STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
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sorry Lita, nothing gets my blood pressure up like fraud. Could it be a person with the same name? It happened to my mother but the birthday was different, hers went around and around finally got fixed.
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Bosom, I feel your pain, resorting to leaving the injured cat by the vet's door, hoping a Good Sam will pick up the bill. Hopefully you nudged it one step closer to safety,
I would think many vets would have taken the poor foundling in and treated it as best they could pro-bono, and then get quite a bit of positive press(free positive advertising) in return when the rehabbed baby finds a happy family to join, There was a time when I could have been the Good Sam, but i can't afford all the tests my own vet wants me to do on my elderly asthmatic feline Light of My Life, which kills me. I have to get real about how much money i can spend on cat meds, special food, and appliances to improve the air in my home. We all need to know and accept our limitations.
I sincerely hope the poor kitty was brought in and treated; shame on the vet (or inexperienced new admin) for letting you walk out. You TRIED. Let's hope the next step brought that cat back in; my guess is that it was.
Bosom and Marg, there is NO disgrace in accepting assistance when it's used when truly needed, used as it was DESIGNED. When i didn't have HS for a few months, I learned about the list of $4 drugs (30 days) and $10 drugs (90 days) you can get from Walmart. (Walgreens has a discounted list as well.) Drug companies frequently have cost assistance programs for more expensive drugs you can apply for. Other drugs you can order (despite what they tell you!) from a reputable Canadian pharmacy online with just an original paper prescription mailed to them before they can ship it. If you know the right size, I imagine you could order you LE sleeves and socks on Amazon for much less than the local supplier markup.
I personally have trouble asking for help, but it's been easier now that I have the Cancer Card to throw out when necessary; it's the ultimate get-out-of-jail card, the please-help-me-with-this! card. Mostly it gives me an excuse to put off vacuuming yet another day...
Marg, you may qualify for Meals on Wheels, energy assistance, or getting assistance cleaning for your house. In my area, (CT), it's usually the Nurse specializing in Survivorship connected to the hospital who knows how to unlock those goodies. Even typing in "211" in your computer browser comes up with a lot of local resources you may be able to use.
Lita, I've heard more and more medical ID theft stories lately. I've also heard the hospitals aren't always very helpful. I imagine the vitals (height, weight, visible age, gender, race, primary language, religious preference, etc.) on the chart of the thief won't match your DH. If the hospital says it was him, by all means, you have the rights to see (and make a copy of) the file! To protect yourself, you can contact all three credit bureaus to inform them that there is a fraud claim in progress, and request that anything that comes in and pertains to that be taken out of the "active" accounts that comprise your credit rating, and is relegated into a "disputed" classification that can't damage your credit rating, so no threatened collection action can harm you while you are trying to clear it up.
Carrie
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Thanks for the info, Carrie.
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So I called Federal Social Security office yesterday to tell them my STATE DISABILITY portion would be ending this month, and that I would need my FEDERAL portion bumped up in May. I was very clear as to what I needed. She told me to visit my LOCAL OFFICE immediately.
OK, no problem. So the next morning, I get up early, eat, dress, and go down there, pull a number, wait in the waiting area with the rest of the cattle, and when I finally get to the window, this other lady says, "You need to wait until the state sends you a 'Letter of Exhaustion' after your final payout, then come back here, and we can bump you up."
Now why couldn't the lady on the phone yesterday tell me that? My interaction at the office with the live clerk in the window took less than 15 seconds, but it took me over an hour to get ready and drive over there. The info could have been relayed easily over the phone, saving me, a STAGE IV CANCER PATIENT who is in a LOT OF PAIN from bone mets in the back, pelvis, hip and thigh, a lot of discomfort and exhaustion.
I think it's a game with them...rant over.
L
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Lita~ and pretty much everyone else's thoughts and struggles. i am pretty much sick of everything and sometimes if I am honest everyone!!! No one has a clue of what we go through every day and even every thought. "Oh stay positive, have positive thoughts" blah blah effin blah! I am the one who has it, I am the one suffering, with 120 daily side effects that come along with the thirty dang pills.
