Moving On......After the Flap
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floral patterned grapenuts...
fierce.....ASK for those antidepressants. Think of them as re-enforcements for the good things you are doing, like meditation. It is so often said, but so true..."asking for help doesn't mean you're failing, it just means you need more help". My lord, woman, I would have been on the "anti" a loooong time ago, given what you are dealing with!!! I see nothing wrong with adding something to your "weaponry", that helps you.
I saw the first red-winged blackbirds of the season yesterday evening. First heard their song, then spotted them around a pond. Everytime I see a bird now, I think of you.
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Some say they can't be seen.
Some say they can't be heard.
But I know that there are angels
with every song and flash of bird.
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Fierce - I'm on team Nihahi! Fill up on your 'weaponry', and get something to calm your mind.
I'm not pro-pill at all, and even though I love Ativin and morphine, I only take or recommend them when it's absolutely necessary. I'd say that now's the time. I believe that stress is far worse for your body than a chemical substance. Stress is the worst, and I think it gets in the way of healing.
I also highly recommend my other secret weapon, Belleruth Naparstek, and her guided meditations. Without downloading her mediations, this big sucky stressed-out baby would never have made it through surgery. She has mediations for 'Well Being' as well. My sister listens them to get to sleep.
You've been through so much, you deserve a some help.
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All Manuka honey comes from New Zealand so you won't find it any cheaper locally. Amazon is probably your best bet. It's more of a medicinal and antibacterial product and is rated for it's potency. The price goes up with the stronger rating. I didn't know people used it for facials. But it seems it's all the rage now. Wish I had stock in it.
I asked my doctor about antidepressants and she said it takes two months for them to become effective. Maybe I should push her into it. I do have ativan and xanex for the days I have testing but feeling really washed out and sad all the time now.
This was probably discussed before, but is there an antidepressant that keeps the wolves at bay without making you feel spacey or disconnected? Actually both of those would be good!
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I did a search for Belleruth Naparstek and I need all her CD's!
Sleep, pain, surgery, cancer, post traumatic stress.... okay, not the pregnancy and childbirth one.
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Ok, I am terrible at making decisions anymore. I picked the general wellness one because it has a kayak/canoe pic on the cover.
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FBB, I love your little poem, and agree that you are a most worthy candidate for an antidepressant. CD's sound very good too. Just knowing that you're taking something will help you trememdously already, and in my experience it helps within weeks.
Bosum, you should have seen me after chemo - dried old prune describes it best. Drink lots of water, eat well, and relax. Your skin will fill out again, and in a few months' time you will look way better than now, I promise.
Here's Emily and her dad last night. According to DD she smiled and gurgled her way through the story.
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So cute!!! Look how alert she is!
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Oh, Liefie, what an adorable picture! Em looks so happy and engaged.
Fierce, I can't imagine the spot you are in but you are still wanting to take care of yourself and you have a sense of humor so that is good. Effexor (sp?) has been recommended to me but I don't know how it makes you feel because I haven't taken it yet....I don't want it to mess with my sex life that I hope to restart one of these days. I know some antiDs interfere with some antihormonals. I would be trying one out, regardless, if I were in your shoes. Are you able to get out in nature at all? I was reading your signature lines and it sounded so peaceful. Hugs and prayers for you, my friend.
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Fierce, a couple of months after I was diagnosed my MO recommended an antidepressant after I told her I was either sad or scared all the time. I tried Effexor but it made me sleepy and nauseated. Paxil was the ticket for me, and it sure didn't take MONTHS to take effect. In a week or ten days I was feeling a whole lot better. Like a dark shade of grief and gloom had been lifted from my eyes.
Liefie...gorgeous picture. How adorable. And she's so alert! I read to Aubrey all the time and she seems to love it.
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I had to share this with my sisters because we all make a difference! As just being one of us can make a difference. My daughter tells me I have an odd sense of looking at the world. Yes, I do and always have. Hope you all enjoy this one!! Kat
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Kat-ski, I've read the Starfish story before, but it remains such a profound lesson. Thanks for sharing!
