Stupid comments ....
Comments
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I heard the breast comments too.....ignorant crap. I heard from those that had no clue what this was like.."oh if it was me I'd take them off in a second"
Really?? Well, I'm glad that is easy for you to make that decision when it is NOT really happening to you.
I swear, I still cringe when I see how sexualized women are and that includes their breasts. It's hard, my dh has never once made me feel less sexy or feminine, but I still struggle w/o them. When I see women with breasts wearing clothes that show cleavage I'm jealous. I can't help it.
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tangranchris
Breasts are not jar-lids. You cant just screw them off
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Breasts are not jar-lids. You cant just screw them of
OMG. That made me laugh!
Mornin' ladies. Speaking of retail therapy, when I finished chemo I bought myself a sapphire ring. No other reason than I was finished chemo and I liked it. Went back two days later for the matching earrings. What the hell? Life is too short to deprive ourselves.
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I'm totally using the jar-lids quote the next time it comes up. Thank you RaiderGirl!!
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When I finish chemo I am going wedding dress shopping for our vow renewal ceremony.
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When I finished the whole fandango, my hubs presented me with a string of pastel multi-shade Tahitian pearls that would knock your eyes out. "Because you're my pearl of great price," he said. He's a keeper.
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Triple love!
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sbelizabeth: That is AWESOME.
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I have a nice story to share. I saw an old friend this weekend up in Colorado, whom I have been in touch with through the years, but we have not seen each other in person for a good 14 years. I was debating about telling her about my bc, because she lost a sister to ovarian cancer 8 years ago, and it was just horrible for everyone. The sister was Stage IV and went through various treatments for 5 years until nothing more could be done. I knew my friend was devestated with the loss of her sister. I lost a brother to a rare genetic illness 23 years ago and know that pain only too well. She went through that with me too, so she does the "hard stuff."
So I was debating, do I say anything or not because of knowing what she went through with her sister? I was talking to my BFF, who met her years ago and she said "I know you want to keep this as private as possible, but I don't know how you could not say anything to her." I told my BFF that she had lost her sister to cancer, so I needed to check in and see how she was doing before I shared anything. I told this other friend when you share this type of news with people, you have to be prepared for their reaction. And it is often not what you expect, even with people you think you know really well. You never know what is going on with them and if they can hear it.
So after spending a day together, I told her I had something I wanted to share with her, and she got a big smile and think she thought it was going to be something good. I prefaced it by saying it was not something easy to share, but wanted to share it with her and told her. She was naturally shocked to hear all that had been going on, but also understood my need to keep things private and get through it. I said I knew that she had lost her sister to cancer, and just felt I needed to see her and tell her face to face and for her to know I got through treatment and am doing okay; almost half way through the five year follow up process. After I told her, she smiled and said she could hear this and was glad I shared this, and was glad to see I was doing well. We then toasted to my health.
Something I have figured out, the people who can hear this the best are people who have had it (or have it), or it has touched their lives in some way. I have told three additional people in the past year, two whom lost someone to cancer in the past and one who is just finishing treatment. They all could be present with it, no dumb questions. They all appreciated I told them face to face too. The challenge we have is we never know how people will react, but am glad I could share it with my friend this weekend. I am grateful for friends who love us the way we are.
Thank you for listening to my story!
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Tjh,
a renewal ceremony sounds awesome!
Shebelizabeth,
What a great gift and beautiful sentiment....not to mention Tahitian pearls are gorgeous!
Jazzy,
I like a story that comes out right, and what you are saying about those who understand is true, one does best with those who are "members of the club" or who have been to our events as a +1
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Stupid comment...sugar causes cancer, sugar makes cancer grow. Even though studies gown no direct correlation. People want a reason that someone they know/love has cancer ...there is no easy, 1 stop answer. AND if I want a truffle, I will have 1! Except with the chemo chocolate tastes like rust....very depressing:
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yum, pass the truffles please?
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French Broad Chocolates, Ashville North Carolina are the BEST. They own the plantations and make them from scratch with local ingredients. The caramels are fantastic as well.....and they ship them.
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I heard that sugar comment repeatedly from one woman. Not sure how she thought she got promoted from busybody to oncology expert, but that does seem to be going around. Just smiled and thought "bite me" (and I'll find out today if chemo is going to make my beloved chocolate taste like rust; hang in there tjh!).
