Time for hospice and Im really scared
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Teri, I have not posted in awhile, but I do read the threads. I am feeling anger
For your news as a knot of emotion rests in my throat. The ladies have said it all
The love here for you is overwhelming. I happen to feel God is the Only one to forecast
Our date of demise. Please follow your inner thoughts and physical being when deciding
If you will accept this opinion or seek a third. Don't settle if you honestly feel your fight
Is not over. You definitely need more time to marinade everything. Live every day as
I like to do as though it were your last. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
On Jan.30,2014 a friend of mine (in excellent health) passed away while on vacation
In Jamaica. Heartattack! She was 16 yes my Jr. But, I am STAGE IV cancer. My
Point, enjoy each and every day. Do what is important to you. Leave no doubts
Lingering. Our hearts are forever connected here. God loves you and so do I.
You will be in my prayers.
((( ))). Barb
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Teri,
Sending love and hugs and prayers your way. I hope you had a restful, peaceful day today.
Love and hugs, Amy
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Romansma, I wish I had that on tape. That would be a fun one to see again. (Listen to again.)
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Teri, keeping you in my heart and prayers. FYI, many people actually survive LONGER in hospice than with "regular" care, and that has been documented in several studies.
I asked my MO yesterday about estimated lifetime left with or without new treatment, and she reminded me that she could NOT give any REAL estimate, but that if she had to guess, I will definitely be here for 3 months, maybe 6, probably not more than a year if I choose no further treatment, so I would qualify for hospice. I think that you have to be "re-certified" by your doc every 6 months to stay on hospice, at least for some of them. So you should have no difficulty with getting back into hospice. I have one more chemo that I am willing to try, hoping it works without horrible SEs, and if not, will cross that bridge when I come to it. For now, I am thinking of all the wonderful women I have met here, how much care and love flows all over the world, how we are NOT ALONE. Brendatrue has a way of putting all of this into words so eloquently, so I will just say ".... what Brenda said!"
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Hi Teri! I just noticed I was begging on my couch according to my last post. I guess all the pain killers got in the way of my editing. Anyway....vegging on the couch is what I meant.
Do you have cable? It was on one of the On Demand channels and I didn't have to pay for it (pay anymore, I should say-cable is so darn expensive)! Another one I like is Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
I hope you are enjoying this evening, Teri. Are you watching the Olympics? Nite!
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Teri, thinking of you this morning, in a wet, windy, stormy Bordeaux!
Definitely a day for vegging on the couch - Romansma- if I let autocorrect have its way I would be begging too!! - the weathers too bad to do anything else! The only appointment I have today is PT, but it's in the pool so I'm in no way looking forward to going! Oh well, it's this afternoon, so hopefully I'll summon up the enthusiasm later!
I hope you have a pain free day, warm and cosy!
Sending you (((((hugs)))))
Nicky
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NickyJ, it's so funny whenever you mention Bordeaux my mind jumps to the wine rather than the place. So your post above puts you sitting in a giant wet, windy, stormy glass of wine! It's really hysterical in my mind sometimes...
Teri
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Lol Teri I thought the same thing.
Donna
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Me too because chances are I will never make it to the city but definitely have the glass! diane
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Hi Teri,
I have been lurking all this time and have not even managed to stick in my medical background info (stage 2a bilateral bc, bilateral lumpectomies, bilateral re-excisions, letrozole and more to come).
Anyway, I called the Knight Cancer Institute at Portland, OR, part of the Oregon Health and Science University. I believe they're 30 miles from Estacada. Their online info says they're the only ones who have a program for liver cancer in Oregon. Here's the link:
http://www.ohsu.edu/xd/health/services/cancer/gett...
I asked if they take Stage 4 patients with secondary liver cancer caused by breast cancer. They said they have patients who call for second opinions on these things. The phone number to call is 503-494-7999, and the patient can get more detailed info from them. Also, they need the names of the previous doctors so they can get medical records. I requested this information just in case you can use it.
Gotta go. I try to attend daily Traditional Mass (here in San Francisco) and it's at noon. I have been praying for you and will keep praying for you.
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Way to go Mrs Chang! Useful information.
Teri, I hope you are feeling well today. Isn't it amazing how people chime in here? I am so impressed.
Bordeaux isn't the only cold wet, stormy place today. We got about 5" of snow overnight, on top of what all of the frozen snow we already had, it's being smooshed and melted by alternating rain and sleet. It's truly disgusting outside. I went out to feed the birds, so I know. Mush, mush mush, through the deep and sloppy snow. Awful! So glad I am inside. I live in a summer resort. This is definitely not what people think about when they think summer.
This weather is not fit for man nor goat! No Deuce sightings here. He's definitely in warmer climes.
