happy thanksgiving ladies!!
This isy first
One in my new home as my sister cancel her Connecticut thanksgiving this year. My BILs father (whose wife just passed away in August from secondary lukemia from the chemo); well he collapsed in seizures and is hospitalized. He has five brain lesions, and they can't find any primary cancer anywhere! But they are aggressive and fast growing and he won't be here much longer. I'm so angry. To loose both parents in 6 months! They were both healthy this time last year! I'm also heartbroken... Don and Angela were the good guys. The ones who should be here forever.
Thus thanksgiving hold those you love extra tight would you? I love you all my sisters.
Juneau - that all really sucks. Sending you big hugs! I hope you all had a lovely thanksgiving!!! My happy today was watching my boys play with their cousins. Thanksgiving is definitely a time of year where I am reminded that I am very lucky to be here enjoying life.
Yes Juneau it sucks big time. I just found out that 3 from my senior high school class passed last week from 3 different cancers. This Christmas is pretty tough for me too. Everything I do or see I am reminded that last year at this time, although we knew he was very seriously ill, the love of my life was getting around and feeling good enough to help me decorate, by gifts and transport a huge Christmas tree. Part of me wants to do everything because I know he would want me to and part of me doesn't really feel like it.
That's nice that you had Thanksgiving in your new home! This was the first time in over 40 years that I didn't have it in my home!
Take care and hope you are all getting geared up for this crazy holiday season.
I totally understand ! Cancer has struck my family again. My wonderful step-son has a recurrence of his rare cancer. Also my son who had non-Hodgkins lymphoma had his 13 year check up and Doctor found a nodule on his thyroid. So now a biopsy being scheduled. Hate cancer!!
Know that I care and am thinking of you.
What's it like to go through cancer treatment? It's something like this: one day, you're minding your own business, you open the fridge to get some breakfast, and OH MY GOD THERE'S A MOUNTAIN LION IN YOUR FRIDGE. Wait, what? How? Why is there a mountain lion in your fridge? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. RUN! THE MOUNTAIN LION WILL KILL YOU! UNLESS YOU FIND SOMETHING EVEN MORE FEROCIOUS TO KILL IT FIRST! So you take off running, and the mountain lion is right behind you. You know the only thing that can kill a mountain lion is a bear, and the only bear is on top of the mountain, so you better find that bear. You start running up the mountain in hopes of finding the bear. Your friends desperately want to help, but they are powerless against mountain lions, as mountain lions are godless killing machines. But they really want to help, so they're cheering you on and bringing you paper cups of water and orange slices as you run up the mountain and yelling at the mountain lion - "GET LOST, MOUNTAIN LION, NO ONE LIKES YOU" - and you really appreciate the support, but the mountain lion is still coming. Also, for some reason, there's someone in the crowd who's yelling "that's not really a mountain lion, it's a puma" and another person yelling "I read that mountain lions are allergic to kale, have you tried rubbing kale on it?" As you're running up the mountain, you see other people fleeing their own mountain lions. Some of the mountain lions seem comparatively wimpy - they're half grown and only have three legs or whatever, and you think to yourself - why couldn't I have gotten one of those mountain lions? But then you look over at the people who are fleeing mountain lions the size of a monster truck with huge prehistoric saber fangs, and you feel like an asshole for even thinking that - and besides, who in their right mind would want to fight a mountain lion, even a three-legged one? Finally, the person closest to you, whose job it is to take care of you - maybe a parent or sibling or best friend or, in my case, my husband - comes barging out of the woods and jumps on the mountain lion, whaling on it and screaming "GODDAMMIT MOUNTAIN LION, STOP TRYING TO EAT MY WIFE," and the mountain lion punches your husband right in the face. Now your husband (or whatever) is rolling around on the ground clutching his nose, and he's bought you some time, but you still need to get to the top of the mountain. Eventually you reach the top, finally, and the bear is there. Waiting. For both of you. You rush right up to the bear, and the bear rushes the mountain lion, but the bear has to go through you to get to the mountain lion, and in doing so, the bear TOTALLY KICKS YOUR ASS, but not before it also punches your husband in the face. And your husband is now staggering around with a black eye and bloody nose, and saying "can I get some help, I've been punched in the face by two apex predators and I think my nose is broken," and all you can say is "I'M KIND OF BUSY IN CASE YOU HADN'T NOTICED I'M FIGHTING A MOUNTAIN LION." Then, IF YOU ARE LUCKY, the bear leaps on the mountain lion and they are locked in epic battle until finally the two of them roll off a cliff edge together, and the mountain lion is dead. Maybe. You're not sure - it fell off the cliff, but mountain lions are crafty. It could come back at any moment. And all your friends come running up to you and say "that was amazing! You're so brave, we're so proud of you! You didn't die! That must be a huge relief!" Meanwhile, you blew out both your knees, you're having an asthma attack, you twisted your ankle, and also you have been mauled by a bear. And everyone says "boy, you must be excited to walk down the mountain!" And all you can think as you stagger to your feet is "fuck this mountain, I never wanted to climb it in the first place."
