Time for hospice and Im really scared
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All the critters are soo cute! I love the white squirrel and the hedgehog! The itty-bitty bunny is cute too, and Chrissy, Tinkerbell is adorable! Even the camel and pukeko are fun - thanks for posting all!
We're heading out this Saturday from Michigan to Virginia and then to South Carolina (to visit my son and mother-in-law, respectively), so I'll keep an eye open for Deuce on the way.
Hugs to all, Amy0 -
Good morning Teri. It's early here in California and I have a hot cup of coffee, a blanket, and a twinkling Christmas tree to set the mood. I really hope you have a day filled with things that make you feel warm and fuzzy. I wish We were all a bit closer so we could hang out with some hot chocolate and blankets and talk about Deuce and whatever else came up. You are in my thoughts today, Teri.0 -
Teri, don't know if you'll appreciate this, but now whenever I read about goats, I think of you!
You might enjoy this article on D.C. kids learning about animals and what happens to the Potomac river and environs when folks throw trash in the city streets:
Tina0 -
Tina - "Sir Loin" - too funny. What a great opportunity for kids to experience nature and learn all about where food come from and how we affect our environment.
Here is another story that I thought I would share - http://www.sunnyskyz.com/blog/30/What-Are-Those-Objects-On-The-Dam-Wall-You-Have-Got-To-Be-Kidding#.UqgF5bDyFBo.facebook
Not sure that Deuce is there, but perhaps these guys have seen him passing through.
Teri - hope that you are warm, comfortable and enjoying the conversation and seeing all of the critters that have come to visit. They are so cute huh?0 -
Good morning, Teri. No sign of Deuce here in Seattle, but I'm on the lookout. Hope you are feeling okay, warm hugs to you.0 -
Good morning, Teri and gang.
I have to say that as cute as those little bunnies are, I have had warring words with them all summer as they ate practically everything I had planted! I kept telling them that if I was not a vegetarian, we would be having rabbit stew every night, but they just laughed at me as the polished off my Echinacea and Rudbeckia! I planted these as I think the deer don't like them much, but apparently the rabbits DO!
There was a bit to-do about white squirrels in Olney, IL - supposedly the only place they lived, and I think they sent one to President Kennedy .... long time ago, so memory may be failing me. I have been to Olney to see them, and they sure looked like that one from NY! So, have they migrated, or are there other little bands of them around?
Teri, I get it about getting another pet right now. I SO want a dog, but am content with just my cat right now. A dog takes a lot more attention, but is a bit more fun in some ways. Have you considered asking your hospice folks if there are any "therapy animals" that could come visit you? I was in the onc clinic yesterday, and saw a sign posted that had about a dozen photos of dogs and their owners who were "registered therapy animals" and notifying us that it was OK to pet them (as opposed to service animals, which we are NOT supposed to pet!). Or if you are up to it for a little while, maybe foster an animal for the local humane shelter - not sure how many hedgehogs they get, but maybe a rabbit or something warm and furry. But do check with your social worker or hospice worker and see if you can't get a visit or two from a 4-legged critter to nourish your soul.
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Linda-N3 that's a great idea about the pet therapy visits to nourish the animal urge. Ohh I so love the photos of the animals. We have a baby squirrel and Mom who frequent our walled in garden and their antics just crack the kids and I up. The little one is so insanely cute. We put sunflower heads out for him to eat and I swear it was watching a kid with popcorn! My Boarder collie dove into bed with me this morning... wet nose and kisses right across your face. She's like "your counts are up so take me for a walk!!! Pleeeeazeeeee!" She's very persuasive! Animals have a way of motivating us!
Years ago back in Philly we were watching a bunch of inner city kids enjoying the Colonial Farm (a working replica of a Colonial farm outside of Philly). The kids were discussing the animals in the pasture.. "yep that sure is a nice deer", said the kid. My husband and I lost it... it was a cow. Well I am sure that kid knows things about subways we can only wonder about, but he couldn't tell the difference between a cow and a deer. It was so comical.
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one of my neighboring towns is Brevard, NC. I'll have to ask my dad about the story again, but I think someone, a long time ago, went to a circus show in South Carolina and saw a white squirell. The man bought it and brought it back to Brevard. They are everywhere in that town. I live in a town about 20 miles away and we have white squirells too! They are not albino and most of them are pure white. One used to come to my granny's house, into the doorway, to get a snack every day.
I'm on disability and I'm so grateful to have my dog and cat as company during the day. I also have a horse, but I haven't seen him since my surgery in October...i hope I get to play with him soon! I was thinking of getting DH a horse for Christmas, then I realized that's probably not the best gift to be left with if something were to happen to me...sigh.
