Single life after a mastectomy
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Enerva- just a conference I am attending, no presentation this time, but excited to be in this network after being away from it too long.
Ugh, Monday morning meetings. I used to go to an 8 a.m. exec meeting once upon a time with a job I had (and hated) back east. It was a forum for the exec director to talk about things, blah, blah, blah. I used to think I wanted to get up and dance on the table in my fancy suit and heels to some dance music. I ended up getting laid off from that job and should have done it my last day, LOL!
Does the org you work for do that meeting to try to make people accountable in front of others? I can see no other benefit to sharing your accomplishments and plans for the week for anything else. Or to avoid duplication of efforts (I see this all the time at my client sites, two people working on the same thing without knowing it). I am sure they will understanding you are getting grounded right now, having just returned. I know you grit your teeth every time you walk in the door there.....
About 30 min to boarding and will fly to LA, change plans and then on up to San Jose. I did not sleep well and hope to catch a nap this afternoon before the reception. I will have some work to do as well for my client too to keep things moving while I am away (I seem to the be the only one who does sometimes.....)
Have a good monday peeps.
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Jazzy - the image cracked ms up....hahaha
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ha ha ha just got home from hell lol yes the thought of dancing on the table is so funny ha ha ha if I win the lottery I will do it lol
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E - i am in the middle in terms of how to deal with the guy. at the end of the day you need to feel good about your choice. to me, i just think it's nice to have a guy friend who takes you out and have a friendship with an opposite sex. but it's tough not to fall for the guy once you spend certain amount of time together. it depends how much you like him...if not so much, you should keep going out with him.
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Hi ladies- quick story from my flight today. The man sitting next to me on the flight out to LA made conversation right as were landing and was telling me he was heading to Kona where he owns a condo. He is an attorney in the city where I live. I think he was meeting a lady over there, but felt like he was flirting with me a bit. I really don't flirt very well......
Enerva- I will dance on the table for this client too when I finally fire them. I see a big old party on the tables for us both some day. For now, it's just working for the money.
Off to my evening reception. Hope everyone had a good day.
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hi everybody how are you .fall is here every leave s flower now .Has sever migran for ĺast 2 days i came to conclusion i had cencer twice plz God i dont want to be on bed waiting for death i think heartattack or accident is the best way to die .no one is here for taking care if i m on bed plz god b kind
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jazzy - i love your sense of humor!!...interesting flight...
milky - sorry to hear you have a headache. drink lots of water to flush the toxin out. did you catch a cold....??
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ok I am finally in bed it's 11:16 pm I am super tired but worrying about many things.
But yes this is the same guy. Well bb I love to get to know this man better but the same friends that introduced me to him were the once telling me not to invest more time. Here is what my couple friends said. They told me that I am not getting any younger and that it's best to move on when it's early and I am not in love cuz las time I was in love with shawn I took over 7 years to move away from him. The problem is that if I fall in love I will try my best to make it work and if someone mind is set on having a family then in a year or two they may still want that and I am not sure I want kids now. Yes my ovaries are dry but also my brain is now ok with that in fact even if my ovaries could I would not want the kids now. I have been through too much and I don't want to worry about the future of my kids if I have some lol specially cuz I can be sure I will be around for long. Not sure if I make sense.
Anyway I made it clear to the guy I rather stop seen him. Will see what next week brings
I am stressed with family, work and my own health so no space to be worried about some one else desires for kids lol
Milky I ll text u tmw when I am done, maybe you can grab a coffee with me.
Good night
Jazz I am happy you had a good flight
Piper I love u for taking cares of those babies I admire u so much.
Big hug
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BB- the flirting thing has always evaded me. I am an intellectual career girl and sometimes I miss these things, although we really did not have enough time to talk too. I a boyfriend with a condo in Kona would be okay, right?
Enerva- I think you have had some good feedback on the pros and cons of continuing to see this man. I think the question is, what do you want? And since you have such limited time with the new work and trying to get the real estate career going, would it be fun to just casually date him if you wanted to have sometime to hang out with from time to time? Or would your time be better spent trying to meet someone who wants what you want? Follow your heart and balance it with your mind, and do what is best for you. I think you already know the answer to this one.
Reception last night was really nice. Stanford does everything first class and always nice to be among these folks. I am getting ready for a full day of speakers, food and more.
Wishing everyone a good day here.
