Moving On......After the Flap
Comments
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Jeannie how are your parents? Has their anger eased? Praying for them and you.
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even worse for dogs than chocolate are raisins! Puts them into kidney failure very fast. We learned the hard way when Eli helped himself. Also no grapes, onions or mushrooms. Movie-I am so sorry!
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I'm feeling a little better today with these abdominal binders. Thank you MartyJ for the advice. But I noticed yesterday I'm itching on my abdomen under the binders. Anyone else experience this? When I took them off to shower this morning, I didn't notice a rash or anything. I put hydrocortisone cream one belly and put the binders back on. Seems like the itching gets worse as the day goes on.
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Thanks, Bailey, for asking. They aren't mad at me anymore but they cry a lot now. I apologized for hurting their feelings. As it turns out, the week before, we had sent some money to them (with a nice thank you note) that they had given us during DH's unemployment that we hadn't asked for nor needed. They received it the day after our hard convo. I think that helped ease things and I'm grateful for that timing! I think they are crying because maybe they are realizing that their kids won't help them move and they can't do it themselves. They can't think clearly enough to organize it themselves. My brother, who is with them every day, and I have not brought up the move and neither have they. If they do bring it up, he will tell them he is keeping the car and car keys. Also, the apt. complex will alert him if they try to make a move. I am sure my mom knows a move is not the right thing. She is crying because my dad wants to move and he's so miserably unhappy. He hasn't made any effort to adjust to life there. Sigh. Maybe when my butt heals I will head down into that pit of despair, we'll see. Right now, I can't imagine sitting on a plane! I really just want to enjoy life for at least a little while but there always seems to be a rock in the way. I'll keep climbing---carefully. On the bright side, DH gave his first presentation to the execs at his new company and they applauded! They are so appreciative and supportive. I am so happy for him.
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RHGSR, I had a tight binder after my June 4 surgery and didn't know they had stuck several tegaderm adhesives under it, to hold on the drain tubes and pain ball tubing. I'm pretty allergic to tegaderm adhesive and before I knew it, my abdomen was covered with poison-ivy-like dermatitis. I got all the tegaderm off of there but the allergic reaction was already in full swing. Talk about miserable. My PS prescribed a strong cortisone ointment and I took Benadryl, too, since I was just parked on the recliner at home and could sleep. But what I REALLY wanted to do was scratch, scratch, scratch.
Sometimes itching comes about just because of dry skin, but no matter what it's cause by, icing the area will help a lot. Relax in the recliner and put a big old bag of ice on your abdomen. It should ease the itching.
Jeannie, sorry about the parents headaches. We want our folks to be happy and healthy, but there are so many bends and pitfalls in the road to very old age! I believe you're doing the right thing, and praying your dad will settle in and find friends and activities. Hope your bottom feels better soon, and YAY for the husby's job performance!
Bailey, glad your parents are home and the Mexico drama is behind them. I hope the healing for your dad is steady and uneventful, and he can walk on his new prosthesis very soon.
I got a pedicure yesterday--not at my favorite $$ spa but a little salon close to my office. They knocked off $5 because there was only one foot to pedi.
Like Nihahi, I lit two candles last night. One for FBB and her family, one last time...and one for us here, who are processing the death of a friend while refusing to let cancer take root in our hearts and souls (beautifully said, Bailey).
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Add grasshoppers to the foods mentioned already as being toxic to dogs, or at least small dogs. Last summer we thought it was funny when our mini schnauzer pounced on grasshoppers. My DH would say she got more protein, but mega bucks later and trips to our vet and two to the overnight intensive care got her through. Now, I go out with her and watch her like a hawk. We had previously lost a sweet rescue who had 7 rumors in her belly. She had no symptoms til just days before. There was nothing that could be done for her. She had been neglected and abused for 6 years but was dearly loved for her last year. I felt she knew that when I held her at the vet's for the last time. My sweet 16 lb furry faced girl has carried me through some dark times the past couple of years dealing with bc and other health issues.
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Teacher, I hear you. My little dog ate mushrooms in the lawn and had to be hospitalized. He also ate BBQ ashes which were full of fat and got pancreatitis. He's been an expensive little dog but such a comfort to me.
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A good friend that I have know since childhood lost a sister in law to fbc last year. I had only met the sister in law once because she had lived in Cal for most of the last 30 years. My friend did not tell me about the passing until a couple of months later when she had to inform me that her brother passed from lung cancer. You see her sister in law's name was also Gwenny and she was 4 years younger than me. My friend thought that it would scare me.
I think that no matter how hard we try, we will forever run into people or situations that remind us of the bad times and make us fearful of a reoccurrence. This disease just creates havoc wherever it goes and unlike all the other cancers it attacks us as women. To me, the worst part is the fear that it creates for our families. I still have 3 younger sisters, an adult DD, and a couple of nieces. Since my mother and one sister also had fbc, the chance of everyone else getting fbc has tripled. This really scares me but I feel that I can never show it.