FBB, I had to take an antidepressant 13 years ago when diagnosed with a major depression. Within 2 weeks I felt so much better just like Sbe, and it just kept getting better from there. Took one small pill a day for a year, weaned off it, and have never been depressed again. Not even bc could put me back where I was in 2001. Jeannie's advice about getting out in nature is excellent too.
Sbe, SIL has been trying to read to Em for weeks now - lol - and was becoming quite discouraged that he got zero response from her. Telling him that she was still too little was not what he wanted to hear at all. So this is truly a major milestone for him and her. Wish I was a fly on the wall . . .
Jeannie, I'm impressed with your plans re: restarting your sex life. Yes, it is just one more aspect of life that gets seriously messed up by bc, isn't it? Mine came to a screeching halt with diagnosis, and we've pretty much been in a holding pattern most of the time since then - lol. I think our men have a very hard time with the aftermath of the whole drama. Maybe you can give us some tips in September? Or a lecture? Or we can have a discussion - we are all adults, right?
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Haha, Liefie! I said I HOPED to restart it one day. We talk about it a lot, in a good way, so that's a start. It's good to know I'm not alone in this particular challenge.
Kat-ski, I have heard that story before, too. Good message and I love walking on the beach! One of my peaceful places. The beaches here, though, are on the Puget Sound. I like the waves of the Pacific better for that peaceful feeling.
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FBB - Zoloft worked for me and has an anti-anxiety effect as well. Took about 2 - 3 weeks. Even prozac takes in 2 - 3 weeks. I think your doctor just doesn't want to go that route and you might need to give her a nudge.
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Fierce, Effexor is my anti-depressant all the way. Never depressed in my life until the plate just got too full in 2006. For me it is anti-anxiety. I have ALWAYS been a worrier, but not since about November of 2006. I still take it because I deal with things so much better now. What a relief. I needed a little Xanax to help when making all the FBC treatment decisions. Only a few for a couple of weeks.
I agree that it didn't take 2 months. Maybe two or three weeks, but it was so worth it. I know different ones work better for different people. Find a good psychiatrist if necessary. You are dealing with way too much!
Kat-Ski, thanks for the starfish story!
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Yes, sex! Let's talk about sex! My DH and I have always been...hot for each other...but throw together aging, menopause, Femara, an altered body image, and fear of hurting me, and things get complicated. But all the moving parts work; it seems to be a matter of everything working at the same time.
Kat-ski, when I finished my 20-year career as a flight nurse, I took myself to Tiffany's and bought a starfish pendant. It reminds me that I made a difference, one hurting person at a time. It's a great story.
My son--the contract analyst--is moving from California to Virginia tomorrow, and we're having a farewell dinner here tonight. He is gorgeously handsome and looking for wife material. It's my prayer that he finds a lovely companion in Virginia who wants to live in California. I'm already missing him, but I want him to be happy and fulfilled, and if he needs to be in Virginia for that, then I guess we'll see Washington D.C. on our vacations!
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Sbel, exactly, on the sex! Referring to your earlier post re:Paxil, I tried it once but stopped because of the sexual SE. That's why I haven't tried a different drug. With everything else going on, that would add more stress! I sympathize with your son moving so far away. You know what it's like to have a child in Ann Arbor, like me. And I have my two precious girls -DD and DGD-- in SDiego. I am going to have more family there than anywhere else soon, a great place to visit. What a unique way to remember your important years of service. I love it. Doesn't compare to my F$&K Cancer necklace.....
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since we are talking about sex.... I'll chime in here! I told my husband we had to have sex before I go back for my annual GYN exam because she was encouraging me and giving me some potions for the Tamoxifen dryness. I don't want to disappoint her. Lol
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mammalou, go for it, girl!
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mamalou - dryness potions? Care to share their names. Time is not on my side
.SBE - DC can be fun. I do hope he finds his love there, but am sure he will miss you and his twin.
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Dear FBC Sisters.....I have missed this SO much........it is AMAZING just how quickly a 97 year old body starts to REALLY fall apart.......life has been ....difficult......
