Any 40-ish survivors?
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Kymn,
I'm so sorry you are going through more turmoil on top of everything else right now. Please know tha twe care about you and are here if you need anything (I don't post often, but I had to respond to you).
Sending you {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} and saying prayers for you and yours right now....
Tori
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Betsy - you make me laugh and I couldn't agree more.
O2B - your interpretation of DH works for me.0 -
Well after reading all this I am going to sleep with a big smile on my face!!!
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I think the two combined do the trick? O2b's DH + FAH!
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Kymn - I am so sorry. I really don't know what kind of person does something like that. That is a horrible blow on the heels of the horrible blow of cancer. If you need to vent, feel free.
I am at home right now. Threw my back out sunday morning making up the bed. Last time I do that!!
It has not gone out for 4 years which is a record for me. It is making up for it now. I can barely move. It is slightly better today but still hurts. Ugh. Waiting for the half a bottle of advil that I just swallowed to kick in so I can try to go to work. 0 -
Kymn: Sending you hugs. I am so sorry your husband is being such a jerk. Stay strong. We are all cheering for you. You WILL get through this. Someone just gave me a bracelet that says "Life is tough.....but I am tougher!" That is you and don't ever forget it!!!
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Kymn My husband did the same thing I we have been married for 19 years. he told me he wanted a divorce when I was still taken my treatment. I did not know what I was going to do We have two girls. me and the girls had to move in with my mom and dad until I got done with my treatment. and I want you to know I am happier now then I have been in years. Don't worry about him take care of yourself. You don't need any extra stress in your life. I really believe everything happen for a reason. I know we real find someone great some day that will love us no matter what.
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What is it with the FAH men? I guess cancer really does show you the true colors of some people, although I hate that saying. I have had friends who would run to speak to me if we met in public who now just wave to me from across the room. They had the audacity to ask me "how on earth I could go through with a BMX..." and I told them it was better than dying.
You know what? Those people have no place in a healthful life! Maybe once we grow, we emit an odor that scares off those of a weaker species.
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I have only had one odd comment... when I told my bookclub about getting a BMX, one woman said, 'Why would you do that? You will have lots of scars." Ummm... what does one say to that...I was dumbstuck that she thinks scars are worse than death... Clearly she was not thinking... Or perhaps she was saying I should have radiation instead to avoid the BMX which was an option for me... I CHOSE BMX, instead of doing rads... But I had done my homework, and radiation also comes with risks and future worry etc... I just think people need to filter their words.
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Hi to All,
Eema....as usual I love your take on people. We actually did have someone tell me after learning that I had breast cancer " Oh, breast cancer is no big deal anymore....with all the treatments available...you'll be fine". Didn't know how to take that really. It sure has seemed like a big deal over the last year or however long it has been ( my brain can not add the months right now) . I do think you are right Betsy in that some people do speak without thinking....I do think most people mean well. It also seems cancer scares some to death and that may be why people shy away.
Betsy...I hope you and your family are doing well. Had been thinking of you with all that you have been dealing with as well.
Kymn....It makes me sad to read that about your marriage....and about all of you that have faced this and a broken marriage/relationship...I just really hate cancer. I hate what it takes. I hope this is all for some reason I will one day understand.
Lisa..Hope you got to enjoy the game. Hope your back is better.
Sarah....How are you doing with your lungs and that infection?
Kiwimum..I hope you got to enjoy that dinner and that Taxol SE's have lessened.
Thinking of you all,
Kim
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Yes, I agree about people's weird reactions to cancer! Last year, my sister-in-law and I organised a dinner/party for our parents-in-law's 50th Wedding Anniversary (we call them Golden Weddings here), I was in the thick of chemo, but on my week off. A couple of my OH's close relatives, who had always been nice and chatty in the past, said a tentative " hello", then avoided me like the plague. Everyone else was great. It spoiled it a bit for me tbh - why can't people just be normal! I had that too with a friend last year. True colours indeed!
Thanks, Kim, for remembering my chest probs. My cough seems a lot better now, I feel fitter but I will ring my onc.'s office again Fri. to see if they've liaised with my GP over the x-ray; they hadn't had it last Fri. I reckon if it was lung mets it would get steadily worse, but what will be will be, I suppose. Trying not to obsess on it!