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Milky- I forgot to say I am concerned for you that you have had a headache for over a week. Migraines can have you down for days, I know that. And I understand the fears of brain cancer, every headache leads me to the same response initially. I had an optical migraine a few weeks ago (never had this before) and immediately went to "there must be a tumor in my optic nerve." I figured out what was happening though, and it also passed.
I hope you can go get checked out by the doctor so you can get something for the migraines. It sounds like it has incapacitated you for the time being.
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bosumblues.jazzygirl.juneping thanks for listni g .yes it sounds scary getting sick again and fear and uncertinity .As Enerva told me what next situation its silly i have to think differently as compare to normal persons .
Its funny when my friends discuss about their thyroid prob or blood pressure and tells me oh you cant imagine how it feels most you are lucky you are healthy.most of my college friend doesnt know about my 2 cancers hahaha
did you guys make any plans how you gonna spend your senior yrs .i see myself in one bed condo or i dont know
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hi, we'll milky I went back to read a few pages humm migraine are the worth I am a big chicken when it comes to deal with headache. I use to crol up in bed and cry when I had a headache but I was so strong with any other sickness. I hope it are feeling better. have you thought about calling and askingvyour oncology? I have to tell you ladies I have some pain myself in the upper quadrant of my right breast where I received radiation. And I keep telling myself it's the radiation se but it worries me cuz that is where my sister got her new tumor
I am massaging every night and I ll keep an open eye on that area.Milky let me know if you need me even if it is in the middle of the night
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BB - lol...i am silly in the love dept...haha
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milky - i don't know.....after being hit by BC, i don't look forward that often anymore. 1 bed condo sounds very nice....like BB, it's much better than a box on the street.
or i'll just live in my sis' basement....
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ha ha ha the new guys name is esteve and he has not sent any more msg since Sunday, before he would send many a day lol well I do like him but I rather pass, I learn my lesson. When I man tells you honestly what he is looking for most likely it won't change, yes there could chance but I am not willing to risk it. Also btw I was thinking who does that? Who at 41 tell a date even before the date that they want kids? Also even if he meets a young woman, healthy there is a possibility of them not getting pregnant. I mean what if he can't have kids? Has he ever been test? Lol I told him from the beginning about my bc and I told him about not been able to get pregnant now, and he at first said oh it's OK it's not a big deal. Then after 5 dates he brings it up again saying he is still thinking about kids and that he is a bit confused. So I got annoyed we were close to getting to the next level and then he mentioned it and that was it. I lost interest lol I just know I like him and I am not looking for casual se x. Truth is se x can make me fall for him and get emotional invested. Not him for men it's just s ex. So I back out.I rather avoid it. Maybe he needs a week to weigh if I am worth it alone or if the kids are too important then be it. Let's see if he miss me. Lol maybe he will realize I am not kidding and once he knows he won't get a taste then he may change his mind lol but I can't date someone who is going to be looking for another wile he dates me. Forget it.
Shawn on the other hand, yes he try to see me last month I ignore his msg. It was hard cuz i still wish to be with him and with him it's totally that is not longer emotional is the body the adrenaline of been with someone who I feel so connected to. I must admit intemacy with him was always great gdi I miss it lol
So no I don't need another casual thing, if any I can always use shawn lol
Still holding my guard up.
I regret radiation but I was not given a choice now my right muscle is all weird.
Milky hope u feel better soon.
Good night
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Enerva- well, good point my dear. People who talk about serious things like that on the first date may be very anxious for a family and perhaps that is their screening criteria. To your point, there are no guarantees if you or the woman can conceive. He is just showing you who he is and what he wants. I agree he won't change. I don't hear you like him as much as the other guy you met first.
Milky- well, if I make it to old age, I would likely sell my home and use the money from that and what I have in retirement to living in some sort of senior apt/living. That could be in another 10 years or so too, as I am in my mid 50s. Beyond that, I am hoping for a quick and painless transition to the other side.
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Oh and radiation has made my breast itchy and sometimes have random pain from fat necrosis where the good tissue has died along with zapping the stray cancer cells.
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Thank you so much for all my friend I am feeling much better now I had horrible 3 days reminded me of chemo days .Enerva you gonna be fine I can understand its hard to tell your boy friend about bc and kids stuff you are brave and courageous girl that you didn't hide anything you are fair .one day you will find real man .