Caitlin Feeley - the one, the only, the
hey two fried... 😘
So they have confirmed my BILs dad has brain cancer. Fuck!!!
I'm considering going off tamoxifen. My eyes are going quickly and I have dry eye so severe now my cornea keeps Abraiding, which means tearing. And my short term memory is getting worse and worse and I just found out that's another side effect of tamoxifen. I'm 3 years out and just plain fed up. I have no history or genetic markers following a recent extended panel... I'd like to see if going off it helps my memory or eyes at all. If not, I'll go back on it. Thoughts??
juneaubugg that was a great metaphor
Juneau - thanks for sharing that - loved it!!! Sorry to hear more cancer has landed in your extended world. That sucks... as for you tamoxifen question - you know the answer... which is that only you can answer it. We all react differently to the drugs that mountain lion forces us to take. So for me - who seems to be blessed with minimal side effects so far - I think to myself, man... Juneau shouldn't go off. But... if I felt like shit I'd probably say what the hell - give it a try. Have you talked to your MO? Sending hugs!!!
Janeau you have just answered the issue with my eyes! I have been going to have eyes checked for months now as they are so dry and irritable and have every eyedrop known to man and up until 5 mins ago was beginning to think that that I would have to stop wearing my lenses! Has anyone else ever had a house pipe leak......we had a few damp patches on walls and got a leak detection company in....he detected the leak under the kitchen floor and has now informed me that 5 of the floors downstairs will have to be dug up and quite possibly kitchen pulled out:( It seems a bit excessive......I thought sand the walls, repaint and dig up one floor.:( Its going to be a messy new year. Sorry to hear that this blighted disease keeps raising its head.
Loved your metaphor. I though my neighbor was going to tell me a similar story but his was a bit different.......a man was on a horse and a lion was beside him going at the same speed and an elephant was on the other side also keeping up with him. In front of him was another horse and behind him a bunch of animals chasing him. He just didn't know how he was going to get out of this situation without getting trampled or eaten by the lion when he suddenly heard his wife yelling at him to get his drunken ass off the merry go round!
Ah yes the lovely tamoxifen. Notepads are my best friend. I take my DHs messages for work and it's like a book! As far as eyes go just had my second cataract surgery this week! Yay me
Juneau - is it possible to switch to something like Aromasin and see if it is better for you? I was switched to Aromasin after two years on Tamoxifen, I have found it to be quite a bit easier on me than the tamoxifen was although I do have the memory issues - especially with names. Sorry to hear about BIL's dad.
2fried - so good to hear from you - this will be a very difficult season for you to get through, you will be in my thoughts and prayers
Believe - sounds like a beautiful place and you are getting there re: settling in
Jojo - cute re: Merry go round
Ireland - hope the work doesn't need to be that extensive re: pipe - it always seems to be something doesn't it?
Karen - can't trust much to memory anymore glad surgery went well
I am going to try to make sure my house is decorated for Christmas this weekend and try to finish up the gifts . Life can sure get busy. We are expecting our 5th grandchild - Paisley will have a brother in April :
Juneau I'm also convinced that once I stop the tamoxifen in 2 years like you the weight will melt off and my brain cells will regrow! I asked my MO about switching but I'm not fully menopausal so they won't
Ireland from the wife of a plumber - make sure you get a second opinion. Have a drain company come in and see if it's something with your main line. Things will probably have to get pulled up to get to it but I've never heard of a kitchen getting ripped out.
I read often - seldom comment - but this is the first place I landed - when I, like so many of us, was terrified and scared to death (okay, maybe that was just me) and this was my port in the storm - with all your kind words of encouragement. Three years out certainly gives us lots to be thankful about - 2Fried - so sorry about your husband - and Juneau sorry about your family - it seems like all I hear about are other people with cancer - I hope it's like when you buy a car and you suddenly notice all the other people with the same car.
Juneau as far as getting off of our meds - it's a personal decision - we have to measure the risk and reward - there's no promise - and so we make the best choice we can - and don't you just hate it when people say it's up to you - Most irritating phrase in the English language - I like black and white - and guarantees. I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you. You can always change your mind and start up again -
Wishing you all a great holiday season - and a terrific New Year. Kris
So nice to see all of you here! It has been a good 6 months for me though I am now waiting for bone scan results and a few more appts. in January to look forward to and hopefully nothing to worry about. My cording has worsened though no sign of L/E and today I got an appt. Jan. 4 o see my BS who discharged me a long time ago but MO asked her to see me re the cording. PT has been keeping some of it at bay for a year but a new big one popped up recently as well as a small one. All in axilla and under pectoral major muscle so kind of weird this far out. Ah well, could be way worse.
