Maybe a dumb flat question?
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I am so pleased to hear your news too Andrea!
DP, I hope your cough has improved as the week has passed. Are you taking anything?
Gosh, reading about the Medical system over there is mind boggling. We complain about ours, but it isn't anything like, what you guys have to put up with.
I am sitting here shivering, even though the heating went on at 6.30am, nearly 2 hours ago. I am off to have a shower and get everything I need to do, out of the way early. No walk for Dex today, much to cold and wet. Take it easy M x
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Good news Andrea!
DP glad you are feeling better, hope the cough goes away soon!
(((ndgirl)))
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still coughing. Starting to really bother me. Haven't been getting much sleep because I wake up kind if coughing and feel like im suffocating, then I have to sit up to cough properly. And repeat all night long. I have to keep coughing to get deep enough to feel any satisfaction, if that makes any sense. Anyhow, I saw the BS today for a regular follow up and mentioned it. She said if it goes 2.5 weeks, then I am allowed to worry. I have a scan in a week or two, so calling the MO wouldn't do much in my opinion.
I've always considered myself a great observer of human behavior. It's part of what makes me really good at my job. I think that people and the way our minds work are fascinating. Many times it is sad and disappointing, but fascinating all the same. Tonight though it's leaving me just more on the sad side. I do not exempt myself from ever having feelings like what I'm about to mention but I think there is a line drawn between awareness of what you are feeling sometimes and the thought that everything you feel is right and just and/or the desire to be - or dillusional thought that one IS - the end all be all authority on how every other person should think or feel. Geez, the preamble alone is exhausting. If anyone is still following, I'm finding it such a sad commentary on human behavior this week that we as people base so much of our own feelings of happiness and well being on other peoples' sense of happiness and well being. It's a universal thing of course, someone will always be skinnier, prettier, wealthier, smarter, or whatever than you. You in turn will be more of all those things than someone else. This will inevitibly make everyone feel self conscious, jealous, self loathing, or whatever other emotion at some time. Normal human emotions. A lot of people say cancer makes them better people. I am first to roll my eyes at these people. However, in this example (which by the way is only an example and not what has set me off), what the hell difference does it make to me, in my life, what someone else thinks makes them a better person or how they deal with their illness? I am a sarcastic, negative bitch most of the time but at the end of the day I know that however someone else finds peace and happiness for themselves, no matter how silly I might think it is, IT DOES NOT EFFECT ME finding my own peace and happiness. And if I were to dwell on how stupid or deluded someone else's happiness is, that would only perpetuate my own unhappiness. I admit that I have not found my peace yet, but damned if I would chastise anyone who has out of spite. So why do we have to do that? As long as you aren't hurting anyone else, you can paint yourself purple and dance naked down the street calling yourself the queen of England, for all I care, if that is what makes you happy. Why will there be 20 ladies waiting for you on the corner to tell you all the reasons why that shouldn't make you happy? Because that is not what makes them happy of course, so you must be wrong. That totally took a left turn, but my point is, if you're still with me here, that it makes me sad when women brought together with the same disease, the same terminal f&@king disease, have to pound their chests, ridicule and stir up drama, because someone else handles their disease differently. Or has a different view on life in general, or likes a different movie or style of clothing, just name something possible to be different, and there is your target.
Ok random, disjointed rant that likely makes no sense, over. I'm out.
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Hey Sheila, sorry about the shitful cough. I imagine it is exhausting, sounds a bit like what I get from Asthma, that suffocating feeling and no matter how hard you cough, it doesn't seem to be in the right spot.
I get you! M x
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Hey DP! Can't you go see your regular doc about your cough? Maybe you need antibiotics or a mucus thinner plus a cough suppressant. I hate to think how miserable the next few weeks will be. At least something so you can sleep.
Lots of fatigue today. Missed my vit d dose on Friday so took it today. Hopefully that's all it is. Want to go back to the beach. Supposed to be beautiful tomorrow.
As far as your rant, I get it. Stage IV was upset over something too. Not sure who or what. Too tired to figure it out.
