Moving On......After the Flap
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I declare nihahi wins Jamie just for being brave enough to post a photo of herself from the 70s. There are just some time periods I would NOT want to travel back to! Disco roller skating anyone? I will even give you my "firefly" lights for the bottom of your skates.
Thanks Betsy! Still haven't started taxes yet!
Now I know where my pygmy goat's went! Bailey stole them!
Jeannie, Good luck to your husband!
Julie, if I were going I'd be happy to sit on that deck and watch the river all day with you.
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Yep, no scuba diving for me. Snorkeling should be okay, though! Someday....
Thanks for thoughts about DH. He is so great, always optimistic and cheerful. We never count on a new job actually happening until he is sitting at a desk. They have been yanked at the last minute in the past. Thankful he has good interviews ahead of him.
I get frightened when I look at pics of myself from the 70s-80s. For some reason, I thought my hair looked good in a tight round perm. There could've been animals living in my hair, there was so much of it!
Bluebird, how are you feeling these days?
Holy cow! The sun is shining, if only briefly! Hallelujah.
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Ladies, looking for some advice please. I went the route of tissue expanders/silicone implants after by BMX in 2012. Unfortunately, in November, my right breast incision opened on it's own and I had to have surgery to remove the implant. Radiation caused too much damage; not enough blood supply, etc. so after dissolvable stiches were gone there was nothing to hold it closed. What followed were two more surgeries due to a wicked infection. Finally had 21 days of daily IV antibiotics to clear it up. Needless to say, it's been quite disappointing. I now have to wait six months before considering any further reconstruction and my only options are flap surgeries (either DIEP or TRAM). I'm terrified of those as it seems the recovery is so long and surgery painful. Plus, I have to admit I'm so sick of surgery at this point I'm not sure what to do. On the other hand I'm not liking wearing a prosthesis and tend to wear nothing, just bulky sweaters and scarves. I can get away with this as it's winter, but I'm sure once warmer weather comes I'll be wanting to get something to match my other implant. Would love to hear from others on your thoughts. Thanks so much.
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Jeannie, I'm praying for the interviews to go well. God knows the right job. Hind sight shows me that. Walks are good. I'm not a hiker.
I'm anxious to see all of you that are in for September. Liefie, if you need someone to stir the pot or keep an eye on what's cooking I won't be far from the house.
Blue, come sit by me.
Maine, most of us have had flap reconstruction and would do it again. You can probably have DIEP and leave the muscle in place. I would do it again in a heart beat.
Later!
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Mainegirl, I'm sorry you have had such a rough time so far. While I can't predict how a flap surgery would work for you, I found it to be a lot less painful and easier to recover from than I imagined. It is a long process with multiple procedures so patience is the most important thing.
Julie, thanks! DH's interview today couldn't have gone better. He interviewed with the CEO on the phone and she wants him to talk to the COO next. If that goes well, he will go in and talk to them in person. Tomorrow he has in-person interviews with several people at another company. He is usually at the director level so it requires him to jump through lots of hoops.
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Mainegirl, I am so sorry you are having to endure such complications. My advice would be to let your body heal. You have time to decide how you feel later. I had immediate DIEP reconstruction after my BMX but would not do so again in hindsight. I did not have a good outcome and lost one of my flaps a month after a 12 hour surgery. I have a 25 inch incision on my stomach which I would gladly trade back my tummy fat for being able to feel again. It's the main reason I did not want to do an SGAP or TUG flap to replace my lost flap at this point in my life. I'm in the expansion process now to give me time to decide what I want to do and frankly another flap is not appealing at all. But my heart breaks for you since you are having to start all over like I did. But you will get there in time and you will know what the right decision is for you when your body is ready to try again. And if you decide not to put your body through more surgery, that's okay too. I didn't mind being flat. It was being one sided that bothered me most. In fact I almost decided to just have my flap taken off. Only you can decide what you are comfortable with. Hugs to you. You will get through this. It's just so unfair, but this too shall pass. Message me if you need to talk to someone who has been through this unique kind of loss.
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You may want to get some knitted knockers instead of a prosthesis. I hate my heavy silicone prosthesis!
Knitted Knockers Charities is a non-profit that exists to provide
free patterns for knitters and crocheters to be able to make knockers
and help mastectomy patients get freeKnitted Knockers made by volunteers.I
love my Knitted Knockers! They are light and soft and warm. Unlike my
silicone prosthetic which is heavy and cold when first worn, then it
later causes me to sweat.I wear my knitted knockers inside a
regular bra or tucked in the pocket of a mastectomy bra. They are
beautiful, and a godsend to those of us with an uneven mastectomy scar.
