Moving On......After the Flap
Comments
-
oops....should have caught up on the posts, before "posting"......deb..don't want to overlook your messages. You are just as important to us, as we are to you....we are all in this together.
Thanks, cherrie.....I can't wait to get back to the real trails.
0 -
FBB that was such good news to read! You are so much in our thoughts and prayers. Jeannie, maybe now just wasn't the best timing for your DH's new job. We all know the right one will come along at the right time. Cherrie, those grand kids are so precious. Sbel, welcome back. Jeannie and Movie, it is so hard when the parenting falls to the kids. You also see how life's treasures are tossed away. I pray for strength for you both.
Deb, you are sounding much better. I think you are going to get things under control. Goldie, it's good to hear from you. You sound good for only being a few short weeks from stage 1! Nihahi, love those pictures. I'm relating to how you felt a few weeks ago. I had lipo, fat grafting, skin grafting of areola, and nipples yesterday. It was the one year anniversary of my bmx. It is amazing how fast a year goes by. I feel like I've truly been cancer free for a year!
Cindy, I can so relate to the thinning hair and thickening waste line with Femara. Your picture is so cute. It doesn't look like your hair is thinning, but I understand too well how you can tell it is and no one else can. I didn't have chemo, so I didn't have the total hair loss. I'm afraid this one is more permanent. I'm going to Hair Transitions to do something about it. I guess I'm too vain to be trying to pull hair from everywhere trying to make it look okay.
I have a question for our friend's son with testicular cancer. He will be having chemo. I think I remember some of you talking about different things you took to lessen the SEs like neuropathy. Any information you have is greatly appreciated. I hope everyone has a nice Memorial Day weekend. ...Julie
0 -
I hope all of you are enjoying this 3-day weekend. I love this kind of weather where it is sunny, just warm with no humidity!! I just wanted to share this short video about "warm and fuzzy" video. It is sweet to see someone take the time out of their busy day and do a kind thing for God's creatures
0 -
jbloom, look into both glutamine and alpha-lipoic acid. My MO recommended both, and although I can't recall the dosage, I thought it helped.
Some MOs will allow icing of hands, feet, scalp, etc. during chemo, others won't. There's actually a lot of anecdotal experience on icing here on bc.org--google "icing during chemo" and see what you find.
Blessings and blue skies--sbe
0 -
Hi everyone, I read everything, but I'm still in South Africa, and will just do a quick update. Mom's funeral service was on Wednesday, and it all went well. Just grateful that it is over now, and that she is now free of pain and suffering. I'm in Cape Town, and will be leaving tomorrow night. Should be home by Monday late afternoon.
FBB, so happy for you. You sound great!
Jeannie, hang in there. You and DH are such a good example to the rest of us . . . I hope/pray something good will happen for him soon. Big hugs to you!
Everyone else, all the best to you. Will be back here once I am home again.
0 -
Thinking of you liefie, and sending hugs to all.
Bike ride with hubby today....20 km, with some HILLS!
0 -
Nihahi- FANTASTIC!
0 -
Beautiful pictures,as always, Nihahi. Thanks for sharing!
0 -
Bosum.....why not listen to your sister, (who sounds amazing btw), and to others who have seen you "as is"....and just go forward without the wig. Give it to mom or someone else to hang on to for awhile if you can't completely part with it, but I bet not having it around will be another way to put the tough stuff behind you. Now that you have hair again, (different though it might be)....may I gently suggest the wig is something that might be "holding you in the past"?
Learning to recognize the "new version" of us, is a challenge we all have faced....it's a huge emotional hurdle, but it is pretty empowering once you learn you can successfully exist in the present, instead of trying to cloak yourself in the past. It takes so much energy to try to hang on to what was......save your time and energy for "here and now"....it might surprise you how much better you feel. (((((X)))))
It might also show hubby he needs to deal with you as a woman of strength, instead of the dependent woman he thought he could destroy. Imagine how he might feel, if he had the truth....that you have made it through BC....on your own.....and are still standing. Maybe he'll realize it's time to stop harassing you, since you obviously CANNOT BE BEATEN!!!!!
