Stupid comments ....
Comments
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Whiskey Tango Foxtrot,,,, must remember that!! Thanks!Sula: YAY for those ladies of 20 and 27 years! Woot!
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I also hesitated to comment about the pronouncement that "God never gives us more than we can handle". But I will do so with all due respect. I detest that statement because it has been used for centuries to quiet the suffering...allowing tyranny, injustice and violence to prevail. Shame on mankind for blaming God for the suffering
MsP
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Someone will invariably tell me of someone they know that is a 20, 25, 30 year survivor. Now, do you think that is mainly the DCIS folks?
And they ALWAYS say "Did they get it all?"
Smh.
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Kris would have somebody to play with. Spookie would continue to boss both.
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jilly,
Well I'm a 25 yr survivor of TN back in 90 with a "poor prognosis" according to the doctors.... And yeah do you think they got it all? Good Lord
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I cannot tell you how many times I get that comment ...over and over...god only gives you what you can handle...I just nod and keep quiet.
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Once again, I have had to catch up. I was in a trial on neuropathy. I got an RX that zonked me out so I dropped it, then I was given these weird infrared thingies to wear on my fingers and toes. That made typing really hard and none of the voice recognition stuff on my computers could recognize my voice.
And my DP took me to 10 concerts since May. Some were 300+ miles away. So my ass has been dragging.
Shebelizabeth, the pearls are wonderful!
tjh, your granddaughter is a star!
Jazzy and Spookie and others, I don't get why in hell so many people feel compelled to tell us about every freaking person they've ever heard of who has had cancer and died. The last time someone tried that on me I said, "you know, I've met dozens of BC patients at my cancer treatment center and we are all alive. And there are close to 250,00 new cases of BC DXed each year just in the U.S.. But there aren't 250,00 deaths each year from BC. So what exactly is your reason for telling me about cancer and death?"
She replied something like " um, er, hm, I thought you might want to talk about it."
Me, "I'm not dying, nor is that my prognosis. Why would I want to talk about death? Especially to someone who doesn't know me well? Do you enjoy spreading gloom and doom or what?"
Her reply, "Well, there's no reason for you to get snooty. I was just telling you what I know."
Me, "So when Bob (a man we both vaguely knew) died, did you tell Ellen (his widow) about everyone else you've ever heard who was widowed?
Her, "Of course not!" (Said with much indignation and anger)
Me, "So why do that to me?
Her, "Well it's not the same and besides, no one teaches the rest of us what to say to someone with cancer." (stilled pissed)
Me, "So you need instructions from Emily Post? Common sense isn't enough?"
Her, "You weren't so nasty until you got cancer. I don't want to talk to you anymore."
So now we know God and sugar give us cancer and its side effect is to make us nasty. Not talking to her is definitely not a problem for me.
Course if she'd asked me to leave her something, it wouldn't have been a coat. A sock to the jaw maybe…
bride, concert taunts coming
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Bride,
You said it all
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LA Star and others, you said I should taunt you with my concert list. Okay, you got it.
If you think I'm rich (I'm actually as poor as a church mouse), I need to admit that I was given comp tickets for over 90% of the concerts. Here's the list.The Who, Judy Collins, Karla Bonoff with Nina Gerber, Mary Gauthier, Joan Baez, Emmylou Harris and Rodney Crowell (5 times), Allman Brothers, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (twice), Heart, Alabama Shakes, Blondie, Cat Power, Gillian Welch, Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings, Lucinda Williams (twice), Marcia Ball (twice), Jenny Lewis, Fleetwood Mac with Christine McVie, Rhiannon Giddens, Joan Armatrading (twice), John Fogerty, Roseanne Cash, Bette Middler, and the Rolling Stones.
My DP is a worse music junkie than me and from my DX until I finished radiation, that is, basically a full year, we went to no concerts. Nope, not true, we saw Marcia Ball while we were at the Hope Lodge and I was getting rads. My DP basically meant crazy: since May, we've been to 10 concerts. I'm dragging.
