The Hermit Club
Comments
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Oh Jane--how sweet--I never knew wait that's probably why they are called Siamese (meaning 2) that's why if u have them they would be better with 2.. They're so pretty too.
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Thanks Camille! You are absolutely wonderful!
Bgirl- your cats sound sweet.
I have a crazy cat and a crazy Collie. The cat will lay on the middle of the kitchen table where the dog can't really get to her, and tease her horribly. The dog could really get to her if she wanted but it's their game.0 -
bgirl - I agree about the cats. With our Siamese, we got her right before we got married and we spent the next 5 years trying to get her a sibling but she rejected all new kittens and we would have to find them new homes. Of course, by the time she came back to us, she was old and didn't care. The fat boys (our cats) are brothers that we adopted as wee kittens. They are super sweet and lovey but not lap cats. They will sleep with you but not on you.
camille- that sounds like a very sweet memory of your dad. Hope your lunch works out for tomorrow.
markat - I hear you on the school stuff - I can't believe the kids who would come to school without jackets and such - I always make mine take one and tell them I don't care if they ditch it the second they go in the door, I am not gonna be that parent that doesn't send a jacket/coat. Best of luck for your interview tomorrow!!
I am back from the PS - as always, he assured me that everything I was feeling was "normal" and I got a fill - 120 ccs...it didn't really bother me at the time but everything sure is feeling tight right now.
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I ca't even imagine what u guys go thru with fills--it sounds like the skin has to get used to it tho??? Ouch
And my prayer has been said so there's an angel on u'r shoulder so relax u'll be fine.
Ok Kl--my baby (cat) sleeps on me all the time, and it's such a peaceful feeling for me, I love the feel of her fur and how she puts her arm around me. And she talk to me alot???but my grandson say he understand her so he interprets what she said. He also speaks dog, bird and giraffe, yes giraffe he did say that was the hardest. I wonder who he's like--he's as goofy as I am.
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markat good luck tomorrow
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Thanks everyone!
K- the fills can be uncomfortable after. If you can use a muscle relaxer they say that helps. Either Valium or flexiril. Once your chest muscle stretches, it should get better. I started out filled to 460 I think. Looking back I would have really nixed that. It was too much and even my BS said so. They kept all of my skin though, so I guess she figured she'd fill it out. Less traumatic looking but I would have traded slower fills for that pain.
Camille, your grandson is so cute!
I need to get to bed!0 -
Yes go to bed---U want u'r eyes to be sharp and post us asoon as u get home.
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still getting bands of rain here on and off ... say it may stop for trick or treating tonight...hope so for the little ones. Guess we shouldn't complain too much when you look at all the pictures on tv.
Not very motivating though.
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I'm back. I think it went well. I think I'm hired pending the back ground check and drug test. She said she was going to email me the information on how to complete those. I wouldn't start until December so that's actually good! My friend that referred me had already told them that I had BC so that took some of the awkwardness out of that. I feel good about it! Whew so glad that's over!!
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Still trying to decide what to do here - we used to go TOT with my bro/sil but they are just going to a movie with their kids - boring! So we will go by my parents, my aunt's, do some TOT intown and go out to eat. There are a lot of churches having fall festivals and such but we aren't really involved in one right now so we will just stick to what we usually do.
bgril - hope that rain stops for you! Weather is so tricky - worst weather year was when my oldest was 4 and youngest was a baby. It was HOT - like 80 degrees - and I had bought them both full head to toe fur/animal costumes from Kohl's that year. We ended up coming back home and having S change to her costume from the previous year because she was just dripping sweat.
camille - your grandson sounds so sweet - he's 8, right? My nephew is 8, and he is just wacky. Very funny kid.
markat - good luck today! Can't wait to hear.
Ok, ya'll I have wasted 2 solid hours on the computer - I need to get up and do something. Oh, I got an update on my rads - to recap, I saw a RO before surgery, he recommended rads but my BS wants me to get a second opinion since I had surgery and have my path now. So I am going to the same clinic - different dr - next week. The first RO I saw was brand new just out of school and very aggressive. I am in this stupid gray area of one node, under 40, blah, blah. I just want some numbers...if it doesn't give me a significant risk in recurrence, I am not going to do it. So I go next Tuesday. RO consult in the morning, another fill in the afternoon - last night wasn't too bad on the soreness...nothing near what I expected.
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K - hope you have a great time with your kids.
Markat - glad everything went well. Just have to pass that drug test now.