0 -
I am just popping in to wish all you Yanks a wonderful Memorial Day, filled with fun and family, and heartfelt respect for the members of the military whose sacrifice "created" this day. My dad was a WWII vet....and my small hometown always had very moving ceremonies on Memorial Day. I grew up with the family tradition of planting flowers on the family graves for Memorial Day, and Dad always made sure we spent some quiet time at the Soldier's Circle in the cemetery. He made sure we understood at an early age, what it's significance was to our lives.
0 -
Bosum- Nihahi couldn't have said it better. Walk into that courtroom proud of your strength and the woman you are. We will all be there with you.
My father whom I miss so much.
My father in law. Miss him too.
0 -
My father served in WWII when he was only 18. He saw unspeakable things, buddies dying, he was wounded, he could smell the concentration camps, he was a guard during the Nuremberg trials of Hitler's evildoers. He is my hero and I am thankful for every soldier and veteran for keeping us free.
I am home, exhausted. The sorting and packing was intense for three long days but DH and I got it done (my brothers played tennis and went to the dump...) My parents handled it all really well. They both have some confusion and forgetfulness but they seem ready to move into the San Diego facility, thank God!
Of course, our minds were so preoccupied down there that the anxiety about our own lives eased for a few days. Now that we're home, it's back. If DH doesn't get a job in June, the house has to go up for sale. There are no more unemployment extensions, thanks to Congress. We will be fine if that happens. It's just hard not knowing where to go...DH does have impt. interviews this Friday with a company so that's good.
I've read everything here and send my best to everyone. Just can't comment on it all. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
0 -
Bosum- you are going to do fine. I want to see your pic without your wig. Your eyes will come to life and your strength will be seen. My daddy died 20 years ago go lung cancer. He joined the Navy at 17 and graduated from high school when I was an adult. He was on oxygen then. He is my hero too. I felt so loved. Miss him.
Jeannie- it is exhausting to take care of and make decisions for aging parents. You have already done so much. They will adjust. Change is so hard on everyone. I know how stressed you are right now with so much on your plate. Take care my friend. We are all thinking of you and hubby.
0 -
BB - short dark curls, cool dangle earrings, painted toes and new lipstick - what a hot momma you are getting to be. Be fearless. Be fierce. Your ex can only hurt you if you let him. It can take many of us a really long time to stop picking the wrong guys. It's your turn now. As you become aware of things done in the past you can avoid repeating. You are a strong, beautiful woman. Bullies don't pick on people who won't let themselves be picked on - don't react! Listen to Nihahi and to your sister. Be the fabulous woman that your daddy raised you to be. So put on your best girly clothes, alluring yet not exposed, and scare the stuffings out of your ex with your new attitude and your beauty. If he mentions the short hair - just tell him it is always good to get a new cut when you shed an old dude.
Okay, I do have to ask - why traction in yoga (especially for a beginner). Please be careful.
0 -
no worries, marty.....I'm pretty sure bosum's teacher just meant so she didn't slip on the mat. Most yoga mats are referred to as "sticky mats", because as your feet get sweaty, you tend to stick to the mat....which is a good thing. Socks take away the "traction", so it is always normal to do yoga barefoot.
0 -
Bosum, I always enjoy your posts so much because of your total openess and honesty - so refreshing! You so deserve to be happy, and Marty, Nihahi and others have given you wonderful advice. I'm not a great fan of Dr Phil, but he always says one thing that I took on board years ago, and apply in my own life, 'You teach people how to treat you.' Refuse to take nonsense/abuse/whatever from anybody, and calmly stand your ground. You are a kind, beautiful and dignified woman, and things will work out for the best. As for that crazy friend and her yoga demons, put it down to lack of knowledge. There is nothing negative about yoga at all - I'm just sorry I did not start doing it many years ago. As for the work in the hospital kitchen, work is work. It is nobody's business to judge someone else's job, whatever that job may be. 'There but for the grace of God go I' - one should never forget that, and always try to put yourself in somebody else's shoes before you utter any uncalled-for opinions.