Teri--another Carolina blue sky today...it's deceiving because it's cold outside!! Stay warm and comfortable.0 -
Where are you up to? Haven't read the whole thread so hope I'm not being too crass.
From what I've read, you are an inspiration. God Bless you and your courage.
I have had chemo twice. Second time far worse. Still worth trying though.
But now I lost the boob, I do have to consider whether or not I'd go through it again should it be required. Unless it was the other boob and so starting all over again.
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Hi Teri, hoping you are having a good day. It's snowing here so all reasonably thinking goats are inside. I'm on my way to Mexico for Christmas and will look for Deuce. Just in case he made it all the way down the coast in search of warmer climes.
Pam0 -
Hello, Teri -
I'm from Dallas, and I unfortunately haven't seen little Deuce! But I'm on the look out. Hope your days are comfortable as can be.
Hugs,
LL0 -
Hey Teri,
I had a free day, so I thought I'd go looking for Deuce. ANd what do you know, the first goat I ran into offered to help look. Here my helper is:
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Well next thing I knew, his friend shouted out, ree-eee-lllll-y loud, to all the goats around what we were doing..,
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And see what happened. Now we'll find him..
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Those pictures are too funny, Chanah!
Teri,
Just wanted to wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. I'm leaving early. Friday morning for my big NZ/AUS trip. I am working until then and have a million things to do but got the broken tooth taken care of today. I'll keep an eye out for Deuce but since Chrissy reports no down under sightings, I'm not too hopeful. Thinking of you.
Caryn
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Teri, wishing you a good morning and a day with minimal pain, and at least one or two belly laughs. And if those goat pictures above don't do it, I don't know what will!
Caryn, have a wonderful trip! I had so wanted to make that trip myself to see friends in Australia, but that is not possible now, so please enjoy for all of us!
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Hi Teri!! It's 3.30 am here and I'm just about to head off to bed but I wanted to pop in and say hi before I did.
I'm getting ready for another few days of scorching heat, tomorrow is supposed to be 42 celcius (107 F) and Friday 45 celcius (113 F).........phew!!!! I guess the aircon will be running non stop until the temps return to something a little more civilized!.......did I mention I hate summer?
Hoping your days are much cooler and pain free.
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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Hi Teri.
Well, I think I told you a while back that my neighbor keeps goats and had some new ones. I did wonder if it was Deuce but nope, he's not here.
So you want to know where the new ones came from? (and I don't mean the cute new kids, either). My neighbor has a friend who lives not too far away who rents a ground-floor apartment with a garden. So he decided to get a few goats. Goat's milk! Educational for the children! Then he found out his landlord was returning from overseas and would NOT like the additional tenants. So my neighbor is keeping them for now. Yeah, the guy lives in an apartment with his (large) family and decided to keep goats.
You can't make up stuff like this.
Leah
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Between the pictures and the stories, thus is the thread to come to when you need a laugh!
Teri, I've been watching out on all my trips with my children, but I'm sorry to say there's no sign of Deuce here in south-west France. I'll keep looking though!
Today I've woken up to rain. It's a bit of a change from the freezing conditions we have been having, and I have to say I prefer the cold. We get very little wind here, so a proper winter day is crisp and cold, with a weak winter sun shining in a clear sky! Hope it returns to that for next week - I don't fancy rain for Christmas.
I hope your day is a good one, with better weather than me!
Nicky
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Sorry I haven't been writing much. It's getting more and more difficult to type. I shake so much that if I stop and pause my fingers over the keys to think, I invariably hit 2 or 3 more keys before I start typing again. So my typing takes twice as long because I have to edit it so many times.
Hope everybody is getting ready for the holidays of their choice. My sister and her DH came by yesterday and decorated my house inside and out because I said I was too tired. Wasn't that sweet? Why couldn't people be this nice to me when I wasn't dying, huh? Lol. Does anyone else feel this way though? That people should just be nicer to each other?
I used to get a bunch of grief that I was born in the wrong decade because I was a hippie. Because I loved trees and flowers and animals and always thought people should be judged as good until they prove themselves otherwise. That made me a hippie? Then I'll gladly take that title.
NickyJ, I agree this thread is a little off the wall. I absolutley love what it turned into. I'd love to rename it but I'd be afraid someone looking for it after an absence wouldn't be able to find it.
I hope you all are having low pain and SE days during these holidays. And if I don't sign on for a while, Happy Holidays!
Teri
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Teri, we know you are there, and we are delighted when you feel up to sending a note to update us. We also know how much energy it takes to type, and especially more so when you stop to correct every error. I have had my fingertips in bandaids for a couple months now because the meds caused my fingernails to thin and split so they catch on EVERYTHING, so I put bandaids on and then try to type??? HA! LOTS of multiple letters and wrong letters! So I really get it!