Then the nerve of someone who doesn't have cancer, says. "You need to excersise". Excuse me what? Clearly they have no idea what they have really just said to us. I spent two hours five days a week running like the wind and lifting free weights and strength training for four years like clockwork. Not a drinker. Nor smoker, eat things in moderation. The day I was diagnosed I ran 6.5 miles in like 62 mins and I am 46, at the time of diagnosis ,45. Like seriously? I ran more than 25 year olds and was in better shape. And I ran it with ONE WORKING LUNG!!!!and a severe case of thorasic outlet syndrome with extensive nerve damage, and the parting gift from mastectomy is drum roll. Lymphedema! Fan tast ic! Why the heck not. Pile it all on top. I went from stage two to stage four in one week! I just don't think they really have a clue what really goes on. They give us the medicine we take it because we have obviously no other choice. Then we play scan that body!!! Over and over again and go through literal torture waiting to hear whatever that evil sick disease decided to do in this six month time frame. I m sick of feeling tired and tired of feeling sick. I get so mad when I think of all the losers out there, that actually harm people and children, or rob from people at gun point, or steal someone's identity, murder, massive drug dealers. Those sh** heads live until 90? And I have to worry about seeing my children find their people and settle down and I pray to see my grandchildren and maybe actually die knowing they will be ok. Then there is my DH. My life , my love , my best friend in the world ever, always,since the day I laid eyes on him. Instant love. 14 years ago. He doesn't miss a beat. Constant love,constant support and devotion. Then I tremble alone at night with night terrors with gutted fear of leaving that beautiful man alone in this place that is just awful anymore. I prayed to find a love like that and I knew nothing would ever come near us and our love....... except at some point. It could be this. But of course this is what happens,when you're content and completely happy and one with your life and choices. Not hurting anyone. Just living a happy fulfilling life raising my children with a man I dreamed of for years in a bad marriage that I got out of. Found this wonderful man. I don't want to leave. And ....why do I have to? We've done nothing wrong. It makes me so mad and sick to my inner destroyed soul. I desperately miss who I used to be and want nothing more than to have that person back again. Where did she go ? Ugh maybe she is with my breast. Because as you can see that's now gone too. I'm done thank you!
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Wow. Stunned silence. Brava.
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Micmel: You're inarguably correct- THEY DON'T KNOW.
They sit behind desks or lean over you and wag their fingers, utterly clueless, and tell you what they think you need to be doing.
Screw 'em. YOU know yourself, your health history, what you can and cannot do right now. I can feel your outrage and frustration. It's scary and so unfair. I can't know what you are going through, but you can vent, and I can listen.
We are listening.
((hugs))
Carrie
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Lita, I'm still angry for you!
That level of incompetence is inexcusable. I'm sorry you went through that. There is no need for you to be physically taxed like that for no reason!
Do you happen to have the name of the Fed person who told you to go to the local office? I'd find out who his/her supervisor is, and write a letter that would take the prints right off their fingers. And CC it as far up as you can go. RAISE HELL.
Carrie
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Thanks so much, Carrie. I may very well do that.
What they did was inexcusable.
L
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Oh I have got to say this. I had someone from BCBS health insurance call me and asked to verify my birthday and address. I said no, you are calling me I have no idea if you are from BCBS. She said well we are told to verify but I called you because it looks like you have health challenges and your insurance benefit includes a nurse and navigater to help you. I told her I was fine and didn't need or want the service.
I hung up and thought health challenges are you kidding I had cancer and I'm not in poor health. This is not the first time the insurance company has offered a supporting nurse or counselor. I am sure it may benefit others but I don't spend hardly anytime at doctors appointments or dwell on my disease. If I want to talk with anyone it will be with you guys on this website real people who are going through it like I am.
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Meow- That's one example of many in which the call goes to voice mail. Anything official/important will come through the mail. If I don't recognise the phone number, it goes to voice mail. I've had those calls too when I had BC about services. Picked one up and that was the last time I pick up a call I don't know who it's from.
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Meow, I also have BCBS. I get phone messages from a BCBS 'case manager' on my house phone. I call back, get her VM, and give her my cell # because we don't answer the house phone. She never returns my calls (to my cell #) and keeps leaving messages on my house phone. She calls once a week. Very annoying.
She started calling while I was in the middle of my chemo treatments. You would think she would have called when I started treatments. Since I already finished chemo and had surgery, I'm not sure what a 'case manager' would do for me now.