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Hi everyone ~ I am new to this so... here it goes
I am currently getting taxol every 2wks and I have noticed a huge difference in my mood. I am withdrawn, irritable, anxiety, I have anger (towards everyone including my kids) I am less nurturing I have lost all interest. when I receive a phone call most of the time I hit ignore and most of the time don't reply to the text either. I feel like I can't understand what people are saying and I feel that when I talk I don't make sense to myself. I don't even like myself because i am such a B****!!! Does anyone else feel this way? Is this normal? Sorry for going on and on about how I feel (but my husband doesn't want to hear about it). Thanks0 -
sarah, I think everyone has felt a lot of emotions while undergoing treatment. Please feel free to vent. That is why we come here, it is a safe place and others understand. Just keep an eye out if it persists too long. Some can be signs of depression and lots have issues with that too from meds and other treatments.
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Fellow hermits, feeling better tonight. Only slept 1/2 hr last night back problem crazy last few days. Trying to self medicate/ice. No effect. Gave in an saw my PCP this morning gave me some appropriate drugs. Yeah to drugs! Wants me to have x-rays and maybe scan, ugh we all know what that means (had this steady pain for 8 months now) I guess better safe than sorry.
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markat- YAY on the job!!!! *doing the happy dance*
kltb- let's hope you are free of rads, that would be nice
cammillegal- your grandsons sounds adorable, only one of my cats is cuddly, that is the hunter one, the indoor one is a snob but she plays fetch and knows where her bear is at all times, she will cuddle next to me when SHE feels like it , otherwise she bosses the 'hunter' around, she is not impressed with his gifts either
sarah- I get it...Taxol makes me cranky, just last week I considered waterboarding my little family...DH and 2 cats...but a nice walk took care of that
Treatment is hard, moods do fluctuate and venting is great . There is much humor in this thread which I love, hope you pop in again:)bgirl- just say 'yes'...I do
hero's need not apply...3 More Taxol and I move onto rads...sweet baby cheeses, it's a long ride for sure
Happy Halloween Hermits
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markat---I knew u'd be great (u and Tony the tiger) sounds wonderful--Ok we know thedrug test is covered--but u never told us about u't past---Hmmm will that be a problem--u'r background?
Sara we're alll here too and we welcome u, but sorry u have to be here but it's a good place to be---We've learned alot, that we are not alone in wanting to be alone--altho that is impossible but right now that's how we feel. U'r normal. but of course if this continues maaybe u'd do better with some extra meds. Yes some of us go with them now--we don't fight it like we used to. This is not a fun time--but we all gather together ad try to make the best of it and it's true so many people just do't get it and u can't explain it. And sometimes it's better not to be around a lot of people cuz we're just ot in the mood. And yet zi come on here and It's fine---u can rant, rave all u want and no one judges or put is down.We don't jidge ad this group is super nice and we have fun too. So feel comfortabble here and I am the worst typist ever so u'r not allowed to judge. LOL
I gave out candy while the other went T/T the minute they came back I came in my room, I know the kids are so cute but I saw so many costume I had enough. I gave out all the candy I don't care for and kept what I like, well of course.
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Happy Halloween to everyone!
Markat - So happy to hear the job interview went well. Keeping you in my thoughts that you get the job.
We live in a condo so don't have any TOTers which is just as well - don't get candy to be tempted by.
Started my PT for the rotator cuff surgery - not easy but the arm is moving better and hopefully the PT can relieve some of the tightness that has persisted around my rt. foob and gotten worse with the arm in a sling for 6 weeks.
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Hi Hermits! Happy Halloween.
Delilahbear, thanks for the warning on the Danskos. So sorry to hear about your incident with them. Wishing you a speedy recovery!
Markat, congrats on the job! Glad it is working out for you.
We didn't have many TOT tonight. Wonder where they all went? I used to LOVE dressing up and going on the the candy seeking treasure hunt! What...free candy??? It was so much fun! It just isn't the same anymore. Too much meaness in the world today.
bgirl, sure hope your back pain is better. I will sympathize with you. I have had back pain lately myself.
Sarah, welcome, but so sorry you have to be here. I was crazy mean during chemo...aka 'roid rage. I had steroids before each infusion. I truly believe that my "royal bitchiness" was because of the steroids! My MO agreed that they were probably to blame. He also insisted that they were necessary. Hope it gets better for you!
kltb, good luck on the rads situation.
Hi Camille *wave*
I can't join the cat conversation, but I do have one big, shaggy, loving dog I share my bed with! She is the best. When I was sick in bed from chemo she was right there with me...I called her my "chemo angel".
Again, Happy Halloween Hermits!