Love to all,
Sarah x
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Sarah,
Glad to read you are feeling better. Knew you had been feeling poorly,but that's great that you are back to feeling good. Forgot to ask if you made it to your breast cancer group meeting too. I have been to 2 meetings so far with my group....may begin taking Tia Chi (sp?) with one of the ladies I met. It has been good so far.
Kim
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Hey Kim, I'm doing Tai chi! Well, I was before my implants moved into my armpits and took up residence. My OT is calling the PS because "the placement of my implants is impeding my ability to function." Take that, PS NP who says they are "rockin', Where I come from, rockin' tits don't live in armpits, they live on chests, where all good boobies live. I mean, a little side boob is fine, but I have a third boob growing under one armpit, and an implant firmly intrenched in the other. To top it off, a project I'm working on that is over 300 pages long is corrupted and I have to figure out WTH to do.
Thanks for listening to my ramblings, I'm going to go feel up my armpits, enjoy yourselves, ladies!0 -
Eema....I hope they get your boob placement situation under control. It is easier to deal with all this crap with a laugh here and there. I knew I didn't spell Tai chi correctly. I found out through my new breast cancer group , we can take the classes free of charge. It looks very relaxing to me ,like Yoga,kind of ?? Anyway ...I will call about it today. Good luck with your project .
Hope everyone is doing well,
Kim
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Eema... My friend has boobs in her armpits too... And that is where they have been for many years now.. I keep encouraging her to try to do something else to get it fixed, but I think she is waiting for the time they need to be replaced and may do a tissue transplant then... not sure. Did you have a one step recon? That's what she had... no TE. And I think that is her problem.
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Actually Kymn told me it was her fiancee, not that it makes it any better. Well maybe a little better since she doesn't have to go through an actual divorce right now. Eh, not really. It sucks big ones all the way around.
Eema-sorry to hear your boobs are in your arm pits. I'm sure that's very awkward and uncomfortable.
I've had so many lame comments about my cancer, I can hardly remember them. I did get the usual one "there's so many options, you'll be fine" quite a few times. Or co-workers telling customers that my hair was a wig. Nice.
One of my closest friends didn't contact me after my BMX, or the entire time I was in treatment. She just emailed me a couple of months ago and said "we need to catch up, can I have John's (DH) number because I need some work done on my car." I politely told her off, and to not contact me again. I don't need friends like that. Like "they" all say, you really find out who your friends are. And family, I might add. My mother in law who lives 20 minutes away didn't call or help in any way after the BMX or while I was going through treatment. But my brother drove 35 minutes out of his way, every single Wednesday, to bring me dinner and groceries.
Other friends from our large group of friends did/said nothing, but were very nice at get-togethers, and happy to see me. So I forgave them for their stupidity and moved forward. I think that's the key-moving forward in a positive manner no matter what someone says/said to you. Life is definitely too short to sweat the small stuff, as we all found out the hard way.
Happy Thursday evening everyone!
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Hi girls,
Interesting about different friends and family and their reactions/behavior. I honestly do not think some people get it unless they have been there. I have been pleasantly suprised by some of the kindness shown by people that I would not have expected.
Eema, you crack me up. Good boobs belong on your chest, not in your arm pits. Get back to that plastic surgeon. Hope you can recover that project.
I have been to a local cancer support group for "younger survivors", it has been so helpful, to see other people who are doing well and moving on.
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Eema -- I am cracking up at you post. "Where I come from . . . " lol.
I cannot comment on the "who reacted how" because I have managed to keep my diagnosis relatively quiet. I told a few of my closest friends. And I told my boss and two other people at work who had to know. Those who know have been very good about it. Two in particular really went beyond what was expected sending gifts, etc. and checking in after every treatment. Others did not do that much but I never thought it was out of lack of caring so much as understanding that I really did not want to be treated differently or have a big deal made out it.
I find it so hard to judge reactions to cancer. People who you think are ignoring you may just be giving you space and privacy. Or maybe they just don't know what to say and are afraid of saying the wrong thing - I would be too.