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Teri, you have been through so much in such a short time. Battling the disease, in and out of hospice, fighting inclement weather only to be given a difficult prognosis. It's no wonder you are tired, scared, and upset. Yet you put a positive spin on things, and your spirit is absolutely amazing!
I was wondering whether you might consider a Naturopathic Oncologist (NO)? I consult with mine long-distance since he is in AZ and I am in UT. He is very kind, quite brilliant, and has wonderful interpersonal skills. When I visited him in person to obtain Iscador, I met people whom conventional doctors had given up on whose health was improving. Although there are no guarantees, perhaps it might be worth considering.
I hope you are having a peaceful and pain-free day!
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terri
I dontpost very often but think about youall the time . my prayers go out to you , and I hope you soon get some pain relief
love chris
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Hi Teri!! Well I must say that the vagaries of Mother Nature have been visited upon us again........after suffering for weeks with heat and major fires, I woke this morning to heavy rain that has not let up all day! Not saying I mind coz i don't.......lol.......it just continues to surprise me how every day can bring with it something different and new.
I'm really happy for the rain as it will help the fire fighters extinguish the huge fire in the Bangor forest and relieve the stress of the people it has been threatening.
Hoping you are getting good info from other hospices and you are breathing reasonably well without pain.
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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Teri, lol! A stormy glass of wine eh?? You're not the only one who thinks of the wine first. All my family do too! The minute I say any of us are going to Dublin to visit there's an immediate cry of "BRING WINE!!!!!"
Hope you're having a good day
Nicky
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Hi Teri, checking in from the sandbox, hope you're comfortable today!
I was wondering if you could PM me a mailing address, I found something over here that I'd like to send your way! :-)
I'll be back to check on you soon.
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Hi Teri, I don't post often but, my heart and prayers go out for you daily.
Please check into the info. Given to you by Best bird and Mrs. Chang. It can't hurt and
There may be some additional meds or therapy to benefit you. teri, exhaust every
Avenue possible and still keep the faith. There is a power greater than Drs. And that
Power determines our end. If you believe in God, believe also in miracles.
Hoping you are pain free today. Also, I exercise immediately when pain begins (that
Particular body part) 5 mins. or so and it helps every time. Try it! NEVER,EVER GIVE UP
(((Hugs))). Barb
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Hi Teri,
I rarely post, but am drawn to it today. I check on you daily and think about you daily as well. I wish and pray for good things for you and hate the cards you have been dealt. I feel close to you as well because we both live in Oregon. I am very new to this forum, but am getting use to what my future may hold and I am gathering information and learning new information every day from all the smart and caring ladies on this site.
I know you have been on this path a long time and have probably researched the heck out every treatment possible. The post about the naturopathic dr. who specializes in cancer and Iscador was what lured me in. If you have any interest in this drug as a treatment or in consulting a naturopathic MD who specializes in cancer and who works alongside the western oncologists I have a guy that I see for additional non-traditional treatments who was recommended by my regular oncologist. He is in Portland and very knowledgable. Iscador seems to have some pretty amazing stories associated with it and I know when and if my progression goes beyond my comfort zone that is my future wild card I intend to play. I have a friend who's progression was running rampant and she has gotten her very first PET recently that did not show more progression and even showed some evidence of missing mets (which her dr. claimed was probably an error in diagnosing the previous PETs). They don't want to give credit to her diligence in injecting Iscador three times a week, which they do not support. She went to this drug when she had heard first hand stories of very positive outcomes and lack of treatment options from her onc. I know this is very early on in her Iscador treatment and it could be temporary improvements, like other traditional treatments. I also know you have a long history with this beast of a disease and have a massive amount of knowledge from your history and fight. I just really really wish you the best. You are a wonderful spirit. Hugs to you!!!!
Send me a personal message if you have any interest in the NO.
Rhonda
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(((Teri))) Sweet thoughts of you, and Deuce, and Forrest, and the whole gang on Valentine's Day.
xoxo
Rose.
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Hi Teri,
I'm still lurking (medical background info - stage 2a bilateral bc,
bilateral lumpectomies, bilateral re-excisions, letrozole and more to
come).I've been thinking aloud and ahead but you can ignore this if you wish. Anyway, it occurred to me that maybe Oregon doesn't have the resources for your illness and you might need to go elsewhere for treatment. Granted, these trips can be a great travail, and may not always help, but for the sake of argument I tried to figure out how you could find assistance if you needed to obtain medical care elsewhere.
So I called the American Cancer Society (888-227-6333) and they do have a program in which they help with transport and lodging. They want you to be ambulatory enough to get in and out of a car, even using a cane, but of course I don't know if you can or can't so we left it at that. You can hang on to this phone number just in case you want to use it later.
The ACS also gave me a phone number to inquire about clinical trials (800-303-5691) in case you're ever interested. I have been on a clinical trial for breast cancer treatment and they paid for several MRI's along the way. I'm probably off the trial now because the first investigational drug they tried didn't work out, and my oncologist stopped it.
