Time for hospice and Im really scared
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Hi Teri,
I agree with Brenda's post. You were also right to point out that, though long, this whole thread needs to be read to fully understand your situation. As for prayer, I am not a Christian and though I appreciate the intent, it is a bit strange when people quote bible verses and include me in Christian prayers. You take good care of yourself.
Caryn
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Hi Teri
I hope that the new hospice program is working for you and that your pain is tolerable. You should take Hortense up on her offer of those Tate cookies if you have an appetite - they are truly yummy. I also vote for funny movies- they are a great distraction and lifter of spirits. Don't know any about goats on the run. I think with all the posts about the famous deuce on this thread, someone could write a screenplay of his exploits! Hope you are comfortable. Thinking of you
Marian
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Good morning, Teri. Hoping you have a comfortable day, hoping this miserable weather breaks for the entire country soon! I am lucky - live just north of the snow across Atlanta and the East coast, just south of the midwest and northeast snow storms .... but not getting too cocky because severe weather season is approaching soon, with rain, flooding, and tornadoes .... well, let's just think about the lovely sunshiney days in between! And the occasional rainbow!
I don't know if I told you about my friend from southwest PA who visited me last week who also has had goats. She is a fiber artist, and lives in a big old farmhouse in rural PA, has 3 horses (rescue horses) and is thinking of getting goats again, but may get yaks or llamas as the hair is really great for spinning and weaving. She made me the softest most wonderful afghan about 20 years ago that I still keep in my living room. Anyway, I did ask her to keep a lookout for Deuce if she is shopping for goats this spring.
Spirituality is a very personal thing, isn't it? I think someone can be very religious, attend religious services, do good works, and yet, that spiritual connection that one has cannot be felt by anyone else. I find my spiritual connection through music, and even though I do a lot of art, that is not a spiritual thing for me. I have an artist friend who finds her spiritual connection through painting portraits of saints and holy men. And DH finds his through being in nature, some find connection through dance and movement .... I can never presume to know how someone else connects to the universe. I do attend a little church, but find the prayer list sort of a gossipy thing ... not helpful .... just seems like a chance for the hand-wringers to do a little more hand-wringing and commenting about how bad this is .... ok, I am going to stop here, I was starting to get on my soapbox ... Brenda always says these things so succinctly, so I echo what she and Caryn said above.
Janet, the puppy is so adorable. DH and I have missed having a dog in our lives terribly the last 3+ years. We were getting ready to get a dog when I was diagnosed, and then every time it seemed reasonable to be looking for a dog, I would have recurrence and more treatment, and I know I cannot handle taking care of a young animal right now, and he can't really take care of both me and a young animal and do his job .... so I enjoy the stories and pictures that you all share with Teri.
Well, a little verbose this morning, I just had a sisters weekend with my 3 sisters swooping in and taking care of house chores that needed to be done, so have not been on BCO much. They painted my bathroom, including taking out the dings in the wall that I put there during a tamoxifen tantrum (raging anger that I have never had before or since, threw my bottle of pills at the wall, put a ding in it, broke the plastic bottle, pills went everywhere! - MO took me off the drug after that). Also cleaned my house top to bottom, helped file all my 2013 medical bills and statements, we drank wine and single malt scotch whiskey, ate well, laughed a lot!!! Teased each other, shared scrapbooks (they are serious scrap-bookers!), shared a lot of love. They know my gallows humor, they are devastated by my current diagnosis and prognosis, and through it all, we are able to love and support each other. I wish there was a way I could make it easier for them - it is hard enough for me, but I just wish it didn't affect them so much.
Sending much lovingkindess to Teri and all of you this morning.
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Hi Teri,
Thinking of you this morning and hoping you are pain free and peaceful. I hope the new hospice is better and more helpful then the old one. Stay warm and dry.
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I hope you have an even better experience with the new hospice group. Each one is different.