Backstage at the Stones/ Emmylou and me used pick given to me
I can taunt more if you'd like.;)
bride
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Bride -- I love it!!! So many of my faves on that list! I'm seeing Willie Nelson and Allison Krauss next week. I'm hoping that Richard Thompson will do a West Coast tour for his new album. And I could go hear Gillian Welch and David Rawlings every night. Those folks put on a show with such heart. Glad you are out enjoying summer!!!
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WOW, Bride!! That is an awesome list!! Good for you!!0 -
Bride - I am officially JEALOUS!!!!!!!
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I've been away for a while but I see the stupid comments haven't lessened any. I really have nothing to complain about at the moment, things are going well. I'm all healed from reconstruction, my stents have been removed from eyes and my tear ducts have (thankfully) not closed up again. BUT I have to vent: If one more person asks me about my hair, I may literally bite their head off! "Are you going to keep it short?" "Are you going to grow it long again?" "You should keep it short, you look better with short hair." "You know, so and so on Fox News had bc and she lost her hair to chemo and she's never let it grow long again. She looks much better that way." It seems everyone has an opinion. Oh my freakin' god! I have no hair plan. My hair isn't in danger of gowing long anytime soon - I have plenty of time to think about it. It's like they know I'm done with treatment and don't know what else to talk about. Sorry, I realize this is trivial but I had to get it out. I figure if anyone would understand, it would be y'all. Love and hugs to everyone.
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Gingercake,
After my first chemo 25 yrs ago I loved wearing my hair short, it was so much easier to take care of, I have naturally curly hair ( before and after chemo) and it was so easy to care for.... Until a friend said to me a few years later "when are you going to lose the chemo cut?" So I kept to short ( stubborn) because I liked it.
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Minivan,
yes, I've seen those stickers too, they make me crazy mad. Besides being cruel they are also false according to The Science, which a lot of those people have no respect for. PS: I went to Catholic school for 12 years, never had an abortion and have had BC twice. So screw them.
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Many religions have radicals that use their religion to advance their own agenda. Because a stupid person creates a stupid statement, and then put's it on a banner, doesn't mean that it represents all of those that are identified with that religion.
That bumper sticker was hateful and ignorant. It doesn't represent all Catholics.
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Minivan,
I know and the new pope is so cool, he has totally won my husband ( not Catholic) over. Hang in there
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Hi all!
(sort of new here or actually back from many years ago)
I was skimming this site today and had to stop to read some of these because I knew there would be some classics. One of my favorites so far is the "I don't have a hair plan" I think people don't know what to say so they ask about the hair - but that response is awesome!
Ok, so here are my favorite top 3 comments from the last 19 years:
1 )Handwritten in a card to me from my husband for one of my cancer survivor anniversaries: "Life is short! Live life to its fullest"
2) In a discussion with my husband about my fears of cancer and not living forever he says "Well, we're all going to die sometime - I could be hit by a truck tomorrow!" .......Me: "Right, but I already have a bit of a known potential head start"
3) Was newly diagnosed and had just started chemo at the ripe age of 28 (almost 29; 1996) ; I had just been wig shopping to prepare for the hair loss and report back on Monday at work to one of my coworkers/girlfriends that I was happy with my new wig, that is had a sort of Jennifer Aniston (aka Rachel from friends) "look." She promptly replied "Uh...too bad that look is out" To this day, that one still makes me laugh at the pure insensitivity of it!
Regarding my husband, he is very sweet and supportive.....he just had some learning to do. (or "training" as my mom would call it)
I hope I made some one laugh who needed it!
~Wendy0 -
TravelWendyI heard the " I could get hit by a bus tomorrow"
True but your bus is hypothetical, my cancer is real. And if not, I didn't get to trade the bus scenario for the cancer scenario.
My counselor explained that when people say that its because they want to believe that you have the same chance as they. They are uncomfortable or sad thinking of the alternative.
Still pisses me off though.