Got boy a bike today so he could have one here. He's getting so big. So is she. They love their cousins and are within walking distance.
Time to wrestle one to sleep and then get the other one. Both fell asleep by 9:30 last night so I transferred them to their room. First night I slept alone.
Hang in there.
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sorry about the fatigue zills. Hopefully it is just the vit D. I know I can feel a difference when I forget my load of vitamins. So glad the kids are having a good time. I hope you get back to the beach tomorrow! Sounds lovely.
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DP, thinking of you and sure hoping you can get some kind of help for that cough.. not sleeping sucks.. I know!! Rant all you want.
Zills, hope you got to the beach.. sounds so good to me. How fun the kids are loving their cousins and are close, great news. Enjoy your sleep alone!!
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Oh DP: Your rant really resonated with me. Although I have received so much from these boards and from some of the awesome women here, I am really scared to become connected or to expose myself again. After my defence of Amy Robach and the anger directed towards me, I have decided just to pop in once and awhile and help out where I feel I have something to contribute (mostly to a newbie). There is so much division here and such a you against us attitude. I can work in the most hostile of environments with even the possibility of physical harm, yet to have the wrath of other women who have anonymity and therefore no accountability, terrifies me. Fortunately, the VAST majority of women here are wonderful and I talk about many of you to my close friends like you really exist in my life:) I am a serious lurker to this thread and actually feel guilty for contributing nothing and gaining so much. I am trying to reconnect but something prevents me from investing again. But DP, you keep me smiling. You are so bloody smart and strong and witty. I would love to meet you some day
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aww, thanks TB (blush). I've been having your same feelings which I why I limit the majority of my posting to this thread. I still read the active threads just to see if there is anything interesting but rarely post anything unless I really feel I can share somethig with someone that maybe not everyone else can. There are a vast amount of helpful ladies here with far more experience than I, that will come along with helpful words. I used to follow some of the TN threads but won't post there any more because I don't want someone newly diagnosed to see stage IV in my signature and be scared that it is a death sentence. So I like staying here in my cozy corner of bco with all of the wonderfully kind and intelligent ladies here on this thread who were so nice and comforting from the time that I was in a really bad place. As horrible as I felt the night I started this thread, I am so glad that it happened because I likely wouldnt have otherwise had such amazing people come into my "life" all at once. I was pondering a few weeks ago if I would have to leave this little corner if/when I get recon. Lol. Silly I know. But my head is always full of random silly thoughts!
TB, I remember you from one of the old chemo threads I think. You are a firefighter or an EMT? Chemobrain, sorry.
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((((DP)))) I too get it.... Same sort of $hit happens on my diabetes forum sometimes. As Zills suggested, can you just go to a gp for your cough?
Zills, the beach sounds like fun! Sounds like the kids are having a great time.
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DP, You are welcome to stay here no matter what you decide and do about recon. It's your thread after all. I know what you mean about people thinking their way is the only right way. They should just be grateful they found what works for them. The cough does sound miserable.
Zills, The beach sounds like fun. Hope you're able to go and have enough energy to enjoy it.
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no real progress on finding a new PCP. Would it be completely ridiculous of me to go to the ER? I think that would likely get me a chest x ray and maybe a RX but I'm thinking maybe I would be too embarrassed. I'll be all like hey forget about that gun shot victim over there, I have a cough! Not sure I could pull it off. Although it might be mildly entertaining to go let them give me an xray and not tell them i am missing half a lung. I can picture it now, "ma'am I'm so sorry to have to tell you..." Ha. Mind you this would be the same ER that told me there was nothing notable on a chest CT, at which time I knew I had a 4 cm breast tumor. So maybe they wouldn't even notice. Can't decide. I guess I'll see what the morning brings.
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Hi DP, I think if it bothers you enough to even consider going to the ER, it may just be what you need to do.
Telling them you have a really annoying cough after all you've had done, just may get you in quicker. I know your system is different over there, but if I am worried about something that will need an xray or a scan, I will go to the ER, rather than my local Dr, who is just going to write a referral for me to go and have the xray or the scan done anyway.