My Tolerance level become so low after chemotherapy I cant tolerate silly people and useless dramas I get angry easily .what is right is right .I do help others but I start to say No i have a course Promoting pro social behavior its an interesting course learning new things about human nature .i don't think i will be able to live with my kids when i get old bad circumstances, time and chemo made me so bitter which is not good but i never planned my life that way.
I have one divorce group added on my face book I saw a post some ladies are so smart and clever they have sex partner on week end No string attached no body wants commitment dedication and liability .they don't want marriage anymore hahhah.Remember we use to read stories with happy endings AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVERAFTER ,I think all they decent males are occupied .
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on the go train now going to hell for the 8 hours lol
Love you all
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Enerva- have a good day at work. The weekend is coming. Do you have another open house this weekend?
Milky- there are a lot of women I know that follow that philosophy of having a relationship with someone without marriage, living together, financial entanglement. If I meet someone, that is exactly what I will do. But for women who have been married and women who want to be married, that is possible. Cancer or no cancer, there are a lot of toads out there.
I am glad you are feeling better and past the headache. Whew!
Time to head down for coffee and pack up so I can check out before the conference begins. Long day ahead and traveling until midnight tonight. I plan to sleep on the plane.
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good luck jazz.
Milky that's how it was with me and shawn till my heart got attached to him and he still wants the no commitment love lol
That's why I say if I ever want to go back to that I just call him lol
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Bosumblues do you think there is no age to fall in love .you can fall at any age any time.
i feel we crave for love more after bc we need someone to heal the soul.we need someone to ask How are you and what do you want.after taking care of myself all alone .i really want to hear that .
at this point if partner rejects you its a horrible situation but as they say you are much stronger than you think we pick our broken pieces and its ok to cry in washroom or driving .but life is moving on .inner peace is missing.but most important thing is staying healthy to survive drive and do our normal routine work i dont do job but i can imagine its very hard to do 9 to 5 jobs with aches n pains you are all so brave n strong ladies .
Enerva.jazzygirl.bosumblue.juneping everybody stay blessed.Everything will gonna be fine .
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bb I just got to the train now, my shoulders hurt so much N my rad side is so tight N sore, I feel like stress is right on my upper back
Bb, I am glad about the brava I am not supportive on the face job at this time. I feel getting your reconstruction done ll lift your soul. I myself have to tell you I got lots of ripples again on my non rad breast but still I am much happier with the overall results. I feel when I sleep 8 or 9 hours which is almost never I get up with a nice clear face then the lack of sleep and stress creates wrinkles, in my eyes it makes me sad cuz i know I would never get a face lift that is something I don't plan on doing. I am happy you ll get brava, having your body back ll do the trick
Hope you are all ok
Sis start chemotherapy pills tmw morning
so worry about the pain she has and now chemo pills who knows what's next I am on the train and my moral is so down I had a useless day at the dump lol
Ok ll post later after I get to relax a little
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I fell behind on the conversation here, as usual. :-(
Enerva - The Xeloda is supposed to be easier on the body than the other methods of chemo. At least, that's what I'd read years ago when my father had cancer. Also, immunotherapy was around back then, too, several years ago. I begged for that treatment, too, for my father. At the time, it was a new treatment, and the doctors weren't sure about it.
Milky - I hope the headache has gone away. There seem to be viruses spreading lately that cause headaches. I was having a strange headache all week, and immediately I thought of cancer, too. Then other people without BC started telling me about their headaches.
Enerva - After fat grafting, my irradiated side looked great until the fat settled in/absorbed a bit. And I have some rippling, too. I guess that's typical.
I was happy to hear about Piper's date. Sorry to hear of everyone's troubles at work, though.
E - You're right to be up front and let guys know exactly what you're looking for. Good luck to your sister tomorrow.
BB - It's funny how things work out sometimes. Sounds like things are turning around in your favor now.
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bosumblues good advice thanks for sharing your experiences dont worry feel free to vent anytime.
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haha...jazzy, thanks for the laughs...
just went to shake shack to have a burger. yum.....work was so stressful.
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June- yes, me too today. Got home late last night from my conference, not enough sleep, and in for a high demand day today. Tried to keep my good energy mojo with me from the conference today just the same. I am tired and going to bed early.
Shake shack sounded yummy!
Milky- like that letter to self. Dear self, you are awesome, love me.
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