I am the big sister, oldest daughter, single mom, senior employee, problem solver, and reliable friend. Rarely do I take the opportunity to express fear, pain or ask for help. I did not join a support group because I had family and friends to talk to who had gone through or were currently going through FBC treatment. Unfortunately, most of these women are just like me.
I now realize that this fantastic group of cyber friends has been a godsend.
I take solace in the fact the our Fierce Bluebird felt our love and support as she finished her journey on this earth. This is what we do for each other.
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My heart goes out to you ladies that are taking care of parents. It seems that giving up your independence is so hard no matter how much you know it is for the best. I sure pity my kids if they ever have to take the keys away from my DH. That will be a bad day.
Jeannie it is so good to hear how well your DH's new job is going. Our prayers were sure answered on that one. I hope your butt is better soon.
Gwenny, so sorry to hear about your friend's losses. You are so right about the fear it creates in our families and friends. I was telling my MO about FBB. She said we can let it go when it happens to someone that we have no relationship with. It is a different story when it is someone close to us. It makes us feel more vulnerable. The things we all have shared this past year have enabled us to form close relationships. For me, part of it is being afraid I will forget Kristine and I don't want to.
Have a peaceful weekend ladies! Love, Julie
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Jeannie - I got teary when you wrote that your Tom was applauded following his presentation. How is it that I can be so impossibly proud of a man I've never met?! I guess I just love him because he loves you and you've both worked so hard and deserve to be happy and having people clap for you. I'm clapping too. Yay for Tom, and Happy Birthday to your noobs!
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Was especially sad to hear this--Fierce BB was one of the nicest people on the planet. Here she was going through all this and she still found time to encourage all of us. How I dislike cancer. Maybe it made me wake up and smell the Folgers about what was important but Cancer, you are still not my friend. Tears on the keyboard. That is a loss and I am just grateful to have gotten to know her even a little bit. Thank you FBB for all you did for all of us.
When despair grows in me
and I wake in the middle of the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.
I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting for their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.Wendell Berry
from Selected Poems0 -
Ah, Janet, thanks so much. DH is my hero, that's for sure. He is a happy, friendly, optimistic guy who is also very smart. He has his priorities in order and I am one blessed woman!
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Cancer plain sucks-any cancer!! My dear friend Randy has prostrate cancer and is looking at 40 days of radiation. He had surgery and you can tell his health is suffering. I am so mad at this beast, I just wish I could strangle the life out of it. This is the only place I can come to to rant about Cancer and know I can do it freely. How can I stay quiet, I can not. It is that simple. Thanks for letting me vent! Love Kat
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Today..............."For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free."
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Nice bear statues, Nihahi.....so lifelike!
Yikes! I hope that was a looooong lens.
Very beautiful, thanks for sharing.
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Oh Movie. I am so sorry about your daughter's dog. Evidently, she was more than just a regular pet, and will be terribly missed as she filled a need for your family. I hope that there is a way to fill that void again soon. The loss of Bluebird is making everybody a little more aware and hypersensitive to everything, which is probably a very normal reaction. I found myself staring at a picture of Bluebird taken right before she was diagnosed, and crying not just for her, but for all of the women whose lives have been dramatically altered from FBC. It robs us all, and it robs some more than others.
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Nihahi, how lovely. Goldie, good to hear from you. How are you doing? Bailey, so glad your parents are home. I hope your dad is walking better than he ever has soon.
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in bed....relaxing after a colonoscopy today......
Goldie, I think you are right......I am hypersensitive right now, and Blue's death was a huge blow.....still hurting for her family....and will miss her quick wit here a LOT......you are right about DD's dog......he was specially trained to help her PTSD.......I am not sure how long I can stay silent......I know she needs to mourn her little friend, but she also needs a therapy dog.....SOON. She has been trained to train her own, and I am hoping that "her" new dog will just be there at the right time, so she can lose herself in training Otto's replacement........
Nihahi...thank you for the photos.....I SO needed them....it may be about the only way I'll see BEARS, or Beargrass at all this year........lovely! I did hike last Sunday, but my dog collapsed (did I already talk about this?) so I will be getting myself a new dog after my mom passes......I need a friend to hike with.....
Love you ladies, and SO looking forward to September!
XO
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Movie....have you lost two dogs in the last week???
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liefie HAPPY HAPPYBIRTHDAY! So glad you are here to celebrate and I do hope you are celebrating well!
Marty thanks for the inspiration!!!
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Nihahi, my husband is interested in photography and I showed him your pictures and he really enjoyed them, especially the bears! You truly are living in a little bit of heaven! And I agree, what kinda lens were you using.... eeeek!
Liefie, Happy Birthday! Hope it is a great one!
Regarding FBB, I guess we never know how much you can encourage others, she wouldn't even know me but she did inspire me a lot, as do all of you.