May your nurses be gentle and kind, and your days be long and pleasant as possible. And may you know you are loved.
Hugs!
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I admire you for all that you've been thru and you still seem to have what it takes. I hope I can be more like you as my time draws closer. I've read and kept up with your thread from the very beginning. You've taken care of your pets and made sure they have a happy, secure home.
Those of us that feel the need to pray for you will continue to do so out of love and support.
My very best to you.
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Teri---I can't sleep!!! So I thought I would just pop in and say hi! No goat sightings here...it's been too snowy ( don't think that is a word). I hope you are resting peacefully and with minimal pain. Think of you daily and send love your way! Hoping this new hospice is doing a better job for you!
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Morning Teri!!! I woke up with the cleaning bug yesterday so got done a while heap of things that have been looking at me for sometime.....yay!!!! To compensate, today was a quiet one as I worked on sorting out a friends computer as he had managed to download everything that he didn't need including about ten different tool bars.....lol. Anyway he is now sorted and very happy.
Hoping you are happy with the new hospice and the nurses that visit you are a little kinder to you in their attitude. Enjoy your day and what ever it brings.
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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Cleaning bug... nope. Not here. I have a flu bug and have been under the weather for over a week now. A normal person would take some time to crawl into bed, but with five active projects on my desk, that normal person would NOT be me.
I have thought about your own personal roller coaster a lot, but didn't know what I could add to the conversation. It seems that after 6 months, you are back at the beginning, but only after that ray of optimism that an oncologist could help you feel better. I can feel that you had some disappointment. Me? I would have been crushed by the emotional trip you underwent during this past month.
We have had one snow storm after another, and today they are projecting that we will get another 8 inches. We are running out of places to put the snow now. I live in a densely populated area with small, narrow lots. We quickly run out of places to move the snow to.
Hope that your day is pain-free and has some moments of sunshine.
*susan*
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" … wonder if a psychic or medium could let know where Deuce is."
Interesting thought. I am not a believer in anything other than science, but wouldn't it be great if a medium could tell us things? Where Deuce is for one. What happens next, for another. Life changes so quickly and in such unexpected ways. Yesterday my brother told me his healthy looking girlfriend has a huge brain tumor - we are trying to get her to Memorial Sloan Kettering sometime today. She'd had a bad headache for days so he made her go to the local ER yesterday morning. It is not believed to be cancer, but who knows. Like Teri, she is doing a lot of deep thinking right now, and trying to organize her life, just as Teri has. She's been handing off work, finding people to care for her teen son - luckily she has a big family - and her dog, as well as filling out healthcare proxy forms and medical directives. Suddenly wondering how long she has must be a terrible strain. I haven't had to face such weighty matters yet, but I have enormous respect and compassion for those who are doing so.
I think of you every day Teri and hope that you are feeling reasonably comfortable and also that your family is wholeheartedly supporting you right now and putting aside any differences from the past. Is the new hospice any better than the old one? Have they been able to help with your breathing problems? (((hugs)))
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Well just to update everybody, the new hospice wouldn't take me because they didn't like my insurance so I'm back with the old hopice but with a different nurse. We do what we gotta do.
And I'm determined to find Deuce now. Think I'll email my friend Richard next and get some clues.
Love all you guys. Hope you're pain and s/e free today!
Teri
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I hope your new nurse is nice, Teri! And I hope Richard gets back on that Deuce investigation. Why do I think he's lurking around your house and peeking at you? (Deuce, not Richard!)
Wishing you pain free days, and sending love...
Rose.
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Well! Humph. A pox on that other Hospice, and may the fleas of a thousand camels reside in their beards. How can any Hospice turn someone down? It doesn't seem possible.
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A pox indeed.. how rude! It seems incredible that they can turn down a patient. I hope the new nurse works out better and you have relief! Peace and Deuce sightings for you. Hugs!
Cindi
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Hang in there, Teri! Sending positive vibes your way.