Knitted knockers website:
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Cherrie, your grandchildren are adorable. So happy you are getting some time with them.
Sweet, congrats on negotiating a good deal! Sounds perfect.
Jeannie, I have my fingers crossed for hubby's interviews.
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Jeannie- fingers, toes, and eyes crossed for your hubby! Good things have to coming your way soon!
Julie- Thanks, I hear ya, it is easy to get caught up in a project and lose track of time. Im keeping a voice recorded log of my time. I do think it will be more hours based on the scope of what they want though.
Mainegirl- I would do my diep again, I am very happy with my results now. The pain meds helped a lot and most people bounce back pretty quick.
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Mainegirl, my options were pretty narrow as far as recon. My RO was adamant about expanders--he wanted none in the way of my rads. So I had a umx, scraped down to flat skin, since there had been some BC cells in the skin of the breast. Then rads, which were aggressive, and left me burned, with thin, tight skin. I had no choice but to wait the six months for things to settle down!
After a year of being lopsided and dealing with a prosthetic, I had my DIEP. Yes, it's a long surgery, and the recovery took longer than my umx, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. I like the feeling that I have two "breasts" again, and don't have to deal with prosthetics. And even though they're stitched together and will never look like the breasts God gave me, they are soft, warm, and feel like breasts. For me, it was an added bonus that my tummy bulge, leftover from carrying a twin pregnancy to term, was gone. And my PS removed quite a lot of rads-damaged tissue during the DIEP, so that was nice, as well.
That being said...we're all different, and have different opinions and approaches to this. Blessings as you figure out your own path!
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You're all so nice to share your comments. Thanks so much. Bluebird, I love the 'knitted knockers'!!
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Hi everyone.....just returned from PS office.....last night I had some rather suspicious "grouty"-looking junk oozing out of my belly button....no pain, tenderness, or redness....but it smelled funky, and so I called him at 10 pm. He thinks it "was" a small seroma of the remnants of the liquified fat from lipo.....so now I get to "shower the interior belly button for several weeks with a hydrogen peroxide/water mixture......Yay. Fun. Times...........
Okay...the only reason I even mentioned it here, is to segue into my intro.....Would any of you September Rendezvous ladies want to have a Q &A while here with my PS? NOT because he is the greatest(Well, I think he's great, but you know what I mean-he's a warm body, and he's knowledgeable)....but because if there are post DIEP questions you have....he has said he would LOVE to meet you all, and have an informal "session". We may have to feed him dinner(otherwise....it's completely free).....He said he would drive up to Mt. Hood....Just an idea....we'll have Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday night....and it might be kind of fun....
jlBloom (AND everyone else).....no worries on the hiking.....I AM thinking of doing one easy hike - not much elevation gain....(I think 200 ft) but almost 7 miles. I really think any of you gals could do it....my 3 and 5yr. grandsons walked it. You can look it up: "Ramona Falls" it is a beautiful hike to take your lunch, and then eat it at the falls.......We can take as long as we want..... There is the Salmon river trail, which is easy, and then for those who want more adventure, I was thinking of taking them up on the Timberline Trail-part of the PCT (Actually, part of the Ramona Falls hike is also on the PCT) out towards Paradise Park.......Gorgeous! It is possible that the Lupine will still be blooming......smells wonderful!
Cherrie.....your GKs are adorable! No wonder you are gone from home so much! I might be too!
Maine-I personally would do DIEP again in a heartbeat......but each of us has their own story, and their own path.....when the time comes, you will know what to do. I will just say, in terms of time commitment, once the DIEP is done.....you are DONE.....no exchanging out implants every ten years or so.....THAT was the clincher for me! Best wishes on your decision-making process.
Sweet-glad everything is working out for you on the job front! Isn't that a wonderful feeling?
Jeannie, SO keeping my fingers, toes, and everything else crossed for your DH........
Sbe......are the trails too muddy to ride on, still? Or do you like the feeling of a wet mud stripe up the middle of your back?
Bailey.....so very happy your Dad is doing well! Such a relief for you! Keeping them in my prayers.....
Liefie......how is that precious new life you have been enjoying this past week? I got your email...no worries!
Nihahi.....are you frozen solid.....yet? XO
Blue...the door is open for you......LOVE to have you join us!
I am sure I have missed lots of you....apologies.....
Love to ALL!
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Deb- dang, so sorry that you lost your job! Hoping something else comes up for you soon
Movie- You must be totally over all the gunky stuff! Hope it heals up quickly for you. It is really nice to feel a part of again. I sent all my agents an email letting them know and what an outpouring of welcome backs I got. It was pretty cool.