Growing up in South Africa, I always knew that SA had fought on the side of the Allies in WWll. In our town there were several people who had been fighter pilots in the RAF during the war, and I still remember the awe, admiration and respect in my father's voice when he spoke about them or other people who had been soldiers. Memorial Day is a time to reflect, and to appreciate the sacrifices that were made for us. The photos of the dads that were posted here brought tears to my eyes.
Jeannie, I met your DH only once, and he is an awesome person. Maybe there is something much better waiting for him down the line, and I firmly believe that something will come up. Big hugs to you guys!
Arrived back home safe and sound yesterday afternoon after my 12-day whirlwind trip to SA. It was so good to be with my family during this time. It's the weirdest thing, but as the oldest I am starting to feel a responsibility towards my three siblings as if I am the mother now. Want to hug, protect and hold them close. Youngest sis is 17 years younger than me, and I wish I could be of more practical help to her. She has 3 young children, and is struggling to balance the demands of her job, household, husband and kids. She was also the one who looked after my mom's affairs, always doing a pretty good job. She's always been a very organized, together kind of person, but she has put on a lot of weight since December when I saw her last. She seems overwhelmed, does not care about the state of her house as she did before, hardly ever cooks, and they live on unhealthy takeaways. She does make sure that the kids' schoolwork is done, and spends a lot of time on that. I took over the cooking and cleaning, and the three kids all hugged me, and told me that they love it when I'm there, because I make nice meals for them. I think my sis may be depressed for some reason, and spoke to her DH who agreed with me. I am worried about her. Always something, eh?
0 -
Cindy, I love, love love your picture, and what it symbolizes. It certainly is powerful, and something to remember. Thanks!
0 -
cindy....
very much!welcome home liefie......love and hugs.
0 -
Bosum - Sounds like you're getting a
lot of good feedback these days. It sounds like you can be hard on
yourself, so I hope you're allowing yourself to believe that these compliments
are all true. Sometimes an identity crisis is the best thing in the world
because it allows all your comfort zones to be busted open an rearranged. But
sometimes in an identity crisis it's also hard to feel any confidence, and it's
clear that your sister and the outside world things your looking fabulous. So
believe in what they say. Of course you look young and hot! To add to that, I think that you sound strong, and
resilient and pretty amazing. I would love to see a picture of you with your
short hair.Jeannie - You and your family are such a fine example to us all. Things will work out, and you will have a good life. I hope your husband knows what a big fan club he's got here at BC.org, and that a whole lot of ladies with flat tummies (flat-ish) are cheering him on. I've never met either of you, but I believe in you wholly, and your happiness is very important to us all.
0 -
Hello! Back from an impromptu family reunion weekend. It was wonderful. Will try to post more later.
Great pics!
Nihahi, you need to do a coffee table book! Awesome pictures. And being a wild mushroom lover, was fascinated by your "Devil's urn" mushrooms!
0 -
Hi all,
I have a question for all my Canadian friends on here. Which surgeon did you use and where? There is a woman I talk to on another forum and she lives in Halifax. It's a 3 1/2 year wait for a diep flap with a Dr. Williams, the only diep surgeon in her area. She is BRCA positive. Had one incidence of bc on the left side, then found out she is BRCA positive, so I guess they figure no rush. But, 3 1/2 years? Really? So, now she is calling around trying to find a surgeon who might be able to do it sooner. She was thinking of coming to the U.S. until we told her how much it would cost out of pocket.