I have been curious about tai chi. One of the hospitals here offers free yoga and tai chi classes for cancer patients. I signed up during rads, but then the rads tired hit, then the rads burning, then I just forgot about it.
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The tai chi is offered free @ the JCC here, and is great! Worth WAY more than I paid! I can also take them @ local Gilda's Club and BC Coalition. I love it, for me is way easier and less...how do I say this nicely...culty than I find yoga. It was never for me, but I dig playing with my chi!
The good news is I'm seeing the PS NP tomorrow to see what she can do about my pit-tits! HA! I cracked myself up on that one! 9 am, so I don't end up in the ER on Saturday afternoon with my organic deodorant on my boobs!
Good night ladies... HA, I wrote LAIDIES first and cracked myself up again! Get it, LAID??? No? Me neither, DH is afraid to touch me! Ok! Now to bed... Thanks, I'll be here all week, dont forget to tip your waitress!0 -
Hi to all,
Eema ...good luck with your appointment today. After all you have been through...at the end...your boobs deserve to be firmly planted right out in front....right where they are supposed to be.
My group of breast cancer ladies consist of ,for the most part, much older ladies. I was really surprised. I have run into so many younger women. I guess that is good though. It seems to be a really good group and one of the ladies seems much like me in that she loves to garden so we are going to look into the Tai chi.
Tai chi should be funny for me because lately my brain does not handle many complex tasks....hopefully I can move the correct body part at the correct time...I just have this visual of me being the one to create havoc with the " Tai chiers"
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Hello ladies, may I join?
I was diagnoses at 39 and just turned 40 Sept 1, a few days after being declared NED-yeah. Finishing up big chunk of recons Oct 3rd and am 7wks PFC. So happy to be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and hair growth-another yeah.
Can't remember who all posted what, but have read them and have a few comments.
kids-I have three boys, ages 5,7 &10 and can not tell you how proud I have been of them through all of this. They of course were scared at first and asked just once if I would die. I at first sooooo wanted to protect them from everything and my first reaction was to hide as much as possible from them. Decided that if I lied to them now, they may never be able to say that Mom is always honest with them. I told them I would do everything in my power to keep from dying but that this was going to be a very difficult time in our lives and that no matter what, they would be fine, loved and taken care of. They know everything. My oldest helped with the drains, my youngest knows what TE's are and my middle is always updating me on the status of my hair, gone, regrowing, Their biggest concern was when would I lose my hair. Told them i wasn't sure, but that when it happened we'd paint my head, and so we did. Have great pics of my painted head and their painted faces.
husbands/BF/partners-I was dating a man that I thought I was in love with at the time of dx. So in love that I tried to push him away cause I didn't want him to have to go through this with me. He did everything to convince me that he loved me no matter what and wasn't going anywhere. That is until my BMX when he started acting strange, and weird. His actions made me realize that he never really loved me, he loved the "perfect" me and I'm not perfect. All the while this was going on I had a male friend who was always there for me and after dx confessed his love for me. I let go of shitty BF and gave friend a chance and am so happy to report that we have been together for 6 months and with him I have found a love that I only dreamed about. He makes me feel sexy with no hair and foobs, can't imagine going through this now with shitty man. I will always be grateful to BC for atleast that much.
Hope you are all doing well and have a great weekend.
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Kymm - sorry for what you are going through, agree FAH is a better description! Hopefully, you can laugh at little at these very funny ladies.
Crazy at work and home right now, trying to not stress too much and not give in to the feeling that I need to work late.
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survivor11 So good to hear. I had given up finding a decent guy!! All so superficial and all about looks. I guess I tend to pick pretty boys so partially my fault! Still looking for my King! One of my friends told me I have Barbie syndrome I want Ken with the nice looks or the mystery date syndrome. Anyone here remember growing up with that game???
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OK, I cant remember if I already joined in here or not!!! dixiebell....the right one will come along some day. I am married to a great man, 19 years and have 3 kids..8,12 and 15. They are why I worry about cancer!! I remember Mystery Date!!