I still have one side swollen from the side of my right foob, around to my back. Its weird, if you look atme from behind one side is bigger than the other. Hoping it shrinks away in time, not sure how they would fix that. Doesn't hurt which Im grateful for.
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Sweet, I hate to bring this up, but could you have LE? It can occur in your breasts, torso, etc. hope not!
Deb, NO! I am so sorry. I know you will get through this challenge, too, and we are here to cheer you on.
Movie, that sucks! It is no fun putting ointment, etc. on all the time and IMHO you have had enough! I could only stand to bandage my nips for three weeks. So tired of feeling like a "patient." You have my sympathies! I don't know how I feel about your doc talking to us. It's very generous of him! I have a feeling I will be wanting to "move on..." but I will go with the flow.
DH's interviews went well yesterday and today. He is pretty far along in the process with both but there are other candidates so we wait and see. He is encouraged which is always good.
I am in far worse shape than I thought! LiveStrong is kicking my butt! I am not sore, at least, just tired. The trainer keeps talking about LE which most participants don't have so that makes me uncomfortable. Evidently Shari Lebed of the Lebed Method exercises is a good friend of hers and a member of the Y and she is going to speak and lead a class. I will keep at it.
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hang in there jeannie.....it's a good thing you're doing. I still have everything crossed for hubby.
movie....ENOUGH with the healing issues girl.....good lord...THIS far out from surgery???? Hope you heal fast and completely.
I confess, I'm with jeannie on the mindset for Sept. I view the gathering as a chance to "bond in person" with each other, connected by what we've gone through, but not defined by it. Though I've no doubts there will be "flap talk", I'm not sure on what I personally would gain from discussing my scenario or my PS's work with another surgeon, as I'm not into the comparison thing. It's not like I'm going to go back in time, and have things "re-done" differently. It IS, though, a generous offer by your PS, and speaks to the kind of physician he is, and I bet after spending time with us, he would leave a more informed surgeon/physician, and that would be the true benefit....it would be OUR answers to HIS questions. I will defer to the majority opinion.
maine....have you visited the Diep threads??? I'm sure you would be warmly welcomed and supported there, too. Many of us still also visit those threads to offer our surgical experiences and support to women just having or considering their own flap procedures.
Cabin fever abated today!!! The warmer temps have reached the mountains!!!!! It dumped snow on us the whole day, but it was just heavenly being back on the ski trails. Nothing but fun and smiles and gorgeous scenery. We are going back again on Friday!!!!!
This is what 13 days until Spring looks like in the Canadian Rockies.
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Having just moved from the appalachian mountains Nihahi I have to say..... those are some mountains!!!!! Beautiful and so glad you were able to get out for a bit.
Jeannie- I though about that but I saw an LE doc a few months ago and they didnt say anything. I am going to keep an eye on it and bring it up to my pcp if it doesn't abate.
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with my children living coast to coast I am definitely on the move a lot. Thank goodness I am retired. The downside is, that at times, I feel "lost". Home isn't the same without my children/ grandchildren far away. I am feeling disconnected as I flit from VA, WA, FL and MI. I've come to the realization that I forgot about the me in me. I don't know myself as well as I thought. I am sure none of this makes sense. Although you don't even realize it, I draw from the strength that so many of you have. Nihahi (independent), Katy ( faith), Movie (generous), Bailey (thoughtful), Jeannie (perseverance), Zenful (grounded), Sweet (loving), etc. I know I have missed many, but wanted to let you all know you mean a lot to me and I think of you daily.
I know this was an odd post, as there is so much to be happy about. I was feeling 'lonely' so thanks for listening my friends. This isn't something I often do.
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Cherrie, we are here for you whenever you’re feeling lost, lonely, or directionless. It seems like you’ve been on the road a lot, and throw in the big old speed bump of BC treatment, and it’s no wonder you’re spinning a bit. You’ll figure it out…but in the meantime, pop into our support group anytime.
Movie…LOL…I would LOVE to invite your PS as our “guest speaker! I have a mental image of your learned physician surrounded by an audience of topless ladies. What a great idea, to invite him to come—I’m sure we’ll pick his brain so thoroughly he’ll think he left it behind at Mt. Hood.
Nihahi, I love, love, love your photos. I know you’re sick of winter, but for me, the beautiful stillness and purity of the mountains in the snow is breathtaking. We rode a trail on Tuesday evening, and there were a few puddles we had to duck—not easy in the dark, with just our lights!—but there were lots of hoppy toads and our favorite “squatty birds.” The birds, specifically, are “Common Poorwills,” and they’re adorable little guys that squat on the dark trail until they’re right under your nose, and then flap up in your face, scaring the pants off you. Good times.