In any case, I completely agree with your "hippie" attitude. Yes, people, especially my family, are making more time to help me now than before. I don't know why that is, but I think I have done the same thing - waiting until someone is very ill or dying before I spend real quality time with them. In a couple cases, I was too late, and maybe that's why I make an effort now. Also, I think there is a tendency to think we will ALWAYS have tomorrow to make that phone call, send that card, help that sibling or parent or friend .... and suddenly, we and our loved ones wake up and realize there might not BE a tomorrow and it brings out the good in us.
Thank you for starting this thread! Yes, it has certainly taken a few interesting turns, and so enjoyable and full of love and care and humor. Rest well, we are with you and do not expect you to post every day. We are blessed when you are able to do so.
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Hi Terri
I know what you mean about being born in the wrong time. I was lucky enough to be a child of the sixties I am still a freedom seeking rebel even if an old one now. I love the idea that we should judge people as good unless they prove us wrong. There is so much more to the world than material things. A discussion for another day it's getting late here.
Sorry your feeling tired and shaky but it is good to hear your voice. So goodnight from another old hippie.
Hugs Mara x
Ps Nicky keep warm and enjoy the whiskey cake
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Teri,
I know exactly what you mean, on so many levels. It must be nice to have your house decorated though. We have a tree, but it is still in the basement. Rumor has it that Mr. 02143 will be setting it up in the stand tomorrow. I will get the kids to help decorate this weekend. Our tree ornaments are pretty pathetic. I must remember to get my Mother's boxes of beautiful ornaments from her barn next summer now that I host Christmas.
Our snow is no longer fresh; one of the side effects of living in a city. Maybe we will get just a hint of snow before the holiday to freshen it up.
Hope tomorrow is a good day,
*susan*
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Teri,
Don't worry about changing the name of this thread. You started it for a reason, and it is what it is. To me, it just shows the strength of the love and support here on the boards that a thread with a name that's quite frankly scary can turn into a funny, moving chat full of warmth 30 pages long - and still growing! You started this for you; it's turned into something important to all of us, so thank you!
As for not writing often, we know you're there, reading and smiling with us. We know you'll write when you can.
Mara, tradition states we can't cut the cake until the 24th. I'm waiting very impatiently!
Nicky
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It makes me so happy to know that your house is all decked out for Christmas. I have hung one ornament on a plant and that is it. Friday we are going to my daughter's house to set up her tree and decorate it as a family with all the globes I hand painted every year. She was going to get married Dec 1st but got divorced instead. I've never seen her happier! She's about 30, and my 19 y/o son moved in with her and that has worked out great for all of us. My husband and I have not had a house to ourselves since 1984, and feel like teenagers again. Our son needs to begin his own life and has bought a car and enrolled in school and is looking for a job, and his sister feels safer and less lonely with him there. We've been celebrating our family Christmas at her house for a few years now, but I am glad to make the transition more complete and help her learn how to be the family matriarch.
I want to decorate our home with things that mean something special to just me and him.
We are all broke, so this will be a holiday of symbolic, goofy and cheap gifts. We do a white elephant with a $10 limit. We eat and play games and talk and laugh as much as we can.
I am making special but cheap gifts for the kids in our extended family, nieces and nephews. I bought 7 smallish fleeces blankets at Big Lots 2 for $5. I cut one into strips for small pillow cases and am personalising those with embroidery and applique. Thier name or initials, beads, sequins, fringe. Stuff I have that I know they like (frogs and flies and cars for the boys) and makes it about them.
The blanket can be stuffed into the attached case to make a pillow for the car, and if they are cold, they can pull out the the fleece throw, which I'm leaving plain. It has a nice stitched edge.
I hope they like them. I'm adding candy in the cases to mediate any sad looks. The other good thing about our youngest moving out is that we are turning his room into a studio, so I can make quilts again. Only the oldest 3 kids got one when born so I am way behind on baby quilts. Guest I'll make big kid quilts they can grow into. I'm excited about having a room for crafts and ecstatic to have a room for art. That was the big thing I gave up when I had kids. I never did serious artwork again. Found it took too many hours of deep concentration, and couldn't do that with constant interuption and no privacy.
We are too broke to finish it right now, but I will let you know when I start working again. I have years of ideas saved up, and sketchbooks full of inspiration. Art is the thing that makes me feel most peaceful and alive, and I need it so bad now. I needed it more as a child, but that came from a sad place, now I have lots of joy to express. It's going to feel good!