I had a knucklehead friend (not) say to me that I was a bad mom during chemo because I would go to the beach a few hours away after every one and stay a few days. I kept my blood count and attitude high this way. My mom, sis and husband were all here those few days I left my children. I figured I was better off taking care of myself naturally then getling slpped in the hospital which is where my onc wanted me.
Who are these other people to judge? Lots of folks should just keep their mouth shut.
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Hi ladies, and welcome Survivor11 and Geewhiz.
Just checking in. It's the weekend here and we've just come home from the zoo with our children, it's a beautiful day here and nice to get out and enjoy it.
My last chemo is in four days and I'm going to drag myself over the finish line. I'm tired, tired, tired. My fingers are sore and in the last two days I've developed what looks like blisters on my face. They are quite sore, and for me being on my face makes me feel down. As if my self esteem isn't already down with no hair and one boob. I know I can do this but am feeling sick of the whole thing!
I start rads in 3 weeks and will now start searching for hair growth immediately PFC. I might have to join one of the hair threads.
Best wishes to everyone.
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KiwiMum.... we will be cheering you to the end of that finish line. You can do it!!! Your last chemo will be your Tues ( my Monday??) I got very tired at the end of Taxotere,but for me I began to feel better through rads and my hair really started growing too. I really know what you mean about being so over it all....hair...tired....it really will get better. Do take care of yourself and rest when you can. Yay for the Zoo and pretty days. It is 8:15 here on Friday night ...T. V. with my son and frozen yogurt.....
Hello survivor11 ,
I have a son,he will be 14 soon. I have been very proud of him also....he has really been a brave young man through all this. We waited to get all of our information together then sat down with him and let him know what we felt he needed to know. So hard to do . In our case we had just moved and he was trying to get used to 6th grade in a new school ( had no idea how hard that would be ....then my DX) I really worried about him,but ....he is a great kid...very proud of him.
Geewhiz....I really don't know why people do/say what they do. Someone said before about maybe a missing filter. I guess sometimes they don't think first....
Look forward to your posts,
Take care all,
Kim
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Hi Kim
Yes my last chemo will be your Monday. Enjoy your Friday night with your son. Sounds nice.
Oddly my hair has been growing while on Taxol ... but only on the sides and back. Nothing on top, I look like I have male baldness. Lol. I might buzz it again in a few weeks so it can come back in evenly, instead of the coco the clown hairdo I have now.
I'm heading outside to read a book in the sun. Maybe sunshine will make the top of my head grow.
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Dixibell-I had completely convinced myself that real love, the kind you read about or see in movies was just a myth. Had married young to a man who was and remains a friend, but not the love of my life. I had just finished that chapter in my life and was completely fine with being alone forever. Never understood the whole need for the love of a man and then smack, right upside the head and there he was. It took alot of months for him to convince me that he was real, even longer for me to convince myself that he was real. There are alot of as_holes and jerks out there for sure, but there also amazing men that would be very lucky to be with you. Your so worth waiting around for the right guy, I swear, it will happen.
Kiwimum-I'm 7wks PFC and suddenly in the last week or so, I have all this hair everywhere and I mean everywhere. It's like it just appeared overnight. Can't wait to go topless, hopefully soon. The waiting for it sucks, but once it starts it's pretty neat to get up every morning and see how much more has appeared. Congrats on that last chemo, hang in there sister you are almost there, light appearing at the end of the tunnel.
Geewhiz-BC just points out what we've all probably known all our lives, some people are just plain stupid. You can give it all the excuses in the world, but some people are just born stupid, I really believe that. No medication, therapy, conversation, education, upbringing. breeding or begging will cure it. As the comedian Ron White says, "you can't cure stupid".
Great weekend to all,
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KiwiMum... Enjoy your book in the sun. About hair....I had not shaved my head until the very end . I ran around with a scarf on my head and some hair that looked like bangs ( when covered by the scarf)....so after.... I did shave mine ....it came in as you said more evenly.
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Dawn... what an inspirational story... I have heard some unfortunate ones, as we all have, and its nice to know there are decent loving men out there who are willing to ENTER a relationship with a bald boobless woman
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