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Oh, hey, Movie...be careful with that belly button; if you dig too deep all your innards will come slithering out. Keep a big mixing bowl handy. I'm a nurse and I know these things.
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cherrie- I felt like that coming out of BC, I spent so much time being a wife, mother and worker that I had no clue who I was. I totally get what you are saying. I wish I could reach through the internets and give you a hug!
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too late, Sbe......I had all kinds of things "slithering out" as you so graphically put it!
I thought it would be kind of fun to have him come....NOT to talk the technicals of DIEP....but to bend his ear about what we have all experienced.....at least HIS future patients might benefit (which is what I think he is thinking...where do you find a group of 10 women who have had 10 different experiences....?) Don't think he wants to see ANY of us topless! He is genuinely interested in how 10 women from all over came to be friends...when DIEP is the only common denominator. He told me yesterday that he does what he does b/c he loves seeing women's lives being transformed from living with cancer, to moving beyond it. Said he definitely isn't in it for the $$$-the insurance companies don't BEGIN to cover the actual cost/value....He's an interesting guy. I saw one of his patients results on a DIEP FB page.....incredible.....MINE don't look that good, but she's younger, and had nipple-sparing. However, it made me very happy to say he was MY surgeon, as well. ANNNNNNNNNND....I am very happy!
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cherrie......big hugs for you.....I hope you find some peace and contentment in "finding and grounding yourself in new ways". Any transition time of life can be hard, and as already been said...you've had a lot of "unwanted" changes .....bc, kids moving away, etc. I think we ALL see the strength in others, and rarely see that same strength in ourselves. You have what it takes in spades, girl, and until you "feel that" in yourself....HUGS!
sbe....I'm not sick of winter....I love days like yesterday and am looking forward to tomorrow. I DO hate it when it is brutally cold though, so I can't go out and play.
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This is for all of you still buried under snow......Pussy Willows!
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thanks movie....spring is coming....!
Anyone else planning on watching the Paralympics? I am in awe of what these athletes accomplish. Brings a whole new level of respect for the human spirit and determination to rise above!
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Pussy willows! I love them, and they don't grow in So Cal. Thanks for sharing!
Nihahi, I'm glad you can revel in the snow, and aren't discouraged by the lengthy winters you have up there. You must enjoy it when the temperature rises above the nose-pinching range and the skis beckon you. Do you always ski with a friend, or do you venture out alone sometimes?
Movie, your PS must be a true mensch. He wants to learn from our experiences, to enhance his understanding of what a life-changing procedure he performs for women. Can't wait to meet him.
I haven't ever watched the Paralympics, but I believe I will now. Truly the athletes are overcomers in every sense of the word.
Blue skies, everyone!
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woohoo.......getting ready for another play day!
sbe...ALWAYS with someone, when playing in the mountains. Skiing, shoeing, hiking, riding....You just never know what could happen on the trails. We are always amazed when we see people heading out on their own, often looking very unprepared for the trail, and later in the day. We've come across a few people over the years that were on their own and needed some help, even had one of us "go down" a couple times, once hiking, once skiing. It is tempting sometimes, when no one else is available...but.....never gonna do it.
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Hi girls, have read all posts, but can't respond now. Too busy being an Oma, and loving every minute. Going home on Sunday, will have more time then. Don 't know how I have to say good bye to little Em. She is a model baby so far, and only cries when she's hungry. Also hates to be bathed at this stage. I'm in love with the little body, silken hair and skin, tiny hands and feet. . . Okay, I've bored you enough. See you later! Jeannie, hoping/praying for that job.
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Oma! Love the handle, Liefie! When Aubs was born our son, who is ridiculously funny, said our grandma/grandpa names were Ling-Ling and Yip-Yip. ...snort...
Yes, what is it about grandbabes? I'm not a "baby" person--never have been--but when Aubrey popped out of her momma and sang her adorable little newborn song, it was like a light from heaven beamed down on me and an angel chorus shouted. She will always be my beautiful baby girl. I'm so sorry you have to journey back home and leave your little grand behind! Another trip, hopefully very soon!
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Love the pussywillows! Tried to plant some pink ones here last year but they didn't take. One of my favorite bushes! Brought some forsythia in to watch the yellow buds pop out. That'll have to do for now.
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Sbe, I've also always been more of a bigger-child person myself, that's why I taught High School, and not Kindergarten. But this is something else, a little slice of heaven, a joy, a privilege and a blessing that you cannot describe. I'm watching her while DD is taking a nap. She's napping too while I'm cooking supper. Every few minutes I go over to her, and just look at her while she sleeps. So precious.
All the best to all of you!
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