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K- I hope you get some answers about the rads. It's so hard second guessing. Hope you and the girls had fun tonight!
Sarah- what you're going through is completely normal. Treatment sucks and there is no happy bright lining to it. I stayed on a pretty steady dose of antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds during it. That at least allowed me to tolerate the family. I never answer the phone-still don't. I prefer text. You can always come here and talk!
Bgirl- I hate that you're in pain and have to have scans. Could it just be related to surgeries and alignment shifting? I'm going to keep you in my thoughts.
Camille- lol, well hopefully the FBI doesn't find out I'm friends with you ;p Good for you for keeping the good candy!
Delilah- Thank you! Hope PT helps you and you continue to heal!
Whaevah- thank you! This ride is way too long. I'm glad you're almost to rads- then you will almost be done.
I'm wiped out! The kids braved the 40degree weather TOT. DH took them. I sat on the porch and judged all the inappropriate costumes, grown ups TOTing for infants, and just plain TOTing themselves, lol!0 -
Good morning everyone UUGGHH--to much candy last night.
Bgirl My mind is a total fog right now.--when u r having the scan--Enen the word bothers me know, but it could be so many things. so don't worry--just think it's another test. I know.
Delilah U'r poor arm u have to almost start all over again.
And rads u guys know i don't know anything medical about any of this but having rads seemed logical to me at the time so I just did it. I don't know about long erm stuff of rads but i do know every so often i feel exactly where they were pointing on me like little koves--but I guess I would still have them--but It's a lot of radiation and who knows in the long run what they might do to us???? I think I'm talking stupid again--like I do every so often, or more than I like.
Sarah u'r in a good place here--I do know I'm not as bad as I was, butI still like to be slone alot
Oh I need coffee. TTYL
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OK better know, but I do have D--my fault this time CHOCOLATE OH I should know better.
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chocolate D - how appropriate, sorry I know it only sounds funny. Poor tummy! Damn, no wonder it is an addiction - tastes so good ... my weakness too
We had probably about 50 toters inspite of a bit of light rain. Couple of cuties. One tiny little girl pink something (looks good on her) put a box of smarties (like m&ms) in one hand could tell from her face she knew what they were so I put one in the other hand and she just looked up at me with a giant smile. Too cute. Fun to spoil other people's kids.
cami - xray to start - whenever I can get my butt there, may be a couple of days when crazy period lets me get out of house. scan after that possibly. Back problem is not from spinal injury I had as a kid. Lower in SI joint on one side. Nerve pain down both legs, one foot numb and could hardly walk yesterday. That is why I went to doctor, problem been there for months but did not want to deal with it .. sad I know. So crazy period has convinced me to go ahead with endometrial ablation as a starting point ... going to call gyn office today. Will have to work that in around my breast MRI and surgeons apt.
rads were necessity for me but I was unfortunately a person who got some SEs. All they said mostly was it would get a little pink. Glossed over the after. But in the end it really wasn't much of a choice or being brave ... just what needed to be done.
I have a couple of people in my life who understand that it isn't over, but most think so. "what you still have tests and apts .. I thought you were done" Done with what? Cured? Some times people are either uneducated or delusional I think. You think all this stuff that we have done to out bodies isn't affecting us. You banged your toe nail on the coffee table and it is falling off and it has been an 8 month saga! You think they just say "Done, have a nice life" That every pain doesn't become a sign of worry. Sorry This turned to a bit of a rant today.. Feeling like my body is betraying me today.
On a brighter note I slept more last night. Maybe it is more pain and only partly tamox's fault for insomnia. Started both about 2 weeks apart.
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Camille- sorry about the D. I have a stomach ache from too much candy. My fault too.
Bgirl- glad you got some rest. So sorry you have to deal with all of this. I agree, people just don't understand. They definetley think most are cured from BC, at least in my life they do.
I'm feeling pretty good today, despite the candy hangover. I think I'm going to clean the house. The slobs have taken over again. I think if I keep the momentum up, it will help with my energy issues. Of course, I have H again next week (lurkers, that's herceptin, not heroin). So that usually makes me tired again.
Hope everyone haves a great day.
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Markat u are always so funny I love it.