0 -
Jeesh, my nerves are so frayed. Normally, I am pretty mellow, go with the flow but today my mom and brother called from my parents' near-empty house to whine, "There is so much to do! So much to sort through!" Nothing could be further from the truth! Not only did we pack almost EVERYTHING but the clothes on their backs, we marked it and moved it to the garage for the movers to pick up! I even left a one page to-do list for my brother because while he is super-intelligent, he is not a clear thinker/planner. Granted, my brother will have plenty to do in San Diego with them, but when we were there, he played tennis with my other brother, hiked with my sis-in-law....good grief. To top my day off, my PCP's office called to tell me I needed to get my mammogram! I had my BMX over two years ago and have seen my PCP multiple times since then! I just had a glass of wine, ate a piece of chocolate and will take deep breaths. I know I just need some rest. We worked at the food bank yesterday and today and I gardened this afternoon while the sun was out. I'll try to spend my hours tomorrow in a more peaceful way, although gardening gives me peace and joy. It is tiring, though. Thank you for all your kind words. They mean so much and I will share them with DH.
My best thoughts and wishes go out to all of you, as always. Please keep DH in your thoughts and prayers for his big interviews Friday.
0 -
jeannie......my words to your siblings would be.......unprintable......I think you found the perfect antidote to their "predicament"....garden....chocolate....glass of wine.....deep breath! You gotta know we are ALL pulling for things to turn around for you and hubby.
fierce....we find lots of mushrooms and fungi up here...and take lots of pics....I'll keep that in mind for you. The little black ones I just posted are called "Hairy Black Cups" up here. I'm going to post a pic of something really neat I found last year in Glacier Park...hope it makes you smile.
We know these as "Indian Pipestems".
0 -
Jeannie, you are always in my prayers. If I were you, I would have more chocolate!
0 -
Jeannie - I did have to laugh when I read about your mamo reminder. I had a breast MRI about a year before my DIEP (mind you my BMX was 26 years before). They were checking for leaks in the implants. I received a personal call a week or so later from a very perky gal who proudly announced "You don't have cancer". All I could think was "duh, I don't have boobs".
0 -
goldie....forgot to answer your question. My PS is David McKenzie, Calgary, Alberta. He does his flap recons at Foothills Hospital. There are at least 3 PS in Calgary doing flaps, with at least one extremely experienced one who is winding down his own practice a bit, but assists the others. The typical wait for initial consult (they don't tend to do flaps as immediate to my knowledge here- but I could be wrong about that...just haven't heard of any), is about a year, once the referral has been received. Stage one taking at least another year out, if not longer to schedule. Your friend would be looking at likely a longer wait, as I don't think they would "bump" an out of province patient, when the wait list here is so long already. Of course, they may, if there were "special circumstances", but it doesn't sound like that would apply. I also don't know if her Nova Scotia health coverage would cover her here, because she theoretically, can get the same surgery in Nova Scotia. It's a very different system up here, there is a lot less "shopping around" for surgeons, because there just aren't as many, there are fewer hospitals, OR times, etc. Thankfully, the ones here in Calgary are all very well trained, and very good. The other PS here that I am familiar with and would highly recommend is William de Haas. I'm not that familiar with the third PS, couldn't tell you the name, but, I could find out for you.
0 -
Goldie - the names of the surgeons in Toronto that perform DIEP include Dr, Hofer, Dr. Zhong, Dr. O'Neill, all from University Health Network, and Dr. Lipa from Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre. But like Nihahi mentioned, I'm not sure how easy it would be someone to have the surgery out of province.
Ridley
0 -
Thank you for the surgeon names!!!! You guys are the best.
BTW....interesting about it being hard to go out of your Provence. I would think since Canada has one big health care system that you could go anywhere you want.
0 -
Jeannie, holding you tight.
0 -
Goldie-- you would think that is the case, but health care in Canada is, for the most part, a provincial responsibility.
Jeannie -- fingers crossed for your husband that these next interviews seal the deal for him.
Ridley
0