And the next time my mother tells me how lucky I am and how grateful I should be, I'm gonna flip. My brother told me that she told him this was a gift. I want the return receipt (and possibly a new mother).
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Inkster - I got the "gift" talk too from my mother. She also said Cancer was God's way of making me slow down! So, now I see God gave me cancer as a lesson in self scheduling! My favorite is how several people have told me that a "benefit" of my Cancer will be to make my 15 and 17 year old boys more self reliant and independent! Gee, just what every two sport junior athlete scholar getting ready to apply to colleges needs is some more pressure and worry. As for my sweet 15 year old, he worries all the time and stays around then house. Oh, yes cancer is the "gift" that keeps on giving
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Gawd, how I hate the "cancer-is-a-gift" horsesh.... feathers. Or the "your-skin-will-be-so-beautiful-during-chemo" or the "your-hair-will-grow-back-thicker-and-more-luxurious" or the "god-has-a-plan-for-you" horsesh.... feathers. Seriously?
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Scarlett...YES! That is what my dear MIL said to me too!! My husband wonders why my tongue is always bleeding when I get off the phone with her!
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I'll say, fine. I'll trade you any day for these gifts.
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I use the "bite me" expression a lot too! LOL.
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Oh please, most "gifts" are returnable, when this is then they can call it that!
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"God only gives you what you can handle"
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thinkinPos
I have received the "God gives you only what you can handle" and "God bought this to you He'll bring you through it".
I cannot abide by either comment. I just can't be quiet when I hear it.
Really? If I were a weak, sniffling, whinny, incompetent human being I would have been spared cancer? Maybe your God would do that but not mine.
As for God bringing this to me and then helping me through it is absolutely absurd. Why would a loving God bring me cancer ? So, He can prove His powers to help me? So I will be plunged into despair and cry out to Him? How cruel. Again, maybe your God would do that but not mine.
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I would like to return this "gift". Where is the return line? Or can I exchange it for a pony? That would be OK too.
I hate the "gift" line,,,, and the whole "God only gives you what you can handle" line. What a crock. Major crock.
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No where in the bible does it say that God doesn't give you anything you can't handle....in reality the bible is full of stories of people being "given" things that are too much for them. I don't want to get into a theological talk because I'm just not that good at it...but I hate those comments too.
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I want a pony too!
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I want a puppy.
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Guys,
just came back from the market and ran into the woman we bought our new house from last year. She is a 20 yr survivor of ER+ bc, so we're talking about our experiences and this total stranger lady shopping for avocados at another table turns to us and says 27 yrs here!
So we're all feeling pretty damn good, and I push my cart along and there's one of my other neighbors who lives around the block from us. She knows I've had cancer and chemo etc, in fact the first time I met her at a welcome to the nabe cocktail party our other neighbors threw for us, I hadn't yet started chemo. I had had a mx just a few weeks before. She asks me who my Dr at UCSF is., I tell her, (this is a very well known DR) she tells me that this DR was her sisters doctor 10 yrs ago when her sister had the same kind of bc I have, and that her sister is now metastatic. So great. Yeah, you think l I don't think about that Cookie? Like it doesn't cross my mind about a zillion times a day, and is this supposed to make me feel weird about my doctor??? So I beat it out of that party.
Guess who I run into in the market today. She looks at me with a sad sad face, "How are you doing dear?"
Me: Fine
Her: I saw you on the Bike path the other day, I was going to Pilates. How are you?
Me: Well I was running so I guess I'm ok (bitch)
more sad sad face from her and then she tells me again about her sister, and my doctor, and we had the same diagnoses, so I say I really have to go, then she says how her sister is responding to this great new anti hormone drug they have her on.
I say that's great!
Her: (sigh) Well, I hope it works out.for both of you.
If I were her sister I'd be making Thanksgiving plans for Paris right now. I couldn't be trusted at a table with knives on it.
The final thing...How are you liking our neighborhood.
Me: Great, we love it
Me: In my head (except for you...you..rated R)
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A friend gave me the sugar speech, then at dinner suggested we split a bottle of wine, then while drinking it reiterated that I need to quit sugar - "including this," she said, gesturing to my wine glass. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
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cheesequake,
Geeze! No cure for stupid, they don't even go into remission.
Love Whiskey Tango Foxtrot btw
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how will Kris and Spookie feel about that?0