Jane whst u'r going thru I feel so bad for u--I'm glad tho that u are taking care of this with all the Drs. u have too. And u girls are so right---if u haven't been here u have no idea what it's like and it's somehow unending in different ways. U know my sister and cousin and niece have all been involved so I'm very comfortable talking with them cuz they know--but there are others that seem to think if chemo and rads are over u'r done--like a cold or something---there isn't a day thst goes by that something--pain, sickness something that doesn't reind u of cancer and all it's complications even after. LOL Now I'm in a rant too Jane. I think that's why we're so comfortable here and altho I do have a few lsted as my favorite that i always go to there are 2 favrites that really feel good in and this is definitly one of them. I feel very free here and lucky to have met u girls, And Markat u'r going to go back into life and that's a good thing for u--u'r so young and u should always feel good about u'rself cancer migt have taken alot from u (and u too jan0 u'r both open and such nice women that it can't take that from u.
Now jane keep us informed every step of the way
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sarah - welcome - not only are your feelings normal but they also can be a SE from any of the taxenes - I was on taxotere and I cried all the time the first few cycles. Also the "chemobrain" is a real thing - sometimes I would get so frustrated because I couldn't say what I wanted to say and I would get so tongue tied! How many do you have left?
Jane - UGH on the back pain...what I think it is hard for us to remember as cancer patients is that a lot of these things are normal issues we would have had anyway. Of course, you need to check it out but try not to stress too much. Back pain is a very common- and uncomfortable - problem. Especially sciatic nerve issues/down through the legs. I know what you mean about people commenting - I had an acquaintance ask me the other day "so did they get it all out, are you done?" Sigh...
whaevah - I had to laugh at the waterboarding comment. I have found that some of my pain meds make me VERY irritable - I am a high strung person anyway but some of those meds make me crazy mean!
markat - YAY on the job interview - I missed your update yesterday. Our weather was better than yours - high 50s.
Delilah - hope your PT goes well and that you can get some relief and mobility back.
FLWarrior - we don't have many TOT where we live but we are never home anyway - we go into town - the big subdivisions all have people sitting out in their driveways, handing out candy, decorated houses, etc...I think a lot of kids go to fall festivals and such at churches nowadays too. I will never forget after 9/11, my oldest was 18 months old and it was her first real year to TOT and I was just devastated because not many people were going that year. We did though!
camille - I am just now having coffee here at 10 a.m. and oh is it strong - I bought a strong roast by mistake - I have to add so much creamer, it's hardly coffee when I am done.
We had fun last night. Went to my parents - first time we've been able to TOT at their house since they moved up here this spring. Then we went into town to my aunt's - just a tradition we have had since the kids were babies. She was the only family we had in this town when we moved up here and so we stop by every year to TOT. Then we went to one of the bigger subdivisions and walked around til the kids got tired. Went to Old Chicago to eat pizza and home and in bed by 10.
I'm going to post a pic but I will probably take it down after a few days since this is a totally public forum. Just wanted you all to see our costumes. I had a witch hat so I bought a $3 wig and called myself "Blonde Witch with Ironically Long Hair" (due to the fact I have about an inch on my head!)
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Big H, Too funny! I bet we could pool everything and start our own pharmacy ladies. Or maybe a business on the side to pay bills for those unlucky enough to have no/poor insurance. Oh, I guess that might get us in trouble with FBI and since cami is already in trouble?? might not be a good idea. my sister lives in a poor/sketchy neighbourhood in downtown of a major city, says that the one drug is $10 a pill really. Has however made me very careful about mentioning to anyone what I am taking. Don't need a break in.
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Jane - I fell and sprained my arm back last winter and had posted jokingly on FB about my painkillers...had a neighbor subsquently ask me repeatedly if she could "borrow" a pill on several occasions - always a different excuse/reason. Found out from other friends/people in town that she has a prescription drug problem - yikes! I finally had to tell her to quit asking and that she needed to go to her doctor if she needed pain medication.
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K I think we were posting at the same time. Love the pic and the hair. Just pretend you are French and having cafe au lait.
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K think we did it again. Yikes is right. Guess you'd have some experience if we started that business. lol Constantly after my mom to not talk about what she is taking - don't know who is listening and she has some major drugs in the house. Finally got her to get rid of stuff from my dad's palliative care this summer - serious crap that is better back at pharmacy. Especially now that she is alone in the house.
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Fl- somehow I missed your post last night, thank you!
K- you girls looked great!
The drug thing is so sketchy. I never told anyone that I had any drugs. One of DH's friends texted him one day asking if I had any extras after my exchange surgery. Um no! This guy is a pharm rep who has already been in trouble before and had to go thru counseling services to keep his job. I feel sorry for him but I don't want to get in trouble! I was always worried about our nephew breaking in to the house to see if we have anything. He has a problem and has been thru rehab. However, what I have is probably not strong enough for real drug addicts anyway. Probably wouldn't even help them.0