Hope you're feeling some relief. I continue to pray for you.
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Happy VD Teri. I hope you are treating yourself to a little something special tonight.
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hi terri
just stopping by to say hello and see how you are doing ? idont always comment but check usually everyday.hopeyou are pain free today and things are getting better love chris
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Hi Teri!! Yesterday was full on with a long drive to the city to attend my niece's wedding and then a long drive home again when the festivities were over. We finally arrived home at 3.00 am..........guess who slept in this morning.......lol.
Didn't catch sight of Deuce on the way.......maybe he decided to get in undercover somewhere as it was pouring rain for most of the journey........after all, he is one very smart goat!
Hope you day is a good one and you get to do something that gives you pleasure and it goes without saying that you are as pain free as possible.
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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Teri - How is your breathing? Are you able to get any rest? Did the doctor come up with a way or with any suggestions to help you breathe more easily? What about palliative care, it should be helping find ways to alleviate your breathing problems.
I don't know about your weather, but we just got another few inches of snow yesterday. It seems as if winter will never end, but sometimes it is incredibly beautiful. I woke up last night around 3 am and looked out of the window to find that it had stopped snowing, the sky had cleared and the moon was shining in all its full moon glory. The world looked extraordinary. It was almost as light as day, but was blue white in color with the snow reflecting the bright moonlight. I had never seen it look the way it did and went from window to window to see how things looked from each. There were no deer moving that I could see, although this morning when I got up there were deer tracks along the edges of the property, so they must have come through later.
It's weather like this ongoing freeze that makes me glad I no longer have horses to care for and worry about. No more ice to break in buckets with my trusty hammer, or stalls to muck out when it's soooo cold. I do miss seeing them play and roll in the snow, though. They loved the snow. Do goats gamble about and play also? I imagine they do.
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Just a reminder to all those sending me prayers. I have no problems if you want to pray for me but please do it on your own thread. I have my own spriituality that doesn't include formal religion. It seemed like it was getting a bit thick in here.
Also to the woman who recomennded OHSU, being that I live in Portland and have had cancer for 17 years, I already get treated by OHSU and am aware of what they offer. Thank you anyway but that was a lot of research you did for nothing, and I hate that you wasted so much of you precious time.
I know this thread is long but if you skip through it before posting you'll get an idea of what we've already talked about. But thank you very much for trying to help. I apppreciate it. The biggest point I need to make now is I'm back in hospice so I'm not looking for cures anymore again.
Thank you for understanding.
Teri
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Sounds like you have done everything possible, now it's your time to rest and do as little or as much of whatever you want to do. I am not big on prayers either and am uncomfortable when people tell me they are praying for me. I think it comforts them.
Is there anything we can do for you? Send you anything? Like, a local store near me, Tate's, makes top notch chocolate chip and other cookies which they ship - they have been featured on TV and in magazines. Would you like some to nibble on? They are melt in your mouth good.
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As you wish, Teri.
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Teri,
Checking in to say hi. I just got home from the University of Delaware Women's Basketball Game where our puppy raising club was having its monthly activity. It is pretty funny that my dog (who is in training to become a seeing eye dog - we are the puppy raisers) has a social schedule of her own! She is a doll - her name is Wendy. About a year now so she will be heading to Morristown NJ soon to begin her formal training. Here is a picture of her back when she was a baby probably about 9 months ago. She came on March 18 of last year and has been my buddy through all the cancer stuff. I sure will miss her but I know she will do a good job for somebody helping them to be independent. We still have mounds of old snow here. Not so pretty anymore. I think it is supposed to snow again next week. OY I am really ready for spring - tired of shoveling all the time. Stay warm, thinking of you.
Janet
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Hi dear Teri,
you don't know me and for that matte I don't know you, mostly because I don't post, I just lurk :-) . However your breathing problems are something I know a lot about because besides the wide spread bone mets, I also have advanced Emphysema (30% lung function) . So being out of breath is something I have to be concerned about any time I am on any pain killers. That's why I feel I should mention that I had good results from switching to Fentanyl patches after we tried nearly every opioid on the market and every one of them caused problems with my lungs. I also find I can manage with a fairly low dosage by using a lot of relaxation technics.
Hilde
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Teri,
You demonstrated an admirable amount of generosity and grace when clarifying for others that you have made the right choices for you at this point in your life and by asking for respect for your own spiritual beliefs and values. Accepting one's situation and choosing to focus on and pursue one's own ideas about quality of life should not be considered as "giving up." May you be surrounded always by those who care for you as the unique person you are and who respect your wishes and values. I'm holding hope for you that each day brings you peace, comfort, moments of joy, and any other experiences that bring you the best quality of life possible. In lovingkindness, as always,
Brenda
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