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Hi Teri! I think I just saw Deuce in the audience on American Idol............
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deuce?
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Hi Teri!!! Oh phooey on having to go back to the same hospice I just hope that this new nurse has a better attitude.
I was just wondering?....................Nah.....it couldn't be..........could it????
Hope your day is a good one!!!
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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how is the new nurse?
Love the trams dimensional space goat!
Sounds like a good name for a band...
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Hi Teri,
Just stopping by your thread to say hello. I hope your new hospice nurse is great.
I was wondering what its like in your neck of the woods these days. Here in NJ we have gotten so much more snow than normal and its piled up 3-4 feet high everywhere and it won't melt. I'm tired of snow. I feel stuck in the house.
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Hi Teri! Hope you are doing ok today and settling in with your new hospice nurse. There used to be a fabulous lady on the boards named Konakat a few years ago who had names for all of her male nurses based on the Grey's Anatomy, like McDreamy, McHottie, etc :-) You'll have to come up with a few for your team, even if they're all ladies.
Ok, I am officially obsessed with goats now. This clip from youtube is hilarious - love the "demonic" goat and also Anderson Cooper ❤ He has the best giggle! This poor paperboy climbed a tree to get away and now his friends all call him "goat boy" oh my, can't make this kind of stuff up!
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I just had to share this video of talking goats. Cracks me up every time!!! Bob and Ed Talking Goats
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Hi Teri, how's the new hospice nurse going?
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Wondering how you are doing. I still can't believe the other hospice wouldn't take your insurance. Insurance has become such a problem. It's all money driven and people's needs are not taken into account.
Have you made any headway in finding out where Deuce might have gone? Did he slip out of a barn or through a gate, escape artist that he is? Has he headed for the mountains to join the wild goats living there?
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i don't know if this link will work for you Teri, but looks like Deuce might be opening a daycare in my area
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Hi Teri! Just checking in to see how you are doing before heading to bed........I have a big couple of days ahead as I'm taking a road trip to see my brother in Canberra for his birthday. The trip is going to take me two days of driving beginning in the morning....I'm looking forward to seeing him and his family as I haven't seen them for three years.....long time.
Take it easy and I promise I'll check and see if I can find Deuce on the way.
Love n hugs. Chrissy
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Thinking of you!!
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Good afternoon Teri, et al. No Deuce sightings here, but there was a terrific storm that came through last night and I was driving home just after the worst of it had hit, there were branches all over the roads, but no wildlife to be seen. Everyone had obviously taken cover for the evening.
You might ask: WHY would I be out in such weather? Well, I had the opportunity to hear Marjorie Suchocki speak - she is a process theologist and a wonderful speaker. Funny, thoughtful, uses LOTS OF BIG WORDS ... so definitely engaged my brain for a bit. Am paying the price with worse pain and fatigue today, but oh, so worth it! I was actually out until 10 pm (geez, that used to be starting time for evening activities when I was in school!).
Chrissy, you DO get around these days!!!! Seems like you are always traveling to or from somewhere! Have a wonderful visit with your brother.
Teri, is your mother still with you? and how often is your hospice nurse coming to check on you? My thoughts are with you, and I am sending you much lovingkindness.
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Well everybody, Monday night (or early Tuesday morning) Deuce's Auntie Pepper-Goat passed away in her sleep. She was awefully old. Maybe Deuce will come home for the funeral? I'll be looking for him. All you Deuce Scouts? Please take a moment the next time you see any goats and let them know to pass the word along to Deuce. No matter where he is in this world we should be able to get him a message, right?
Pepper was always my favorite. She took care of all the other goats after Deuce's mom died. She was tough when she needed to be and sweet when she wanted lovin'. She was one of a kind.
RIP Pepper-Goat
Teri
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Ah, Teri. Your description of Pepper tells me I would have loved her, too.
With sympathy for your loss,
Tina
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