You are so talented, I hope you are still able to do some type of art, even if it's just color bleeds with watercolor. If you can only make simple things they will still contain all the beauty inside you. Maybe if you can draw your pain it will feel good too. Try soft charcoal and rough paper. I drew a crow, just his head, all black with that cold yellow eye. Somehow it helped me with my fear, just by making it and looking at it. I wish I could find you an art therapist to stop by and show you technique that are within your limitations. I'm sure there must be a way. But I have gone 20 years just doing art in my head, so I know it is with you whenever you need it. Visualize what you want to paint, think about the colors and textures. It's just as real in my head when I make stuff, but is also flawless. I spent years going back to refine ideas for paintings in my head.
When I am in my studio, I will be thinking of you, of course. I'll send you pictures and give you first choice if you like one. Maybe it will have to be Deuce!
Hope you have a lovely, pretty pain free day, Teri. And that we all find some beauty in the coming day.
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Just dropping by to say good morning. I love this thread and wouldn't change a thing Teri! I've had those same feelings about people being nice because your dying. I've had that experience a couple of times now and thought, why couldn't you have expressed that warmth and helpfulness before? I suppose we all deserve another chance to be the person we really want to be.
I hope you are enjoying the warmth that the decorations bring. No need to post, we know you are there!
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Good Morning Teri,
I was glad to read that your sister and husband were able to decorate your house. I am going to pick my daughter up from the airport tonight and then my Christmas will be complete. I hope the time spent with family and friends over the holidays is enjoyable. Always in my thoughts
Michele
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Teri - wonderful to see your latest post - don't worry about posting we know you're there and reading. Glad your sister and her DH decorated for you and my hope is that you're resting comfortably knowing that so many people are surrounding you with their love.
Sending hugs, S.
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Thanks for posting Teri. Now that we understand that it takes a lot of effort to type we will not worry if we don't see you responding very often. We will just be happy knowing that you are checking in to see what we have been posting. I have a lot of trouble typing also, but it is caused by my chemo which left me with "chemo brain" and an annoying typing disability. I have to spend a lot of time going back and correcting whatever I write as sometimes it looks like a foreign language. I have had to correct quite a few words so far in this post, or no one could understand what I was trying to say. It can get frustrating.
I, too, am a child of the 60's. While I don't suppose I was ever a real hippie - I left that to my sister who got married in a Buddist wedding on a hilltop and who used to go stay with Timothy Leary and his followers and admits to 300 trips on LSD - I do espouse many of the same things you do. Loving animals and believing in the fundamental goodness of people is in my DNA. I've lived my life helping others and suppose I always will. I have also enjoyed critters in most shapes and forms and delight in seeing them around me. Like this tiny, exquisite creature that my husband found:
I hope that you will have a comfortable day and be able to enjoy the decorations your family put up for you. One thing that I have begun to realize, as I have more time to think, is that there is so much more we could have done for those around us, had we looked closely enough to realize that they needed doing. But the fact is, we are usually so focused our own lives, needs and wants that we don't always notice others who could use some of our help. I regret not doing more for my mother. I also regret all the years I did not get along with my brother. When he unexpectedly collapsed and almost died, I rethought a lifetime of animosity in an instant, put everything aside and went to help. It is amazing how a crisis can rearrange thoughts. All of a sudden, getting him to the best help possible to try to save his life was more important than my petty, childish feelings. He made it through six tough months, during which I stayed by his side. We even planned his funeral together because we did not think he was going to live through a major operation, and ended up becoming friends.
Perhaps those around you were busy also and only now are realizing how much you mean to them, in spite of any differences there may have been, and are quietly doing what they can to make you comfortable and happy.Best, Sarah
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Hi Teri, Glad you took the time to check in! Always fun to read this thread, it has been my favorite. I read it first. By it's title you wouldn't think it would be so very full of life, and yet it IS! Don't change anything. I love the personalities, pictures and learning about others all over. It's so fun to read the posts. Teri you are leaving a lovely legacy. Someone wrote it's like a coffee club of friends. True.
My daughter got me a bumper sticker that reads," Tree hugging Dirt Worshipper." She said, "Mom this is so you." Yep, animals, forests, gardening, Birkies and all.... Hippie is ok. I guess it fits. I can't believe my middle kid turns 18 today.. passed her drivers license yesterday.. time flies. She was in 5th grade when I was diagnosed.
Wonderful your sister and family took the time to decorate! How sweet. We have a tree cut from a neighbors farm, Nobel fir and does it smell good. All covered in white and blue Christmas lights...lots of wooden animals, forest creatures, Waldorf knitted ornaments and handmade kid items.. love it!! I am happy none of our 3 cats have decided to climb it this year. Sometimes I stay up late just to sit in a quiet house admiring the soft lights on that tree. Happy Holidays to you all. PAX and pain free!
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