Today I am planning my menu for the week again, I have a lovely book called The Oh She Glows Cookbook. She has a blog and if you like vegan or vegetarian fare once in a while or always, so far every one of the recipes is yummy. Hoping to lose 7 pounds, that is the goal, but not through any quick fix but just eating healthy. I do feel great when I eat a ton of vegetables, and I bought that spiralizer thing which is fun, it was a big $14.99 at one of the kitchen stores. Sigh. I love food.
Stage 2 coming up soon for some of us, it is funny you just start feeling like things don't hurt any more and here comes another surgery, but thankfully so much simpler than initial one hopefully. I am not sure I am getting anything other than the Wilbur Buds put on but we will see.
Hugs to all and stay well.
Cindy
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Thanks, Nihahi, for more beautiful photos. I think we all needed that!
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Dark chocolate and bakers chocolate are really bad for dogs. But milk chocolate substantially less so. It would literally take 10 times more milk chocolate, than bakers chocolate, to harm a dog. And the smaller the dog, the less they can handle.
My big ol' basset ate some chocolate cupcakes and he was fine. He actually ate six cupcakes, but only two were chocolate. He also ate some candles.
Bosum - I'm always so tempted to get another dog too. They're such joyful companions - and so much more enjoyable than people. I'm even up for fostering, or dog sitting, but we have two cats that aren't so keen on the idea.
I'm sorry you're feeling fragile. But hope is good - it is the start of everything. 'As long as there's breath - there is hope' .
Nihahi - Can I come an live with you?
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Janet....what time are you arriving.....I'll put clean sheets on the futon! Anytime, ladies, anytime-----would love to have you drop by! I wish I lived where I hike, but, it's just an easy drive to get there.
The young grizzlies were on the side of the road, stuffing themselves with berries, and I was in the car. The car motor was even still running, just in case. It is just a little pocket camera, and a hard day for picture taking....very cold (tuques, mittens, hand warmers and every piece of clothing we could find in the car was the "look" for the day) and very very windy, so nothing is really in focus. But.....it was the kind of day I needed, and wanted to share with everyone.
Movie....I knew it would be "good" for you. hugs, my hiking friend.
Bosum....I'm sorry for your ongoing court stuff. I don't quite understand the legal system, and why things can't be finalized in some way for you. Is there a YWCA in your area???? I know that here they have women's support groups, etc....at low or minimum costs. Could that be a support resource for you??? However you choose to proceed.....I hope you find some peace and resolution to the whole thing.
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Aubrey is coming to visit today! We will go shopping for her birthday present--easy when she's just turning one--play in the sink, practice walking in the grass, take a nap, find bugs to taste, etc., etc,, etc. It's amazing how intensely curious she is.
Last week when she came for dinner we were in the garage "helping" grandpa change a bicycle tire. She fell in love with the tire on my Prius, and I said, "oh, well.." while she examined the lug nuts and tire tread, and covered herself in dirt and grease. Then momma came home early and we got busted before I could scrub her off!
When my boys were little, my dad said, "dirt on a little boy is like sugar on a doughnut." I hope that applies to little girls, too.
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sbelizabeth - how fun!! My neighbors brought their almost one year old grand daughter to visit yesterday. That age is so precious. I love the quote about little boys. I have 3 little ones and whenever I come home after an appointment and a sitter has them all dirty and starts apologizing for it. I always say that the dirtier the child the more fun they had!! :0)
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Saw this today and loved it. I hope you do, too.
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Thanks, Bailey.
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Bosum- I bet you were too a fun mom!! You wondering about whether or not you were ... shows that you were an amazing one!!
Do you have grandchildren? I look forward to being a grandma one day, although it will be a while as my kiddos are only 9,5,&2. But I see being a grandma as super fun. I imagine you get to enjoy all the fun stuff without all the raising part :0).
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just popping in.......pretty intense day with what's left of my mom.......
I will not go into it, but suffice it to say I would not win any "Good Daughter" awards today.......the week has just been too damn long......glad tomorrow is Sunday......after church I will sit around and do nothing!Bailey, in answer to your question about MY dog.....she is fine.....she is just a lazy, lazy, fat Lab, and I had NO business taking her out to hike.....she's quit on me before, just on walks around home......but this......this incident last Sunday was something to behold.........
So after mom passes, I am getting me a dog that likes to walk and walk and walk.......Kona the fat, lazy Lab can stay home and sleep. We'll both be happier that way!Otto had gotten into dark chocolate before, but evidently he consumed about an entire chocolate bar......the poison caused a seizure, which blinded him, and then that afternoon his kidneys failed......it was awful.....he had been her constant companion for almost 14 years. She still doesn't know how the chocolate came to be where he was able to reach it. She really needs a dog.......her PTSD stems from an incident where she was assaulted.....having a trained service dog is invaluable.....usually servicemen/women get first dibs on already trained animals (which she totally understands), but I am praying the right dog will find HER.......
Well...heading for bed...didn't sleep real well last night...for some strange (colonoscopy)!reason, I was bloated.....big time!
XO to you all!
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