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Micmil. I am like Shetland, stunned silence. But I gotta say "Good rant there, I love it but hate it for you. I have felt every one of those emotions and a few more". For instance how I just passed 3 milestones in my life and have not heard one word from family (except briefly from one sister.) Bought a new forever home, 30 year wedding anniversary and engaged daughter. Not a word from anyone, like a stone wall. My friends and coworkers have been far more wonderful at least. So you said it all for me.......thanks
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artista, me too. Some of family act like I don't exist since BC dx. I don't know why I am not dying and not asking anything from them. I am not a burden,thank God, atleast not yet. Some friends the same thing. Since I retired I only talk to a couple people from work all my other work friends don't respond to my emails or phone calls. I am still kind of in transition from BC and retiring.
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Artist~ I have been estranged from half of my family for over 14 years now, I am kinda used to it, but word has gotten around to them that I am sick and the phone calls and awkward silences were there. I don't what they would want from me, now that all this time has gone by. I think they have guilt because they are Dic*s! I listened to them and said that I wasn't looking to rebuild any Realtionships,. Or really rebuild the bridge that they blew up all those years ago when I was raising my kids all alone. Without my second DH I don't know where we would be. My kids and I adore him and I have gotten a wonderful step son that I am crazy about like one of my own. They chose my X over their own daughter. So I told them to go do something very nasty to themselves. I never really tried to get the relationships back. I needed unconditional family,. Like I have always provided. So now a little while. After it's official and it's getting around, I get a call from my grandmother, to whom I have also not spoken to in 14 years. She's releasing my inheritance , so I can have it while I am well enough to enjoy it. That is one call I am glad I did take. At least someone cared enough to do that for me, even though she's as nutty as a fruit cake. But honestly over all I have been treated better from people I barely know, then by people who are supposed to be family. I think that is just another word anyway. I think family is something that grows with trust and understanding, not craziness and selfish behaviors. It's funny I decided to get rid of them before in was even diagnosed,and sometimes even that doesn't bring families back together, because the damage is already done and we are all creatures of habits to som extent, and we have grown to accept it. At least I have. I do not need drama and negative people around me, especially now when every day counts more than ever! Be strong. Love who loves you. You're to special to be treated badly by anyone. Sleep well ~M~
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Actually my fam is considered very loving. They are just way overbearing know it alls who are big anxieties (to add to my own) on top. So hence they don't know except my bro who isn't like them. When I was locked up for anxiety 6 years ago, they all thought I came out feeling better and no issues therefore. They put their Dr Oz and Dr Phil hats on. I cut down seeing them after that, let alone with something like cancer which they would drive me to want to be locked up for good. So my tip is for anyone wondering whether to tell fam/friends or not, think about how they are. You can't untell them. I do fine on my own with a good friend and bro to talk to to share.
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Ha Artista, overbearing can be just as bad I suppose. That Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz comment makes me laugh. I have a friend like that who I try very hard to not get annoyed by....I am not really sure where the problem lies with my family except that I have always been the long distance sibling so haven't been there for some family functions. One of my sisters has VERY adamant political views and we differ on that......I just don't get it. Are they just lazy? Too busy? (really?......) For 30 years my DH and I were ALWAYS the ones to travel to them. Pack up the kids, the Christmas gifts, Thanksgiving pies, Easter baskets and travel. Sometimes through very bad snowy weather. In 30 years, each of my siblings has come up to visit us maybe a handful of times at most, even though we lived in a spacious home in a beautiful vacation location. Like you micmil, I have been blessed with the most supportive, understanding, loving husband ever and a couple of very caring loyal friends, so I do feel luckier than most. I feel like I am coming to a place of acceptance about it but would still like to be enlightened. I could never do that to one of them.
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It feels so good to complain to you guys. I don't know why people react the way they do but it seems to be a common event.
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Yup. Being on my own beats potential crap I would hear from fam. They are in the dark about my stuff and will remain that way God willing. I do write them and send cards for occasions, just general stuff. I am lucky about my anxiety issues that got me locked up so they don't question why I say I don't leave my house and am on meds, which I am.
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artista~artist~and meow~. I think When something like this happens, relationships will either strengthen or they will fail. Family always seems to hold that failure title. We just get up and move along in life. The people I adore I keep close. Those i don't and saw some true colors. Boom 💥 gone! Then there are those who jump right in and bring one meal and then you never hear from them again. So you know what. I can still cook. "We are always here for you, just ask". Excuse me but did you actually just tell a cancer patient to ask for something? As if we don't have enough to think about no less asking Dic*heads for anything!!!!But like an elephant..... a cancer patient never forgets!!!!
