrow when you feel better and can make us laugh.
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bdavis Prayers are with you tonight! Sincere condolences.
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