You could have some infection going on and need some antibiotics to knock it out, or even a sputum test to see what's going on, I'd go, if it were me.
Let us know how you are!
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I have just gotten back from having a sensational facial. There is a beauty school in town and they are always looking for women to give the students practice. I hadn't been before, but when I got an invitation for an advanced facial, I couldn't resist.
It was just fantastic, as good as any facial I have ever had, anywhere, and they were thrilled because I was willing to have all the treatments, including a peel and a "rubber" mask. Some skins are too sensitive for the peel and if you are claustrophobic, the rubber mask covers the eyes and the mouth, with just the nostrils for breathing. LOL
I feel very pampered, but will likely look like I am really sunburned by tomorrow! M
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DC, I think ER may not be a bad idea, you would get xray or whatever sooner, this seems to be hanging on too long to not be treated with antibiotics, it must be just draining for you. Only my opinion and I am one that never goes in very quickly. Wishing you the best.
Love your sense of humor... going in with part of lung missing and not telling them...
I am sure you would get seen very quickly.. good luck.. keep us posted.
Ariom, sounds like your facial was great.. wish I was closer to one.
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that does sound very nice ariom. I can't do facials or even pedicures for that matter. For one, I am one of those with too sensitive skin and I also can't stand for anyone to be touching my face or toes. I relented to a foot massage during a chemo infusion once because the volunteer lady would not stop badgering me. I wanted to crawl out of my skin! You're lucky to have a place like that close. I do love a bargain on anything. We have Toni & Guy salon training schools here that give cuts for $10 but it's damn impossible to get in.
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delirium pie? They actually missed a 4 cm breast tumor on the ct scan there!?! omfg, now i am reeeely beginning to doubt all the results some of my docs are just thinking are in my head alone. TB90, if i am one of the women who upset you, i am greatly sorry. i hope it was not me, i don't remember anything anymore, but i know i have po'd more than one woman, and i am really trying to stay away from any volatile mean thread like that. mostly just come to learn and encourage. i came here today, because of ongoing non cancer problems with my breasts, continuously , and i am just thinking about having them off. really just done. do any of you have any problems with hard nodes all around where they may have done alnd? mine are several, and are so painful, it feels like glass, under the skin of my rib cage, and in my armpit, and near my breast and on my chest muscle. tests have shown nothing, not even enlargement, and that is what worries me. even docs can feel how large they are. they say it is "conchordant" with all the nodes i had taken out... what is funny is that two of the nodes i had taken out, were 2.5 centimeters, and i NEVER felt them, and they never hurt like these do. in spite of exercising, i am losing range of motion on that arm rapidly. it feels like bone on bone, when i move it, with the most astounding sharp pain that will run to my wrist, and back up. so i am seriously thinking about being flat, because i want no further fuckery with my muscles. i could never willingly cut into perfectly good skin or muscle to approximate a real breast. the thought of that is cringe worthy.
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Kathe, One of the women who had nerve pain for years after her lumpectomy is getting relief from acupuncture. The practitioner is not even doing it on the lump side because of LE. Might be worth a try. I know how you feel about the tests. I keep trying to repress that my larger & more active tumor was invisible to Mammo and ultrasound.
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kathe, are you sure that they are lymph nodes? I have mutant scar tissue that continues to form and is painful in some of the ways you described.
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Kathec: Definitely not you. Now enough about that. Hope you and DP get to the bottom of your issues. Issues that linger are so frustrating. I am continually amazed at what our medical field cannot diagnose or treat, at least in a timely fashion. Advocate strongly and never worry about offending someone. You both deserve peace of mind and resolution of these issues. Good luck and hugs to you both.
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whew, tb90, thanks im glad it wasnt me! i know i had some grouchy days here! there are nodes, several have been biopsied. they tell me its because they are working harder because of the missing ones, i just dont understand why now, so long after tx?? its just so frustrating, i found it hard to stop crying yesterday,not like me at all. thanks for listening, you guys are my best world.