Keeping you all close in thought and prayer ~M~
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Oh haha micmil, no kidding. I already feel so beat down, the last thing I want to do is start asking for stuff and being perceived as a pain in the ass. All I wanted was to still be asked to go out for coffee, shopping or a movie. Maybe an occasional phone call to hear "Hey, how are you?" I still feel well enough and have that fabulous DH that I don't need much. But the emotional side is another story. To feel like siblings just don't give a rats ass after 59 years is a hard one to swallow. But swallow I have and time to move on and find the joy where I can.....
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Oh haha micmil, no kidding. I already feel so beat down, the last thing I want to do is start asking for stuff and being perceived as a pain in the ass. All I wanted was to still be asked to go out for coffee, shopping or a movie. Maybe an occasional phone call to hear "Hey, how are you?" I quit calling them because when I did I left messages that went unanswered, had one sibling who when they asked how I was doing and I said I feel OK but was having a hard time with anxiety, said "Sorry I have to go, My girlfriend is at the door........"
I don't need much at his point. I still feel well enough and very luckily have a fabulous DH that takes very good care of me. But the emotional side is another story. To feel like siblings just don't give a rats ass after 59 years is a hard pill to swallow. I miss their company and family get togethers. I envy how they all get together with nieces and nephews and cousins as they all live in basically the same area. I am the outlier and it's just too much trouble to make the drive I guess. At this point I feel like I made the effort for all those years, and very much like you micmil, it's time to focus my time on me, my kids and my DH. Selfish? Hell ya..
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artisa~family is a strange word. I've heard of the word but not quite sure if my childhood brood fits that phrase at all. I believe family is what you create, when you're an adult, not something you're born into with no choice to agree or not. They are a waste of time honestly. I have made a new best friend out of all of this and losing those people that I was born into, have led a life filled with problems and drama. I. Chose a different path and I have a Rock solid marriage now and three kids I adore as you all know what a mothers love is like. I've come to the conclusion that I was hatched and someone grabbed the wrong egg!! Inside of us all we know we are good! Even with this dreaded cancer I have had many unexpected blessings and help. Than I ever would have not this had happened. So I take the good with the bad. I've learned. Hey if you're annoying me. Ba bye! Bless you all! It's too the point to where I have nothing else to loose so don't SCR*W with me ormy family. You didn't want anything to do with me while I was healthy. Don't go calling me now, to clear your conscience, now that you realize that you've acted like an as* for the past 14 years. Idiots ! Personally, I'd rather get all of us ladies in the same room, my bet it would not only be a blast, but we all do really have a sisterhood that no one else can ever understand. ~M~
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Too true, M. Rock on.
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Things get weird when you have cancer. Ive been telling my family that the cancer is gone don't worry. It seems to make them feel better. We really need a cure.
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Meow~ it does get weird. It's because we lost control of what we thought was our lives and our bodies. And then those decisions were no longer ours, I know it makes me so mad.! I'm gonna scan May 5th. So I'll drink the hand lotion that they give us to drink the night before and the morning of. And pray to the heavens above for stable or regressions scans. If my scans aren't good I think I'll lose another marble. I am feeling so strong and better everyday. Limited pain. I'm running again. Last week, I jogged 22.66 miles last week. So if my scans aren't good, then once again logic will not have played a part. Which will send me into a mental spiral. Like we all have had, when we sit there and know our onc is talking but all we hear is buzzing and see his lips moving, and my family is reacting, but I am too numb to comprehend what has just happened. Then life presents itself upside down! Sick of the words onc, cancer,side effects and many others Bless you all 💜~M~
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Radiation will start...AGAIN...tomorrow. Had my mapping and tattooing done this am, and then met up with my former co-workers for lunch because today is my ex-boss's 70th birthday. That's him in the picture.
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He must have a painting (like the picture of Dorian Grey) in a closet somewhere because he sure doesn't look 70 to me!
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So what ready made meals can you eat from Trader Joes??
I love their ready made stuff, frozen stuff and pasta sauces. Really am digging their meatless meatballs with their marinara sauce. Ate a few bags until it just hit me now to look at the bag and the jar, and both contain soy. Ah! I have 2 bags left and 1 jar left. I'll probably finish them and stop. Seems it's debatable as to whether dietary soy truly increases the risk of recurrence or not. Anyone here not a rigid label reader?
When I was first dx'd I was a label reader. Now I don't. Food is my only vice as I live alone and it seems like everything may cause cancer! Ah!
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I hope they find their kitty.
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