Happy holidays to everyone!
happy Christmas ladies!! I'm thinking if you all today. Either still fighting the effects of this disease, or our experiences having scared us - each in one way or another - living in a new normal. I just wanted to say I love you all.
Merry Christmas! Thinking of you all and wishing you a wonderful holiday and a very happy and healthy New Year!
Merry Xmas to everyone and wishing you much health no happiness for many years to come......
I'm late to checking in here for the holidays, ours was a busy and happy one.
Wishing all a wonderful 2016.
MarianElizabeth - how were your bone scan results? Hope the cording issue gets sorted out for yo
Websister, thanks for asking. MO emailed last night and nothing sinister~~but It does show a lot of degenerative facet arthritis in the entire lumbar spine and some arthritis in the knees and shoulders. I see the bone specialist and another bone density test on Jan. 8. Also I see my BS re worsening cording on Jan. 4. I hope to move on to another good year by end of January!
Happy New Year to all my sisters.
Yes ladies, wishing all of us a happy and healthy 2016 and many more years after that......
To all, happiness and health...Make it a good one!
Adding my wishes for all for a healthy and happy 2016
MariaElizabeth - thanks for the update, glad nothing sinister. I also have facet arthritis lumbar and cervical spine and arthritis in various places. Last bone scan showed osteoporosis in left hip and lumbar spine - the gift that keeps on giving, eh! Hope all is under control soon for you so you can continue your world travels :
Happy New Year sisters! I am not sure I could've made it through the toughest time of my life without y'all, even though I've been mostly a lurker. Love to all.
Hi all, so nice to see all of you checking in and doing well Happy New Year to you all. Forgive me for my absence and intermittent posting but I am still reeling from losing my husband this summer; Having been with him for almost 40 years, doing everything together, it is really hard to find my new normal-much harder than after my own surgery and bc because he was my cheerleader and helped me find my new normal then. I have spent alot of time on the brain cancer forums as many of the spouses/caregivers I was corresponding with while my darlin was fighting are either still fighting or have also lost. their loved ones and are struggling like I am. I know you all remember the time of coming to terms with all that had happened to you then seeking out your new normal; infact I'm sure that there are some, understandably, that are still looking for it. Juneau I
Seeing posts of baby pics, Believes house sale and move, others facing illness in family as I did , or planning stages of good things puts it into perspective how fast life moves on. Truthfully for me in my mind my cancer "ended" when my husbands began Jan 2014 and I basically went for appointments when absolutely necessary to get my meds. Everything up until now has been a blur. I hadn't been able to go to my May oncs appt last last year when I was scheduled and was rescheduled for Sept. In between my cancellation and my rescheduling my onc left the practice. I was devastated just having lost my husband with having to start anew with another doctor as they continued to follow two small soft lumps they couldn't figure out on the top of my cancer side.I can tell you I didn't need that in the midst of my husbands fight and truthfully at one point I didn't even care. Well it turned out for the best as I liked my new onc even better than the other one who I loved and the new one put it together that the lumps were breakaways of fat where the PS had attempted to round out above the implant with a little lipo during all the reconstruction phase. So thank God all of that worked out-a bit of relief and light! It's nice to see that most of your tests and scares have turned out to be just that too-scares and no more.
Thank you all for your condolences and for those who have reached out through pms etc. While I thought of so many of you over the holidays how could I not think of our wonderful "Believe" with seeing believe all over the decorations at this time of year! I consider you all my friends and now add those from the brain forum as we have shared so much that others could never relate to.
Take care and I pray for good health and a happy peaceful New Year for all.
hi ladies, kind of brooding a bit. 4 yrs today since I got the biopsy results. Seems like it's either been much longer or shorter since then. All is good so far, except for arthralgia and pai s from Aromasin, and the barely any eyelashes:eyebrows. Heard that may be from Aronadin, I had them all through chemo!! Anyway, I may be retiring in June. 34 years I education, will be 61 inJuly. We will see. My HB is bicycling in New Zealand for a few weeks!! Looks pretty nice, tho I am not a cyclist.
2Fried - hugs - while I have never lost anyone as close as a husband, I did lose my father at age 14, a brother and sister in my early thirties - holidays can be very hard. Hope things are improving for you little by little and that you are taking good care of yourself
Lisa - those cancerversaries can bring back all of the emotions - sorry your DH wasn't there to help you through that grey day; I guess you weren't able to go with him due to your teaching commitment. Once you are retired that should change. How nice to look forward to that.