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so sorry kathe. I know it is so frustrating. How long ago did you complete rads? I began having all sorts of tissue changes , which they say are from rads, 6-8 months afterward. BC is the gift that keeps on giving.
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i do agree, delirium pie. or maybe even longer. i was finished with them, in april 2013.
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Sheila, did you get something to help with your cough? I hope you are feeling better.
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yes we are wondering if everything is ok?
Irish weather has been fantastic. Played tourist for a few days before my aunt left. Missed my naps and can feel it.
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hi ladies
I've been taking an OTC med for chest congestion and cough. It made me feel a lot better. Still hacking though. Now a dry cough. I slept nearly all weekend and have been busy on a couple of projects at work this week. Still so much fatigue and just not feeling good. I feel pretty pitiful. It's frustrating.
Glad the weather is nice zills and that you got to see some of the sights. Are you able to get in much quiet time?
My maladies are boring me, how is everyone else? Anything fun going on?
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Hi DP, glad to see your cough is getting a bit better. You might find you get some energy back once it is all gone. There might be a low grade infection keeping you down.
It has been freezing here at night and in the morning, but we've had some beautiful clear sunny days. We have quite a bit of work going on here. I have had the old boat shed lined inside and made ready to be a little studio and spot for my treadmill etc. We had the fence replaced, just waiting for the gates to be refurbed and the two pillars at the front doors have been blue boarded ready for tiling when the house is rendered. There is a bit of painting inside, which was never finished when we did the original renovation and that along with some painting of the fascia outside and it will all be done.
I am going to Melbourne tomorrow, to see Bec for a couple of days. It will be my first time back since Colin's Mother's Funeral, last October.
I bought Bec a folding bike, which I was assembling the other day. I leaned over the top of it to reach something on the floor, it started to fall and caught me with the point of the seat right in the incision line, between my ribs. Ouch!!! It has been really sore, hurts to cough and to twist, so I haven't gotten very much done around here. I am not looking forward to sitting in the car for so long tomorrow.
Hey Zills, hasn't the time flown? I hope you've really enjoyed yourself with the family and being at the beach. Have the kids loved seeing the cousins?
Take it easy girls..M x
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They love the cousins. Two live next door and the other two just down a few houses. We play every day.
Sometimes at a park, sometimes at the beach, most of the time in the yard. Grandad has a trampoline, one has a bouncy house, one has a paved driveway that's great for bikes.
I nap every day with the baby. Missed two days while sightseeing and can feel it. Trying to get caught up so can have a good weekend. Then have to rest up for when DH gets here.
The two youngest are 14 and 15 months. So everyone gets naps but none at the same time!
When's your next appt?
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Hi Zills, that sounds like just fantastic fun for the kids, but I can imagine it's a lot for you, not surprised you need your naps! Do you have anything planned for when your DH arrives?
My next appointment is next Tuesday, making a day of it again, lunch and some shopping. I have spent most of the day on the couch today, because it was so cold and wet and my side is a bit better for it.
I am looking forward to seeing Bec tomorrow, but since I am driving down with Mary my massage therapist, I won't have my car and Bec doesn't drive, so we will be staying local. There are lots of lovely cafes and restaurants within walking distance, Bec lives right on the beach, in a little retro apartment, but it will be perishing cold.
Take it easy...M x
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that's a lot going on ariom! How long do you anticipate all the work taking? Your studio sounds like such a fun project.
Zills, it sounds like a wonderland of a summer vacation for the kids. And yhe time does fly, doesn't it?!
I decided against the trip to Denver. We would have left tonight, but too many people at BFs job were already down for PTO tomorrow. So instead, we are going to drive to Austin on Wednesday and come back Thursday. I'm not really feeling like I want to go to Florida in August either, but we will see. Going to SC in October though. Thinking that's enough travel for me for the year. I've purchased the concert tickets for Dallas and Austin and booked a B&B for Wednesday night. Hopefully it will be a fun short trip and not too much driving in two days.
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