Today I was the recipient of a wonderful (and very beautiful) flower arrangement from.......I don't know who.......but have my suspicions that the culprit might frequent this thread! If so, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! From the bottom of my heart.......it really was a great pick-me-up......and the message was so sweet...but, NO NAME attached!
I will be surprised if my mother lives through the summer......which will be a relief -even for her!
FBB-go for the anti-depressant.....I was on Prozac 24 years ago for post-partum depression....and like Liefie, even my brush with FBC wasn't enough to knock me back down........
This new diet is amazing......down 15 lbs.....and counting, but when the fat on my foobs starts to disappear.....it's OVER......
Ahhhhh...sex....the mythical creature akin to a unicorn?
Cherrie-love the picture....I will post one of me and my diminutive PS......heading back in after I return from Ft. Collins ..... Leaving tomorrow, and I REALLY need a break!
I may not post, but I think about you all constantly.......
Sending Movie (((hugs))) and kisses......
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movie, you are very deserving of the flowers. (it wasn't me, but I'm just sayin'!) So happy someone thought to send them.
Love the starfish story.
I was wondering if there was an AD without the side effects of weight gain, loss of libido, etc. I read that Wellbutrin is supposed to be pretty good regarding fewer side effects, but not as effective with the anxiety and depression. I think my doctor is just worried about new complaints or problems and determining if it's from medication or not.
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Fierce.....That may be the thinking of your doc, but then shouldn't she discuss that with you??? Seriously, I have never heard of antidepressants taking several months to show effect, and regardless if for some reason that was the case for you....wouldn't that mean it's time to get started???? I was on some AD years ago, and I think it was maybe 2 weeks, before that deep dark "shroud" started to lift. However, I think I actually felt some relief, and less burdened the minute I had the script in my hands. It just made me feel like "help was coming", and that made a huge difference for me. I guess I would be thinking why not try, starting them doesn't mean you are committed to them forever.
Wonderful attitude, I'm sure your son feels the love and support of his whole family. I hope indeed, the move brings him life long happiness, and maybe back to CA someday
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Movie, how wonderful that you received flowers! You deserve a truckload! You are so giving to everyone else...I hope your trip is very refreshing. Love you.
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Movie, enjoy your six days away. You so deserve a break! Have a good rest, and come back refreshed. Still remember when my father passed away what a strange sense of relief I had, relief that he was free of the Alzheimers that he had been struggling with for nine years, and that he could finally be at peace.
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movie....travel safely and for once, let your daughter be the care GIVER. Sleep peacefully, eat healthy (which it sounds you are), breathe deeply, relax! Many hugs kiddo.
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Hello ladies
Been MIA for a few weeks. My sister Wanda lost her battle to fbc. She was dx at stage 3 in 2009. After one year of chemo and radiation, she stopped traditional medical treatments and decided to leave it in God's hand. We were fortunate that we were able to be with her during the last couple of weeks because she usually did not want to worry us. Even the out of town sisters were able to be here for her. We will always love her and are at peace with her decisions.
I am now trying to find out everything I need to do to get dad out of creaky old house and into a nice senior apartment. Then I will return focus to me -- scheduling remaining surgeries/procedures for breasts and planning retirement.
I have not had time to catch up on reading.
Fierce - you are always in my prayers. Bosom- hang in there.
Hugs to all
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Oh Gwenny, so sorry to hear about your sister. It is wonderful that you all could be there for her during her last few weeks. This must be so hard for you and your family, and I will keep you in my thoughts/prayers. Big hugs to all of you.
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Gwenny...I'm so sorry. You and your family are in my prayers. Katy
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Gwenny, my deepest sympathies to you and your family. What a blessing that you could all be together, supporting one another and your sister. I'm sure that meant the world to her. I'm glad that you are at peace with her decisions, too. My brothers and I are trying to get my parents into a senior apt., too, so I know what you are talking about. I hope you take good care of yourself during this stressful, busy time. Love and hugs.
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