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RaiderGirl, wWhen I was diagnosed with LFS, which gives me a nearly 100% chance of cancer (and a 57% chance of a second primary cancer, and a 38% chance of a third primary cancer), I posted a writing on another forum titled, "Would You Want to Know How You're Going to Die?" I got a response, "So you're saying this genetic condition makes you immune to buses? Yahtzee! Enjoy your jaywalking!" This, from a cancer survivor. Sigh.
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My friend is trying to talk me into flying halfway across the country to visit her. I told her logistically (four kids' schedules, husband's work and finances) I didn't see it working out anytime soon. She said, "Well, you made cancer work. So if you really wanted to make coming to visit me work you would." I was stunned. All I could say was, "My option than was do or die, so unless you are hiring a hit man to off me if I don't come, I don't see the similarity."
I am so pissed she would trivialize the fact I've had cancer twice and use it to try and manipulate me into doing what she wants.
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Told my Mom I would be doing Physical Therapy twice a week during the next month or so to get my scar tissue in shape before I start radiation. Her reply: Well, how is that going to effect your job?
I do love my mother, she is my rock, but...
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My husband announced to some friends and relatives that the reason I got bc was because I didn't eat my broccoli. Later I told him his mother ate three times as much broccoli and still got it.
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Cheesquake, How / why did they think to test for LFS.
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Cheesequake, I did have a long post to you last night. About 2 hours later, I realized it might not be good. I put it in storage. I don't have a definitive gene to blame for all the stuff that's happened. But I do know there is a bad one. Reading about what those genes can cause, can make you crazy.Think of a straight line. At the zero point would be no cancer. At the 180 degree point would be death. You've had one cancer. You are bumped up the line. I'm a total of 4 bumps up the line, but still kicking and happy. Of course, I wish it wasn't happening. The worst was the BC, I was extremely lucky with that one. The other stuff was caught early. All the systems are being survielled. I just keep working the problem.
I do know how to work the system which has helped immensely. They're has been times when I've gone to a knew specialist, I just tell them we are doing such and such. I learned long ago that docs rarely take the time to read back in the history. They deal with their body part, disease, or system with the present problem. They have 15 minutes. Can't be fixed in 15 minutes, the problem can get lost. I push them for a plan and do the follow-ups. If it leads to another specialist, then I research what needs to be done. If they don't suggest what the research suggests, I push until I get them to order it OR I'm happy with why they believe it should be different. Not happy with them, I get a new doc. For the stuff that has happened to me, I'm alive b/c I've been my own advocate and organizer.
So, tell me do you want to see the other post? Okay if you don't. My first bump on the sameday, I was told I had a brain tumor, BC, and lost my career in the space of < 4hours. Bad bump day. I think I got drunk that night, forget. That's kind of the point. It's so long ago I forget. Still on the same line, moved up the line, but happy to be here and enjoying life
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I hate when people complain about ailments that they have to me.. and then say "I know its not cancer"...but...
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sas-schatzi, thanks for your posts. I had my port placed yesterday so I'm only just catching up now.
I'm with Kaiser, and one of the first questions I was asked when I went in because I'd found a lump in my breast was, "any family history of cancer?" When I tell them yes, my dad has had three cancers and his brother and mother died of cancer," they immediately referred me to a genetic counselor. They did a panel of 20 different genetic tests, including the BRCA tests. I came up positive for LFS and also had a mutation of unknown significance in another gene - so now that's on record in case they ever discover a significance in that particular gene mutation.
I'm not sure what your stored post is about, so I'm not sure if I want to read it or not
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Faye
Oh no she didn't!!!!
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Cheesequake, I have a bad family history and I'm on my second primary, a benign brain tumor that could have gone bad etc. From my perspective it wasn't bad, but I later thought what about Chessequakes point of view. Now that I know more, it's fine. I'll just post it. You can say yay or nay after you read it.
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Cheesquake. It's not in storage. I screwed up somehow. The message regarding being on a continuum is much better anyway. I'm likely going to get the Colors test. Since we have such need of surveillance, maybe eventually sharing info is good. Maybe a thread.
This link is to a BCO thread that has a link to the Colors Genomic sitehttps://community.breastcancer.org/forum/47/topic/830809?page=1#idx_15
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